Even grandma had premarital sex, survey finds

[tamccrackine]

Nohome,
Thank you. You’ve given me some information to look further into. I don’t believe anyone is really blaming a man-made program however it has just shown that, it too, doesn’t work. The question is “now what?” So I think the easiest, most formitable and basic start point is morals. Instill those BACK into children, and BACK into the family and the rest might just fall into place, kwim?

with all daughters, and the rise of growth hormones in meat/dairy products… how to encounter all these problems before puberty hits but yet do so in a manner that they can still understand at their young age, yet try to still give them a semblace of childhood while their 9yr old buddies are having sex. It’s pretty scary.

 

[Rach620]

STD’s… again, need the resource you’ve pulled this info from. I honestly think they’ve increased because of the false sense of security the contraceptions provide.

I offer this for your review… CDC report Check out the graphs and charts too… especially the trends shown from 1946 to 2005.

It seems that according to the CDC while STD rates apparently plummeted in the 90s, they now seem to be increasing again.

If you look here the numbers seem to say that while chlamydia rates have really increased, both gonnorhea and syphilis have stayed pretty much the same.

But the stats themselves aren’t really what’s important when making personal moral judgements. Clearly, if people weren’t promiscuous and only had monogamous sexual relationships, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But, ah, the ravages of concupiscence…

 

[manualman]

Agnieszka,

I sense a real love for Jesus in your post and thank you for your committment and challenge to see Christ in the flawed humans all around us. But I DO want to challenge your thinking in one way. Your body is not separate from your soul. When you give your body to another, you become inseparably linked in a supernatural way. As you have learned, that link creates a horrible wound in your soul if the relationship ends and the two partners separate. I suggest to you that your current relationship will be even more terribly traumatic should it ever end. Wounds like this affect your ability to carry out a whole and healthy marriage later on. And it isn’t a one time wound - the efffects are cumulative. Pray about it.

We live in a culture that sees body as entirely separate from soul. That’s arguably a natural outcome of the protestant Sola Fide principle that pervades even the catholic subculture of America and all the West. But it is a lie. Your body is not just a container for your soul. And God designed your sexuality to function as a means to eternally bond man and wife. Read “Good News About Sex & Marriage” for a better explanation than I can give you. The reason your current sexual activity feels so right is that you have appropriated something MEANT to make a permanent marriage BE so right. You are quite right to be dismayed when people seem to be harping on arbitrary rules instead of spiritual principles. But there are spiritual principles of which you do not seem to be aware! NO sin is sin because it appears on an arbitrary list. All sins are things that damage us and our relationship with God.

Nohome,

I agree with you that we cannot lay the blame for human sexual sin on safe sex programs. Of course not. King David did not likely sleep with Bathsheba due to the influence of Playboy and the Guttmacher Institute. But your arguments have holes. Contraception became widely and easily available during the roaring 20’s, coincident with the mass availability of te automobile (aka portable privacy). If it could be gotten, I daresay promiscuity data for people before the 20’s would be drastically lower than today. It is also interesting to note that syphallis and ghonorrhea (sp?) may have declined in recent decades, but do you REALLY think ‘safe sex’ education is responsible or could something like, … um, antibiotics be just a tad bit responsible!?! Seems to me that anitbiotics should have resulted in a drastic reduction in bacterial STD’s, but no. Perhaps behavior was changing around the time the antibiotics came out and mostly offset the otherwise dramatic benefits?

 

[Actress101]

While premarital sex is certainly not optimal, it’s happening. 95% statistic is pretty telling. You can’t keep your head in the sand, and neither can the Church.

As I mentioned, chasity should always be the 1st choice, but young folks and all folks need to be educated on the other choices.

AIDS, STDS, unwanted pregnancies, abortions are all up. I would much rather see a person wear a condom that will probably prevent a pregnancy, than have somebody get an abortion or have that child live in poverty and misery.

God has to feel the same way.

I agree with you.

Wouldn’t it be bettter to teach my generation the consequences and prevention of sex than to teach just chastity? It’s better to teach us, and have us **understand **we have to be safe, than to teach us to have NO SEX at all.

