Desolate and alone

[Trishie]

A lot has happened in a very short period of time!
Yes, I don’t think I could have hidden the truth of my emerging enlightenment for long.
You are like a seed that stayed underground for a long time, but now you have grown to the surface, and can’t hide that.
Still, all very strange for you.
You didn’t gave a full sense of self when you became entangled in someone else’s roots, but now you need your space to grow.
You will still love/desire the best interests of W and her family, but I’m not convinced that with time you won’t overcome the ‘unreasonable’ in your perception of attachment to her.
Time will tell.
May God give you all strength in dealing with these emerging changes, and the graces to implement the wisely.

God bless,

Trishie

 

[joanofarc2008]

Congratulations - I am happy to hear this. I would suggest you offer her the number to the Catholic Charities counseling services as well. It may help her as she makes these life transitions.

 

[chipeto]

I would suggest you offer her the number to the Catholic Charities counseling services as well.

She wouldn’t go for anything Catholic, I’m afraid. Perhaps a year ago, she and I had a late night conversation which turned to religion. I told her all of the things that were in my mind, and how all of my praying and studying were leading me to Catholicism. She was gobsmacked. She took what I had thought to be a simple description of my own journey to be a vicious attack on her beliefs. We had a terrible row. At any rate, she has many friends and an extended family that she can talk to, which is more than I can say.

Last night she brought up three possible scenarios for establishing her independence:

1. That we would remain living together, but she would somehow pay her fair share of the bills, and so it would be equitable.
   I replied that this would be logistically difficult, and would not be much of an improvement at all, since we would still have the habits, attitudes, and feelings of 14 years hanging over us, so we could really never be ‘just roommates’.
2. That she would move out, but still need some assistance from me, such as a fixed monthly amount to supplement her income.
   I replied that while this is far superior to our current situation, it is still far from ideal, and that we should make every effort to pursue:
3. That she should move out and be self sufficient.
   I pointed out that such a change would necessarily mean doing without many of the luxuries she has now, and she accepts that. I offered to help with hiring an attorney to facilitate her disability assistance application, since that apparently can speed up the process.

I really wasn’t as confident and sober as I probably sound. I was shaken up. But we got through it with the beginnings of a plan.

 

[joanofarc2008]

She wouldn’t go for anything Catholic, I’m afraid. Perhaps a year ago, she and I had a late night conversation which turned to religion. I told her all of the things that were in my mind, and how all of my praying and studying were leading me to Catholicism. She was gobsmacked. She took what I had thought to be a simple description of my own journey to be a vicious attack on her beliefs. We had a terrible row. At any rate, she has many friends and an extended family that she can talk to, which is more than I can say.

Last night she brought up three possible scenarios for establishing her independence:

1. That we would remain living together, but she would somehow pay her fair share of the bills, and so it would be equitable.
   I replied that this would be logistically difficult, and would not be much of an improvement at all, since we would still have the habits, attitudes, and feelings of 14 years hanging over us, so we could really never be ‘just roommates’.
2. That she would move out, but still need some assistance from me, such as a fixed monthly amount to supplement her income.
   I replied that while this is far superior to our current situation, it is still far from ideal, and that we should make every effort to pursue:
3. That she should move out and be self sufficient.
   I pointed out that such a change would necessarily mean doing without many of the luxuries she has now, and she accepts that. I offered to help with hiring an attorney to facilitate her disability assistance application, since that apparently can speed up the process.

I really wasn’t as confident and sober as I probably sound. I was shaken up. But we got through it with the beginnings of a plan.

Then regardless I would suggest she find counseling of some type - just give her the number and tell her it has nothing to do with religion except that they offer reduced rate counseling. I also would suggest getting her out of the house ASAP since she is so sure she has not needed you.

 

[chipeto]

I also would suggest getting her out of the house ASAP since she is so sure she has not needed you.

I’m afraid I couldn’t bear to do that, for reasons I’ve previously mentioned.

