Ex-Mormons Why Did You Leave the Church II

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Hello,
I'm an ex-LDS and presently an inactive member of the temple lot group. I was a convert to the LDS when I was 25 and that was over 40 years ago. The reason I left was I saw too many discrepancies between what the BOM taught and the practices within the church. The major ones were the teaching against priestcraft, and the definition of the gospel both found in the BOM.
 
Marie,
My parents have grudgingly accepted it. They tell people that they are just happy that I take my kids to church and that I am raising them christian. Most of my extended family gives loves me no matter. There a few that have made comments like “too bad these kids(mine and other cousins kids that are not part of the church) aren’t really part of the family” Wow!! Really?!? That was quickly smacked down with “real families don’t pass judgment on others” and “God is too big and powerful to not include all children in his family.”

My parents are not as accepting of my sisters decision to leave organized religion entirely and just be spirtual.
I’m not criticizing your decision to leave Mormonism nor condoning the comments of your family members, but I’m sure you can understand what trauma it must have had on some of your more faithful (to the LDS Church) in your family to know that one of them has left the Church for a different religion. Especially when your eternal destiny might be at stake.

If I raised my child in a certain faith, as much as I would tried to be strong, I’d be devastated if he or she decided to abandon the faith in which he or she has been raised for something else. It hurts, and it takes a lot of time to recover. Just some food for thought.
 
Hello,
Code:
I'm an ex-LDS and presently an inactive member of the temple lot group.  I was a convert to the LDS when I was 25 and that was over 40 years ago.  The reason I left was I saw too many discrepancies between what the BOM taught and the practices within the church.  The major ones were the teaching against priestcraft, and the definition of the gospel both found in the BOM.
Welcome Superwmp…👍
 
What exactly, do you find without merit? Are you calling me a liar? I am curious as to how you have the knowledge of the situation to find it without merit?
If there is merit in what you said, I would hope you reported the incident to the police and had those “members” arrested. If anyone had attempted to kidnap your children, the LDS church had nothing to do with it; unfortunately, sometimes member of the church do things that are immoral and even unlawful.

You make an accusation against the LDS church but you don’t give any information on what really happened. Your side of the story! I have learned that there are two sides to every story and before I would ever accuse anyone of such a horrible act, I would want the other side of the story to be told with mine; I believe that is not only fair, but the right thing to do.

Am I calling you a liar? No, but I think that, again, when only one side of the story is told, there is sufficient absence of the complete truth that the one side is without merit.

I know the church policies on most things and I can tell you and anyone reading this blog that if a member of the church is guilty of such an act there would be severe consequences.

I have heard so many amazing charges against the church, through the years, that I have become more than skeptical of those making the charges. I know how much it agonizes church leaders when something like this occurs or when such charges as these are made. I, of course, don’t know what happened but I find this charge to be so far beyond church policy that I have to say again that it is without merit.

Accusations, such as yours, tend to be long in vitriol and very short on truth. The accusations stand only as long as the other side does not have the luxury to refute or defend.

It is my believe that a truly charitable Christian would not become like the enemies of Christ and raise their voice with bitter charges. I believe that a true following of Jesus Christ would say instead, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”.

I think of the that little figure of mother Teresa that cast a very large shadow where ever she served; and I’m sure she had experienced many unjust tragedies in her life. Your new religion (Catholic) has had - and has - many great examples of “Love your neighbor”. I’m sure you made the right decision.

By the way! I believe that the new Pope is a wonderful and great example of humility and charity. I certainly wish him all the best and hope that Catholics, throughout the world, will embrace his example and charity. As a Christian (LDS), I will listen closely to what he says and watch his wonderful acts of kindness. I would that we could all be like this great servant.
 
jorsalfar, do you think it is possible to forgive someone, but still speak out against their actions?
 
If there is merit in what you said, I would hope you reported the incident to the police and had those “members” arrested. If anyone had attempted to kidnap your children, the LDS church had nothing to do with it; unfortunately, sometimes member of the church do things that are immoral and even unlawful.

