Eh question

[corvidae]

bella 5110,

I am sorry if you feel people are condemning you.
Many of us are on Catholic Answers in order to provide answers to people struggling with some aspect of their Faith. It seems you are struggling because you have been given misinformation. We have tried to show you from the Catechism and from other priest that you were in fact misinformed, but you refuse to believe because it does not agree with you. I am sorry if you will believe a man, over the Church, because truly, the Church still teaches that it is gravely sinful.
No one here has said you are going to hell, we have encouraged those who struggle with masturbation to continue the struggle and not just give in. Truly I believe that some will choose pleasure over God, and are willing to go to hell for that pleasure.
This is the saying of Pope St. Felix III and is the reason many of us label sin as sin when we see it, rather than just sitting by and saying everything is ok.
“Not to oppose error is to approve it; and not to defend truth is to suppress it; and indeed to neglect to confound evil men, when we can do it, is no less a sin than to encourage them.”- Pope St. Felix II

We are not condemning you or anyone, we are trying to encourage people not to sin.

A lone Raven

p.s. - pray for me a sinner

 

[bella5110]

bella 5110,

I am sorry if you feel people are condemning you.
Many of us are on Catholic Answers in order to provide answers to people struggling with some aspect of their Faith. It seems you are struggling because you have been given misinformation. We have tried to show you from the Catechism and from other priest that you were in fact misinformed, but you refuse to believe because it does not agree with you. I am sorry if you will believe a man, over the Church, because truly, the Church still teaches that it is gravely sinful.
No one here has said you are going to hell, we have encouraged those who struggle with masturbation to continue the struggle and not just give in. Truly I believe that some will choose pleasure over God, and are willing to go to hell for that pleasure.
This is the saying of Pope St. Felix III and is the reason many of us label sin as sin when we see it, rather than just sitting by and saying everything is ok.
“Not to oppose error is to approve it; and not to defend truth is to suppress it; and indeed to neglect to confound evil men, when we can do it, is no less a sin than to encourage them.”- Pope St. Felix II

We are not condemning you or anyone, we are trying to encourage people not to sin.

A lone Raven

p.s. - pray for me a sinner

Corvidae, I really don’t think people are condemning me for what my thoughts are. I don’t take things personal. It’s ok.
Think about it. Perhaps you are right and I have a liberal priest whom I adore. What I think my priest meant was that to seperate a man who remained celibate for awhile, had an urge and masturbated, vs.Hitler who we know was a madman, will Our Lord have time for pettiness? Or have time to cast out evil as it is. They are not the same sin. Masturbation must then be a venial sin. It is not mortal. Make sense? Because I’d hate to see all teenagers going to Hell…

 

[corvidae]

It makes sense, but just because something is not as bad as something else, surely it does not make it a venial sin.

If I murder someone, it is bad, but it is not as bad as murdering two people, am I fine then?

Choosing something that is gravely wrong, with full intent of will, and full knowlege is a Mortal sin. The Church through the Chair of Peter and the Bishops has told us that Masturbation is gravely wrong.

I am not saying your priest is liberal, perhaps he was misinformed as well, I would take the Catechism to him and ask him to explain the passage, perhaps he will change his mind. If he does not, then he is claiming his interpretation over that of the Church. I would guess from your description that he will change his mind.

A lone Raven

 

[bella5110]

It makes sense, but just because something is not as bad as something else, surely it does not make it a venial sin.

If I murder someone, it is bad, but it is not as bad as murdering two people, am I fine then?

Choosing something that is gravely wrong, with full intent of will, and full knowlege is a Mortal sin. The Church through the Chair of Peter and the Bishops has told us that Masturbation is gravely wrong.

I am not saying your priest is liberal, perhaps he was misinformed as well, I would take the Catechism to him and ask him to explain the passage, perhaps he will change his mind. If he does not, then he is claiming his interpretation over that of the Church. I would guess from your description that he will change his mind.

