Difficult Marriages

[Linnyo]

i’m sorry everyone - I have lost the momentum and have been really struggling to keep going. I feel really sad and my marraige has not been good. I feel like I am banging my head off a brick wall. It is just soo hard to pray when I feel like this
Thing is, we have financial stresses as my husband has been drinking the housekeeping money. I have been anxious and angry and I feel like I might explode…again I am going to the doc tomorrow as I think I am depressed again. I need your prayers. Thankyou.

 

[cecilia97]

Linnyo, if you can’t pray we’ll just have to pray for you. Take care of yourself and hope the doc appt goes well.

c

 

[nana3]

i’m sorry everyone - I have lost the momentum and have been really struggling to keep going. I feel really sad and my marraige has not been good. I feel like I am banging my head off a brick wall. It is just soo hard to pray when I feel like this
Thing is, we have financial stresses as my husband has been drinking the housekeeping money. I have been anxious and angry and I feel like I might explode…again I am going to the doc tomorrow as I think I am depressed again. I need your prayers. Thankyou.

We certainly will pray for you. If you can’t seem to pray, as I have at times also, just say one little sentence that is in itself a prayer, “Jesus, help me.” He will help you Linnyo. Keeping you in prayer tonight and hope that the doctors will help too.

Blessed Mother please hold Linnyo in your loving Motherly arms tonight. Amen.

 

[nana3]

Hi All,
I am in for the Saint Rita novena too!! I am having problems in my marriage too. I believe the enemy is trying to destroy where he sees happiness!!! Let’s not let him!!!

I know this might sound petty. Or maybe I am just not considerate with my husband (which I do try to be).

But my husband and I just can’t be around each other for too long. I wish he wouldn’t get so angry at me over this but because of his impatience with me and he’s quick to anger when I do something like interrupt him when he’s not done talking. (I don’t even realize I interrupt him until I see how angry he is all of a sudden.) Then I get my feelings hurt because he gets so angry, and then I react in anger when I am hurt because I don’t understand what the big deal is if I accidentally interrupted him. He gets REALLY angry. He will stop talking to be even up to a couple of days. Then I get really depressed because of it. I’ve apologized to him for interrupting and told him I would work on it but then I mess up and do it again and the cycle start over again. There are other things going on with us too, but too many to mention. I pray our Lord helps us change to be slow to anger and more patient. I pray that we can persevere in our marriage. I pray we never forget our vows. We are both craddle Catholics but he is also not very devout to our faith. We need peace in our home. It seems things have been spiraling downward. So I am definitely in so that God can heal all of our marriages.

So it starts tomorrow?

So all we have to do is pray this same novena prayer every day for 9 days? That’s so simply with all the blessing we will get! I believe our Lord will hear us and he will move mountains!!! I am so very in!!!

Novena to Saint Rita,

O holy patroness of those in need, St. Rita, whose pleadings before thy Divine Lord are almost irresistible, who for thy lavishness in granting favours hast been called the Advocate of the hopeless and even of the impossible; St. Rita, so humble, so pure, so mortified, so patient and of such compassionate love for thy Crucified Jesus that thou couldst obtain from Him whatsoever thou askest, on account of which all confidently have recourse to thee expecting, if not always relief, at least comfort; be propitious to our petition, showing thy power with God on behalf of thy suppliant; be lavish to us, as thou hast been in so many wonderful cases, for the greater glory of God, for the spreading of thine own devotion, and for the consolation of those who trust in thee.
We promise, if our petition is granted, to glorify thee
**by making known thy favour, to bless and sing thy **
**praises forever. Relying then upon thy merits and **
**power before the Sacred Heart of Jesus, we pray **
**thee grant that… **

That God may heal and bless all the marriages of these CAF members and that our wills may be perfectly in line with God’s will in our lives and in the life of our spouse

(anyone can add more if they wish)

as soon as God deems fit. Amen.

I know what you mean about the anger. It is so so so hard not to respond back in anger too. I remember have very heated fights with dh were I go to angry that I felt that my blood pressure was too high. Anger is very contagious and when it is in the household, everyone gets it. One responds in anger and so forth. I had to ask the Holy Spirit to give me a calm heart and soul when my dh got too angry. It really worked for me. I did a novena to the Holy Spirit just for that alone.