 

[fix]

I agree with you.

Wouldn’t it be bettter to teach my generation the consequences and prevention of sex than to teach just chastity? It’s better to teach us, and have us **understand **we have to be safe, than to teach us to have NO SEX at all.

Is it not better to understand moral truth and live by it than to be a slave to error and relativism? A good end is never justified by an evil means. We need to form our consciences better, not leave them poorly formed.

 

[Nohome]

Is it not better to understand moral truth and live by it?

Well, we failed to meet this before and after the time of Christ. It sounds nice, but it is not an achievable goal.

Nohome

 

[fix]

Well, we failed to meet this before and after the time of Christ. It sounds nice, but it is not an achievable goal.

Nohome

To imitate and live out the love of Christ is not possible for man by his own strength alone. He becomes *capable of this love only by virtue of a gift received. *As the Lord Jesus receives the love of his Father, so he in turn freely communicates that love to his disciples: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love” (Jn 15:9). Christ’s gift is his Spirit, whose first “fruit” (cf. Gal 5:22) is charity: “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us” (Rom 5:5). Saint Augustine asks: “Does love bring about the keeping of the commandments, or does the keeping of the commandments bring about love?” And he answers: “But who can doubt that love comes first? For the one who does not love has no reason for keeping the commandments”.29
vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/encyclicals/documents/hf_jp-ii_enc_06081993_veritatis-splendor_en.html

 

[Actress101]

So.

If someone came into my grade and told my classmates that they were to practice chastity, and not have sex, thta would be great.

But then, kids would still go out and have sex. And without knowing about how to protect themselves, they could possibly get there partner pregnant easier than without knowing about protection.

I really don’t understand why we can’t be taught how to protect ourselves. Would people rather see us with dieses and pregnant because we didn’t know what to do?

Reminder, every person is not Christian. Some are other religions, and may not take premaritial sex as strict as Christians do. They still need to know how to protect themselves. Just because they are not apart of our religion, doesn’t mean we should push them to the side.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Actress101:

So you want someone to teach you how to sin and get away without consequences? Sorry to tell you this, but it then becomes a sin for those that helped you also. Maybe it is better to stay away from those “near occasions to sin.”

 

[jmcrae]

So.

If someone came into my grade and told my classmates that they were to practice chastity, and not have sex, that would be great.

Hopefully it would be more than just, “Hey kids, be chaste!!” Hopefully they would teach the boys about self-control, and teach the girls various strategies for getting out of bad situations (including how to recognize them ahead of time and not get into them in the first place).

But then, kids would still go out and have sex. And without knowing about how to protect themselves, they could possibly get there partner pregnant easier than without knowing about protection.

Hopefully in their sex education they would have learned about how the human body works, and how it is that sex is designed for making babies.

I really don’t understand why we can’t be taught how to protect ourselves. Would people rather see us with dieses and pregnant because we didn’t know what to do?

But the protection isn’t 100%. Lots of kids still end up pregnant and having horrible, incurable diseases, even though they used protection.

Reminder, every person is not Christian. Some are other religions, and may not take premaritial sex as strict as Christians do. They still need to know how to protect themselves. Just because they are not apart of our religion, doesn’t mean we should push them to the side.

Reminder, the laws of biology apply to everyone; not only to Christians. Your sexuality is designed for making babies, and it will do its everlasting darnedest to make a baby, every single time you have sex, even if you are using the best protection in the world, because the drive to reproduce (that is, to make babies) is one of the strongest forces in the Universe.

90% is pretty good, right? If you got 90% on a test at school you’d be pretty happy, right?

A 90% effective birth control system means that on average you will get pregnant or get someone pregnant once every ten times that you have sex together. But the thing is that it’s not on a regular schedule of 9 times okay and then the tenth time you get pregnant - that one in ten can happen at any time, including the very first time.

That’s why abstinence is way so much better than “protection” - because “protection” makes you feel like you’re safe from the consequences of sex, even though, in reality, you aren’t.

“Less likely to get pregnant” is nothing at all like “won’t get pregnant,” and “less likely to catch a horrible incurable disease” is not at all the same thing as “won’t catch a horrible incurable disease.”

