Desolate and alone

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Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Also, Lord, thank You for healing Chip quickly from his operation. Amen.
 
Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Also, Lord, thank You for healing Chip quickly from his operation. Amen.
 
Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Also, Lord, thank You for healing Chip quickly from his operation. Amen.
 
Hey, Chip. So great to hear about your newest friend. 🙂 How is the dating progressing? You did sound rather taken, to say the least. 😉 Hope the news is still good!
 
Everything is going just wonderful with my girlfriend (which she is, now). The holiday season has been so busy for me, and I’ve also been spending a lot of time with her and with her family, who are all really great. We are talking seriously about a future together.

Thanks for asking Chev, and thank you Mimi for your prayers! God has been very good to me.
 
chipeto said:
Everything is going just wonderful with my girlfriend (which she is, now). The holiday season has been so busy for me, and I’ve also been spending a lot of time with her and with her family, who are all really great. We are talking seriously about a future together.

Thanks for asking Chev, and thank you Mimi for your prayers! God has been very good to me.
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Awesome news!

Can’t wait to hear this story unravel!

Btw, how do you feel when you see the title of this thread, from just months ago eh? 😉 God is awesome!
 
Hi Chip!!! I am just so very happy for you! You deserve the best!!! Yes, God is good! I trust that all will continue going well for you. Please let us know how it continues to go!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
Hello Chip! Please let us know how it continues to go! God bless!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
Hello Chip! I am assuming that our prayers have been answered, and that all is well for you. If you need more prayers, please post here, and I will resume praying for you. God bless you! I wish you all the joy for the future! You deserve it my dear friend in Christ. God bless!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
I can’t believe how long it has been since I posted last!

I received the sacrament of Confirmation on the evening of January 28, with my girlfriend as my sponsor. It was an amazing day, and she is an amazing woman, whom I thank God for daily.

W is no longer keeping her relationship with her boyfriend a secret, and this has caused some distress among her kids; the teenagers have told me that they simply do not like him. I think they are becoming accustomed to the change, however. Her husband will no longer talk to or even look at her.

While my girlfriend has been very understanding, she has made it clear, gently but firmly, that she does not like my living situation and wants it to end. So, after much discussion, I’ve agreed to hasten the inevitable. Last night, I told W that I want to separate in three months time, which is two and one half months before the lease ends (I will negotiate with the landlord for an early termination). She did not take this well, and said that there is no housing assistance available, because of the state budget shortfall. She said that the children would have to live with their father(s), and that she would have no place to live. She looked like she was about to cry. I’m not sure the situation is quite as dire as that, but I will admit that it troubles me a great deal. On the other hand, I don’t see what difference a few more months would make for her. I just have to pray and trust that God will provide, because I can’t any longer.

I’m eternally grateful for your prayers!
 
Great to hear an update chip!
Congratulations on your Confirmation!!!

Seeing as this woman is not your wife and the children either, you simply have absolutely NO obligation to provide housing for them. Simply put, she got herself in this mess, she’s gonna need to find her way out. It’s certainly a very unfortunate situation for her children but that’ also HER doing and you’ve been beyond gracious with everything you have offered them thus far.

I fint that the 3 months is also a very generous time limit and make sure she knows there is no pushing it back i.e visibly pack your stuff, talk about your new plans etc. She probably thinks there’s still a little left to squeeze out of you but don’t allow it! Im sure your lady friend will see to that 🙂

I’m glad you found happiness and wish you all the best! Praying that God takes care of all of you in that special way, only He knows how!
 
Hello Chip!

I am so very happy for you! Congratulations on your Confirmation! It is wonderful to hear that you are doing well!

I agree with 1inICXC on all points.

I trust that you and your lady friend will continue to do well! To paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful life!” 🙂 God bless you both!

Please let us know how it goes. God bless you both again!

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for caring for our dear Chip, and for walking with him every step of the way on his journey with You. Thank You Father for giving Chip insight into all things, and for giving him the wisdom in handling them. Thank You Father for carrying him and guiding him. Lord, thank You for bringing a peaceful and blessed life to him. Thank You Lord for Chip’s progress! Thank You for continuing to bless him abundantly in all ways!!! Amen.
 
Dear friends, it has been a long time since I’ve posted here, and much has happened. I really need your prayers.

The landlord has agreed to start a new, early lease with W. So, I am out of this place at the end of June. W will get roommates. That is all wonderful, in fact, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. The plan was that I would get a place closer to my girlfriend so that we could spend more time together.

However, my girlfriend broke up with me today. She was very compassionate about it, but the bottom line is that she feels like we are at different levels, namely that I am in this transition stage where I am trying to build my life anew, with God and with other people. There are ways she wants me to be that I am not, at least not yet, and she doesn’t feel like we are at the right places in our lives to make this work. She is afraid that she is controlling me, and she wants me to be free to grow. These are more or less her words. I didn’t try to talk her out of it, because I know that doesn’t work. She said that maybe in the future, when I have made these transitions, we could try again. I probably don’t have to tell you how easy it is for me to pin all my hopes on that! I told her that I love her and want her to be happy. There was no rancor; I really do love and cherish her, even when that means letting her go. She has such a beautiful heart.

