Difficult Marriages

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Tracy, please please do not leave CAF and do not stop praying the novena. I know that you are hurting and all you want to do is to be happy but meeting up with another man while you are married is NOT the right thing to do. God would NEVER send you a sign like that one. The fruits of prayer would never condone unfaithfulness and no matter how bad your marriage is, you are still married.
In the eyes of God you would not be able to consider dating until you have an anullment. Your marriage needs to be worked out. This novena is to pray for your difficult marriage, not to find another relationship. I am trying to be as charitable as possible here. I know how you feel. My first husband was never really a husband. He did not behave as anything but a single man, with other women and everything. But he was my husband. I lived through hell but did not consider another man… that does not say that I am a better person than you. (so please do not take it that way).
Do you consider that you may not be able to get an anullment so you could never marry in the Church again? Applying for one does not necessarily mean you will be granted one. So this means that you are not able to date until the day the tribunal says yes or no.
Please Tracy, do not meet this man. This is adultery and will lead to nothing but unhappiness. If you do things any other way but God’s way, it will mean disaster.
From a friend in Christ, do not be deceived. This is the work of the devil to convince you that YOU deserve to be happy with a man. We are not owed happiness. All happiness comes from God, not another human being.
Please reconsider. Do not meet up with him or any other man in the future. Work your marriage out one way or another without bringing a third party into it. You will look like the ‘bad’ person which every way you look at it. You left for another man.
Tracy. This is NOT the right thing to do…

And I am saying this as you asked us what we think. We think it is wrong… it will lead to more unhappiness… I cannot stress it enough… it is WRONG
 
And day three for me… my husband and I talked again this morning. It was positive and civil. He loves me, I know. He said he knows I love him and we need to work this out. Our problems seem insurmountable on times, but he left then sent me a message saying,.‘small steps, but progress eh?’
We both want it to work… but we just don’t know how.
How is everyone else going? Still hoping everyone’s marriage turns around and improves… God can do it!
God bless.
 
my husband and I are going through a difficult marriage. I need advise can anyone tell me where I can post it, to get some advise.
thank you,
leslie
 
Leslie, you can start a new thread on the Family forum to ask for advice, but join in here and pray the novena with us. We started on Thurs the 13th, but just add two days… You can never pray enough!
And WELCOME to the forums! There’s a lot of wonderful and caring people on here!
 
l35li said:
my husband and I are going through a difficult marriage. I need advise can anyone tell me where I can post it, to get some advise.
thank you,
leslie
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I guess it looks like this is the place. My name is leslie i’ve been married through the court with my husband for the past 4 years. We have three beautiful girls. we are making plans to have the big church wedding this year, I thought we both were really devout catholics going to church every sunday attending all masses on the days of obligation, at times I thought he was more devout than me… tomorrow we are going to our convocation (marriage retreat for married couples>) and today I find him cheating on me with the computer. Needless to say I am devastated, don’t know what to do? can anyone please give me some advise. All the plans have been made for this wedding and as of right now I can’t trust him, I feel betrayed, hurt, disgusted. I can’t even look at him. Help!
 
l35li said:
I guess it looks like this is the place. My name is leslie i’ve been married through the court with my husband for the past 4 years. We have three beautiful girls. we are making plans to have the big church wedding this year, I thought we both were really devout catholics going to church every sunday attending all masses on the days of obligation, at times I thought he was more devout than me… tomorrow we are going to our convocation (marriage retreat for married couples>) and today I find him cheating on me with the computer. Needless to say I am devastated, don’t know what to do? can anyone please give me some advise. All the plans have been made for this wedding and as of right now I can’t trust him, I feel betrayed, hurt, disgusted. I can’t even look at him. Help!
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Leslie, I would copy what you posted here and make a new thread. You are more likely to get more people reading and helping you through this if it was a topic in itself. This one is mainly for all those of us in difficult marriages to pray for each other.
Not to say you can’t post here… just thought it would be more beneficial for you to start a new thread.
I am so sad to hear about your problems. We will pray for you. Infidelity is the most painful and difficult cross to bear.
 
Tracyms1974 said:
Because of this post, I am leaving this prayer novena, and I may not even come back to CAF. I hope you’re happy. Oh wait, lemme guess, you’re deleriously happy because the adulteress is finally gone for good.

C-ya

Tracy
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If you want to blame me for your troubles go right ahead but don’t expect me to lose any sleep over it.

I’ve read another post of yours from 9/3/07 where you blame your husband for not forgiving you for an affair you had and your indignation because you weren’t “doing that” anymore. Well it’s less than 2 weeks later and apparently you are doing exactly that.:rolleyes:

Am I being uncharitable? Maybe so, but your crashing this novena thread and asking people in terrible pain trying to save their marriages what we think of your commiting adultery AGAIN is downright RUDE.

Don’t look for us to justify your adultery for you.:mad:

Hopefully you will see your error and pray the novena.
 
I will pray for you and for your marriage. Remember, all things are possible with God. I’m sure you are very angry with him right now - you have a right to be. Talk to your priest and see what he says.

Praying the novena again today ladies. 🙂 How are we all doing? How many of us are praying?