You make an accusation against the LDS church but you don’t give any information on what really happened. Your side of the story! I have learned that there are two sides to every story and before I would ever accuse anyone of such a horrible act, I would want the other side of the story to be told with mine; I believe that is not only fair, but the right thing to do.

Am I calling you a liar? No, but I think that, again, when only one side of the story is told, there is sufficient absence of the complete truth that the one side is without merit.

I know the church policies on most things and I can tell you and anyone reading this blog that if a member of the church is guilty of such an act there would be severe consequences.

I have heard so many amazing charges against the church, through the years, that I have become more than skeptical of those making the charges. I know how much it agonizes church leaders when something like this occurs or when such charges as these are made. I, of course, don’t know what happened but I find this charge to be so far beyond church policy that I have to say again that it is without merit.

Accusations, such as yours, tend to be long in vitriol and very short on truth. The accusations stand only as long as the other side does not have the luxury to refute or defend.

It is my believe that a truly charitable Christian would not become like the enemies of Christ and raise their voice with bitter charges. I believe that a true following of Jesus Christ would say instead, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”.

I think of the that little figure of mother Teresa that cast a very large shadow where ever she served; and I’m sure she had experienced many unjust tragedies in her life. Your new religion (Catholic) has had - and has - many great examples of “Love your neighbor”. I’m sure you made the right decision.

By the way! I believe that the new Pope is a wonderful and great example of humility and charity. I certainly wish him all the best and hope that Catholics, throughout the world, will embrace his example and charity. As a Christian (LDS), I will listen closely to what he says and watch his wonderful acts of kindness. I would that we could all be like this great servant.
I’m afraid you had alot of double speak in here, but basically said you don’t believe TK.

You remind me of a former poster on here (mormon), who said she automatically discounted anything an exmormon said, just because they were exmormon.
 
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. At this point my biggest hang ups are discerning between Eastern Orthodoxy and Catholicism, and making sure my conversion doesn’t cause marital problems.
Well, by reading your info I see that you chose Catholicism :). I once questioned which of the two are true, but I read multiple writings from early church fathers and there was no doubt in my mind what-so-ever that The Catholic Church is true. If you ever need any apologetic links, I know a few amazing ones 👍.
 
If there is merit in what you said, I would hope you reported the incident to the police and had those “members” arrested. If anyone had attempted to kidnap your children, the LDS church had nothing to do with it; unfortunately, sometimes member of the church do things that are immoral and even unlawful.

Do you often speak without knowing anything? The police WERE called…and I met with the DA. I did not press charges because I was afraid of retaliation. I was just a few months from leaving that town to go into the Army. I reported it to the LDS local authorities and NOTHING was done. So, please refrain from speaking about things of which you have zero knowledge.

You make an accusation against the LDS church but you don’t give any information on what really happened. Your side of the story! I have learned that there are two sides to every story and before I would ever accuse anyone of such a horrible act, I would want the other side of the story to be told with mine; I believe that is not only fair, but the right thing to do.

I have given my side of the story. I never asked you accuse anyone. Yet, though you claim you do not accuse people, you have, in effect, accused me of being a liar. Odd double standard you have there…but incredibly LDS

Am I calling you a liar?

Yes, you are. I made a claim, you said you did not believe it. For it not to be true, I must, then, be a liar.

I know the church policies on most things and I can tell you and anyone reading this blog that if a member of the church is guilty of such an act there would be severe consequences.

Yet, there wasn’t. Go figure. So much for YOUR claim

I have heard so many amazing charges against the church, through the years, that I have become more than skeptical of those making the charges.

Ah…because NOTHING like that could be true. Yet, there have been many…they must ALL be lies and we must ALL be liars. Got it

I know how much it agonizes church leaders when something like this occurs or when such charges as these are made. I, of course, don’t know what happened but I find this charge to be so far beyond church policy that I have to say again that it is without merit.

Again, you call me a liar. How nice to sit in the safety of your house and call someone a liar. I am in Dallas. PM me and I will give you my address. I invite you to come tell me to my face that I am liar. I think it would be a fun conversation.Meeting me face to face, you would find I am not a liar

It is my believe that a truly charitable Christian would not become like the enemies of Christ and raise their voice with bitter charges. I believe that a true following of Jesus Christ would say instead, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do”.