 

[Trishie]

Chipeto, she hasn’t thought of working on her marriage relationship?
It seems at least more likely that she might make the extra effort with H if she doesn’t have you to lean on financially? Not knowing their relationship…but with you less in the picture, for the sake of the children having their father, it would seem to be a responsibility for her to make the effort at least. The failure can’t be all his.
God’s will be done.

I can understand a little of how unsettling this all is for you.
And lonely.

Keeping you in my prayers.

 

[chipeto]

Chipeto, she hasn’t thought of working on her marriage relationship?
It seems at least more likely that she might make the extra effort with H if she doesn’t have you to lean on financially? Not knowing their relationship…but with you less in the picture, for the sake of the children having their father, it would seem to be a responsibility for her to make the effort at least.

We talked about this for over an hour last night, and it made me feel good that she would confide in me, because the last time she tried to do so, which was months ago, I was very angry about it and wouldn’t listen to her. Her main complaints/hurts in her marriage are:

• allowing his family to be dependent on another man (me)
• a sequence of emotional affairs stretching back to the beginning of the marriage
• pornography

She knows that I do not believe in divorce, and she was hurt by my hostility to the notion, because I seemed to her to think that she should simply suffer in silence. She maintains that infidelity is a biblically valid reason for divorce. She doesn’t know if the emotional affairs were ever also physical, but says that emotional affairs are more hurtful than physical ones.

I asked, gently, why she had refused to go to counseling. She said that she had been trying for a long time to get H to get help for his pornography and emotional-affairs problems, but he never would. So why should she go to counseling to fix the marriage when he had for so long refused to put any effort into it?

I declined to engage her on these matters because: 1) it would do no good coming from me, and 2) given our history and my tangled emotions, I do not trust my own judgement on this score. I believe that the best that I can do is to simply turn it over to God. Certainly, these problems are very serious ones, I wouldn’t diminish them, but it’s not as if she’s entirely innocent.

I know that some eight years ago she herself had an emotional affair. She has expressed regret for that. I’m fairly certain that the 2-4 hours daily she spends on the phone with the man she started seeing after the separation constitutes something along those lines (they seem to have stopped the ‘dates’ after their pastor found out and threw a fit, but they still talk on the phone). I think that she sees this as justified because of the separation. After all, during her separation from her first husband, she was intimate with at least four men, of which I was one.

She has told me that in order for her marriage to be saved, God would have to change her heart, because not once since he has been gone has she wished that he would walk in the door. To the contrary she feels only relief.

I can’t imagine that she would ever go back to him for monetary reasons, and at the moment she has a low opinion of him as a father.

 

[joanofarc2008]

I think #1 sounds like it was as much her manipulation as every one else doing. She needs to start owning up to some responsibility and look at INDIVIDUAL counseling.

 

[NiceMimi]

Chip you mention that your love for her is unreasonable, but love is love. God loves us all no matter what, and that means loving us period. So, it’s okay to love her even if your love for her has no reason ------ It is also okay and quite reasonable in your situation to move on so that you can have the good life you deserve and the life God has intended for you. You are right in not involving yourself with her future finances. It may be best to also not involve yourself in her marital situation and her possible involvement with someone else. Your goal is to extricate yourself from this situation, and it is best to do it quickly and absolutely. There is a whole web of baggage that she has created with her life choices, and unless you want to carry them all your life, and continue to burden yourself with her life choices, it is best to move on quickly. It may be painful, but it will be worth it. You are still young, and the perfect age group to become a husband and father to a woman who shares your values and interests. The first step is to extricate yourself from her. I will continue to pray for you. God bless you!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for continuing to lead Chip and for continuing to bless him as You have been doing during this journey on the road of life. Father, I ask that You send him Your Holy Spirit to continue to guide him. Thank You Father. Amen.

