Corporal punishment, tips on how to raise children

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Debora123 said:
I understand that completely.

I just wouldn’t go as far as to say that any parent who uses a brush or spatula or whatever to spank verses their own hand, is automatically guilty of child abuse. That’s why I said it really depends on how it’s done and how hard. A firm little tap with an object is hardly child abuse.

My Dad told me his mom used to spank him with a spatula and give little whips on the butt with a belt. My Grandmother is a loving person and a great mom. She did not abuse her children.
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You are right, I cannot make the guilty charge of whether or not a parent is abusing their child with a spatula.

I stand corrected. Thanks Deb.
 
Debora123 said:
My Dad told me his mom used to spank him with a spatula and give little whips on the butt with a belt. My Grandmother is a loving person and a great mom. She did not abuse her children.
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I was spanked with a pancake turner, a belt, bare hands etc. I was NOT abused by any means. I knew I deserved my punishment. I could care less today about the spankings I had. I only even remember a couple, and that was because of what I did, not because the spanking was worse than another.

What I *do *remember is that my dad was always too tired to throw a baseball with me. Or that we couldn’t go fishing because the yard had to be mowed or raked.
 
28562 said:
You’re lucky. Either your son is incredible easy or your have saint-like tolerance. 😛 👍
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I wish he were easy. HA! I love him to death though. I definitely do not have the patience of a saint either.

There are days when I could wring his neck…but I don’t b/c I love him and want to see him tomorrow 😃
 
anp1215 said:
I think you likely won’t know until you have kids how you’re going to discipline them. As others have said different kids require different methods of discipline. That’s why I don’t say I will/will not spank my kids…because I may have kids that do not respond to spanking, or I may have kids that do.
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You are probably right.

There is only so much a person can do to prepare for parenthood! 🙂
 
Debora123 said:
You are probably right.

There is only so much a person can do to prepare for parenthood! 🙂
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Deb before I had my son I was against spanking. My son is a very headstrong stubborn little guy and on occassion, he has needed a swat on the bum to get my attention.

My son has tested my patience beyond what I’m able to handle. He was a terribly difficult 2 year old and since he turned 3, he has only been smacked on the bum once when he wouldn’t stop pulling his sister’s hair.

I never thought I would need to spank; I always thought that time outs would work better and they are extremely effective, but there are times, mostly when he’s hurting someone, where I have had to swat his bum. It gets his attention and he stops biting or pulling hair.
 
Serap said:
You are right, I cannot make the guilty charge of whether or not a parent is abusing their child with a spatula.

I stand corrected. Thanks Deb.
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Hey no probs girl. I understood where you were coming from.
 
Serap said:
Deb before I had my son I was against spanking. My son is a very headstrong stubborn little guy and on occassion, he has needed a swat on the bum to get my attention.

My son has tested my patience beyond what I’m able to handle. He was a terribly difficult 2 year old and since he turned 3, he has only been smacked on the bum once when he wouldn’t stop pulling his sister’s hair.

I never thought I would need to spank; I always thought that time outs would work better and they are extremely effective, but there are times, mostly when he’s hurting someone, where I have had to swat his bum. It gets his attention and he stops biting or pulling hair.
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LOL!

I’m hoping my kids will all be exactly like my husband and nothing like me. Docile personality, laid back, obedient, sweet to a fault… the complete opposite from my hot Latina temper and stubbornness. 😃
 
28562 said:
That one answer was the most common sense post on the thread. It could have settled this ten pages ago…that is why I said the thread could end there…LOL
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Oh, haha! Thank you!

I didn’t understand what “/thread” meant. :o

You have made some great points, btw. Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut!
 
The Queen’s grandfather, George V, and I have the same philosophy:

“My father was afraid of his mother;
I was frightened of my father,
and I am damned well going to make sure that my children are afraid of me.”
 