And it is MY belief that a charitable Christian would not call someone a liar whom he did not know.

I think of the that little figure of mother Teresa that cast a very large shadow where ever she served; and I’m sure she had experienced many unjust tragedies in her life. Your new religion (Catholic) has had - and has - many great examples of “Love your neighbor”. I’m sure you made the right decision.

Yes. I did. The attempted kidnapping was the last straw

By the way! I believe that the new Pope is a wonderful and great example of humility and charity. I certainly wish him all the best and hope that Catholics, throughout the world, will embrace his example and charity. As a Christian (LDS), I will listen closely to what he says and watch his wonderful acts of kindness. I would that we could all be like this great servant.

Yes. I am certain he is also against the attempted kidnapping of children
 
I’m afraid you had alot of double speak in here, but basically said you don’t believe TK.

You remind me of a former poster on here (mormon), who said she automatically discounted anything an exmormon said, just because they were exmormon.
Yep. I am used to this from Mormons. He reminds me of the folks who did what he says I lied about

Most true Mormons have told me they are sorry for what happened and that it is not how the LDS Church really is. I accept it. I met once with the local LDS Bishop here who found out I am an ex-missionary. He cried when I told him what happened and told me how sorry he was for what we went through. THAT was true charity. Then there is this guy
 
Yep. I am used to this from Mormons. He reminds me of the folks who did what he says I lied about

Most true Mormons have told me they are sorry for what happened and that it is not how the LDS Church really is. I accept it. I met once with the local LDS Bishop here who found out I am an ex-missionary. He cried when I told him what happened and told me how sorry he was for what we went through. THAT was true charity. Then there is this guy
It didnt even happen to me and im mad. And as for “this guy”, man I would love to meet him and see if his god/prophet saves him from my wrath (words of course :rolleyes:). Its obvious to me he doesnt understand the meaning of the word liar. I guess he knows everything about everyone and doesnt need to be polite :mad:
 
I think the hardest part is that it has now been 3 years since I first began attending RCIA and digging into things, and I don’t feel much closer to figuring thigs out. I suppose I should get comfortablie with the possibility that I may be old and gray before I figure it out.
I’m a cradle catholic that fell away from the church for many years. The death of my daughter at age 33 put me at the gates of hell. I knew at this point I could not do it alone, I needed Jesus. The first scripture reading that hit me hard was Matt: 7 v 7. When I ask Jesus to help me and to follow his guidance it all came together. I don’t know if this helps you but it was paramont to my falling in Love with my savior Jesus Christ. Keep seeking, keep knocking and the door will be opened. God Bless you.
 
Well, by reading your info I see that you chose Catholicism :). I once questioned which of the two are true, but I read multiple writings from early church fathers and there was no doubt in my mind what-so-ever that The Catholic Church is true. If you ever need any apologetic links, I know a few amazing ones 👍.
I’ve actually been attending RCIA now for almost four years because I can’t make up my mind :). During that time I have read just about every apologetic resource I can get my hands on, but I would be happy to see if you have some resources I have not yet encountered.
I’m a cradle catholic that fell away from the church for many years. The death of my daughter at age 33 put me at the gates of hell. I knew at this point I could not do it alone, I needed Jesus. The first scripture reading that hit me hard was Matt: 7 v 7. When I ask Jesus to help me and to follow his guidance it all came together. I don’t know if this helps you but it was paramont to my falling in Love with my savior Jesus Christ. Keep seeking, keep knocking and the door will be opened. God Bless you.
Thank you for your kind words, Twoshoes. I am sure your daughter is in Christ’s loving embrace.
 
I’ve actually been attending RCIA now for almost four years because I can’t make up my mind :). During that time I have read just about every apologetic resource I can get my hands on, but I would be happy to see if you have some resources I have not yet encountered.

