Disillusioned by the world

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flyingfish said:
I didn’t mean it about you specifically, just a general person who would be upset by how girls dress and talk. It could apply to you, but I didn’t mean to be demeaning and I’m honestly trying to understand.

What goes through your head if you’re around girls in mini skirts/ tops that show cleavage (or whatever is sexual) and are talking about sex? Why does it make you upset? Do their conversations turn you on and you don’t like feeling that way because you think it’s a sin? I’m just curious.
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No no, its not a sexual frustration haha! 😃

I think dressing immodestly is wrong, but it annoys me because. Well, without sounding like I am this magnificent upholder of morals, it degrades women! I literally have a heavy heart when I see attractive girls who lower themselves and dress like that. Its as if they aren’t good enough for the world. They expose themselves. For fleeting and shallow attention. I am a man, and I have had thoughts run through my head, I can only imagine what others think. And trust me I have heard what men say. And it is disgusting. I am not saying every girl has something missing and “she just wants love” or whatever, but yeah. Its just my opinion and view!
I don’t get turned on by a conversation about sex (whether or not they are in short skirts or not) because I am not 15 😛 I think its just sad. Behind every moral standpoint there is a practical and emotional consideration.
 
Flyingfish, in turn I will admit I don’t find it that great when people (i.e. in my case, women) sexy it up without any potential long-term interest. I’m not interested in a quick fix, be it a one-night stand or even just a “juicy” conversation, it is demeaning to be used that way and yes, it sometimes results in frustration when I’m attracted to a woman and, say, she isn’t interested in anything serious but is interested in flirting and sexually charged conversations (if it stops at words). Want not, waste not. If she doesn’t want me, then let her leave my biology alone. And yes, frustration is a word that fits.
 
I’m just trying to understand why people get so worked up about the sexual conduct of others. I kind of understand but I kind of don’t. When I was Catholic and following the rules, I did end up being very disgusted with sexual displays generally, but still I don’t remember being upset about what others did.
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FF, you are correct… all sin degrades society. Makes it a less honest place, deprives people of the real income from their honest efforts (downloading music, movies, etc.), and coarsens society. Bad things, all. But they don’t provoke the same reaction. You are correct. Why not?

Because on a very deep level we understand that when you are dealing with sex, you are dealing with the foundations of the creation of human life. The stakes are much higher than dollars and cents. You are treading on literally sacred ground… that meeting between God and a man and a woman where a new soul is created. Instinctively, even those who claim vocally not to believe it is significant at all know that THIS IS SPECIAL. THIS IS SERIOUS. It’s a primitive and basic understanding that the activities surrounding sex have the deepest meaning for the human person and it is not the same as playing basketball or having a drink with friends. So when the strictures God put around the act are compromised or violated and it is treated by people like it has as much significance as playing a round of poker or driving down to the corner store for a loaf of bread, most everyone recoils.

It’s the same as watching a team of thugs go beat up an old lady. It might not be YOUR grandmother, but on a very basic human level it is JUST WRONG and watching it evokes a very strong reaction.

As society has begun to strip away all these protections around sex, it strips away the very protections surrounding human life at its most vulnerable. Then we have contraception, abortion, genome testing, test tube technology, sex selection… the sacredness of the act is stripped away and the product of the act loses its sacredness too.
 
And for those who like to sexy it up… I tell my daughters all the time, “Any outfit that makes anyone look at anything but your face for any length of time is a fashion fail.”

Sadly young women don’t understand that a man who isn’t looking at her face and into her eyes isn’t seeing HER. He’s seeing body parts and objects.

😦
 
Liberanos, out there there are enough actual choices to overshadow mere fails.
 
Well, I´m disillusioned by the world too

Last week I was reading again the glosses of a great writer, oh, how right he is, speaks from the last century and still his writings are relevant, more relevant than before, I think

Is “hard” to find Catholic people outside of my family and the old people in the Church, yes, there is a lot of Catholics where I live, but devout Catholics? not much

And the people in my CATHOLIC University?

We have teachers which I don’t know what are they doing there, and the people?

“good people”, but not so good Catholics, and the people who have the same interest, hobbies with me, is agnostic, new ager or cafeteria Catholics

Happy Resurrection Easter!!!

Blessings!!!

:):)🙂
 
*It is comforting to come here for some relief, to know I’m not crazy. I can’t believe men who ask out married women:mad: and think nothing of it…I can’t believe that as a Christian, in my running group, I am treated ‘‘differently,’’ and sometimes feel like I don’t fit in simply because of my faith. (getting to know a few, and we get to talking about life, morals, religion) I’m disillusioned…but, I know Christ is here, very close, to us…and I pray for those who do not yet know Him, or ridicule Him. It is so very hard though to not be angry with people who treat Christians in a bad light…😦

To chev–you are right…women who dress sexy to spur on reactions from men, and want nothing serious with them…best to run for the hills. *
 
Liber, good posts! Explained exactly what I felt.

