Divorcing

[dulcissima]

I think that while it is important to remember that God does have a plan for all of us, it is also important to remember that we are human beings and have free will. We think that we have the answers and instead of listening to HIM, we do what we want and interfere with HIS plan. Some people believe that everything that happens is pre-destined and do not believe in free will. My soon to be ex-wife is one of these people. She believes that everything happens for a reason. My response to someone not believing in free will is that if everything was already laid out, what would be the point of praying?

God does have a plan, and we all do have free will. Since God already knows how you choose to use your free will, he can incorporate it into his plan, regardless of whether you coose to go with him or against him. In the end his will will be done. If you choose to act against him, your actions will still ultimately bring about his plan. Think about pharoah. Think about Judas. To me it is completely senseless to act against God. When you consider that in the end his will is what will prevail, where is disobedience going to get you?

 

[cecilia97]

You put him through college? Wow. He repaid you well, huh?

Why not get a small gold cross and have a jeweler fix it onto the cross for a necklace. The man was your cross. This is a good way to memorialize that fact. And a reminder to pray for him.

Don’t waste a diamond, not even a little one.

I think that’s a great idea…I also have a nice rock from my ex, which I later was told I paid for myself since I helped him financially through school and with credit problems. I know I earned the diamond but have not been able to lay eyes on it since the divorce. It’s at the bank now with other things he bought me…other women were always telling me how lucky I was that my husband bought such pretty jewelry. Really, the jewelry started to feel like “hush money” to keep me just happy enough to stick around.

About narcisscism…I you’re worried you might be a narcissist, YOU’RE NOT! Narcissists can’t admit that kind of a fault to themselves. And all humans have some level of narcisscism, it’s natural. Children are actually quite narccicistic until they learn to have empathy for others. Please stop fretting, y’all!

As for my update, I’m doing pretty durn well, thank you very much! I’m seeing a counselor now to work through some everyday type issues, but I mostly feel strong and well. I’m living close to my family, catching up with old friends and making some new ones, going out to see art and hear music and eat some good food. I’m working on rebuilding my business in this new location. I feel so LUCKY to have escaped that man! He has now bought a house with the woman he “didn’t” have an affair with. (I don’t keep tabs on him but someone told me that without me asking). I filed my annulment papers in January and my counselor tells me that was a big part of my recovery to this point. Those papers are painful but they really are like “free” therapy.

I have thought about having my diamond reset but I’m afriad my stomach would turn every time I saw it. Strangely, I’m thining about hanging my wedding portrait in my house. It’s a photo of just me in my gown and I see it and think “that girl had the best of intentions and didn’t do anything wrong, she was hopeful and trusting”. Those are still things I aspire to be. But the diamond…I dunno. I guess it can sit at the bank until I decide.

hugs all around and prayers for everyone,
c

 

[Eliza10]

I have thought about having my diamond reset but I’m afraid my stomach would turn every time I saw it. Strangely, I’m thining about hanging my wedding portrait in my house. It’s a photo of just me in my gown and I see it and think “that girl had the best of intentions and didn’t do anything wrong, she was hopeful and trusting”. Those are still things I aspire to be. But the diamond…I dunno. I guess it can sit at the bank until I decide…

…I havehttp://www.artisanindustrials.com/Images/SunRays.jpg

I have the same sentiments exactly about the diamond and about my wedding photos. For some reason the diamond feels creepy to me, and I feel it would, new setting or not.

I am on an internal cleansing diet and with every day I feel I am getting rid of some of my old life. There is another, longer cleansing diet I will start late in the summer as well. It feels great to be cleansing inside. I’m grateful that finally a time has arrived where I feel I can simply focus on myself long enough to do this for me. The practical apects of this huge change of life have been most demanding. Still I stuggle with the pactical.

Also this summer is big house-cleaning and yard sale. So it will be very fine to have a whole new clean start. But first I must get in the midst of all that old stuff. Next will be to begin the annullment. Pehaps in the winter months. I haven’t felt up to a thorough reviewing of the past, but I know its best not to put it off too long, and, like house cleaning and cleansing, you feel so good when its done. Fresh for the new tomorrow.

http://www.larac.org/images/CCArtists/MangleSilkyWaters400.jpg

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