End-of-pew blockers

[Armor_of_Light]

Okay, just thought I’d check since a lot of people don’t feel inclined to slide to the middle after they’ve clearly chosen the aisle seat.

Personally, I sit on the center aisle for two reasons:

1. I have a bad knee, which makes kneeling sometimes difficult. I look young for my age (almost 30 now… wow), so it might be hard to understand for some people that getting back up is sometimes a fairly painful experience. The pews in our church have arm rests, and being able to grab onto that and push helps me to stand.
2. I’m also in the military, and I think in terms of threat assessment. If a threat comes into the parish, the only way I’d be able to engage it is to be near an aisle, and near the door into the nave… hence my taking an aisle seat at least 2/3rds of the way back from the sanctuary (at my parish, the front seats are the most popular). A stupid reason, sure, but the bottom line is that psychologically I feel more comfortable being near the aisle, especially since being catholic and in the military makes me feel like if there ever was a threat for whatever terrible reason, I would want to be the person to respond to that.

Well, that and I have a notoriously small bladder and sometimes have to get up in the middle of mass…

Totally not stupid, brother.

We men have to keep attentive to that sort of thing! I’m always looking for stuff like that, too and I was not in the military…

And you can bet yer last dollar I’d be there to help you out if ever the need arose.

Semper Fi

 

[clem456]

Because we suffer from anxiety disorders. Because we are old and often have to leave to get the bathroom. Because that’s where we want to sit.

Judge not lest ye get old and incontinent and someone gives you a dirty look because you won’t “slide over.”

I won’t.

How do you handle that situation then, if you are sitting on the end and a family needs a place to sit?

 

[robwar]

I am one of those people, and if you tell me to slide over, I will tell you no. Actually, if you want to sit next to me with your four kids, I will be more than happy to give you the entire pew and find another end of the pew to sit. I don’t want children disrupting me and getting in my space.

Yes, I am single, and I don’t want your cry-me-a-river story about your tough life you chose when your opted to get married and have children. You could have chosen to stay single and celibate, but part of marriage is children and having to make sacrifices. Accept it and offer it up.

Don’t make assumptions that the single life is some relaxed easy-going life because it isn’t. I have school, deadlines, work, and a house to maintain myself. I accept it as part of my life and relax as soon as I enter in the church. How can you be all stressed and tense when in the presence of Jesus?

I am sorry but your attitude about people coming to church as a family is very sad. Jesus did say let little children come to him and not prohibit them. There is five in our family,
and for the most part people are very gracious to let us in when they decide to sit on the end of an empty pew. We are on time and this is not an issue of being late. Once in a great while we run into people that are rude and act irritated or bothered that they might have to step out or move a little to let a family in. It comes across as they own the pew and don’t disturb me. If you are sitting on the end of an empty pew, it is only normal and natural that others coming in (again we are not talking about late) may have to crawl across them to sit down. Usually those who display these attitudes leave right after receiving communion. Maybe we need bigger Catholic families to come to church or even come to church as a family together. It is amazing the attitude of I’m in church and don’t you disturb me. We come as a community, this me and Jesus attitude is more Protestant than Catholic. Maybe we need to be a little more gracious and understanding of each others situations. Usually I smile and thank the person and they smile back and it is not a problem.

 

[MSSheBear]

So apparently I am the only Catholic in the world that likes to sit in the middle of the pew? I prefer to have “pew blockers” on both ends. I am single and childless which makes it easier to get to church but then I have other issues to deal with. I need to sit in the second or third row in the center so I arrive early. Some of the elderly are there already, sitting on the ends. I either make a detour around them or just excuse myself and squeeze by.

In my case I do actually squeeze by since I am not small or slim. For some reason at least one of my pew mates who should be behind me makes it through Communion before I do, so I have to “squeeze” by.

 

[beehumble]

Why? Oh, why do people block the ends?..Plenty of room (sadly) to slide towards the center. Singles and couples mostly do this at our parish.

Yes, yes I know…‘Get there earlier’ ‘They are older’ ‘Ask them nicely to slide over’ and all that. Why is the onus on us (4 kids ranging from 4 months to 15 years). It is a small miracle that we even make it on time. We are usually stressed out enough after all the prep work that goes into Sunady mornings! Then I have to be the bad guy and beg some relaxed, well rested and care-free person to slide over?

A rant. Bad mood today and I’m gonna face this situation again Sunday. Maybe I should do a prayer request instead.

I block the pew. I find an empty pew and plop down right inside at the end. I was taught by the good nuns to slide over to the middle but I don’t.