A lone Raven

I made an appointment with my priest within a few days, we always talk for long periods of time. I was probably the one who misunderstood. I will tell you his answers.
I love my priest because he always takes the time to speak with you. Even in church, he’ll come over before Mass and ask if everything is ok. God Bless these priests whose Sacred hands handle Our Lord every day…

 

[mercygate]

I made an appointment with my priest within a few days, we always talk for long periods of time. I was probably the one who misunderstood. I will tell you his answers.
I love my priest because he always takes the time to speak with you. Even in church, he’ll come over before Mass and ask if everything is ok. God Bless these priests whose Sacred hands handle Our Lord every day…

You are very fortunate. The salient point of this discussion lies in the distinction between the **matter, **which is objectively grave, versus the **subjective culpability, **which may be mitigated by various factors. Lemme tellya, a lot of priests do not “get” it. But those who do encourage people in confession to live as best they can, to fight sin whenever tempted, and understand when people return again and again with the same ol’, same ol’ sins. Nearly everybody has a besetting sin – for some it’s masturbation, for me: CA Forums!

 

[MilesXpisti]

Like I said, I don’t think one burns in Hell for eternity from this…the whole world is going to Hell then. I have a more real life attitude toward things in this world. No one is perfect, so stop acting as if you all lead perfect lives here.
And masturbation is NOT a mortal sin when one is celibate and in private WITHOUT porn etc…I have called three people to back me up. One wants to know if you know that MURDER is a mortal sin…hardly to compare it to masturbation. I am done with this thread…my priest told me it isn’t considered a sin anymore as have two others and one lay person, therefore I believe them. And why make a big deal out of it when it doesn’t even apply to me?
God is my judge, He is all I have to answer to. I do not think He would turn away a 14 year old boy, whom I think is natural during puberty to experiment, If this boy should die, so you all need to examine your own consciences please…

Then let this be my first chance to chime in on this. You are wrong. Your sources are wrong. If your priest said what you claim without qualification (mitigating circumstances such as addiction), then he is wrong. I don’t care what you use to justify it, or how out of touch with the secular world that it might seem to you, but you’re wrong. And before you say it, that’s not my opinion; that is the established dogma of the Church. Rome has spoken, the case is ended. Period.

If you wish to live contrary to the Faith, I can’t stop you but you need to understand that morality is not forged by the social norms of society or the consensus of the people in the Church. The Church, through the authority of Christ gives us the rules. We are to obey; not do what our conscience says, not to hash it out in committee. Obey and do no wrong. I hope you come to know the truth of the Faith. You will be in my prayers.

 

[mercygate]

. The Church, through the authority of Christ gives us the rules. We are to obey; not do what our conscience says, not to hash it out in committee. Obey and do no wrong. I hope you come to know the truth of the Faith. You will be in my prayers.

The Church does not expect blind, servile obedience. She offers us every opportunity to form our consciences according to her wisdom. It is not a matter of bashing a herd of truculent malcontents into submission.

 

[AlegreFe]

This is not something I would even are to talk about with others…

He who cast the first stone…

No one here is casting stones at you.

Like I said, I don’t think one burns in Hell for eternity from this…the whole world is going to Hell then.

You might be surprised as to how many people do NOT masturbate. And if they did at one point, you might be surprised as to how many people have actually stopped that grave act after learning that it is indeed a mortal sin.

I have a more real life attitude toward things in this world.

Nothing is more real than having a faithful life that has Jesus Christ as our center than having a “real life” with having the “world” as our center. From the way you’re saying it, your “real life” attitude comes from how the “world” see things as opposed to how God wants us to live our lives.

No one is perfect, so stop acting as if you all lead perfect lives here.

I certainly do not lead a perfect life. We are only talking about sins of the flesh here, mainly masturbation. There are many other mortal sins that one might be committing. And definitely there are a lot of venial sins that we are all committing. I am certainly not innocent. I am a sinner.

 

[AlegreFe]

And masturbation is NOT a mortal sin when one is celibate and in private WITHOUT porn etc

Yes it is. No matter if one has porn in front of them or not, it’s still a mortal sin. When one masturbates they are going against God will to procreate. If John Doe is masterbating all by himself in a room with no porn, there is no way that he can bring forth life. And certianly not the way that God wants to bring forth life; a man and a woman who are married to perform the marital act fully open to each other.

…I have called three people to back me up.

Then I’m sorry to say that they are all misinformed. I’m sure if you present them with bible quotes and CCC paragraphs that we’ve posted here they will understand how it is a mortal sin. Either that or they are in denial.

One wants to know if you know that MURDER is a mortal sin…hardly to compare it to masturbation.

No, you cannot compare murder to masturbation as far as what kind of act it is and what is done physically to someone. But they are both mortal sins in that with both situations, if not repented, one will end up in hell.

