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Kendy
Guest
Well, I just mean it is not an issue in her life, and not an issue for most women in America.
Kendy
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Kendy
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Unexpected_Dawn
Guest
“Girl crushes”? Yuck. What ever happened to “admiration”? And I think there are a whole lot of women in the world more admirable than movie stars and musicians. 
As for the first example, it’s a video game ad. And it’s a fact that in some video games, as in real life, women are heroines. And it’s not necessarily because men are weak (although that is the case sometimes). I’ve been blessed to have men in my life who aren’t afraid to let me know how much better they and their lives are because of me and my unique character and abilities. Everyone from my father (who is my greatest hero), to my late fiance (the only man I’ve ever met so far who’s been worthy being my husband and father of my children), to complete strangers who have benefitted from my professional skills or personal charity.
Two of my biggest goals in life are to be a wife and mother, but I’m also more than that, and I’ve already achieved plenty of other goals in the meantime. And not just any man is going to have me as his wife and father of his children, just by virtue of his being a man. Men like my father and my late fiance would be up in arms against anyone who thought that. Any man who differs from my father and late fiance is automatically out of the running. If I never find another man who can be a good husband, then so be it. If I do become a wife and mother, and find that my outside work compromises that, then I’ll do whatever I must to mend the situation. But I’m not going to blindly trade my profession for being a wife and mother just because anyone says I should, or suggest that I’ll be a more worthy woman if I do.
The important thing to remember when considering the sexes is that equal does not mean same, and different does not mean inequal. Members of the same gender differ significantly. Some women are called to be single professionals who serve the greater good… some are called to be stay at home mothers… some are called to do both… some are called to religious life. They themselves are called to these things by God. Men don’t get a say, nor do other women. What it comes down to is that each man and woman is an individual, both different and equal. Don’t want to take my word for it? Read St. Josemaria Escriva–perhaps starting here
So… basically I resent any man or woman who would presume to tell me how I should live my life, or judge my value as a woman or a human being. I resent both equally!
As for the first example, it’s a video game ad. And it’s a fact that in some video games, as in real life, women are heroines. And it’s not necessarily because men are weak (although that is the case sometimes). I’ve been blessed to have men in my life who aren’t afraid to let me know how much better they and their lives are because of me and my unique character and abilities. Everyone from my father (who is my greatest hero), to my late fiance (the only man I’ve ever met so far who’s been worthy being my husband and father of my children), to complete strangers who have benefitted from my professional skills or personal charity.
Two of my biggest goals in life are to be a wife and mother, but I’m also more than that, and I’ve already achieved plenty of other goals in the meantime. And not just any man is going to have me as his wife and father of his children, just by virtue of his being a man. Men like my father and my late fiance would be up in arms against anyone who thought that. Any man who differs from my father and late fiance is automatically out of the running. If I never find another man who can be a good husband, then so be it. If I do become a wife and mother, and find that my outside work compromises that, then I’ll do whatever I must to mend the situation. But I’m not going to blindly trade my profession for being a wife and mother just because anyone says I should, or suggest that I’ll be a more worthy woman if I do.
The important thing to remember when considering the sexes is that equal does not mean same, and different does not mean inequal. Members of the same gender differ significantly. Some women are called to be single professionals who serve the greater good… some are called to be stay at home mothers… some are called to do both… some are called to religious life. They themselves are called to these things by God. Men don’t get a say, nor do other women. What it comes down to is that each man and woman is an individual, both different and equal. Don’t want to take my word for it? Read St. Josemaria Escriva–perhaps starting here
So… basically I resent any man or woman who would presume to tell me how I should live my life, or judge my value as a woman or a human being. I resent both equally!
