Don't marry HIM if

[Gertabelle]

On behalf of ex-cheaters, allow me to share my story. I was dating another woman when I met the woman who now is my wife. Had she followed this advice, she wouldn’t have married me.

She is not “next.” Marriage is not the same as dating. I never have cheated on my Sweet Girl, and I never will.

Gamera, I believe there is a HUGE difference between ending a dating relationship to begin another and “cheating” on a girlfriend. In my definition, cheating involves lying and going behind the person’s back.

I stand by my original position. Don’t marry someone who cheated on someone else to start a relationship with you. If he can’t be clean in ending his previous relationships, he can’t be trusted to be clean in the current one. Just my opinion, but I’m certain God is using it to lead me along His path for me.

Bless you and your wife.

Gert

 

[estesbob]

On behalf of ex-cheaters, allow me to share my story. I was dating another woman when I met the woman who now is my wife. Had she followed this advice, she wouldn’t have married me.

She is not “next.” Marriage is not the same as dating. I never have cheated on my Sweet Girl, and I never will.

Ah but remeber the old agage/. A man who leaves his wife to marry his mistress creates an opening in both positions…

 

[estesbob]

I respectfully, yet with half-umbrage, disagree.

A man who is a Chicago Cubs fan is blessed with faith and hope. He has the tenacity to stick with the situation (and you) year, after year, after decade, after decade. He is infinitely patient. He has ability to see that there is always another time, another chance, another day…and just as he hopes for the World Series, he has no problem seeing that someday there will be Heaven, even if Purgatory is actually located in the upper deck of Wrigley Field with a perpetual temperature of 45 degrees outside the park, making it 25 degrees inside Wrigely Field.

A man who is a Chjcago cub fan lives in a fantasy land and will bore his spouse to death telling her why being 25 games back on memorial day is really not a bad thing at all…

 

[Gamera]

Ah but remeber the old agage/. A man who leaves his wife to marry his mistress creates an opening in both positions…

Yeah, very true. But that isn’t what was said above. Rather, the advice was not to marry a man who “cheated on someone else to start a relationship with you.” Marriage wasn’t specified. I cheated on a girlfriend, not a wife, when I met the woman who now is my wife. And she isn’t “next.” That was my point. Sacramental marriage is not the same as a dating relationship. I’ve never cheated on my wife.

 

[Gamera]

Gamera, I believe there is a HUGE difference between ending a dating relationship to begin another and “cheating” on a girlfriend. In my definition, cheating involves lying and going behind the person’s back.

I stand by my original position. Don’t marry someone who cheated on someone else to start a relationship with you. If he can’t be clean in ending his previous relationships, he can’t be trusted to be clean in the current one. Just my opinion, but I’m certain God is using it to lead me along His path for me.

Bless you and your wife.

Gert

Yes, there is a huge difference. I knew exactly what you meant. I did cheat on a girlfriend when I became involved with the woman who now is my wife. And under your advice, my wife shouldn’t have married me.

I’m not saying your advice is wrong in general. My point, though, is that my wife is not “next.” Dating relationships are not equivalent to marriage. Marriage is a sacramental union, not just a romance. I take my vows very seriously.

You’re not wrong to advise people not to marry cheaters. But someone’s gotta represent us ex-cheaters. We’re not all irredeemable.

 

[vince2paul]

Don’t marry him if…

he’s your parish priest
Sorry, can’t help…

 

[Gamera]

Don’t marry him if…

he’s your parish priest
Sorry, can’t help…

On a “non-denominational” board, an anti-Catholic was telling me that she found a certain priest attractive. This is what I told her: “That’s how we get new recruits: handsome priests. We don’t tell them about the whole vow of celibacy thing until they’ve already signed up. Then we say, ‘Oh yeah, about that, our priests all take a vow of lifelong celibacy, but let me introduce you to the leader of our parish singles group, Toothless Joe.’”

 

[Georgess]

Shows how the Davinci code influence, if any , need to be broken - priests represent Fatherhood , Father love and are to be treated with that type of respect-even in our times .

Thank you for bringing it up though, for I was going to post that ( to reinforce what is mentioned in many posts above too ) that if he does not have real love and reverence for The Church , Bl. Mother , Sacraments , then his capacity to be committed and faithful can be in doubt and as one poster mentioned, seduction and the ego excitement that come with it , in the guise of love , is as old as The Garden .

The best preparation in that regard for marriage would be the seekers being prepared first in seeking out the Kingdom - discipline of prayer, study of The Word and the other blessings from our Church ( Rosary -esp. to be protected from predators !) that
they will develop that trust in the God who provides …and provde He does , as in the case of the still fairly peaceful marriages that are arranged by families ( and The Holy Spirit ) ; and as in any sitauion , even when problems rise , get handled through - mercy, prayer, family support and all that .