But I am in such pain. We had something really beautiful together, something you just don’t find everyday. We had so many plans for marriage and family, and the happy, holy home we would make together. And I really love her beautiful ten year-old daughter, whom I had to say goodbye to today. I tried not to cry, but the tears flowed freely as I hugged that little girl and she said ‘I love you’. Then I carried the things that I had at her place down to my car and drove home.

I don’t know what to do now. The old thoughts of desolation and despair flit through my mind. I know that God has raised me from the dead once before, as I’ve chronicled in this thread. I pray that he does so again, but my faith is lacking. I wish I could find some consolation. I wish I could just abide in God and not be troubled about anything, but I’m not there yet. Or, I wish that God would just take me home. With this woman and her daughter, I had found something beautiful that I could give my entire life to, and in turn I would receive their love. That is gone now and I have nothing.

Thanks for listening. Please pray for me. I will also post on the prayer intentions forum.
 
chipeto said:
Dear friends, it has been a long time since I’ve posted here, and much has happened. I really need your prayers.

The landlord has agreed to start a new, early lease with W. So, I am out of this place at the end of June. W will get roommates. That is all wonderful, in fact, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. The plan was that I would get a place closer to my girlfriend so that we could spend more time together.

However, my girlfriend broke up with me today. She was very compassionate about it, but the bottom line is that she feels like we are at different levels, namely that I am in this transition stage where I am trying to build my life anew, with God and with other people. There are ways she wants me to be that I am not, at least not yet, and she doesn’t feel like we are at the right places in our lives to make this work. She is afraid that she is controlling me, and she wants me to be free to grow. These are more or less her words. I didn’t try to talk her out of it, because I know that doesn’t work. She said that maybe in the future, when I have made these transitions, we could try again. I probably don’t have to tell you how easy it is for me to pin all my hopes on that! I told her that I love her and want her to be happy. There was no rancor; I really do love and cherish her, even when that means letting her go. She has such a beautiful heart.

But I am in such pain. We had something really beautiful together, something you just don’t find everyday. We had so many plans for marriage and family, and the happy, holy home we would make together. And I really love her beautiful ten year-old daughter, whom I had to say goodbye to today. I tried not to cry, but the tears flowed freely as I hugged that little girl and she said ‘I love you’. Then I carried the things that I had at her place down to my car and drove home.

I don’t know what to do now. The old thoughts of desolation and despair flit through my mind. I know that God has raised me from the dead once before, as I’ve chronicled in this thread. I pray that he does so again, but my faith is lacking. I wish I could find some consolation. I wish I could just abide in God and not be troubled about anything, but I’m not there yet. Or, I wish that God would just take me home. With this woman and her daughter, I had found something beautiful that I could give my entire life to, and in turn I would receive their love. That is gone now and I have nothing.

Thanks for listening. Please pray for me. I will also post on the prayer intentions forum.
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Hi Chip. I was just thinking of you today, and wondering how things were going. I am sorry to hear about what happened between you and your girlfriend, but I am happy to hear that you are moving out, and starting life anew.

I know you are broken hearted, but I pray that you see that this is the perfect opportunity to go after those things you dreamed of, but thought they were impossible. In short, if you dreamed of living in Hawaii or England, then this is the perfect time to pick up and move to your dream home. Also, one thing I’ve learned in this life is that you are what you tell yourself. Everyday affirm all those things you would like to be as if they have already come to pass. Visualize yourself as already having achieved the things you want.

You may want to start your new life by reassessing where you are, and where you’d like to be, and draw out a written plan of how to get where you want to be. You work in tech, and I trust that where ever you decide you’d like to live, you will find a great job, and be able to move to the place of your dreams.

I know that this is all easier said than done, but an even greater life awaits you, you just have to step out the door into your fantastic future. Do it Chip! Walk out into your wonderful future!

Heavenly Father, You have brought Chip to this amazing stage of his life. Thank You Father for bringing so many wonderful and amazing events into Chip’s life. Thank You Father for helping Chip move boldly into his amazing future. Thank You Father for continuing to bless Chip with amazing and wonderful people in his life. Thank You Father for guiding Chip into that life that he has always dreamed of! Amen!
 
chipeto said:
Dear friends, it has been a long time since I’ve posted here, and much has happened. I really need your prayers.

The landlord has agreed to start a new, early lease with W. So, I am out of this place at the end of June. W will get roommates. That is all wonderful, in fact, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome. The plan was that I would get a place closer to my girlfriend so that we could spend more time together.

However, my girlfriend broke up with me today. She was very compassionate about it, but the bottom line is that she feels like we are at different levels, namely that I am in this transition stage where I am trying to build my life anew, with God and with other people. There are ways she wants me to be that I am not, at least not yet, and she doesn’t feel like we are at the right places in our lives to make this work. She is afraid that she is controlling me, and she wants me to be free to grow. These are more or less her words. I didn’t try to talk her out of it, because I know that doesn’t work. She said that maybe in the future, when I have made these transitions, we could try again. I probably don’t have to tell you how easy it is for me to pin all my hopes on that! I told her that I love her and want her to be happy. There was no rancor; I really do love and cherish her, even when that means letting her go. She has such a beautiful heart.