Bezant said:
The Queen’s grandfather, George V, and I have the same philosophy:

“My father was afraid of his mother;
I was frightened of my father,
and I am damned well going to make sure that my children are afraid of me.”
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Yes, that royal family is such a well-behaved bunch too. :rolleyes:
 
What does hitler, stalin and pol pot have in common? None of them were spanked as children.
 
Ah, these long spanking threads and debates… Many of the common practices of today’s parents could look an awful lot like child abuse too. How will future generations view us for physically restraining toddlers with devices and straps? And how will our grandchildren and great-grandchildren look at our practice of giving mind altering medication to school aged children? Speaking of schools, what about placing large groups of minors together in windowless, crowded rooms for 7+ hours a day, locked in guarded buildings?

This may one day be displayed as an antique torture device commonly used by child abusers in the 21st century:

i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/88/43/92/56/0088439256650_180X180.jpg
 
gardenswithkids said:
Ah, these long spanking threads and debates… Many of the common practices of today’s parents could look an awful lot like child abuse too. How will future generations view us for physically restraining toddlers with devices and straps? And how will our grandchildren and great-grandchildren look at our practice of giving mind altering medication to school aged children? Speaking of schools, what about placing large groups of minors together in windowless, crowded rooms for 7+ hours a day, locked in guarded buildings?

This may one day be displayed as an antique torture device commonly used by child abusers in the 21st century:

i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/88/43/92/56/0088439256650_180X180.jpg
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👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!

I read an article recently that time outs are a form of emotional torture. Studies are starting to come out that time outs emotionally harm children.
 
Serap said:
I read an article recently that time outs are a form of emotional torture. Studies are starting to come out that time outs emotionally harm children.
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My son would rather have a spanking that some other more long term punishment any day of the week. Still, I have to roll my eyes at such language as “emotional torture” for time out. That’s even more extreme than calling spanking an assault.
 
pnewton said:
My son would rather have a spanking that some other more long term punishment any day of the week. Still, I have to roll my eyes at such language as “emotional torture” for time out. That’s even more extreme than calling spanking an assault.
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Yes, I agree and that’s why the anti-spanking folks are not necessarily any wiser for it.

We may find new studies in 20 years telling us we got it all wrong with the anti-spanking movement.

I spank and use time-outs so I’m in trouble 😃 My daughter will be practicing the “parenting du jour” when she becomes a mom and I’ll be saying, “Well in my day, we did xxx and you turned out just fine!”

Parenting is a moving target…no one really gets it “right”.
 
Serap said:
Yes, I agree and that’s why the anti-spanking folks are not necessarily any wiser for it.

We may find new studies in 20 years telling us we got it all wrong with the anti-spanking movement.

I spank and use time-outs so I’m in trouble 😃 My daughter will be practicing the “parenting du jour” when she becomes a mom and I’ll be saying, “Well in my day, we did xxx and you turned out just fine!”

Parenting is a moving target…no one really gets it “right”.
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My paternal grandparents were born in 1888 and 1890, they did not spank my father (according to my father) I was privileged to live with my Nonna for a few years, she was always patient with children, yet commanded respect

My father was born in 1934, we were never spanked. He commanded respect. All my cousins respected Uncle Joe,(my dad) and would obey him, he was the Uncle who was considered the most strict by all, and he was. He had the best ballance of just giving " the look, " and getting compliance., yet being kind and gentle.

So it isn’t a parenting du jour, or a new fangled idea to not spank, there have been people who were not spanked, and grew up to be good functional members of society. It’s possible. Supposedly, my dad could be naughty as a child, according to my Nonna’s anecdotes, so he wasn’t particularly an easy child.

I wish he were still around. He was a great example that I really would have loved, now that I’m a mom.
 
Serap said:
Parenting is a moving target…no one really gets it “right”.
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I prefer to think that most of us get it right, or at least right enough. After all, mankind keeps marching on through parenting fad after parenting fad.
 
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