We are all here for each other and praying for our marriages. I think the Lord will bless us all for it.

 

[Cagrl]

I know what you mean about the anger. It is so so so hard not to respond back in anger too. I remember have very heated fights with dh were I go to angry that I felt that my blood pressure was too high. Anger is very contagious and when it is in the household, everyone gets it. One responds in anger and so forth. I had to ask the Holy Spirit to give me a calm heart and soul when my dh got too angry. It really worked for me. I did a novena to the Holy Spirit just for that alone.

We are all here for each other and praying for our marriages. I think the Lord will bless us all for it.

Yea it is so very hard. I like your idea about the Holy Spirit novena. Do you have it that I can get from you? I would be interested. Thanks for your response and idea.So we’re starting the St. Rita novena tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it and sharing with you all here. St Rita, i think, also had problems with her spouse and his temper so I think she is good to invoke for this being that she dealt with his temper/anger. What do you think?

 

[Cagrl]

Hello All,
Okay. I just prayed my first day of the Novena!!! I’m excited about starting doing this novena!!

How are you is everyone else doing?

 

[nana3]

Yea it is so very hard. I like your idea about the Holy Spirit novena. Do you have it that I can get from you? I would be interested. Thanks for your response and idea.So we’re starting the St. Rita novena tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it and sharing with you all here. St Rita, i think, also had problems with her spouse and his temper so I think she is good to invoke for this being that she dealt with his temper/anger. What do you think?

I agree. St. Rita is perfect for those whose husband have a temper. She did have to deal with it. She helped in the conversion of her husband.

Here is a Novena to the Holy Spirit by EWTN;
ewtn.com/devotionals/pentecost/seven.htm

I just prayed day one of the Novena to St. Rita.

 

[jules11]

Hi Everyone, I have to start the novena today, a day after you all. I had problems with my computer and could not open any pages at all…but that’s ok.
My marriage continues to improve. We have communicated better than we ever have. We are setting a goal for 6 months for us to reconcile. In that time we both need to be able to sort out our problems without the ignoring and game playing. We have had wonderful times in the past, only for them to turn equally as bad, but we are hoping that we will be able to move past that behaviour and learn to resolve conflict. It’s far from resolved but much much better! We are going out for a romantic dinner for our anniversary tonight. We have laughed together so much in the last couple of weeks. I now remember all the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.
Prayer works everyone! Please don’t give up, we will all pray for miracles in our lives.

 

[cecilia97]

Hi Everyone, I have to start the novena today, a day after you all. I had problems with my computer and could not open any pages at all…but that’s ok.
My marriage continues to improve. We have communicated better than we ever have. We are setting a goal for 6 months for us to reconcile. In that time we both need to be able to sort out our problems without the ignoring and game playing. We have had wonderful times in the past, only for them to turn equally as bad, but we are hoping that we will be able to move past that behaviour and learn to resolve conflict. It’s far from resolved but much much better! We are going out for a romantic dinner for our anniversary tonight. We have laughed together so much in the last couple of weeks. I now remember all the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.
Prayer works everyone! Please don’t give up, we will all pray for miracles in our lives.

Thanks be to God!! That is all great news, Jules.

I’m also a day behind, good to have company.

 

[Cagrl]

I agree. St. Rita is perfect for those whose husband have a temper. She did have to deal with it. She helped in the conversion of her husband.

Here is a Novena to the Holy Spirit by EWTN;
ewtn.com/devotionals/pentecost/seven.htm

I just prayed day one of the Novena to St. Rita.

Thank you very much for the link to the Holy Spirit Novena! I am thinking of doing that novena after this one. If anyone is interested in joining maybe we can do that one after.

I prayed day 2 of the Saint Rita today too!