 

[OldAgeGuru]

A man who is a Chjcago cub fan lives in a fantasy land and will bore his spouse to death telling her why being 25 games back on memorial day is really not a bad thing at all…

By that standard, until 2.5 years ago, no one should have marrried a Red Sox fan
And the cubs aren’t always so bad! That’s my national league team. But my heart and loyalties lay with Theo and Larry.

 

[estesbob]

By that standard, until 2.5 years ago, no one should have marrried a Red Sox fan
And the cubs aren’t always so bad! That’s my national league team. But my heart and loyalties lay with Theo and Larry.

Well I thought it goes with out saying that one should not Marry a red sox Fan!

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Good one.

Don’t marry a man who thinks that strip clubs are fine so long as he only looks but doesn’t touch.

Don’t marry a man who has pushed you or hit you. Never never never. It will only get much worse once you are married.

** Don’t marry a man who says that he “doesn’t believe in tipping.” **

Don’t marry a man who doesn’t pay child support & never sees his kids from a previous marriage but blames it all on his evil ex wife. (LOSER)

Don’t marry a man who thinks that the perfect vacation is a six pack in front of the tv watching sports for a week. (unless you are also a HUGE sports fan - in which case, maybe it’s the perfect match?!) GO BEARS!!!

Don’t marry a man you’ve know less than 6 months.

All good, but I apply the tipping thing to friends of both sexs. It’s no gaurantee but it has served to give me a heads up about the character of the person in question.

 

[February]

Dont marry him if he is a Chicago Cubs fan

Don’t marry him if he’s a White Sox fan (or a Yankee fan for that matter).

Marry a loyal Tiger fan; you know you’ll have somebody loyal to you for life!

 

[maryalene]

Marry a loyal Tiger fan; you know you’ll have somebody loyal to you for life!

LOL, that is so true. Or a Lions fan for that matter. If someone can stick with the Lions and Tigers year after year, they can make it through anything.

 

[jrabs]

Are these kinds of comments healthy, affectionate jokes or are they bad news?

They are bad news in my opinion. Why would someone who loves you belittle you? Just because that is his/her sense of humor? Blah - your best served then finding someone who respects you and makes jokes that are not at your expense.

The lack of respect says a whole lot.

 

[Nordar]

Definately do not marry anyone who is a Yankee fan.

 

[jrabs]

Definately do not marry anyone who is a Yankee fan.

With that in mind, I suggest not marrying anyone who can consistantly place sports ahead of time with you.

 

[JimG]

Yes, there is a huge difference. I knew exactly what you meant. I did cheat on a girlfriend when I became involved with the woman who now is my wife. And under your advice, my wife shouldn’t have married me.

I’m not sure that I would call this “cheating.” That is a relatively recent and different use of the term. I always thought “cheating” meant having an extramarital affair. In this case you had a girlfriend, and met someone else whom you became interested in.

 

[vince2paul]

On a “non-denominational” board, an anti-Catholic was telling me that she found a certain priest attractive. This is what I told her: “That’s how we get new recruits: handsome priests. We don’t tell them about the whole vow of celibacy thing until they’ve already signed up. Then we say, ‘Oh yeah, about that, our priests all take a vow of lifelong celibacy, but let me introduce you to the leader of our parish singles group, Toothless Joe.’”

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

you mean someone like him?
Even Donatella Versace was inspired by him for her latest collection.

 

[anamchara]

These are great posts!

Do not marry a man who has never sat down with you and talked for hours on end about everything and anything! Both your dreams, likes, dislikes, family etc… and you both listen to each other intently and with loving support.

Do not marry a man who doesn’t seem genuinely concerned about your well fare, like when you are sick or having a problem to sort out.

I knew I found the right man when we spent so much time talking and were agreement about Faith, Children, family and politics. And he showed genuine interest in my opinion and had great respect for them!

Do not marry a man who doesn’t make you feel that you are the most beautiful and intelligent women in the world and supports all your dreams

Do not marry a man that is crude and lacks social manners. Marry a man who was taught to be a gentlemen and respectful …my dh has old fashion manners, it’s sweet and romantic.

Nearly 21 yrs of marriage and we are still best friends, he is my soulmate, lover and protector, my sweet knight

I think I’m making myself get misty here

Here’s another tip, marry a nerd hehehe

 

[kevinsgirl]

Don’t marry him if:

You always have to apologize first in an argument.

He hangs the phone up on you frequently.

He asks you to pay for some of the date. If he can’t afford a big date, go have coffee or ice cream!

He isn’t financially independent.

He’s a huge sports fan and you aren’t–and you aren’t willing to make allowances for him.

He only tells you he loves you with his lips…and not with his actions.

This is a fantastic thread…