Contraception and Catholic couples

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SDA2RC:
I am sorry if this seems disrespectful, but of all Catholic doctrines, parts of this one make no sense to me… It would make much more sense to me if the Church said… just dont use any method or anything at all, just have relations and let God decide when your going to get pregnant or not.

Brandon
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There is nothing about being married that says you have to have sex… that is periodic abstention can be good if done for just purposes. Even for something like time to pray, or the health of the mother…

I Corinthians 7:3-6

3 The husband should fulfill his duty toward his wife, and likewise the wife toward her husband. 4 A wife does not have authority over her own body, but rather her husband, and similarly a husband does not have authority over his own body, but rather his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control. 6 This I say by way of concession, however, not as a command.

But when you do have sex, the procreative potential of the act should not be thwarted by artificial means. Having sex outside of the fertile time is not artificial.

The church has never taught that every act of sex must lead to pregnancy in order to be holy.
 
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SDA2RC:
Dave,
What you saying does not make sense… the definition is "deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation ". Whether the act of abstention is done by one or both partners in the marriage, it is still a “deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation”
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I have posted a question on this issue in the Ask an Apologist forum to see if the CA staff can help us. I for one would also like a definitive answer. Watch that forum to see if they give an answer.
 
Brandon,

I’m going to try to shed some light on the NFP thing. I’m not that great at explaining it, but I’ll give it a shot. Actually, NFP, as I understand it, is only supposed to be used by married couples who have a serious reason to postpone a pregnancy. It is not supposed to be used just because a couple already has 2 children and doesn’t want anymore. However, when serious circumstances warrant it, they may use NFP to postpone a pregnancy. A serious case in my book is my friend who had two tubal pregnancies and the doctor told her another pregnancy could easily endanger her life.

Now I know there are folks out there who consider NFP to be ‘Catholic Birth Control’ with the stamp of approval from the Vatican, but it, too, can be used for the wrong reasons. That is why it should only be used after careful consideration.

I heard it explained this way. Catholics, like all Christians, pray the Lord’s Prayer. It it we say, “thy will be done”. How can we pray this prayer but then actively reject God’s will for our family by using birth control.

My husband and I endured 7 years of infertility hell before adopting a baby and then conceiving and being blessed with two more children. We will probably be using NFP because I had high blood pressure spikes after the birth of the second (who is only 3 months old). Since early strokes and heart problems run in my family, I want to make sure I’ll be around to see my 3 babies grow up.

My two cents. Hope it helps.

Cathy
 
I assent to Catholic teaching on birth control; I obey it but I do not agree with it. It is an academic question to me now, as I am a widower (twice over) with little likelihood of remarrying.
I think Church teaching is aimed at the wrong target. It has gotten hung up in the rules and mechanics of artificial vs natural means of birth control.
The REAL problem is the mentality among most in the developed Western world that things are more important than people (for instance that a new car or a home in an upscale neighborhood is more important than being open to having another baby). The Church is alive to this, but only secondarily–it ought to be the primary focus.
The argument that artificial contraception is against the natural law is not convincing. The Church argues that contraception is intrinsically evil because it is “against natural law”. The concept of natural law was an ancient Roman construct (law of nations, etc.) which the Church appropriated. Then the Church could claim authority over natural law and claim the right to make interpretations about it even for people who do not accept Church authority.
However, I think that NFP is a darned good idea. The use of drugs to prevent pregnancy exposes a woman to certain well known dangers to life and health (more than pregnancy itself?). But I think the Church should not impose NFP as a moral obligation.
Perhaps I feel this way because the deaths of both my wives (both Catholic, both in their thirties) were related to pregnancy, which aggravated their physical conditions (liver disorder, diabetes).
But I think that the Church should do everything in its power to teach the value of life and of children–which is more important than to worry about whether they are using natural or artificial means to prevent pregancy.
 
There is also the Delphi Natural Family Planning forum at:

geocities.com/nfptalk/

**Welcome!
**This is a discussion board about
Natural Family Planning
as approved by the Catholic Church.

Please join the discussion!