I am done with this thread…my priest told me it isn’t considered a sin anymore as have two others and one lay person, therefore I believe them.

You believe them over the Magisterium of the Catholic Church?

And why make a big deal out of it when it doesn’t even apply to me?

No one ever said that it applied to you. I just don’t want you to be misinformed and therefore spread this misinformation in case someone asks you in the future.

God is my judge, He is all I have to answer to.

Yes, God is our judge. He is all we have to answer to.

But we do have an authority here on earth whom God gave authority to teach His Word. The Magisterium of The Catholic Church teaches us the Word of God and gives us guidelines as to how we should live our lives the way that Jesus taught His Apostles.

I do not think He would turn away a 14 year old boy, whom I think is natural during puberty to experiment, …

If a “14 year old boy” starts to do that and no one told him that it is a mortal sin, then he is not really guilty of a mortal sin because he doesn’t know that it is. But if he starts this act it could very well lead to an addiction which is very bad. He might soon learn that it is a mortal sin and then it would be very hard for him to stop. Not to say that it is not possible for him to stop. With confession and God’s mercy & grace that comes from that sacrament, it is possible for that boy (who by now is probably an adult) to stop.

That is why parents should talk to their boys and/or girls, about chastity and how important it is. Talks like this should start way before puberty so that when it comes to that time for a boy, he will know that doing that is wrong. And if he never starts something as a teenager, he won’t know what he’s missing. And I’m sure if he knows that it is a mortal sin, then he will never start.

 

[AlegreFe]

I made an appointment with my priest within a few days, we always talk for long periods of time. I was probably the one who misunderstood. I will tell you his answers.
I love my priest because he always takes the time to speak with you. Even in church, he’ll come over before Mass and ask if everything is ok.

Oh good, I’m so glad to hear this. I will say a prayer for you and for your priest.

I hope you go with the CCC and some printouts of some of the quotes from scripture here and I’m sure your priest will be humbled to be informed correctly from the Magisterium and from Scripture. And perhaps he did inform you correctly and just didn’t elaborate or you might have misunderstood him.

bella5110:

God Bless these priests whose Sacred hands handle Our Lord every day…

Yes, God bless all the priests because they bring us the Body of Christ.

 

[AlegreFe]

Nearly everybody has a besetting sin – for some it’s masturbation, for me: CA Forums!

Unfortunately, I think the same goes for me. Not necessarily CAForums alone but this along with some other Catholic & Christian forums where I am a member. This computer does it for me a lot when I could be doing something else. God help me.

 

[bella5110]

Alegre,
I have two boys and I would in no way tell them it is wrong. It is natural to experiment with your body as a teenager. I don’t know whether they do that or not, but I am pretty sure as they all do. If you teach them it is wrong, then they feel guilty as if they are bad people. I’m sorry but I do not talk about this with them. It is taboo for me and it isn’t a priority.
I am a devout Roman Catholic, and love God with my whole heart, soul and mind. But if you don’t like my views, well as St. Paul said “I am what I am.” My boys are well brought up and confident in their ways. The Holy Spirit will guide them.
Every sunday at Mass, when the priest raises the Host, I always say the same thing. Please don’t take my children from me, I won’t be able to handle it. Point being my oldest son, he’s 26 was in a car accident a few weeks ago where as the other car flipped over and my boy walked away. When I went to the tow yard to see his wrecked car, there was a picture of The Divine Mercy lying on the floor. My boy walked away with nothing. Jesus answered my prayers as He always has.
Sorry to get off track, just an FYI…thank you Lord.

 

[AlegreFe]

Alegre,
I have two boys and I would in no way tell them it is wrong. It is natural to experiment with your body as a teenager. I don’t know whether they do that or not, but I am pretty sure as they all do. If you teach them it is wrong, then they feel guilty as if they are bad people. I’m sorry but I do not talk about this with them. It is taboo for me and it isn’t a priority.

Saint Padre Pio told a woman that her sons were in hell because she was a permissive parent.

I’m not saying you are a permissive parent. I’m sure you are bringing your boys up in a moral and virtuous way as you say you are a devout Catholic. I just think you are misinformed here and you are not understanding what we are saying here. This is more serious than you think.

Your boys are not “bad boys” if they are “doing it” or not. There is a certain way that you can tell your boys in case they are doing it that they are not bad. But their actions could possibly lead them to an addiction that could be hard to stop. That “bad habit” could lead to mortal sin once they find out later in life that “it” was bad all along.