Vester:byzsoc: :byzsoc:
 
vester444 said:
I will pray for you and for your marriage. Remember, all things are possible with God. I’m sure you are very angry with him right now - you have a right to be. Talk to your priest and see what he says.

Praying the novena again today ladies. 🙂 How are we all doing? How many of us are praying?

Vester:byzsoc: :byzsoc:
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My wife would be really shocked if I were a lady:eek:
 
You know, I was sceptical that a novena would even do anything. I wasn’t brought up Catholic and I guess I never got into praying to anybody other than God. But, I have to admit, there have been improvments in my marraige since I started the novena.🙂
 
Jules,
I am so happy that you and your husband are starting to work things out. Small steps toward one goal. You both want your marriage to work and that is definitely on the right track. Well, I on the other hand, am not as blessed yet. My husband stated he does not want to go to counseling. But he also said he is torn, part of him wants to work on this and thinks we could work it out and other parts say that he should continue to walk away. I am meeting with the priest on Monday for some continued spiritual guidance. I asked my husband about the part that may want to work it out and he said he would “think” then about counseling. His last email stated he is putting himself first because he was on the back burner for a long, long time, behind our children. We talked last Thursday and just talked about how the kids are doing? Talked about his job, I said we used to just sit and talk. I said funny how life goes and he said you never know what the future may hold, he hugged me goodbye. We shall see what person drops off the kids on Sunday. I am going to pray the novena you posted and will continue to keep my faith in God. God bless you on your journey and continue to make progress toward reconciliation.
 
Tracy,

You seem to feel that the church is never going to forgive you because of your past, and that’s false. You seem to feel that there’s no use in trying to live a moral life now, because you think your past has “doomed” you. The truth is, nobody is “doomed” because of their past!

The only reason why members of this forum are harsh is because you aren’t acting like you’re willing to turn your life around. If you’re sorry for any mistakes you’ve made in the past, and if you decide to try harder in the future, then nobody will hold your past sins against you!

You don’t have to take my word for it…it’s in the Mass readings this Sunday:
  • Code: 
      “A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father,
‘Father give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’
So the father divided the property between them.
After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings
and set off to a distant country
where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation.
When he had freely spent everything,
a severe famine struck that country,
and he found himself in dire need.
So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens
who sent him to his farm to tend the swine.
And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed,
but nobody gave him any.
Coming to his senses he thought,
‘How many of my father’s hired workers
have more than enough food to eat,
but here am I, dying from hunger.
I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him,
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
I no longer deserve to be called your son;
treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.”’
So he got up and went back to his father.
While he was still a long way off,
his father caught sight of him,
and was filled with compassion.
He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.
His son said to him,
‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you;
I no longer deserve to be called your son.’
But his father ordered his servants,
‘Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him;
put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.
Take the fattened calf and slaughter it.
Then let us celebrate with a feast,
because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again;
he was lost, and has been found.’
Then the celebration began. *
Tracyms1974 said:
Because of this post, I am leaving this prayer novena, and I may not even come back to CAF. I hope you’re happy. Oh wait, lemme guess, you’re deleriously happy because the adulteress is finally gone for good.

C-ya

Tracy
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Day 2 of the novena and my strenght in God is overwhelming. I pray for my husband that Jesus will carry him through this rough time. I am dedicated to persevere. God bless all of our marriages.
Amen
 
iamrefreshed: SORRY!!!:eek: didnt mean to insult your masculinity ! hehe!

How is everyone doing!?!?! :byzsoc:
 
vester444 said:
iamrefreshed: SORRY!!!:eek: didnt mean to insult your masculinity ! hehe!

How is everyone doing!?!?! :byzsoc:
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If lady is the worst thing I’m ever called I’ll consider myself lucky;)

Since the novena started I’ve been having an extra hard time. Almost no sleep last two nights. But this morning I think I have finally understood that my “letting go” or “giving it to God” is the only thing that is going to heal us. I’ve been carrying this around for well over a year now and the weight just increased daily. I’m not strong enough, He has to take it away from me.

Dear Lord, help me carry my cross, let me lean on You, ease this burden.
 
iamrefreshed: I am so sorry to hear of your extra burden. I do not know what you are going through, but I am praying extra hard for you in particular. 🙂 I feel blessed that I do not have such severe problems - and so I will make an extra effort to pray for you during my novena.

Vester
 
I continue the novena and at times feel that my marriage is hopeless. We don’t discuss the issues, but ignore them due to my dh’s anger or lack of understanding of it. Please continue to pray for my marriage. I hope we can work things out. I would never get a divorce, but I would love my prayer for a happy and holy marriage answered some day. I want our family to like the Holy Family.
 
Nana - if communication is the problem - perhaps cousneling would work for you both? I think that a lot of Catholic churches have counseling available? Or you could find a Catholic counselor? Praying fo ryou…

vester
 
I am a newly wed. Very happily married and I thank God for that everyday!! We have a small daughter and we have our moments when life is not the fairy tale we had hoped for. I read a very good book that helps me see what love is and how to nourish it. This book has stories of marriages that seemed hopeless and have turned around totally. It is called The Five Love Languages. I cannot rememeber the author but I am sure that you can Google it or something. If you don’t mind me asking, what has caused some of these issues or problems???

God Bless

Stewart

Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our biggest fear is that we a powerful beyond measure!!!
 
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