The only 100% protection is to say “No” to sex, and think of something else that would be fun to do instead.

 

[Lion_of_Narnia]

As the late Robert A. Heinlein wrote in Expanded Universe, “Each generation thinks it invented sex. Each generation is wrong”

 

[Norseman82]

The only 100% protection is to say “No” to sex, and think of something else that would be fun to do instead.

+1

Only one time in history did abstinance fail, and we remember It with a holiday in late December.

 

[adrift]

Re: Even grandma had premarital sex, survey finds

I had to giggle at this title.

The article is about women born in the forties.

The op is 26 I wondered was his grandmother born in the forties?
I was born in the forties and my grandparents were born pre 1900’s.
My childrens grandparents were born before the 1920’s.

There were those who had sex before marriage but it was frowned on and was rare.

Remember the Everly Brothers song Wake Up a Little Susie? I doubt todays youth would understand it.

 

[Actress101]

Hopefully it would be more than just, “Hey kids, be chaste!!” Hopefully they would teach the boys about self-control, and teach the girls various strategies for getting out of bad situations (including how to recognize them ahead of time and not get into them in the first place).

Hopefully in their sex education they would have learned about how the human body works, and how it is that sex is designed for making babies.

But the protection isn’t 100%. Lots of kids still end up pregnant and having horrible, incurable diseases, even though they used protection.

Reminder, the laws of biology apply to everyone; not only to Christians. Your sexuality is designed for making babies, and it will do its everlasting darnedest to make a baby, every single time you have sex, even if you are using the best protection in the world, because the drive to reproduce (that is, to make babies) is one of the strongest forces in the Universe.

90% is pretty good, right? If you got 90% on a test at school you’d be pretty happy, right?

A 90% effective birth control system means that on average you will get pregnant or get someone pregnant once every ten times that you have sex together. But the thing is that it’s not on a regular schedule of 9 times okay and then the tenth time you get pregnant - that one in ten can happen at any time, including the very first time.

That’s why abstinence is way so much better than “protection” - because “protection” makes you feel like you’re safe from the consequences of sex, even though, in reality, you aren’t.

“Less likely to get pregnant” is nothing at all like “won’t get pregnant,” and “less likely to catch a horrible incurable disease” is not at all the same thing as “won’t catch a horrible incurable disease.”

The only 100% protection is to say “No” to sex, and think of something else that would be fun to do instead.

I understand your view more clearly now. Maybe I’d rather just see a chastity/protection combination class or something. But thank you for explaining it a bit more.

 

[jmcrae]

I understand your view more clearly now. Maybe I’d rather just see a chastity/protection combination class or something. But thank you for explaining it a bit more.

To my way of thinking, teaching it that way would be kind of crazy, because it would make the kids think that there is a double standard, or that people don’t really think they are capable of self-control or of discernment (which is kind of insulting, really, don’t you think?)

Imagine if in driver’s ed, they said, “Don’t drink and drive - but if you do, wear a seatbelt!!” Can you imagine your driver’s ed teacher saying something like that? They’d probably fire him if he ever did.

Or in health class, if they said, “don’t share dirty needles - but if you do, get a tetanus shot!!” Not likely, right?

There are certain safety rules that you just follow, and that’s that - there’s no “but what if” option. Sex education should be the same as any other safety education - they should be telling kids the truth about sex, and reminding them that if they are not ready to be called “Mommy” or “Daddy” and if they are not married to each other, then it is not yet time for them to start having sex.

That’s just common sense, as far as I’m concerned.

 

[Actress101]

To my way of thinking, teaching it that way would be kind of crazy, because it would make the kids think that there is a double standard, or that people don’t really think they are capable of self-control or of discernment (which is kind of insulting, really, don’t you think?)

Imagine if in driver’s ed, they said, “Don’t drink and drive - but if you do, wear a seatbelt!!” Can you imagine your driver’s ed teacher saying something like that? They’d probably fire him if he ever did.

Or in health class, if they said, “don’t share dirty needles - but if you do, get a tetanus shot!!” Not likely, right?