Thank you for your kind words, Twoshoes. I am sure your daughter is in Christ’s loving embrace.
Thank you
 
WOW! Now that you have a presented little bit of “the rest of the story” your accusation has some validity and believability. As I said in a previous post, when limited to one side of the story - especially something as unusual and terrible as your experience - most people will be skeptical and dismiss your experience as a fabrication by someone that is bitter. But with the scales of justice being balanced with, at least a portion, of the other side - the whole picture is changed.

I do apologize for being insensitive to your horrible experience but do appreciate you sharing more.

The reason we have a judicial system, where the plaintiff and defendant are represented, is to hear both sides of the issue. If a prosecutor where to take a case to court and not who up for the hearing, the judge would throw the case out - having only one side represented. Your comment was presented to the court of public opinion and now that both sides are being represented - the scales of understanding are more in balance.

I have never heard of an experience in the LDS church like yours. I hope you can understand my skepticism when I read your blog about the Mormon church (or members) trying to kidnap your children. As I said in a previous response (and I mean it sincerely), I hope their was some civil action you could take against those who made the attempt. With your addendum, I’m sure I would stand with your bishop and those other LDS who were brought to tears. I can only speak for myself that I would probably make a tremendous scene - even at church - if I was aware of such a situation.

For those of you who would believe when only one side is heard, I say that you are the insensitive bystanders. It is easy to show compassion for one who has been dealt with unjustly, but what about the person that dealt the injustice? Are they guilty? Are there circumstances that may change, or soften, your indignation? Why do they feel so threatened that they would have to stoop to such a radical act? Whatever happened, for the presentation on this blog, there are more questions than answers. It is the underlying questions that make me skeptical when hearing something so outrageous. Outrageous, not because this person did not experience what they said - but outrageous because of the act of attempted kidnapping.

One of the problems that we, as Christians, have with the secular world (and among the different denominations of Christianity) is our narrow mindedness on issues. That is not to say that a Christian needs to be liberal in their values and virtues, but not quick to judge others because they have a different point of view; or because others may not display the level of compassion that you believe should.

I have to chuckle (I guess I do that a lot when I hear such as the following post) at kimg901

“It didnt even happen to me and im mad. And as for “this guy”, man I would love to meet
him and see if his god/prophet saves him from my wrath (words of course ). Its obvious
to me he doesnt understand the meaning of the word liar. I guess he knows everything
about everyone and doesnt need to be polite.”
  1. I have a friend that is a truck driver and they have an expression for those who get on the CB and tell someone that has offended them that if they pull over they will get the h__ beat out of them. They don’t even know what highway the person is on and it would be a very stupid trucker that would pull over - not knowing what they will be dealing with. They call them CB Rambos. (Actually, that did happened quite a few years ago and the challenger got out of his truck and was shot to death - it is my understanding, the shooter was never caught. Stupid! Save me from your wrath? It really doesn’t take much for you to become “mad”, does it? This wasn’t even your experience and you’re “mad” - I have this picture of you running around spitting venom for every outrage you observe.
  2. Here is where you prejudice is really transparent. This man was never accused of being a liar. What was said was that his accusation was without merit and I will stand behind that comment for the time since only one side of the issue was being presented. When the other side was represented and the scales of understanding balanced, then - and only then - can an appropriate response be made. If my comment was inappropriate - hearing only one side of the issue, how inappropriate is your indignation hearing only one side of the issue?
  3. God/prophet? What are you talking about? Oh! Yea, the words of ignorance and prejudice flow like a raging river. Who is this God/prophet, to which you refer? The LDS church has never elevated a prophet to that of God. We have never prayed to any prophet. We have never referred to any prophet as anything other than a prophet.
I don’t know any of you and non of you know me. Blogging has great limitations in the communicative process. When two people have a discussion face-to-face, effective communication is very complex and difficult. We tend to hear what we want (filtering those things that do not fall into the slots of what we believe and justify those beliefs) and reject (or attack) what we reject. Typically we do not listen to understand but speak to be understood - wars have been fought because of this kind of lack of understanding.

Then, when a third party is thrown into the process, the difficulty is increased exponentially; and the more that are thrown into the effort of communicating, the more the risk of miscommunication and misunderstanding. The end result is often times anger, threats, and fear of being wrong.

