Daycare and Raising Catholic Children

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I think an oppressive low-wage economic environment that forces women to have to neglect their kids is an abuse. You think that’s ok? I wouldn’t read more into that quote.

Anyway, Vatican II says the same thing with regard to mothers being home and preserving that role in its Constitution on the Church in the Modern World:

Gaudium et Spes:
The children, especially the younger among them, need the care of their mother at home. This domestic role of hers must be safely preserved, though the legitimate social progress of women should not be underrated on that account.
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Obviously people have to do the best they can for their kids given their circumstances–no argument or judgment there from me.

EDIT: even more on point to the earlier quote from QA, here are some quotes form Laborem Exercens from the 1980s (my emphasis):
Experience confirms that there must be a social re-evaluation of the mother’s role, of the toil connected with it, and of the need that children have for care, love and affection in order that they may develop into responsible, morally and religiously mature and psychologically stable persons. It will redound to the credit of society to make it possible for a mother-without inhibiting her freedom, without psychological or practical discrimination, and without penalizing her as compared with other women-to devote herself to taking care of her children and educating them in accordance with their needs, which vary with age. Having to abandon these tasks in order to take up paid work outside the home is wrong from the point of view of the good of society and of the family when it contradicts or hinders these primary goals of the mission of a mother26.
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The true advancement of women requires that labour should be structured in such a way that women do not have to pay for their advancement by abandoning what is specific to them and at the expense of the family, in which women as mothers have an irreplaceable role.
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FYI - that quote is from 1931.

This whole topic sure is emotionally loaded, isn’t it?

How are devout Catholics who follow all the rules (no ABC), supposed to afford to raise a family, especially if the mom doesn’t work? I think most mothers would prefer not to work when the children are very young, or at least to work very limited hours.

Young American Catholic women should just accept that they should choose a man based on his earning capacity. Maybe they should tell this to girls in Confirmation class or something. 🤣🤣:rofl:Otherwise she’s going to have a very hard time raising many children, while cobbling together some form of childcare / part-time work, etc.
 
Loud-living-dogma said:
How are devout Catholics who follow all the rules (no ABC), supposed to afford to raise a family, especially if the mom doesn’t work? I think most mothers would prefer not to work when the children are very young, or at least to work very limited hours.
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At least the more kids you have, the more staying home becomes more economically feasible than working and paying for day care…Of course, that presumes one’s family can make it on just one income–and with the whole economy geared to a two income household, that is impractical or impossible for most. I don’t know how it can ever be fixed…we all just have to do our best in this world…
 
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I’m just not sure that it’s productive to bring up all of these documents that say it’s better for the mother to stay home. I honestly think most women feel this way instinctually, which is why this topic comes up. And also why so many women feel guilty about it. Yes, a society that requires two incomes to live on is flawed. Should women feel bad about working outside the home? Absolutely not.
 
Arkansan said:
“Mothers, concentrating on household duties, should work primarily in the home or in its immediate vicinity. It is an intolerable abuse, and to be abolished at all cost, for mothers on account of the father’s low wage to be forced to engage in gainful occupations outside the home to the neglect of their proper cares and duties, especially the training of children.” - Quadragesimo Anno #71
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For the record, this quote is from an Encyclical. Encyclicals do not have the authoritative weight of a Motu Proprio nor an Apostolic Constitution.

Don’t paint this as doctrine.

https://www.ewtn.com/holysee/pontiff/categories.asp
 
“Nor must it be thought that what is expounded in Encyclical Letters does not of itself demand consent, since in writing such Letters the Popes do not exercise the supreme power of their Teaching Authority. For these matters are taught with the ordinary teaching authority, of which it is true to say: “He who heareth you, heareth me”” - Humani Generis #20
 
Continuing to throw out these quotes is really missing the mark on caring for our OP. Yes there may be a layer of church teaching in there somewhere, but I read it more as a list of worries. She is a first time mother with an infant. She is hashing through all the complicated feelings we all go through as a first time mom with a baby in her arms.
 
Yeah, I only did it to show it is not some outdated claim, but has to do with human nature. There is a special part of a mother’s nature that is good for kids. Economic systems that do not provide women the freedom to benefit their children in this way are not good. That we mostly have such a system in the US is the real problem.