 

[andreach]

I’d like to post. I posted on a long thread about St. Monica as well. I just joined CA today. My dh was baptized Catholic but his mom is in a mixed marriage (w/ an Episcopalian) and her mom was Episcopalian. Thus, there is some heresy (for lack of a better word) going thru the family. For example, denial of the Real Presence, etc. Anyway, my husband is upset that he is married to an orthodox Catholic. He feels gypped. I do admit that I reverted in a big way 10.5 years ago when I realized my error of contraception and premarital sex. Yes, that changed me. That conversion experience has changed my whole life, especially my priorities. For a little while, he went along w/ things, but since we’ve had some financial problems, he seems to feel like he’s being punished or something and seems angry w/ God. He hasn’t gotten a vasectomy, but would be happy if I contracepted. I would love to have another baby (we have 3 girls) but we do lack resources and I am working some. Anyway, we are at odds and I don’t wish to be…he threatened not to ever go to Mass again today if he couldn’t take the kids back to the parish we used to belong to (had a very bad experience there, as I used to work for the school there. Long story.) I now go to a quite traditional parish, and I take the kids. I am “allowing” him to take the kids this weekend and I’m going to a Extraordinary form Mass. Anyway, that’s where I am…thanks for opening up the thread.

Oh-he refused Retrouville, Marriage Encounter, etc.

Andrea

 

[cecilia97]

I’d like to post. I posted on a long thread about St. Monica as well. I just joined CA today. My dh was baptized Catholic but his mom is in a mixed marriage (w/ an Episcopalian) and her mom was Episcopalian. Thus, there is some heresy (for lack of a better word) going thru the family. For example, denial of the Real Presence, etc. Anyway, my husband is upset that he is married to an orthodox Catholic. He feels gypped. I do admit that I reverted in a big way 10.5 years ago when I realized my error of contraception and premarital sex. Yes, that changed me. That conversion experience has changed my whole life, especially my priorities. For a little while, he went along w/ things, but since we’ve had some financial problems, he seems to feel like he’s being punished or something and seems angry w/ God. He hasn’t gotten a vasectomy, but would be happy if I contracepted. I would love to have another baby (we have 3 girls) but we do lack resources and I am working some. Anyway, we are at odds and I don’t wish to be…he threatened not to ever go to Mass again today if he couldn’t take the kids back to the parish we used to belong to (had a very bad experience there, as I used to work for the school there. Long story.) I now go to a quite traditional parish, and I take the kids. I am “allowing” him to take the kids this weekend and I’m going to a Extraordinary form Mass. Anyway, that’s where I am…thanks for opening up the thread.

Oh-he refused Retrouville, Marriage Encounter, etc.

Andrea

Andrea, I’d say St. Monica is your gal. Maybe your hubby is at a crossroads right now and is just trying to fight the changes he sees happening?

Welcome to the St. Rita novena, please pray with us and we will pray for you! It’s very comforting and we’re seeing some amazing stories.

 

[kmc404]

Jules11
I am so glad that everything in your marriage seems to be working for the better God works in strange ways. God bless you and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Kristen

 

[Cagrl]

Jules11,
I am glad to hear your marriage is improving. May God bless you and it continues!!! That is really good news!!!

andreach,
Welcome to Saint Rita forum!!!

Just prayed day 3 of the Saint Rita Novena!!

Just an update: my husband and I are still the same. Things have not improved. We continue to argue or get mad at each other over what I think are petty things. I am really trying to ignore his attitude but it’s so hard when he’s being so rude, distant, or critical. He seems very edgy and he is nitpicking at everything. We are in the middle of buying a little fixer-upper house right now. Could that be why? Do people really stress during times like this? I don’t feel stressed but he is on edge. Is it worth it? Have any of you experience this? I think to myself that if it’s going to be like this, I rather not have a house and just stay the way we are for the sake of peace. I had a break down last night and cried so much. I am really depressed. Our situation doesn’t seem to be improving and I am really afraid things are going to get worse. I don’t know if it’s the house reason or if he is just going through something. All I know is he is nitpicking and distant. I don’t even want to be home when he’s home. I fill like leaving for couple days just to have some peace but I know that is not the right thing to do. I went to visit our Lord in the Blessed Sacramento to try to get away have some peace and that was nice but as soon as I got home my husband started again. But the thing is, he is blaming me for these arguments. I don’t really understand what is going on. Have you ever felt like you can’t do it any more, like you are just to tired and depressed and weak and you just can’t do it any more? Well, that’s how I feel. I feel I don’t have the strength to carry this cross any more. I ask our Lord to help me because I am weak and tired and I can’t do it alone. I need some type of relief in my situation. It is affecting my daughter too. Things just have gotten so bad around here. He didn’t even sleep in our bed last night. He slept on the couch. This is just crazy. I am really sad.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Thank you for being such good friends on here. May God be with each of you today and always.