This is a Catholic message board yet all are welcome to post here. However, anti-Catholic remarks or debates will not be tolerated. Rude posts will be deleted immediately. Trolls and spammers are locked-out without notice. We are fostering a support community here, not a flaming debate board. Charting questions should be posted to the board, not sent to the board moderators. Please know that most of the board members are NFP users with varied levels of personal charting experience; however, there are several certified NFP teachers from various methodologies on board who can answer technical questions. Represented are: CCL, CrM, and various diocesan STM methods. We also have some LLL experience on board for nursing moms with questions
 
The fact that so many Catholics do not follow this Church teaching is exactly why it is so hard to take the practice of Catholicism in America seriously. It’s an insult for those who do take the teaching seriously. The fact that the Church does not insist that Catholics follow this teaching, let alone vote pro-life, seems very wrong. I think it has gotten to the point where I do believe that the Catholic Church is the Church Jesus founded but I think the people have become corrupt such that faithful Catholics are torn at heart. The leadership needs to do more to stop this. I find it very, very, difficult to reconcile how the Church leadership allows such mockery. Is there no holding to standards? What about the damage done to those who would follow the Church teachings? It’s very, very, difficult to be a faithful Catholic when people just ignore Church teachings and they are not stopped from being considered Catholics.

This has been one of my greatest disappointments and damages to my faith. I start to wonder if the Church tolerates it because these people at least give money. This in turn raises other questions.

The faithful Catholics here are helpful. However, this should be the norm, not the exception.

I don’t mean to be negative, but I truly struggle deeply to reconcile this.

Greg
 
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PilgrimJWT:
I assent to Catholic teaching on birth control; I obey it but I do not agree with it.

I think Church teaching is aimed at the wrong target. It has gotten hung up in the rules and mechanics of artificial vs natural means of birth control.

But I think the Church should not impose NFP as a moral obligation.

Perhaps I feel this way because the deaths of both my wives (both Catholic, both in their thirties) were related to pregnancy, which aggravated their physical conditions (liver disorder, diabetes).
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I am very sorry to hear of the two extreme losses.

I believe that assent to Church teaching is first and foremost a matter of the heart. Applying the intellect through increasing knowledge helps to provide rationale and depth to our obedience. But there is a difference between assent and consent. Reluctant assent, as you present, is more of an acquiesce for self interest reasons (ex, avoiding consequence of sin). Consent implies a voluntary agreement, and in the Catholic faith this means more of a faith relationship and mutually binding exchange of wills. May the Holy Spirit inspire and lead you to move from a resistant, compliant assent to a hearty, fully subscribing assent, for the good and ease of your soul.

I guess that part of my blessing is that I always begin with premise that the Church is always right in matters of faith & morals, and that my task is to go about my study of understanding why and how much the Church is right!
 
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Greg_McPherran:
The fact that so many Catholics do not follow this Church teaching is exactly why it is so hard to take the practice of Catholicism in America seriously. It’s an insult for those who do take the teaching seriously. The fact that the Church does not insist that Catholics follow this teaching, let alone vote pro-life, seems very wrong. I think it has gotten to the point where I do believe that the Catholic Church is the Church Jesus founded but I think the people have become corrupt such that faithful Catholics are torn at heart. The leadership needs to do more to stop this. I find it very, very, difficult to reconcile how the Church leadership allows such mockery. Is there no holding to standards? What about the damage done to those who would follow the Church teachings? It’s very, very, difficult to be a faithful Catholic when people just ignore Church teachings and they are not stopped from being considered Catholics.

This has been one of my greatest disappointments and damages to my faith. I start to wonder if the Church tolerates it because these people at least give money. This in turn raises other questions.

The faithful Catholics here are helpful. However, this should be the norm, not the exception.

I don’t mean to be negative, but I truly struggle deeply to reconcile this.