Whatevergirl its good to know you can come here for some relief 👍 I do it all the time 😃

CeaserAugustus it would be interesting to know what catholic university you go to? I have been looking them up to do some post-grad studies and I wanna choose the right one 🙂

A little story about the whole dressing thing, I find it quite funny now (although still gets me going too! ) 😛

My ex was quite immodest in dress. And I couldn’t stand it, but I got used to it because I though well what can I do maybe girls just dress this way and thats that. Anyway, she knew I struggled with it. Her favourite “joke” to play was to take out one of her mini skirts, and I would say wow thats short, and her reply would be about how she never wears underwear with that one, or how that one always flashes people. And then about a day later say she was joking. Yes, funny jokes indeed. 👍
 
whatevergirl said:
*To chev–you are right…women who dress sexy to spur on reactions from men, and want nothing serious with them…best to run for the hills. *
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In theory, but how many of better Christians and better people than I am would I be crossing out if I were to make it a complete deal-breaker?
NewsTheMan said:
My ex was quite immodest in dress. And I couldn’t stand it, but I got used to it because I though well what can I do maybe girls just dress this way and thats that. Anyway, she knew I struggled with it. Her favourite “joke” to play was to take out one of her mini skirts, and I would say wow thats short, and her reply would be about how she never wears underwear with that one, or how that one always flashes people. And then about a day later say she was joking. Yes, funny jokes indeed. 👍
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Say two words: never again. Pray for her because she needs it (this is not an opinion on her soul, but a view shown in it is a spiritual danger to anyone holding it), but don’t allow a woman to talk to you like that. There is such a thing as a lady’s honour and we rarely talk about that one, which precludes talking to her in a certain way, but there’s also a gentleman’s honour and that is one of the rare instances where it simply must pose a border.

I believe those are possibly not even any real conscious acts conveyed in words, but a sorry state of sexual addiction in which so many women today are. I try to take it as a natural expression of a need in which they are and it is a natural need, especially considering that many of them are already in marriage age, sometimes several or more years into it and yet their lives, in their turbulent courses, have not afforded them a husband. Poor souls can’t contain it and, not having a strong formation or simply being given example from the world, they do not know to speak of it with more decorum and to place it in the context of seeking, finding and starting marriage. If you look at it this way, it’s impossible to spurn them. Yet they have a long way to make.
 
Chev, you help out a lot, thanks dude, appreciate it! Sometimes I wonder what and IF I was doing anything wrong in my old relationship. Its a hard time being a man, because I can never admit that I was the one being taken advantage of and I was the one who suffered and in some sense my status as a man and a boyfriend was abused. Typically, men just can’t admit to these things. Not only that, but one can never claim it because its always “Oh but she’s a woman” as if women aren’t ever the ones in a relationship that do and say selfish things. :mad:

This weekend I have kinda gone back to square one. There’s a big party happening at my university for graduation. A chance to catch up with friends. I thought. No. Wrong. I actually sucked it up and went out, but all my ‘friends’ were ridiculously drunk and rude. I have nothing to say to them anymore almost. They say things like, go get a beer get yourself a personality. And I say well I don’t drink but I wanna party with you guys. Convo over. No drink and its as if you are a freak. And I see everyone having a great time, all happy for graduating and stuff. But its tainted by all the drinking and stuff. And I was out on a jog to clear my mind and I saw my ex with a guy that was presumably her date for the ball and that mixed with everyone asking me “oh I heard about the break up you alright wow I’m shocked wow you okay wow you must be sad” just makes me a little bit unhappy :o

I pray God give me strength. I’m feeling a bit disillusioned 😦
 
NewsTheMan said:
Liber, good posts! Explained exactly what I felt.

Whatevergirl its good to know you can come here for some relief 👍 I do it all the time 😃

CeaserAugustus it would be interesting to know what catholic university you go to? I have been looking them up to do some post-grad studies and I wanna choose the right one 🙂

A little story about the whole dressing thing, I find it quite funny now (although still gets me going too! ) 😛

My ex was quite immodest in dress. And I couldn’t stand it, but I got used to it because I though well what can I do maybe girls just dress this way and thats that. Anyway, she knew I struggled with it. Her favourite “joke” to play was to take out one of her mini skirts, and I would say wow thats short, and her reply would be about how she never wears underwear with that one, or how that one always flashes people. And then about a day later say she was joking. Yes, funny jokes indeed. 👍
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*Thus, she’s your ex…I’m sure there were other factors…but being teased like that, I imagine for a guy, would get very very old. *
 
News, your ex gf is what we’d call a “tease.” And it’s not nice. She gives women a bad name.