But I am in such pain. We had something really beautiful together, something you just don’t find everyday. We had so many plans for marriage and family, and the happy, holy home we would make together. And I really love her beautiful ten year-old daughter, whom I had to say goodbye to today. I tried not to cry, but the tears flowed freely as I hugged that little girl and she said ‘I love you’. Then I carried the things that I had at her place down to my car and drove home.

I don’t know what to do now. The old thoughts of desolation and despair flit through my mind. I know that God has raised me from the dead once before, as I’ve chronicled in this thread. I pray that he does so again, but my faith is lacking. I wish I could find some consolation. I wish I could just abide in God and not be troubled about anything, but I’m not there yet. Or, I wish that God would just take me home. With this woman and her daughter, I had found something beautiful that I could give my entire life to, and in turn I would receive their love. That is gone now and I have nothing.

Thanks for listening. Please pray for me. I will also post on the prayer intentions forum.
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Thank you for the update. I have wondered many times how you were doing. I am happy to hear that you will be extricating your life from that of W. But I am sad that you got involved with someone else in the meantime. Please do not involve yourself with another woman with a child again! It is wrong to do that. You broke her daughter’s heart, even if it wasn’t your choice to do so. Your girlfriend is right, you need to finish your business with W. and not seek out the comfort of another woman until that is sorted out. I take it you were staying with your girlfriend part time, since you had to move your things out of her house.

Go to confession, Chipeto. Talk to your priest. Go to Mass. Concentrate on your own life, don’t seek comfort from a female. It’s on you now. You can do it.
 
NiceMimi said:
I know you are broken hearted, but I pray that you see that this is the perfect opportunity to go after those things you dreamed of, but thought they were impossible. In short, if you dreamed of living in Hawaii or England, then this is the perfect time to pick up and move to your dream home.
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Thanks for the encouragement Mimi, but I have no interest in those things. I only dream of having a happy family. Where I live is of no importance compared to that. And I do have a hope that God will revive this relationship.
TheRealJuliane said:
Thank you for the update. I have wondered many times how you were doing. I am happy to hear that you will be extricating your life from that of W. But I am sad that you got involved with someone else in the meantime. Please do not involve yourself with another woman with a child again! It is wrong to do that. You broke her daughter’s heart, even if it wasn’t your choice to do so. Your girlfriend is right, you need to finish your business with W. and not seek out the comfort of another woman until that is sorted out. I take it you were staying with your girlfriend part time, since you had to move your things out of her house.

Go to confession, Chipeto. Talk to your priest. Go to Mass. Concentrate on your own life, don’t seek comfort from a female. It’s on you now. You can do it.
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Why is it wrong to date a woman who has a child? I was not living with her, nor did we have a sexual relationship; I only had some books there. The daughter is stronger than I am, I think, she did not cry and she and her mother will be fine with each other and their close-knit extended family, not to mention many friends. I don’t have that support system.

We had the same desires for our lives. We had the same views on everything important: family, faith, prayer, children. We always said that our hearts spoke to each other. I feel like Job. God gives and he takes away, and I have to find a way to carry on, and to put my trust in Him.
 
chipeto said:
Thanks for the encouragement Mimi, but I have no interest in those things. I only dream of having a happy family. Where I live is of no importance compared to that. And I do have a hope that God will revive this relationship.

Why is it wrong to date a woman who has a child? I was not living with her, nor did we have a sexual relationship; I only had some books there. The daughter is stronger than I am, I think, she did not cry and she and her mother will be fine with each other and their close-knit extended family, not to mention many friends. I don’t have that support system.

We had the same desires for our lives. We had the same views on everything important: family, faith, prayer, children. We always said that our hearts spoke to each other. I feel like Job. God gives and he takes away, and I have to find a way to carry on, and to put my trust in Him.
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If you really love her, why are you letting her go just like that?
 
Mayita30 said:
If you really love her, why are you letting her go just like that?
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What would you suggest? She doesn’t love me the way that I love her. Oh, she said ‘I love you’ plenty of times, she even said it as I was kissing her goodbye for the final time, and she really does mean it, but it is not the same as I feel for her. When I say ‘You are my one and only’, she cannot return the sentiment, for example. What she feels for me is affection, which is why she said that, when I mentioned saying goodbye to her daughter, she hoped that instead I could remain a part of their lives as a friend.

It is my screwed-up life that is the problem. I had thought that she would stand by me during this time of great changes, that I had found the heart-of-my-heart, and for the longest time it seemed like she would. But she no longer believes that that is the right thing to do, and my problems have (I think) diminished her attraction to me, though she always remained affectionate. Which is why she said that perhaps we could try again after some time has passed and I have made the changes I am making, namely: moving out on my own, establishing friendships, etc.

Before all of this happened, we had already made an appointment with our counselor for this Wednesday. I have been thinking of going to it by myself, for closure and counsel. Perhaps I will invite her to come too, via email. When we broke up she did ask me to contact her and let her know that I am alright.
 
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