If somebody comes to ‘my’ pew, my wife and I graciously slide to the middle. If somebody is in the aisle looking for a seat, I always motion them to sit in my pew and I start to slide over while motioning to them so they know they are welcome.

I like the end in case I need to get out for something - bathroom, emergency etc. although those almost never happen. I sit at an end at the movies too, in the center section of seats, when I can, and in the aisle seat in an airplane.

I hate hate hate disturbing/inconveniencing people by sliding and squeezing past them if I need to get out of the pew for some reason, hence I sit at the end until somebody comes or needs a seat.

The ushers should help late comers find seats - they should do the ‘moving’ for the latest arrivals - this was the way it was when I was a child - the ushers seated people once the Church was full of pew blockers!

Be at peace and know most pew blockers, imho, don’t mind if you come up to them with your family and want to sit there.

That is my rant back at ya!!

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I block the pew. I find an empty pew and plop down right inside at the end. I was taught by the good nuns to slide over to the middle but I don’t.

If somebody comes to ‘my’ pew, my wife and I graciously slide to the middle. If somebody is in the aisle looking for a seat, I always motion them to sit in my pew and I start to slide over while motioning to them so they know they are welcome.

I like the end in case I need to get out for something - bathroom, emergency etc. although those almost never happen. I sit at an end at the movies too, in the center section of seats, when I can, and in the aisle seat in an airplane.

I hate hate hate disturbing/inconveniencing people by sliding and squeezing past them if I need to get out of the pew for some reason, nence I sit at the end until somebody comes or needs a seat.

The ushers should help late comers find seats - they should do the ‘moving’ for the latest arrivals - this was the way it was when I was a child - the ushers seated people once the Church was full of pew blockers!

Be at peace and know most pew blockers, imho, don’t mind if you come up to them with your family and want to sit there.

That is my rant back at ya!!

Thanks! Good rant…good rant…

Good point, too. Where are the ushers in all this you ask? I 'unno Most of them are standing in the narthex talking to each other and greeting people.

And thank you for being gracious if people ask. Now listen to those nuns!

 

[shipwrkd]

Nope…You missed it. There was a little rant in my original post, but I really wanted to know the reasons people have for not sitting towards the middle by default. I neither expect nor ask for special treatment because of my (large in my parish, small for a traditional parish) family. When I have asked people to move (thank God I don’t have social anxiety or I’d remain silent) they have been gracious. The reasons people are giving are different than what I expected, so I’m learning something!

Let’s answer with a question. If you had to fly somewhere, would you chose an aisle seat or a middle one. Would you move to the center seat if someone entered you row? I’m an usher and when seating a family, I ask if they can share the pew with no regard to position. If the person on the end wants to move in or stand and let the family in makes no difference, the same end is accomplished. BTW, we’re in a large parish and the same families seem to come in late every Sunday while some even larger ones are there early every Sunday.

 

[Michael_Mayo]

I love to see kids at Mass. They don’t bother me at all unless they are crying all through Mass. “Let the children come unto me”. The lord said. Their sounds and playfulness add to the Mass a sens eof family & love.

 

[waanju]

Extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist and people who have been asked to take up the gifts normally sit at the end of the pew so they can get out easily. There are also some people with health issues that feel more comfortable sitting at the end of the pew so they can get out easily if need be.

Also lectors occasionally, and people with their OWN small kids who might need to dash off to the crying room, and ushers, and gift-bearers, and person-that-trains-new-altar-servers who needs to intervene when little Mark blows the candle out and can’t relight it and somehow drops the bells and spills the pitcher of water on his first day. Politely ask, the person might have a good reason!

 

[austenbosten]

 

[cradlecatholic5]

whats it really matter where you or they sit.

 

[maltmom]

I happen to believe that people are a lot more claustrophobic than is generally understood to be the case. Sitting at the end of a pew makes them feel less confined.

That is my problem. I have to sit on the end. If I’m in the middle with people on either side, even if they are my friends, I start to feel claustrophobic. I’m the same way at a movie theater and at dinner tables.

I always find this type of conversation interesting. The same can be said for any “event” that has open seating. People arrive early for many reasons. One may be to able to sit where they want. There is no reserved seating…first come…first served. If someone arrives late they should take what is available. Why should someone have to move to the middle b/c someone came late and they want to sit on the end?