She won’t find happiness with the kind of guy that likes to use teases.

In a few months, you will be out in the real world, where ADULTS don’t have time or energy or money to waste on getting plastered all the time. You will find people who can have one beer, eat and talk and be very entertaining. You will find REAL friends.

You might also be interested in knowing how many people really have little to do with MOST of the people they knew in college. You’ve already outgrown them. Maybe they’ll catch up some day if they dry out and get a real life.
 
Chastity.com has some great stuff on modesty and what it is important if anyone is interested 😃

Lib, I wait with baited breath my entering the real world 👍 Why does getting plastered mean more to people than a lovely meal and a movie on a friday night :o I just dont understand anymore!
 
NewsTheMan said:
Lib, I wait with baited breath my entering the real world 👍 Why does getting plastered mean more to people than a lovely meal and a movie on a friday night :o I just dont understand anymore!
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Personally, I am more into a physically exhausting* walk with a mentally and spiritually relaxing conversation.

(* this is very important)
 
chevalier said:
Personally, I am more into a physically exhausting* walk with a mentally and spiritually relaxing conversation.

(* this is very important)
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Or that :rolleyes:, but I work out for an hour a day and thats usually followed by a run so I’m exhuasted as it is 😃
 
NewsTheMan said:
Or that :rolleyes:, but I work out for an hour a day and thats usually followed by a run so I’m exhuasted as it is 😃
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Basically, if someone is willing to make some effort for you, you’ve got a person who cares for you. If giving up any measure of comfort is off-limits, then you’ve got to wonder. This is especially clear when you’re ready always and regardless of anything, while the woman has to have good weather coincide with good mood, while the whole thing doesn’t require any sacrifice of personal plans, “me time”, personal comfort etc. My take is that while being the apple of my eye with all the consequences (if you’ve ever wondered about extremes…), Mrs Chev needs to be a trooper or she won’t survive. A self-motivated desire to spend time with me and certain reluctance to call such time over is well noted and appreciated, as opposed to a tendency towards unilateral decisions on when a meeting (date or otherwise) is over, based on whatever priorities that are apparently more important.

Hmm… now that I say, this is going to be one of the major factors in the New Search Under Revised Rules. Seeing that I am three years shy of 30, it’s time to get things in order.
 
I’m only 18, and I already feel just saddened by just everything. Everything I do just seems to be a sin of some sort. Everything in the world is going horribly. I’m worried about the salvation of others. I don’t even feel like the same person I was a couple years ago, before I knew anything about mortal sin and what not. I don’t want to sin, I just don’t want to be sad and scared anymore. I’m in college, and I should be having fun (not sinful fun, just fun) and it’s hard. I don’t even have any contact with girls, out of fear of lust. I was very reluctant to go to this charity thing at a sorority, because I felt I would do something wrong. I worry whenever I do something that’s fun, because I think, “Well, enjoyable things tend to be bad.”

I thought learning more about my faith would make me calmer and more confident. Instead I feel sadder and afraid.
 
Chev, I totally agree with you.I think! About comfort zones etc. I agree actually one hundred percent.

Again, I had that problem with my ex-girlfriend. Never ever would she come see me, or take the time to do something out of her schedule to see me. And even then, she only ‘let’ me see her when she was in a good mood otherwise apparently I didn’t deserve it. I think the comfort zone thing is partcularly interesting,because I once spent a lot of money and travelled far (on the terrible public transport) to stay with her family and her once because she wanted me to meet them. When I asked the same of her she declined, and actually became very rude about it, and used the excuse that my friends are liars (she had never met them before, so that struck me as insane people talk), and this even though she had her own car that I would’ve payed petrol costs, and I booked her in a 4 star hotel just in case she was awkward staying at my house (she was rich and spoilt with a big house, I was poor) and she still said no. Was a turning point for me in a way.

Speaking of spending time etc, once again I have experienced another thing. She used to work hard during the day, which was good because its her last year in university! And she would tell me how she couldn’t see me because she is busy. I would understand. However, come friday night she would finish work at 5, get drunk stay out till 5am, sleep till 5pm, then watch tv at home and sleep till 11am sunday then work again. And I couldn’t understand why she placed all the going out ahead of me, and felt that I was in the wrong when I complained that I never saw her! Oh well. I think I’ve experienced some of the worst things haha! 🤷

President, it seems like you have some kind of scrupulosity going on there. Relax man. God is peace! I find that you can have fun, just relax, be friendly to all, and with regards to lust… look, your a guy, it can’t be helped. Pray about it, and most of all remember to have respect and look beyond the lust when you’re at a party etc. Funnily enough, when you do that, the hot girls (the ones that have a brain and are decent) will like you 😉

God didn’t set the rules so you’d be unhappy or limited. Opposite in fact! Speak to a priest!
 
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