How can a Christian ever expect to have peace in the world when they are not willing to practice peace within their own faith?
 
I have to chuckle (I guess I do that a lot when I hear such as the following post) at kimg901

“It didnt even happen to me and im mad. And as for “this guy”, man I would love to meet
him and see if his god/prophet saves him from my wrath (words of course ). Its obvious
to me he doesnt understand the meaning of the word liar. I guess he knows everything
about everyone and doesnt need to be polite.”
  1. I have a friend that is a truck driver and they have an expression for those who get on the CB and tell someone that has offended them that if they pull over they will get the h__ beat out of them. They don’t even know what highway the person is on and it would be a very stupid trucker that would pull over - not knowing what they will be dealing with. They call them CB Rambos. (Actually, that did happened quite a few years ago and the challenger got out of his truck and was shot to death - it is my understanding, the shooter was never caught. Stupid! Save me from your wrath? It really doesn’t take much for you to become “mad”, does it? This wasn’t even your experience and you’re “mad” - I have this picture of you running around spitting venom for every outrage you observe.
  2. Here is where you prejudice is really transparent. This man was never accused of being a liar. What was said was that his accusation was without merit and I will stand behind that comment for the time since only one side of the issue was being presented. When the other side was represented and the scales of understanding balanced, then - and only then - can an appropriate response be made. If my comment was inappropriate - hearing only one side of the issue, how inappropriate is your indignation hearing only one side of the issue?
  3. God/prophet? What are you talking about? Oh! Yea, the words of ignorance and prejudice flow like a raging river. Who is this God/prophet, to which you refer? The LDS church has never elevated a prophet to that of God. We have never prayed to any prophet. We have never referred to any prophet as anything other than a prophet.
I don’t know any of you and non of you know me. Blogging has great limitations in the communicative process. When two people have a discussion face-to-face, effective communication is very complex and difficult. We tend to hear what we want (filtering those things that do not fall into the slots of what we believe and justify those beliefs) and reject (or attack) what we reject. Typically we do not listen to understand but speak to be understood - wars have been fought because of this kind of lack of understanding.

Then, when a third party is thrown into the process, the difficulty is increased exponentially; and the more that are thrown into the effort of communicating, the more the risk of miscommunication and misunderstanding. The end result is often times anger, threats, and fear of being wrong.

How can a Christian ever expect to have peace in the world when they are not willing to practice peace within their own faith?
Well, well. Would you care to meet me then? We will then see. Also your beliefs believe that you mormon men will become gods hence the god/prophet comment. And your not a christian so dont expect to much.
 
WOW! Now that you have a presented little bit of “the rest of the story” your accusation has some validity and believability. As I said in a previous post, when limited to one side of the story - especially something as unusual and terrible as your experience - most people will be skeptical and dismiss your experience as a fabrication by someone that is bitter. But with the scales of justice being balanced with, at least a portion, of the other side - the whole picture is changed.

You are the first person I have met who has been so dismissive.

I do apologize for being insensitive to your horrible experience but do appreciate you sharing more.

Apology accepted

The reason we have a judicial system, where the plaintiff and defendant are represented, is to hear both sides of the issue. If a prosecutor where to take a case to court and not who up for the hearing, the judge would throw the case out - having only one side represented. Your comment was presented to the court of public opinion and now that both sides are being represented - the scales of understanding are more in balance.

A plaintiff and a prosecutor are two different things. Let me add a little more. I was in law school at the time and worked for the chief judge as a bailiff. He and the DA tried very hard to convince me to file charges for attempted kidnapping. I was President of the Latter Day Saints Student Association at law school when this happened. I left the organization.

I have never heard of an experience in the LDS church like yours. I hope you can understand my skepticism when I read your blog about the Mormon church (or members) trying to kidnap your children. As I said in a previous response (and I mean it sincerely), I hope their was some civil action you could take against those who made the attempt. With your addendum, I’m sure I would stand with your bishop and those other LDS who were brought to tears. I can only speak for myself that I would probably make a tremendous scene - even at church - if I was aware of such a situation.