 

[Halo]

Step out in faith friend. The Lord is indeed calling you by name today. Fear not. Just put the first foot forward and I’m sure we are all waiting to hear about your new life that is about to begin.

 

[edithsteinrocks]

Chip you mention that your love for her is unreasonable, but love is love. God loves us all no matter what, and that means loving us period. So, it’s okay to love her even if your love for her has no reason ------ It is also okay and quite reasonable in your situation to move on so that you can have the good life you deserve and the life God has intended for you. You are right in not involving yourself with her future finances. It may be best to also not involve yourself in her marital situation and her possible involvement with someone else. Your goal is to extricate yourself from this situation, and it is best to do it quickly and absolutely. There is a whole web of baggage that she has created with her life choices, and unless you want to carry them all your life, and continue to burden yourself with her life choices, it is best to move on quickly. It may be painful, but it will be worth it. You are still young, and the perfect age group to become a husband and father to a woman who shares your values and interests. The first step is to extricate yourself from her. I will continue to pray for you. God bless you!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for continuing to lead Chip and for continuing to bless him as You have been doing during this journey on the road of life. Father, I ask that You send him Your Holy Spirit to continue to guide him. Thank You Father. Amen.

Yes, yes and absolutely yes - all of this!

Chipeto, you’re on your way. Thank you for keeping us posted. I continue to pray for you, as do we all.

Hang in there. You’ve come this far. Just keep doing your part, one day at a time, and God will take care of the rest.

 

[chipeto]

Chip you mention that your love for her is unreasonable, but love is love. God loves us all no matter what, and that means loving us period. So, it’s okay to love her even if your love for her has no reason

Yes, it is the knowledge that God loves me that keeps me going. I can’t stop loving her, because I don’t know how. That is something that she does well, has done many times, but I don’t seem to have the facility. I have loved three women in my life, and I honestly never stopped loving any of them, but with time I gained distance. I just need to be stronger and love without holding on to her.

It may be best to also not involve yourself in her marital situation and her possible involvement with someone else.

Not just a possibility anymore; I have now seen convincing evidence that they are in love, even though she maintains the fiction that they are ‘good friends’. Regardless, I am trying to leave this with God, and to wish only that God’s will for her be done, whatever that might be. Reminding myself that I am a sinner, that I am not better than her, and that in a similar situation I might well make the same choices, helps.

Your goal is to extricate yourself from this situation, and it is best to do it quickly and absolutely. There is a whole web of baggage that she has created with her life choices, and unless you want to carry them all your life, and continue to burden yourself with her life choices, it is best to move on quickly. It may be painful, but it will be worth it.

I absolutely agree that it would best for me, and ultimately less painful, to make a quick and clean break. However, there are complications, such as the children, so it will take a little more time. I am going to push her to file for the disability assistance immediately, which will be the first best step we can take in that direction.

I went with her to Sam’s Club today (because I have a membership and she does not), where she loaded up the cart. When we got to the cashier, I set aside the two video games I was buying as gifts for her sons. She seemed puzzled for a moment, and I could see in her face that she was taken aback because I did not step up to pay for everything, as I would have done in the past. Then something seemed to click for her, and the moment passed.

I think I’m slowly getting better, by the grace of God.

Thank you so much for the encouragement.

 

[Jesus_123]

+Chipeto . . . the below Holy Psalm is a marvelous . . . comforting and strenthening . . . portion of . . . ****God’s **Holy :bible1: Word **. . . as a teacher . . . I try to always stress memorization of . . . Sacred Scripture . . . in all my classes . . . whether teaching adults or children . . . by taking into our hearts the . . . eternal . . . strengthening truths of the . . . Holy Thoughts of God . . . and daily nourishing our souls on His Holy :bible1: Word . . . our faith has a chance to grow . . . *day by day *. . . and there will come a time when there will be no room for any . . . false . . . sense of desolation or aloneness to try to creep in . . . for the great kindness of our . . . **God’s Wonderful Holy Presence **. . . will have become so real . . . that obediently living by faith will become as natural to living life as breathing . . . and I know of no more wonderful portion of Sacred Scripture to begin memorizing than the beautiful Psalm quoted below . . .

