B
Banjo_Boy
Guest
JJ:
Many (if not most) of the replies here have urged that you cut this relationship off immediately and of course the main concern is that it will lead to adultery (something that has occurred to your wife as well). I agree very strongly with this advice and I would simply add that even if it were possible to completely rule out the possibility of physical adultery - to have a spiritually and emotionally intimate relationship with a woman other than your wife, in my opinion, constitutes spiritual or emotional adultery. Just the fact that your wife was uncomfortable (and worse!) with your relationship, should have led you, out of respect for your wife, to end the contact completely. Did the priests who encouraged this SF know of your wife’s feelings and concerns? I do not see how they could condone it if they did. If you need spiritual contact one on one outside your marriage, I would suggest a male SF (someone who will demand accountability) or spiritual direction with a priest.
The deep incongruity between your two posts is also of major concern - in the first, so many problems with your wife and she suspects you and your friend of adultery and now you’re in love - in the second, even your wife seems to love your SF and you and your wife are doing better together. Yet now you fall in love and are questioning the possibilities of your future with your wife?? What is the time frame here? What is the reality? Beware of self-deception here. You are, by your own admission, essentially a neophyte in the spiritual life, and you are now embroiled in a MAJOR spiritual battle. Some of the posters may have been harsh, but as one person said this is a case of being pushed out of the way of an oncoming bus. Take the bruises like the man that you are and realize that maybe some felt the roughness was necessary to save your life - don’t blame them and then run back into traffic!
Based on what you have said, it seems that you and your friend have crossed a boundary in being so intimate together spiritually and emotionally. And now you have the “feelings” that prove it - what may have started as a virtuous friendship is quickly moving towards a carnal friendship - mainly to the imprudence of you and your friend in spending so much time together in emotional and spiritual intimacy, that for a married man is only appropriate one on one with his wife.
I urge you to end this friendship now, and whatever you do, DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIEND OF YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS HER. It may be that she has felt some of the same things and this will only add fuel to the fire. If she is a true SF, she will understand that you have other priorities and will appreciate your prudence and desire not to give even the slightest appearance of scandal.
I will pray for you.
Many (if not most) of the replies here have urged that you cut this relationship off immediately and of course the main concern is that it will lead to adultery (something that has occurred to your wife as well). I agree very strongly with this advice and I would simply add that even if it were possible to completely rule out the possibility of physical adultery - to have a spiritually and emotionally intimate relationship with a woman other than your wife, in my opinion, constitutes spiritual or emotional adultery. Just the fact that your wife was uncomfortable (and worse!) with your relationship, should have led you, out of respect for your wife, to end the contact completely. Did the priests who encouraged this SF know of your wife’s feelings and concerns? I do not see how they could condone it if they did. If you need spiritual contact one on one outside your marriage, I would suggest a male SF (someone who will demand accountability) or spiritual direction with a priest.
The deep incongruity between your two posts is also of major concern - in the first, so many problems with your wife and she suspects you and your friend of adultery and now you’re in love - in the second, even your wife seems to love your SF and you and your wife are doing better together. Yet now you fall in love and are questioning the possibilities of your future with your wife?? What is the time frame here? What is the reality? Beware of self-deception here. You are, by your own admission, essentially a neophyte in the spiritual life, and you are now embroiled in a MAJOR spiritual battle. Some of the posters may have been harsh, but as one person said this is a case of being pushed out of the way of an oncoming bus. Take the bruises like the man that you are and realize that maybe some felt the roughness was necessary to save your life - don’t blame them and then run back into traffic!
Based on what you have said, it seems that you and your friend have crossed a boundary in being so intimate together spiritually and emotionally. And now you have the “feelings” that prove it - what may have started as a virtuous friendship is quickly moving towards a carnal friendship - mainly to the imprudence of you and your friend in spending so much time together in emotional and spiritual intimacy, that for a married man is only appropriate one on one with his wife.
I urge you to end this friendship now, and whatever you do, DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIEND OF YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS HER. It may be that she has felt some of the same things and this will only add fuel to the fire. If she is a true SF, she will understand that you have other priorities and will appreciate your prudence and desire not to give even the slightest appearance of scandal.
I will pray for you.