The key principle is to put our duties to our children as our first concern. If a mother having to work outside the home is ultimately a better fulfillment of her duties to her children–as it is a lot of the time these days–then there is no guilt for her there and her sacrifice should not be looked down on at all.

On the other hand, I think there can be selfish motivations too that do not put the children first (not accusing anyone here of that). We all need to examine and follow our consciences.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
Bl Zelie Martin is not only a working mom who is on the path to Sainthood, she raised one child who is a Saint and a second is beginning that path!
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FYI

St. Zelie Martin is already a Saint now 🙂

Zelie and her husband were both Canonized together on Oct 18, 2015. Relics of St. Therese and Sts Louis and Zelie Martin are available for veneration here in Philadelphia at a Discalced Carmelite Monastery in Philadelphia. And the Archdiocese of Philadelphia is also home to a new Catholic Classical High School, about 3 miles from my house, named after both of Sts. Zelie & Louis Martin. The high school is called Martin Saints Classical High School.




God Bless!
 
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We never wanted it anyway, but when we looked at it, we saw that we would actually lose money if my wife worked after the baby.

Anyway, also look at being that Catholic mother that other families hire to watch their kids–you’re at home, and dodge most of the expenses and whathaveyou of working outside . . . and still get some income.

$6/hr at home probably beats about $20/outside.

hawk
 
If you’re a decent caregiver, you can do a LOT better than $6 an hour.
 
I would be too worried about liability to watch someone else’s kids full time unless I was a licensed provider. What if the child is injured in your home? Or even dies of SIDS? It is scary enough when it happens to someone licensed who probably has liability paperwork for parents to sign but with a more casual situation, you could really open yourself up to potential liability issues.
 
Allegra said:
If you’re a decent caregiver, you can do a LOT better than $6 an hour.
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Yep. That was my rate for just one child when I was getting started, but I made a lot more than that shortly after once I had references and experience. It really was a good job and if we needed extra money in the future I’d definitely do it again.
 
The point isn’t how much can be made, but that even a modest amount for the extra child while raising your own is likely more than the net outside wage after daycare and other work expenses.

Personally, we found that we would lose money by her going back to work when our first was born. I was already using all of the tax deductions, etc., For my income, and at the full marginal tax rate, work clothes, daycare, gas, etc., It would’ve added up to more than she made.

(And it’s not like she wanted to be out there instead, anyway!)

hawk

What
 
With 6 little ones I could not really afford daycare but if money wer e no object, they would go. If you find a center you like, it is a great option. Staff are paid to care for the kids. The kids are the priority. As a mom at home my kids would get more attention at a center, with staff who are not also trying to clean, pay bills, grocery shop, and more. My toddler begs to go to the gym nursery, been going since 3 months and loves it. It is social and fun.
 
IDK…Where I’m at $6 an hr (per kid) is pretty on point, if not a bit on the high side.
 
Most women who do this in their own home take in more than one kid though, and it’s pretty hard to find a nanny that will come to your house for less than $10 an hour no matter how many kids you have.
 
I’m just worried about someone teaching my child things that I don’t approve of. A daycare provider will probably end up spending more waking hours with my child than I do. She will become the primary provider. I’m also worried about discipline. How will my child be dealt with when she misbehaves? I really don’t like the idea of someone correcting my child’s behavior.

At the same time, my husband doesn’t make a whole lot. So, I’m kind of forced to work. I’m just having anxiety over leaving my baby with someone other than family.
 
Is a childcare provider going to interact with her during her waking hours? Is she going to read to her and play with her and simply just talk to her? These people just take care of a child’s basic needs. Children need so much more than that. I’m extremely afraid that my baby, who needs to be held a lot and loves human contact, will be left in a bouncer or crib most of the time. What if the provider becomes to busy with the other children and babies and can’t get to my baby in time to comfort her? It’s been shown in recent research that if your child is left to cry for a certain amount of time each day that they can have emotional difficulties when they are older. There is a lot of neurological pruning going on in a child’s head. When a child cries, synapses will make more connections in the emotional region of the brain causing them to become overly emotionally than what is normal.
 
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