**The
23rd Psalm **

The
**Lord **
is my
shepherd;
I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in
green pastures:
**he **leadeth me beside the
still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Yea,
though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for **thou **art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou
preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies:
**thou **
anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.

Surely
goodness and mercy

shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell
in the house of the
**Lord **
for ever.
+

*The Hail Mary

Hail Mary . . . full of grace . . . the Lord is with thee . . . blessed art thou among women . . . and blessed is the** Fruit **of thy womb . . . Jesus . . . Holy Mary . . . Mother of God . . .pray for us sinners . . . now . . . and at the hour of our death . . . Amen . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . dear Holy Loving Shepherd of our Souls+
. . . draw even deeper into Thy Sacred Heart+
. . . this Thy beloved child+
. . . and please quickly untangle these adults and children’s lives+
. . . and may we be so very careful to give Thee+
. . . all the praise and all the glory+
​

 

[NiceMimi]

God bless you Chip! You are a good person! The children are certainly important. I don’t know her, but I am wondering if she is perhaps using her children as pawns because she knows you care about them. It says quite a lot to me that you have to pressure her to apply for disability. Is this what she is telling you: That she has a disability? If so, why does she have to be pressured to apply for something that she would need? I know that if (God forbid) I had some kind of medical need, and I needed money to help me and my children get by, I would certainly jump at the chance to make sure that I and my children were taken care of. In fact, when I found out that there were public funds to help our special needs son, I practically moved heaven and earth to get the benefits for him a.s.a.p. Again, I don’t know her, but I wonder about her. Could she be twisting things to get you to continue taking care of her and her children? With so many social programs out there to help people get back on their feet, and help them start anew ------ especially a mom with kids, why is she not moving heaven and earth to make sure that she and her children are taken care of without having to impose on someone else to such a great degree?

I still believe that there is a way that you can get her to move out immediately, and I trust that she knows it, but the financial advantages of staying with you far outweigh her doing things the right way.

I do think that telling her that she has to move out immediately, is the way to go. A quick and clean separation is ultimately what will benefit everyone — including the children. If you think she is unable to care for her children properly, then perhaps a call to child services is in order.

God bless you!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for protecting and guiding Chip. Thank You Lord for walking with Chip every step of the way, as he begins a new life. Cushion his pains, and Lord please help this woman and her children move on, and leave Chip in peace to live his life as You have intended for him. Thank You Lord for continuing to bless Chip ---- because it is clear that You have blessed him in many ways. Amen.

 

[Trishie]

We talked about this for over an hour last night, and it made me feel good that she would confide in me, because the last time she tried to do so, which was months ago, I was very angry about it and wouldn’t listen to her. Her main complaints/hurts in her marriage are:

• allowing his family to be dependent on another man (me)
• a sequence of emotional affairs stretching back to the beginning of the marriage
• pornography

She knows that I do not believe in divorce, and she was hurt by my hostility to the notion, because I seemed to her to think that she should simply suffer in silence. She maintains that infidelity is a biblically valid reason for divorce. She doesn’t know if the emotional affairs were ever also physical, but says that emotional affairs are more hurtful than physical ones.

.

Neither of you should be surprised the husband had ‘emotional affairs’. You both emasculated him from the beginning. Your own generosity was admixed with selfishness, not wanting to let the woman go. The woman actually had a hide, blaming her husband for dependence on you. She is just as complicit. You aren’t the victim here, the kids are because you became a part of their life you should never have been, and the marriage is, and has been from the beginning, because you were in it and you shouldn’t have been. There was a lack of genuine love and respect towards both her and her husband in your taking responsibility for supporting another man’s family. Innumerable families live on a low budget. We did, and we lost our home…but we didn’t expect anyone else to fund us, and I don’t have to wonder the effect it would have on my husband as a man if anyone had.