 

[7_Sorrows]

I happen to believe that people are a lot more claustrophobic than is generally understood to be the case. Sitting at the end of a pew makes them feel less confined.

that is the reason i make it a point to get to church early so that i can find a spot at the end of a pew to sit. i also will get up to let others in and have not viewed myself as a “pew blocker”. i want to be able to relax during the Mass and not be anxious about being stuck in the middle of a pew and feel i can’t make a fast exit if i need to. i don’t know if i have panic attacks, but i am 60 years old and i just don’t like being in the middle of crowds anymore. sitting at the end of the pew makes me feel that i am not closed in and have breathing room. as of yet, i don’t think anyone has been displeased that i don’t slide over. now that i read the title of your thread, maybe i am wrong. i am a convert and maybe Catholics were taught from an early age to slide in to allow late comers to sit down.
i would probably not attend Mass as often if i didn’t think i could sit at the end.

 

[Seeker1961]

I sit at the end, and if you come in later than I have then I will cheerfully get up and let you enter the pew. I will not slide to the middle because you have children and are thus entitled to the seats you want no matter what time you show up. I don’t sit there because of anxiety or anything like that, I simply prefer it and I make sure to get there early enough so that there are end seats available.

I don’t have any problem with you and your children being there, nor do I dislike children, so let’s stop throwing those accusations at anyone who doesn’t bend to the will of everyone with a child. You had the child (ren) and if there are accommodations to be made as a result of that then you need to make them and not expect the rest of the world to bend to you.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Whoa! I love you Constantine TG, but I think this is going a little overboard. When I first read the post in question my first reaction was “OUCH!” But my second time reading it, it made more sense to me, especially when it came as a reaction to the OP’s post.

I’m really saddened by the fact that people in church think that other people there with them are a burden and that they should conform to their own needs and wants. The whole point that we are in church is to gather for the Lord. It is not a movie theater where we just happen to be in the same place watching the same thing minding our own business.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I disagree. The post was entirely lacking in consideration for the needs of families with young children.

I disagree. I can see where the OP’s post could come off as equally offending. And I know what it is like taking a large family to Church. I have ten, all adults now.

I agree with Ryan here. Perhaps its these other people who need to offer it up as well.

 

[anthrogirl]

I go to a really big church. We were running 2 masses at 9am and 2 masses at 11am (in addition to a 7:30am, a 5pm and a saturday mass). The 9am and 11am in the big church were for families, The 9am and 11am in the chapel (our old smaller church) were for people who didn’t want to celebrate mass with too many kids. The 5pm was the teen mass. The other 2 were a mix. It worked great until we recently gutted the big church to make more room for pews and we shut down the chapel (only weddings, baptisms, funerals in there now). Now we all sit together. It’s pretty funny. Someone should do a sociological study on the different types of worshipers and how they interact.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

I sit at the end, and if you come in later than I have then I will cheerfully get up and let you enter the pew. I will not slide to the middle because you have children and are thus entitled to the seats you want no matter what time you show up. I don’t sit there because of anxiety or anything like that, I simply prefer it and I make sure to get there early enough so that there are end seats available. I don’t have any problem with you and your children being there, nor do I dislike children, so let’s stop throwing those accusations at anyone who doesn’t bend to the will of everyone with a child. You had the child (ren) and if there are accommodations to be made as a result of that then you need to make them and not expect the rest of the world to bend to you.

Holy cow…read the thread! Again…I neither expect nor ask for special treatment because of the kids. I just wanted to hear the reasons for the pew blocking.

I was taught to take the center automatically and still do when it comes up. I’m in the minority on that one though, eh?

 

[Ophelia23]

I love to see kids at Mass. They don’t bother me at all unless they are crying all through Mass. “Let the children come unto me”. The lord said. Their sounds and playfulness add to the Mass a sens eof family & love.

 

[robwar]

I sit at the end, and if you come in later than I have then I will cheerfully get up and let you enter the pew. I will not slide to the middle because you have children and are thus entitled to the seats you want no matter what time you show up. I don’t sit there because of anxiety or anything like that, I simply prefer it and I make sure to get there early enough so that there are end seats available.

I don’t have any problem with you and your children being there, nor do I dislike children, so let’s stop throwing those accusations at anyone who doesn’t bend to the will of everyone with a child. You had the child (ren) and if there are accommodations to be made as a result of that then you need to make them and not expect the rest of the world to bend to you.

I think most people are like you and I have found that if I thank the person graciously for stepping out to let us in there isn’t any problem. With a family of five (2 adults, 2 teenagers, 1 9 year old) it is more about space and what is available to be able to sit together and again, it is not about being late. I lector so sometimes I do need an end, my sons alter serve so often not even with us. I think 98% of the people at least at my current parish are very gracious and step out to let you in. I don’t expect people to move in either.
A kind thank-you goes a long way.