I was very afraid at the time. I was seldom home as I was in law school full time and worked fulltime. My wife, who I met as an LDS missionary in Honduras, did not speak English. My children were very young. I was very much afraid of retaliation.

For those of you who would believe when only one side is heard, I say that you are the insensitive bystanders. It is easy to show compassion for one who has been dealt with unjustly, but what about the person that dealt the injustice? Are they guilty? Are there circumstances that may change, or soften, your indignation? Why do they feel so threatened that they would have to stoop to such a radical act? Whatever happened, for the presentation on this blog, there are more questions than answers. It is the underlying questions that make me skeptical when hearing something so outrageous. Outrageous, not because this person did not experience what they said - but outrageous because of the act of attempted kidnapping.

I was told it was because I was no longer a fit father for Mormon children.

I have to chuckle (I guess I do that a lot when I hear such as the following post) at kimg901

“It didnt even happen to me and im mad. And as for “this guy”, man I would love to meet
him and see if his god/prophet saves him from my wrath (words of course ). Its obvious
to me he doesnt understand the meaning of the word liar. I guess he knows everything
about everyone and doesnt need to be polite.”
  1. I have a friend that is a truck driver and they have an expression for those who get on the CB and tell someone that has offended them that if they pull over they will get the h__ beat out of them. They don’t even know what highway the person is on and it would be a very stupid trucker that would pull over - not knowing what they will be dealing with. They call them CB Rambos. (Actually, that did happened quite a few years ago and the challenger got out of his truck and was shot to death - it is my understanding, the shooter was never caught. Stupid! Save me from your wrath? It really doesn’t take much for you to become “mad”, does it? This wasn’t even your experience and you’re “mad” - I have this picture of you running around spitting venom for every outrage you observe.
and I have a picture of a person who believed when I said what happened to me and saw you treat me as if I was a liar and then came to my defense
  1. Here is where you prejudice is really transparent. This man was never accused of being a liar.
Actually, you did. Oh, you never used the words…but you absolutely did.

I don’t know any of you and non of you know me. Blogging has great limitations in the communicative process. When two people have a discussion face-to-face, effective communication is very complex and difficult. We tend to hear what we want (filtering those things that do not fall into the slots of what we believe and justify those beliefs) and reject (or attack) what we reject. Typically we do not listen to understand but speak to be understood - wars have been fought because of this kind of lack of understanding.

Then, when a third party is thrown into the process, the difficulty is increased exponentially; and the more that are thrown into the effort of communicating, the more the risk of miscommunication and misunderstanding. The end result is often times anger, threats, and fear of being wrong.

How can a Christian ever expect to have peace in the world when they are not willing to practice peace within their own faith?

and how can there be peace when you come into a forum and call people liars and belittle others who defend them? Just sayin
 
TK, and Kimg,

I agree with everything you said in the above posts.

The only thing I could/would add is the obvious condescension, and derision in the post. It is actually palpable.
 
TK, and Kimg,

I agree with everything you said in the above posts.

The only thing I could/would add is the obvious condescension, and derision in the post. It is actually palpable.
His post or ours Two? I get a little heated sometimes and act like im above others with the tone of my posts but I will not let anyone here talk down to my fellow christians or make them out to be liars.
 
His post or ours Two? I get a little heated sometimes and act like im above others with the tone of my posts but I will not let anyone here talk down to my fellow christians or make them out to be liars.
His is the condescending one. IMHO

It is a behavior that I have seen over and over. When a mormon leaves the fold, it seems that those remaining mormon can’t deal with it, for whatever reason.

There is shunning, gossip, and rumor mongering. I believe I mentioned it in a previous post, but there was a mormon poster on here that stated she didn’t trust anything an exmormon said, just because they are exmmormon.

I have seen the shunning first hand when some of my relatives left. I thought it was hysterical myself. I forced them to talk to my relative…lol. Cornered them in a grocery store, and struck up a conversation they couldn’t get away from. You should have seen the looks I got. 😛

I’m Irish, we don’t get mad, we get even. It’s genetic. :irish3:
 
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