What kind of self-esteem was he left with…a former lover living with him and his wife for 14 tears! Neither you nor his wife should judge him very much, certainly without seeing your own culpability.

The husband may have found understanding elsewhere, understanding and respect he should have found at home. He should have stood up to you both, but he was dealing with two people with self-interest. You love the woman less than you think because you were loving yourself in the relationship. You certainly should have helped, if you must in getting them into their own place but it certainly should have occurred before the last two children were born, for their father’s sake, the marriage’s sake, and for the children. You have had a lot of support but those issues need to remain in sight too, I think. May God bless all concerned

 

[chipeto]

It says quite a lot to me that you have to pressure her to apply for disability. Is this what she is telling you: That she has a disability? If so, why does she have to be pressured to apply for something that she would need?

She really does have serious health problems, namely hypersomnia with narcolepsy and fibromyalgia. Since her doctor believes that she may have MS, she has been waiting for further tests because they may strengthen her case for disability benefits, but I am not so sure, and the insurance company is playing games at the moment. We will probably consult with an attorney.

Could she be twisting things to get you to continue taking care of her and her children?

I do believe that she is sincere about wanting to be independent from me, but such desires do not, as a rule with her, translate into a consistent and focused resolve. Also, I have been radically more pleasant in recent weeks (a fact on which she remarked), and this, I suspect, may weaken any urgency she feels. But, no, I don’t think that at all her intent, even if she is frightened by the thought of starting a new life.

With so many social programs out there to help people get back on their feet, and help them start anew ------ especially a mom with kids, why is she not moving heaven and earth to make sure that she and her children are taken care of without having to impose on someone else to such a great degree?

She and her husband are probably the worst procrastinators I’ve ever encountered. I could tell stories.

I still believe that there is a way that you can get her to move out immediately, and I trust that she knows it, but the financial advantages of staying with you far outweigh her doing things the right way.

I’m not so sure. I have seen, in the hundred notebooks she scribbles in and leaves lying around the house, pages of calculations, sums of her incomes, listings of her expenses, ideas for economizing, etc. It clearly has been on her mind for some time. I do think it likely, however, that she may try to delay the inevitable. After months of rancorous quarreling with her husband every night, she is enjoying some newfound peace, and likely won’t welcome the stress of such a major change.

If you think she is unable to care for her children properly, then perhaps a call to child services is in order.

She isn’t abusive or negligent, just poor.

 

[chipeto]

Your own generosity was admixed with selfishness, not wanting to let the woman go.

There was a lack of genuine love and respect towards both her and her husband in your taking responsibility for supporting another man’s family.

You love the woman less than you think because you were loving yourself in the relationship.

Yes. It took many years for me to see that self regard was at the core of what I had done. It is a terrible moment when the lid is lifted from one’s whitewashed tomb and one sees that the inside is ‘full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth’.

What kind of self-esteem was he left with…a former lover living with him and his wife for 14 tears! Neither you nor his wife should judge him very much, certainly without seeing your own culpability.

I bear enormous responsibility for his misfortune. He is several years younger than W, and at the time they were dating, was still living with his parents. So, there has never been a time in his life when he was truly independent, and I made sure of that.

 

[Trishie]

Yes. It took many years for me to see that self regard was at the core of what I had done. It is a terrible moment when the lid is lifted from one’s whitewashed tomb and one sees that the inside is ‘full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth’.
.

**I agree. It’s a shock and demoralizing. Any of us who go through such realizations find ourselves re-thinking everything, and hoping in God to lead us out the other side.

Years ago I wrote the following prayers in such self-questioning and despondency:**

In failure

Jesus, I put my trust in the apparent failure of the Cross, for You are condemned to a criminal’s execution and it seems that Your mission has failed, You who alone could redeem humanity. Yet You are triumphant over sin and death!