There are certain safety rules that you just follow, and that’s that - there’s no “but what if” option. Sex education should be the same as any other safety education - they should be telling kids the truth about sex, and reminding them that if they are not ready to be called “Mommy” or “Daddy” and if they are not married to each other, then it is not yet time for them to start having sex.

That’s just common sense, as far as I’m concerned.

I respect your answer I just think that protection is also an important factor, just because some kids will have sex no matter what.

 

[jmcrae]

I respect your answer I just think that protection is also an important factor, just because some kids will have sex no matter what.

Some kids will also use illegal drugs, drink and drive, and other things they shouldn’t do, too, but in these other cases, we don’t go around acting like it’s inevitable - we treat them as if they can learn to know better, and learn to do the right thing.

I don’t know why it’s different with sex. I don’t think it has to be - I think we can tell kids the truth and expect them to behave themselves in this area of life, just the same as we expect it in other areas of life.

Yes, kids will make mistakes - some of them will die from their mistakes, and some will have their lives changed forever with a disease, a mental illness, or a pregnancy. Others will get lucky and learn from their mistakes before anything bad happens to them.

And the majority will listen, and do the right thing, and be safe right from the start - unless we don’t teach them.

If we don’t teach them, then they have no chance, because they’ll have no way of knowing the difference between right and wrong. If we decide to lie about “safe sex” to them, instead of telling them the truth about sex, and teaching them to abstain until they are ready for children and marriage, they will be in real trouble, and they won’t know why, because from their point of view, they will have done everything right, according to how they were taught.

That’s why we have to teach the truth, even when it’s not the most popular thing.

 

[Mac6yver]

Some kids will also use illegal drugs, drink and drive, and other things they shouldn’t do, too, but in these other cases, we don’t go around acting like it’s inevitable - we treat them as if they can learn to know better, and learn to do the right thing.

I don’t know why it’s different with sex. I don’t think it has to be - I think we can tell kids the truth and expect them to behave themselves in this area of life, just the same as we expect it in other areas of life.

Yes, kids will make mistakes - some of them will die from their mistakes, and some will have their lives changed forever with a disease, a mental illness, or a pregnancy. Others will get lucky and learn from their mistakes before anything bad happens to them.

And the majority will listen, and do the right thing, and be safe right from the start - unless we don’t teach them.

If we don’t teach them, then they have no chance, because they’ll have no way of knowing the difference between right and wrong. If we decide to lie about “safe sex” to them, instead of telling them the truth about sex, and teaching them to abstain until they are ready for children and marriage, they will be in real trouble, and they won’t know why, because from their point of view, they will have done everything right, according to how they were taught.

That’s why we have to teach the truth, even when it’s not the most popular thing.

Did you engage in pre-marital sex?

 

[adrift]

Some kids will also use illegal drugs, drink and drive, and other things they shouldn’t do, too, but in these other cases, we don’t go around acting like it’s inevitable - we treat them as if they can learn to know better, and learn to do the right thing.

I don’t know why it’s different with sex. I don’t think it has to be - I think we can tell kids the truth and expect them to behave themselves in this area of life, just the same as we expect it in other areas of life.

Yes, kids will make mistakes - some of them will die from their mistakes, and some will have their lives changed forever with a disease, a mental illness, or a pregnancy. Others will get lucky and learn from their mistakes before anything bad happens to them.

And the majority will listen, and do the right thing, and be safe right from the start - unless we don’t teach them.

If we don’t teach them, then they have no chance, because they’ll have no way of knowing the difference between right and wrong. If we decide to lie about “safe sex” to them, instead of telling them the truth about sex, and teaching them to abstain until they are ready for children and marriage, they will be in real trouble, and they won’t know why, because from their point of view, they will have done everything right, according to how they were taught.

That’s why we have to teach the truth, even when it’s not the most popular thing.

I agree with this and no I didn’t have sex before marriage.

 

[jmcrae]

Did you engage in pre-marital sex?

Why does it matter?

(I didn’t, but it had more to do with luck and God’s grace toward me than with personal purity, holiness, or intelligent decision-making on my part.)