Greg
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I agree. It sometimes feels like I am being mocked from within and without the Church for being an obedient Catholic in teachings of faith and morals. Yes, surrounding yourself with faithful Catholics makes it tolerable, in fact thriving, to stand in boldness with authentic Church teaching. My understanding of Church history is that in practically every generation there tends to be more of a minority, a remnant if you will, of the faithful flock. So apparently this is to be expected. Just don’t let it get under your skin too much. God knows. God is doing His intervention.

God Bless!
 
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rfk:
For some people, the label “Catholic” is merely something akin to ethnic pride, as in, “I am an Irish-American Catholic”.
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Kind of sounds like a politician I know…
 
I think people who are truly Catholic obey this Church teaching! Otherwise I think they dont know it is a sin or pick & choose what to believe…
 
I am proud to say that my parish priest and deacon have spoken of contaception on more than one Sunday homily. I wish they would go into more detail on the beauties of marriage and how contraception inflicts pain and mediocrity on the marriage. But I am still grateful that my parish priest and deacon preach like it is supposed to be. I even heard a very good homily on how a Catholic should vote in accoradance w/ the Church’s teachings. Now how many parishners are practicing these teachings, I have no idea. I hope it is a very private matter and many are choosing to practice NFP, or not using contraception.

I do have a bone to pick. I fully understand that a group has the authoirty to allow or disallow people to join. The group also has the authority to reject people if they will not follow the rules of the group. However, my wife and I were rejected from being able to become teachers of NFP from a national (or maybe internat.) NFP teaching organization on the basis that my wife would still choose to work too many hours after the next birth of our next child (which I am happy to say is in March, a girl). The rejection surprised me b/c Catholics are not really standing in line and making reservations to be included in the sacrificing apostalate of teaching NFP. And besides, my wife is a nurse, and our Church needs good Catholic nurses. An NFP teaching Catholic that is a nurse should be a very positive sign for a soon to be married Catholic couple. But, due to the rejection, we are now expecting to enroll into a different program, that unfortunatley costs much more and we will not be able to be teachers until a few more years (a personal choice b/c of a new family, etc.). Til then, we will sanctify our ordinary actions, educate our children, and will do our best to cooperate with our Lord’s will.
 
My husband and I are both cancer survivors and have been advised by our Drs. to not get pregnant because of the possible effects to a fetus of the radiation and chemotherapy we have received. We already have 2 children ages 11 and 8.

We are both really struggling with this issue. Is is ok, in a situation like this, to contracept?
 
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YinYangMom:
This is the part which stirred trouble in my marriage early on though…because it was difficult to find ‘my’ pattern more often than not I was ‘refusing’ intimacy out of fear of and ‘untimed’ pregnancy. Well, we were basically using NFP to ‘space’ our children since we wanted at least four and were certainly open to ‘something’ happening ‘outside’ the ‘peak time’ as a sign from God that it was meant to be. But unfortunately, not being able to determine that time caused a rift that took many, many years to heal and to be honest, it still isn’t quite there. So here I was saying ‘No’ and hubby, over time, took it personally as rejection. According to the church teachings, it seems I was wrong to say “no” when I did which stirred up trouble, yet I was ‘right’ to say no since we were using the NFP for spacing.

Bottom line…it messed us up…so I’m still so darn confused about how using NFP to not conceive is still in line with our directives to be intimate and open to life.
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I DO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING I FEEL GUILTY OF THE SAME THING.
WHAT IS THE ANSWER? i HAVE 7 KIDS AND I FIND MYSELF DOING THE SAME THING.
 
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schwarla:
My husband and I are both cancer survivors and have been advised by our Drs. to not get pregnant because of the possible effects to a fetus of the radiation and chemotherapy we have received. We already have 2 children ages 11 and 8. We are both really struggling with this issue. Is is ok, in a situation like this, to contracept?
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Wow, cancer is so hard. My mother recently died with one still in college and the “baby” in eighth grade. My heart goes out to you.

Here is personal story that might help you decide.

