You are making me feel bad because I’m not even in college lol! I’m studying pre-u psychology (to be fair it’s like a degree but I’m pretty sure it’s not as advanced/not the same amount of content) and after that, if I do well, I can hopefully go to a university and get me degree and hopefully Masters. 99.9% of people my age are studying some sort of pre-u education, be it A Levels or diploma or SATs and so on. If you are confused, I understand. The education system here is different
As of now I’m paying for my fees thanks to financial assistance but I don’t even know if I’ll be able to pay for uni. My school fees as of now is around 2k a year…so not that much…and tuition fees in a university will probably cause me to live in a box
My course is filled by incredibly smart people and I appreciate you trying to make me feel smart but I’m literally the worst student. Not failing, but like definitely the worst (a B student while everyone else is getting high As probably), and I honestly can’t see why. I’ve been putting a lot of effort. Sigh! (Although it would be nice to pray for me since I’ve just submitted a bunch of assignments + tests and more assignments are coming my way very soon)
I know it’s unwise to try to be the greatest, but it would ne nice if I was great at something. I’m the only person I know amongst my family and friends that has no obvious gift besides studying+crying+listening to gospel music 10 mins before an exam paper+having decent enough grades to get into psychology.
My old best friend (still but distanced) was objectively better looking than me. When we went out women seemed to throw themselved at him, and I thought as a youngster “why not me

”
I did have that but to such a lesser number lol…
He was an A+ I just a lowly B+
In life I got to have more D to C+ friends and all of a sudden they would ask me how I am so lucky… and here I though whoa is me.
I got to go to a decent school, take decent and advanced courses. I ignored the stupid people and looked at the smart. If I got a B they got an A whoa is me.
Alll forgetting someone got a C.
Then there is distribution, as we could end up as I did living next door to two guys who became my best friends who seemed to have nailed down the girl getting better than me. So I seemed in my bubble of the world to be the lowest, but the truth was I was the lowest of higher people so how low was I?
Where I grew up was a nice neighborhood, I was poor there, but when I saw the world it turns out I was quite a spoiled rich kid. I was just talking of my old GT Bike which was basically the best bike available outside of somethibg from some unheard of custom shop… I cmhad a couple of cheaper bikes 2 mountain and an old bmx I bought bc it was good but used for $80 and what is $80? Chump change.
All that and in my world I was poor with my PS, Nintendos, segas, cable, thousands of dollars of top of the line baseball equiptment… but in my neighborhood I was poor.
Where I work, in my bubble I am in the bottom 5 paying jobs at a very big place… in my bubble I am poor.
But if I leave this about 1000 people bubble and go toward the entire county, then how poor am I? Well all of a sudden I beat out alot of people. I whine because I couldn’t afford the big SUV, I had to get the small fuel efficient 2015 SUV that starts via satelites… but in my bubble I am poor.
I am pretty smart, statistically.IQ wise, though I never pursued a degree I have aquired some college credits and without trying, never failed any such courses.
I work in a place where most people have graduate degrees… sure some are still not that smart lol, but here I am fairly average. Because in this bubble I am probably around middle to middleish low.
Now go out amoungst the world and statistically I jump to high. But if all I knew was here, I would always think myslef purely middle to middle low.