Don't marry HIM if

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estesbob said:
Dont marry him if he is a Chicago Cubs fan
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That’s right! If theyaren’t for the Cardinals, they aren’t worth squat 😉

I completely agree with the MIL ones… we DID move 12 hours away to survive!!

If the guy will go to the bathroom with the door open while you are visiting, walk out the front door and don’t go back.

If he has no sympathy for tragic events, I’d wonder about him.
 
Don’t marry him if…

…he cheated on someone else to start a relationship with you. You’ll be next.

…you wish you could actually have it all, but this is the one you get. If something seems like it’s missing, it is.

…you have any nagging feeling that something’s not right.

When I was a novice in the convent I kept wishing I could just get married and have children like my friends. When I got married, I kept wishing I could be married to a good Catholic like the couples I saw at church. Now I’m in the process of annulment. You know what God wants for you - it’s in the secret recesses of your heart.
 
Perhaps repeats, but I would be wary if…

He gets easily upset by the time you spend with family and friends.

He demands to know what you’re doing and who you are with at all times.

He treats his mom badly.

He always makes you feel like the bad guy when you get into a fight (i.e. manipulative/passive aggressive).

He refuses to take responsibility for his actions.

His whole world seems to revolve around you (i.e. smothering).

He has ever hit you or threatened you or has been cruel to animals.

He belittles your beliefs or feelings.

He can’t hold down a job.
 
estesbob said:
Dont marry him if he is a Chicago Cubs fan
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I respectfully, yet with half-umbrage, disagree.

A man who is a Chicago Cubs fan is blessed with faith and hope. He has the tenacity to stick with the situation (and you) year, after year, after decade, after decade. He is infinitely patient. He has ability to see that there is always another time, another chance, another day…and just as he hopes for the World Series, he has no problem seeing that someday there will be Heaven, even if Purgatory is actually located in the upper deck of Wrigley Field with a perpetual temperature of 45 degrees outside the park, making it 25 degrees inside Wrigely Field.😃
 
shirleytowers said:
Don’t marry anyone you are dating while having recurring nightmares of snakes and disasters.
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There’s some confusion apparently about this one. Personally, God speaks to me all the time in my dreams. Tornadoes (tornados?) are always my warning sign when I’m wandering far from Him. And it was through a dream that I came back to the Church after 14 years of arrogance and confusion.

I would hesitate to say specific images always have the same meaning for everyone. God knows how to reach each child of His.

Gertie
 
I don’t have anything to add – there is some excellent advice here. And it applies to women as well.

I hope anyone who needs it pays attention.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
I respectfully, yet with half-umbrage, disagree.

A man who is a Chicago Cubs fan is blessed with faith and hope. He has the tenacity to stick with the situation (and you) year, after year, after decade, after decade. He is infinitely patient. He has ability to see that there is always another time, another chance, another day…and just as he hopes for the World Series, he has no problem seeing that someday there will be Heaven, even if Purgatory is actually located in the upper deck of Wrigley Field with a perpetual temperature of 45 degrees outside the park, making it 25 degrees inside Wrigely Field.😃
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Amen! Preach it, honey! 😃
 
Gertabelle said:
Tornadoes (tornados?) are always my warning sign when I’m wandering far from Him.
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Wow! That has been one of my recurring bad dreams. I don’t even live in an area that is prone to tornadoes though. Interestingly, since I’ve separated from my husband, the tornado dream and the being underwater unable to breathe, seeing the surface, but being unable to reach it dream have both gone away.

Interesting that someone else has had tornado dreams.
 
This is so funny! This morning I was just thinking of starting a thread like this! I need all the advice I can get.

Keep it coming!
 
dulcissima said:
… One thing to keep in mind though is that abusers/control freaks are really adept at presenting you with a false and wonderful image at first. It’s only once they know they “have” you that they start to reveal the other side of their personality. Way back when we were in highschool, my husband decided he wanted me. I didn’t even know who he was. He started leaving me anonymous love poems. I found out later that he had actually drawn up a flow chart of how he was going to win me. .
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Oh my goodness. That is scarey.
 
st_ignatius110 said:
Unless of course your family and friends blame him for converting you to the horrible Catholic Church and severely dislike him because of this. Then I say don’t listen to them!
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I have to agree with you there.

Also, don’t marry a man or woman if it will require you to move to a foreign country, after only knowing the person for a few months.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
Don’t marry a man…

…That has an oddity on which you can’t put your finger. Don’t be so desperate. Follow up on the oddity, and see where it takes you. If it’s something mild or just a quirk, that will show. If he’s hiding something big, that will show as well. Until you know for sure, don’t marry him.

.
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Good one.
 
Gertabelle said:
Don’t marry him if…

…he cheated on someone else to start a relationship with you. You’ll be next.
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On behalf of ex-cheaters, allow me to share my story. I was dating another woman when I met the woman who now is my wife. Had she followed this advice, she wouldn’t have married me.

She is not “next.” Marriage is not the same as dating. I never have cheated on my Sweet Girl, and I never will.
 
Snakes and tornadoes … an answer to your questions

Sorry, that is a personal reference stuck in the middle of a bunch of general cautions.

When I was dating my ex husband who turned out to be mentally ill, abusive, manipulative beyond my dreams, and mean as heck, I had these dreams and I remember telling my mother about them.

I had no idea what they might mean and only realized it years after my divorce. I am slow on the uptake I guess.

**Upshot is, if you are having dreams that could be warnings, get away QUICK. **
 
jrabs said:
Ohhh I’ve got one…

Don’t marry ( or date ) a man who makes you cry. My mom told me this and was spot on.
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Yeah, but here’s the corollary: Don’t marry a woman who bursts into tears in the restaurant during your second date because she doesn’t think she’s successfully showing you her “real self.”

Yep. Actual date I once had. Needless to say, there was no third date.
 
What do you guys think about a man who seems otherwise great, but who has made a couple jokes at the expense of a woman he is pursuing?

For example, a guy who jokes that his (thin) girl friend should do some extra exercise after eating sweets. Or a guy who says stuff like, “No, no, you silly girl.”

Are these kinds of comments healthy, affectionate jokes or are they bad news?
 
JezuUfamTobie said:
What do you guys think about a man who seems otherwise great, but who has made a couple jokes at the expense of a woman he is pursuing?

For example, a guy who jokes that his (thin) girl friend should do some extra exercise after eating sweets. Or a guy who says stuff like, “No, no, you silly girl.”

Are these kinds of comments healthy, affectionate jokes or are they bad news?
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I think it’s a bad sign. A man who will put down his girlfriend or make jokes at her expense will do the same with his wife. After awhile it gets very irritating. I’ve seen instances of married couples where the husband does this, and I can see that it hurts his wife, but he is oblivious.
 
JezuUfamTobie said:
What do you guys think about a man who seems otherwise great, but who has made a couple jokes at the expense of a woman he is pursuing?

For example, a guy who jokes that his (thin) girl friend should do some extra exercise after eating sweets. Or a guy who says stuff like, “No, no, you silly girl.”

Are these kinds of comments healthy, affectionate jokes or are they bad news?
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Tough call. A lot might depend on the personalities involved, the situation, etc, but generally it’s best to avoid that stuff. I tease my wife sometimes but never by belittling her. Maybe that’s the difference?
 
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