Who can accept that it is God-incarnate whose sweat and blood drips into the dust, from Your drained, dishonoured body! Yet Your human cry of abandonment by the Father is belied by the triumph of love and faith in Your final confident submission. You die, but You have not betrayed the Father’s trust.

Jesus, to my sadness, I fail in many ways and sin against others by my failures. Have I betrayed Your will or mistaken Your purpose? Will You restore me to grace now, Jesus? To do what? Will You show me? Will You fuse together the broken pieces—of my life, of my service—to make a new and better creation? Am I to step around the fragments and to pass another way?

I ask to walk with certainty along the path of holiness that You choose uniquely for me. If not, then please allow me the certainty of buoyant faith. I ask courage to continue through the enveloping fog, trusting each small moment to the illumination of faith and grace.

Jesus out of my failure, loss, and sorrow please bring healing and goodness luminescent as priceless pearls grown around grains of suffering, for Your glory, and for mine and others’ remedy and blessing.

“If you feel too lazy to pick up a bit of thread, and yet do so for love of Jesus, you acquire more merit than for a much nobler action done in a moment of fervour. Instead of grieving, be glad that, by allowing you to feel your own weakness, our Lord is furnishing you with an opportunity of saving a greater number of souls.” (Saint Therese of Lisieux)

Peter’s regret

Jesus, I know the regret of one who fails to serve the need in another person, perhaps even in one’s most-loved. I have experienced the remorse of those who wound another, however unintentionally. Afterwards, there may seem no redress? The damage perhaps seems irreversible. The other’s heart or mind may seem unapproachable due to their nature or attitudes; or one simply lacks courage to risk the other’s anger or reproach?

When we bless others, we bless You, and when we wound them, we wound You… Thus, in Your weakest moment I left You desolate. In Your greatest need, I abandoned You—although in my confusion and loss I feel that You deserted me. Nothing can expunge your hurt then, in that time. I ask forgiveness, and You forgive. Yet the moment cannot return and you are gone. Not gone, but changed…beyond my touch and understanding?

The scars remain, burned in Your feet and hands, and in my heart. Yet You loved and chose, and gave Your life for me—although my weakness, fear, and sin betrayed and denied You. Now, in recompense made fit by Your pure sacrifice—again and again I shall serve and pray for each brother in his weakness and need, as You have done for me. Thus may I watch with my Lord, sharing a-hundredfold what once I denied You.

 

[Trishie]

Contrition

Father God, I have sinned against others, against myself, and against You. I am unworthy to be Your child. I have offended Your goodness and Your dream of who I really am. I may have denied You the joy of blessings that You wish for me and for others through me. You alone know the entire consequences of my failure. Yet Jesus assures us that You joyfully celebrate my return from sin, and run to welcome and reclaim me as Your own. I want to value myself as Your child, knowing that all worth and holiness comes from You.

In trust, I will not accuse myself for sins already forgiven and absolved or for temptation if I have not actually sinned. I believe that temptation can be overcome by Your grace, inspiring greater faithfulness to the Gospel and the Sacraments.

Our God, look on those tasks of love and service that I fail to undertake or to complete, and bring them to completion. Please bring out of my failures, such fruits of these new opportunities enhanced beyond all previous expectation, for from our human betrayal of Your divine plan of Creation, Your mercy wrought the magnificent plan of redemption that reverberates through time and eternity!

In Your mercy, please transform into good all that in weakness or ignorance I may spoil. Please give blessing that is abundant beyond original possibility, to anyone I ever harm or deprive. May I so belong to You, may I be so transformed by Your love, that my faults no longer are sin or offence in Your sight and can foster nothing that impedes Your will. This, my soul in trusting confidence implores.

In my weakness You are strength

Jesus, thank You for those who see my faults or misunderstand my motives and who thus reveal my need for conversion and healing. I repent my unworthiness, and ask that You offer me as gift to God in each broken moment restored.