 

[sandraladeda]

I am going to start both novenas, have printed them both off.

but why, oh why, does there always have to be a catch -

Novena to St. Rita - “as soon as God deems fit”…

 

[authentic]

I am asking for prayers for God’s will in my marriage. My husband and I have been married for just about a year and it has been a difficult year for the both of us. I have wanted to leave the marriage many times but am always reminded of my vows and what they mean to me. I’m scared and afraid. My husband told me yesterday that he is leaving me. I was in search for a novena to save my marriage and came across the website. Please do pray for God’s will in my life. I came across a novena to St. Josemaria Escriva that many people have said has helped them with their marriages. I am going to start that today as well as the novena to St. Rita.

Thank you for praying and I will pray for each of you as well.

 

[kmc404]

Cagrl
I do understand the distant part of your relationship. My husband is distant as well, physically and emotionally. We have been seperated now for 8 weeks, I have no answer though to your question. Maybe it is depression. When people are depressed they do look at only negatives. Have you tried any counseling together? My counselor told me to be the hope, but I too am growing tired and weak of trying to be so strong, and yes I do sometimes want it all to end. My life 8 weeks ago seemed just fine and then this happened, seemed like out of the blue to me. I now focus on the positives of our relationship and that is not what my husband is focusing on only the negatives. I will pray for you in your mariage and try to continue to be strong for you and your family. Have you tried to maybe surprise him with something nice? Possibly lift his spirits. Maybe a weekend away just you and him? A love note to say hello, a special something just for him. I don’t know these are only suggestions. God Bless.
Kristen

 

[FSHSM1968]

I wanted to start a thread for all those who are having difficulties in their marriages, (or those who are not who would like to pray for those of us who are) so we could all support each other with prayer and encouragement when things are really tough.
Maybe we could pray novena’s together as they are more efficacious when theres’s a few of us petitioning God…I know there are a few people on here struggling and we all need all the prayer we can get.
What do you think?

Hello everyone and may God bless each and every one of you.
I am going trough a difficult time in my marriage right now. I have been married for over 6 years. Both my wife and I are Catholic but I am a believer and she has no faith.We never pray together as she says " that is something you do " . Sometimes I feel that I should not have married someone that does not have the same belief’s that I do (you know what I mean ).
Before we were married a problem arose that we could not use contraception, she was not happy about it but agreed. All was well until after the birth of our first child. She did not want another child for a while but instead of discussing it with me she just shut me off physically. I complained but months went by and there were few and far relations with each other. But she got pregnant again in a time period that she was sure she could not. We had a beautiful baby but the child had Down Syndrome. Now that she was breast feeding relations were painful and so she said she did not want any relations until she finneshed nursing which would be a year . But this was only after I brought up the issue as I felt that
she was pushing me away. Now the year and the nursing are up and it is the same old story for about three years. She acts as if nothing is wrong and will never bring the subject up until I do and now she says that she does not want anymore children and says our relations would be fine if we used contraception. There has been no natural reltions between us for about three years and it realy hurts. I would say that only because I pushed for them( which is degrading ) our second child would not have born . I feel very stressed out over this as I feel my wife does not want me and I feel used. Thank You for listing. John.

 

[Cagrl]

I am going to start both novenas, have printed them both off.

but why, oh why, does there always have to be a catch -

Novena to St. Rita - “as soon as God deems fit”…

Are you going to start the Holy Spirit one today also? Is that the one you’re referring to? If so, I will start it with you. Let me know that way we can encourage each other along the way.

God Bless

 

[Cagrl]

I am asking for prayers for God’s will in my marriage. My husband and I have been married for just about a year and it has been a difficult year for the both of us. I have wanted to leave the marriage many times but am always reminded of my vows and what they mean to me. I’m scared and afraid. My husband told me yesterday that he is leaving me. I was in search for a novena to save my marriage and came across the website. Please do pray for God’s will in my life. I came across a novena to St. Josemaria Escriva that many people have said has helped them with their marriages. I am going to start that today as well as the novena to St. Rita.

Thank you for praying and I will pray for each of you as well.

Hang in there. I know it can be very, very tough. I have felt the same way but also remind myself of my vows. Pray for your marriage as you are doing and we will pray for you. Pray for us too.

God bless you and your marriage.