You have to think here. They will eventually find out that what they are doing (or maybe not doing) is a mortal sin. When they do find out the TRUTH about masturbation, it might be very hard for them to stop such an addiction.

The best time is NOW for you to inform them. Don’t they have a father that can talk to them? If you think this is “taboo” for you to talk to them about such matters, then maybe their father can talk to them.

 

[Mommyof02green]

I have two boys and I would in no way tell them it is wrong. It is natural to experiment with your body as a teenager.

Fr. Matthew Habiger OSB:

Your parents want to do the right thing when they explain the beauty of human sexuality to you, but they must also be accurate about what the Church teaches us. God has a magnificent plan for us as bodied persons, and He teaches us that plan through the Magisterium (teaching authority) of the Catholic Church.

What is God’s Plan? Recall in the first chapter of Genesis, that God created the human race as male and female. He made us to be persons with bodies, bodied persons, and that includes our fertility and sexuality. As a young person matures and passes through puberty, his, or her, sexual powers begin to awaken.

A young man notices changes in his body. He begins to grow pubic hair, his voice deepens, as well as other signs of maturing. His sex organs, the testicles, begin to produce sperm, which is very important in fertilizing a woman’s ovum, or human egg, with half of the genetic material which results in a new human being.

God has given a great pleasure to the act when sperm leaves a man’s body and passes into the body of his wife. And He has also given a great pleasure to the wife when this exchange takes place. This is called the marital act, or the spousal act, because God designed it to be a special act reserved just to a man and a woman who are deeply committed to each other in marriage, to a husband and wife.

Real love means making the total gift of yourself to another, with no conditions or reservations. Every one of us must learn how to love, to make the total and unconditional gift of ourselves to others. The marital act, or the spousal act, is a couple’s way of making the total gift of themselves to each other with their bodies. God designed the marital act to be expressed only in marriage between two deeply committed persons. In addition, the sexual act is capable of bringing about a new life. Therefore, if a couple is not open to life, and willing to accept the gift of a new life into their family, then they are not ready for sex. The Church teaches us that every marital act must be both love-giving and life-giving.

What does this mean for a young man like yourself? It means that you are to discover God’s beautiful plan for human sexuality. Sex is to be reserved for marriage. But, in the meantime, you will experience strong desires to have sex. You will experience, or already have experienced, nocturnal emissions or wet dreams, when a surplus of sperm accumulates in your body and suddenly releases through your penis. This is normal, and a natural pleasure.

But this is where the virtue of chastity enters. If the sexual act is to be expressed only by a husband and wife with an openness to new life, then we must learn how to control ourselves, how to come into the possessions of ourselves. This means that we do not stimulate ourselves (masturbation) so as to bring on sexual excitement or pleasure. It means that we avoid situations that would be a source of temptation to us to fall into sexual sins.

God’s plan for sex, Michael, is this: total abstinence before marriage, and total fidelity in marriage. If you are single, and unmarried, then you are to refrain from the marital act, and this includes self-stimulation. I am a priest and a religious, and God wants me to be completely chaste, or to refrain from all sex. Nocturnal emissions are another matter. But just as it would be wrong for me to have sex, so also it would be for any single, unmarried, person.

Many people today think that chastity is impossible, that it is too difficult. But this is nonsense. Self-control and chastity are difficult, but never impossible. Every young person passing through puberty must go through an apprenticeship of acquiring self-control and self-mastery. They must learn how to say “no” to pleasures for which they are not prepared to accept full responsibility. They must save themselves for their future spouse. They must learn how to pour themselves and their energies into constructive purposes like their studies, their projects, their families and their chaste friendships. They must learn how to use their freedom responsibly, constructively, and with self-control. When people refuse to do this, they bring a lot of harm and pain to themselves and to others. We see this all around us today.

(more on next post)

 

[Mommyof02green]

Conutine for last post

Here are some helps for acquiring the virtue of chastity. They work for everyone! 1) Pray to our Blessed Mother for help and guidance in gaining chastity. Pray the Rosary. 2) Use the sacrament of Reconciliation every month. You will find a lot of strength and encouragement here. 3) Go to Mass and receive the Holy Eucharist whenever you can. 4) Read the lives of young saints, who are your heroes, and see how they coped with difficulties. 5) Avoid temptations whenever possible. Avoid pornography like the plague. It only stirs up your desires for pleasure and selfishness. Be careful about the movies you see, and the programs on television you view. Don’t expose yourself to images and situations which will cling to your imagination and be a source of temptation to you. 6) Wear a scapular, or a medal of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, or a medal of St. Benedict. This is a sign that you want God’s protection to help keep you pure. 7) Read what the Catechism of the Catholic Church has to say about the “Vocation to Chastity,” paragraphs #2337-2359.