I physically never left the Church. Spiritually I left her in high school. I “loved” the Church, but I stubbornly refused obedience to her. Christ mercifully allowed suffering to soften a hardened heart. My stubbornness cost me. He allowed me to grow into obedience and the self-inflicted damage from my grave sins still hurt both physically and emotionally. Thank God for confession and adoration. He is so merciful.

During my lengthy conversion, I realized the pill made the uterus wall a hostile environment where the newly formed embryo could not implant. The result is an abortion, one dead baby. I begged the Lord to show me if I fathered an unknown baby.

He answered my prayer. In the dream, my one-year-old girl was a toddler in a pitch-black environment. She tugged on my pants asking, “Daddy, where is my older brother?” Then everything was completely black, devoid of all life.

You see I am a murderer.

Christ have mercy on me, a sinner.

I will beseech Jesus to send down His Mercy and Precious Blood on your family. We need His Mercy so much.

May our Mother of Mercy wrap us in Her loving arms.

:blessyou:
 
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schwarla:
My husband and I are both cancer survivors and have been advised by our Drs. to not get pregnant because of the possible effects to a fetus of the radiation and chemotherapy we have received. We already have 2 children ages 11 and 8.

We are both really struggling with this issue. Is is ok, in a situation like this, to contracept?
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Sorry, no, nope, none, nana as for medical exceptions in the Church’s teaching regarding the right meaning and purpose of marital intercourse (unitive and open to new life) that allow for contraceptive intercourse. 😦 I know, and I know of some of the struggles, as I have myself as a good Catholic have extensively explored this issue for my own marital situation. See below previous Family Life forum threads that address your question:

Moral dilemma; please help!
Contraception and Culpability of Laity ;

;

If you need/desire additional resource to clarify this is question for you, I found the below web resource very helpful:

Sara Fox Peterson:* a stay-at-home mom and certified teacher of the Billings Ovulation Method of Natural Family Planning. She holds a BS in biology and an MS in human physiology, both from Georgetown University, and lives in Maryland with her husband and two sons.*
*For additional ‘cyber-support’ you are also most welcome to join in the discussions in the Catholic Mom Community’s NFP Forum - http://p205.ezboard.com/fcatholicmomcommunityfrm63 *

*copyright 2004 Sara Fox Peterson :*Sara can be contacted by email at sfp@thosepetersons.com - please indicate “NFP” in the subject line of your email.
 
Those who practice barrier method ABC often refuse to see any difference between NFP and the barrier methods. To any who hold this position, I suggest you go back and reread MrConrail’s post (#79).

NFP contains a built - in mechanism which compells the couple to MONTHLY reevaluate the grave reason for continuing to avoid pregnancy. In other words, it is self correcting of abuses in people who understand the procreative aspect of sex. MrConrail appears not to realize it, but he is the poster child for this effect.

Barrier method ABC’s however allow the couple to progressively divorce the unitive and procreative aspects of married sex because it’s use requires no SACRIFICE.

Thank you all very much. This thread has deepend my commitment to NFP. I have always struggled with how hard it is to “give up” so many days each month to the fertile times. Being part of the struggle made me realize the value and purpose of those lost opportunities: to MOTIVATE us to really discern if we have a grave reason to avoid or not.
 
Plus a barrier method is effectively Onnanism in that the “seed” is not deposited where it should be. This is a big no-no in the Bible. God killed Onnan for it.
 
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Poisson:
Not exaclty what you are looking for but have you ever hear Dr. Janet Smith’s talk entitled “Contraception: Why Not?” It is amazing she quotes a bunch of statistics which may be of interest to you.
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You can order that tape or CD for free at onemoresoul.com (it comes highly recommended)
 
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schwarla:
My husband and I are both cancer survivors and have been advised by our Drs. to not get pregnant because of the possible effects to a fetus of the radiation and chemotherapy we have received. We already have 2 children ages 11 and 8.

We are both really struggling with this issue. Is is ok, in a situation like this, to contracept?
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Have you considered adoption, to give your two children another sibling or two? That doesn’t address the issue of sex in your marriage…remember that chastity is for single and married people, and God is eager to help you with it - just ask Him in prayer!
 
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