Gather up my lost moments, Jesus! Cleanse and shape them with my sorrow merged with Your sacrifice. Burnish and set them with Your forgiveness, and illuminate them with Your love as treasures of witness, intercession, and atonement! Thus, make my flawed life into a gem of praise, service and delight for You in the Communion of Saints.

Praise to You, Jesus, who make treasure out of ordinary and fallen human beings!

“I live in a high and holy place, but I am also with the contrite and humbled spirit, to give the humble new life…I will heal and console him.” says the Lord God.”[Isaiah 57:15, 18]

• “In my ‘little way every thing is most ordinary; all that I do, little souls must be able to do likewise. (Saint Therese of Lisieux) Her little way “is the way of Spiritual childhood…of trust and absolute self-surrender.”*

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
Ask, and it shall be given you:
seek, and you shall find:
knock, and it shall be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

+I get the feeling Chipeto . . . that both you . . . and this woman . . . for lo these several years . . . somehow deep down . . . wrongly . . . have convinced yourselves that it really isn’t possible for a single mother with children to manage on their own . . . even though many such families do . . . quietly and with simplicity . . . live on their own all around us . . . and the children’s real needs are . . . simply . . . but . . . amply . . . provided for . . . most certainly it isn’t easy for a mother and such a family to so live . . . but it is . . . absolutely . . . possible . . .

The Lord graciously opened up the blest door of opportunity for me to serve Him first as a teacher in our church day school . . . and then as a church secretary . . . for well over twenty plus (20+) years here in the United States . . . and our home church . . . in their expansion plans as they continued to grow . . . as many churches do . . . purchased land around the church property for future development . . . which land included several homes which were rented out until the need and money to further build and expand occurred. For one of the homes we coordinated with the U. S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) regarding the rental for just such a single mother and her children as a family to live in . . . this is a huge . . . really quite marvelous . . . Federal Housing Program . . . and their standards for excellent living conditions for the renters are very strict . . . and strictly maintained . . . which program provides simple, sound, good healthy housing for those with limited incomes . . . below is more information regarding this great program and a link to their website . . .

. . . :coffeeread: . . .
HUD.GOV
U. S. Department of Housing and Urban Development

Rental Assistance
Learn more about renting and HUD rental assistance programs.

Need Help?

• Privately owned subsidized housing - HUD helps apartment owners offer reduced rents to low-income tenants. Search for an apartment and apply directly at the management office.
• Public Housing - affordable apartments for low-income families, the elderly and persons with disabilities. To apply, contact a public housing agency.
• Housing Choice Voucher Program (Section 8) - find your own place and use the voucher to pay for all or part of the rent. To apply, contact a public housing agency.

Local Renting Information

• Rental help in your state - find affordable rentals and special needs housing, get help with your utility bills, and more

Need Advice?

• Contact a housing counseling agency or call toll-free (800) 569-4287.

Your Rights and Responsibilities

• Fair housing
• Tenant rights, laws and protections in your state
• Rights of tenants displaced from government-funded projects
• Security deposits

More About Renting

• Ten tips every tenant should know
• Buying vs. renting
• Renters insurance

:compcoff: portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/rental_assistance

:twocents: Just a little two cents worth of further reflection: In regard to this woman’s health conditions . . . narcolepsy and fibromyalgia . . . one of my close friends suffers considerably with fibromyalgia . . . and though this can be a very painful condition . . . she not only is able to persevere and wonderfully manage her household and family . . . (husband and 2 children) . . . but is the full time office manager and receptionist for an incredibly busy medical office of seven medical personnel . . . though I imagine this condition may vary some as to intensity per individual and flare ups . . . *and I’m very sympathetic to anyone who suffers from this health problem *. . . it is a strong possibility that it . . . may not . . . factor in to qualify her in any way for a permanent disability status . . .

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Blessed Lord for loving us so much+
. . . Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+
. . . guide and direct+
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