Michael, to come into self-control and self-possession is a manly task. It makes us become real persons, patterned upon God’s wonderful plan for us. It will require effort and persistence, but the rewards are very great. Remember, God designed us as bodied persons, and He has a definite plan as to how we are to live our lives as bodied persons.

The Catechism teaches us (CCC #2352): “By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. ‘Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.’ ‘The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.’ For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of ‘the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.’”

Yes, masturbation is a serious sin, and must be repented of and confessed.

Source: click here

 

[bella5110]

Conutine for last post
Source: click here

You raise your kids the way you want, I’ll raise mine how I want.
My younger son is in college, and my older son is a firefighter. Both never did drugs, I was an on hands mother, always there for them etc…God will judge, everyone here should cast the first stone. I am proud I raised my sons as a single parent. Now I suppose you’ll get on me for that too. You are no perfect than I.

 

[bella5110]

Saint Padre Pio told a woman that her sons were in hell because she was a permissive parent.

I’m not saying you are a permissive parent. I’m sure you are bringing your boys up in a moral and virtuous way as you say you are a devout Catholic. I just think you are misinformed here and you are not understanding what we are saying here. This is more serious than you think.

Your boys are not “bad boys” if they are “doing it” or not. There is a certain way that you can tell your boys in case they are doing it that they are not bad. But their actions could possibly lead them to an addiction that could be hard to stop. That “bad habit” could lead to mortal sin once they find out later in life that “it” was bad all along.

You have to think here. They will eventually find out that what they are doing (or maybe not doing) is a mortal sin. When they do find out the TRUTH about masturbation, it might be very hard for them to stop such an addiction.

The best time is NOW for you to inform them. Don’t they have a father that can talk to them? If you think this is “taboo” for you to talk to them about such matters, then maybe their father can talk to them.

You show me where Padre Pio said this. I am a great parent, not a permissive one. By the way, I had a true calling from Padre pio 2 and a half years ago. I know his life inside and out. I get stuff from Italy at San Giovanni Rotondo all the time because they know of my story. My priest gave me a first class relic of him when he came back from Italy that I cherish.
Stop lecturing me about this. Look at your own lives. I am done with this thread because I don’t have to answer to anyone except My Lord and my God.

 

[bella5110]

Oh, before I go Mommy2, I am in Adoration 4 times a week, I attend Mass on sunday, but during Lent I go for 50 days straight.
I attend healing masses, I taught CCD, I volunteer for EWTN, I belong to The Catholic League, I volunteer for 3 churches, I attend Bible class, if my church needs me, I am there. I will do anything for god. Anything. Even to give up my life.
I am still in a state of Grace, so He must be a very loving, patient God. Thank you Jesus. I try and thank him on every thread.

 

[Sabda]

If masturbation is taboo than how did you handle the whole sex talk? After all masturbation IS about sex. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear this. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about having done something we shouldn’t have. In fact it’s a GOOD thing to feel bad. I have committed a number of grave sins in my life. In fact at one point many of the Church’s teachings in this area went in one ear and right out the other. Simple because I did not want to hear it. I’m now at a point were I have no problem hearing (I hope). If someone tells me something is a mortal sin and I have committed it, I will go and look at the CCC. Then I’m off to confession to be forgiven. I don’t want to be told something I have done is serious and then not do anything about it. The Church’s moral teachings do not change. It’s as simple as that.

 

[AlegreFe]

You show me where Padre Pio said this.

I heard it on EWTN. Father Corapi talks a lot about different priests and different saints. He mentioned it on one of his talks.

Just because you say you “know his life inside and out” does not mean you really know EVERYTHING about Padre Pio. No one can say that.

I’m glad you had that calling from Padre Pio.

I commend you for everything that you do for our Church.

A Priest can be misinformed about certain things and so can a very devout lay person such as yourself. This is one of those “certain things” about which you are misinformed.

Peace and God bless.