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Unexpected_Dawn
Guest
Today, women have their own perfectly good households without men present. I know I do. In my experience, we have much better households than bachelors. And today, most men are perfectly fine with that! And women are too, because they know implicitly that they are more gifted in such matters as financial management, purchasing decisions, nutrition, sanitation, decoration, assessing maintenance needs, etc. In all seriousness, I think it all comes down to the skill of multi-tasking. And in all seriousness, I know few men who have mastered it–or even tried. Maybe men just worked harder in Biblical times, or maybe homes were just less complicated, I don’t know.
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SeekerJen
Guest
What if a woman is infertile and didn’t discover this until after the marriage? And what if this woman has brains and talent in medical research and has the opportunity to go to school for a PhD, all expenses paid? Should she stay home then?I guess I’m one of them.
This is my reality. I don’t get the choice to have babies if it’s not God’s will. Since that has been taken away from me, why should I hide everything else under a bushel basket and sit at home alone all day simply because I am a woman?
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ridesawhitehors
Guest
I just wanted to chime in to say that I have a gurl crush on Kelly Clarkson. Does that make me a feminist?
Does that make me a feminist?
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JimG
Guest
So if a guy was flipping through the Cosmogirl magazine, could he have a girl crush too?
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mikew262
Guest
Like it or not, the concept of the male being the “head of the household” is slowly dying out. The new concept is that the male/female (this is questionable too these days, but that’s another thread), share 50/50, the responsibilty of the household.
JSmitty, it may take you a long time to find a wife if you keep that attitude.
J
JSmitty2005
Guest
All I can do is echo B16’s words as Cardinal Ratzinger:Like it or not, the concept of the male being the “head of the household” is slowly dying out. The new concept is that the male/female (this is questionable too these days, but that’s another thread), share 50/50, the responsibilty of the household.
JSmitty, it may take you a long time to find a wife if you keep that attitude.
“Truth is not determined by a majority vote.”
So what if it is “dying out”? Does that mean that it’s wrong? Respect for human life is “dying out,” so I guess we should just go along with the culture and be pro death. BTW, I already have a beautiful girlfriend and we plan on getting married. She shares my views from top to bottom. We plan on having many children and she has said that she WANTS to stay home to care for them. Also, YOU’RE WRONG because trends are showing that more and more younger women are deciding to fill the more traditional roles of wives and mothers. Most likely because they experienced the rotten fruit of their mothers’ lack of presence in their lives.
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mikew262
Guest
First off, congrats on your wedding plans. Yes, it’s important for you and your future wife to be on the same wavelength; as long as you are, that’s a good thing.
There is nothing wrong with women who want to stay home and raise kids and not work. If you can financially handle it, that’s great, if that’s what they want. However, I’m not convinced that is an up and coming trend (in fact I think it’s the opposite). I’d like to see some stats on that.
I do take some offense at your statement concerning a mother not staying home equating to rotten fruit. This is “hooey”. My wife worked part of the time and we successfully raised 2 daughters. Financially, we had to have 2 incomes, and plus she wanted to work. The majority of middle class families have both parents working, and the majority of them raise good wholesome children. Many wives would prefer to stay home, but their financial situations won’t permit it. Too make a blanket statement like this is wrong and inaccurate.
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Kendy
Guest
First, I don’t think we should conflate the issue of women staying at home with their children to having a hierarchical authority structure between the spouses. They are too separate issues.
Second, I think you are exaggerating the number of women who are dropping out of the workforce all together. I couldn’t pull up numbers quickly, but last time I read there had only been a slight (less than 5% from 1980) decline in the participation of women in the workforce, and mostly, women were only leaving the workforce temporarily while they had young children.
Anyway, that’s really not an issue for me. I certainly don’t want to diminish the work of women who stay at home with their children. However, I think you should refrain from denegrating working moms. I know lots of people who grew up with working moms; I don’t know that any who resent their mothers, and think their childhood was rotten.
Kendy
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JSmitty2005
Guest
Of course you’re not. Look at the age you grew up in, the 6660’s, as I like to call them. Just a few months ago, this was the cover story of Time or some other liberal magazine, so that shows you how true it must be considering it goes contrary to their bias.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to do, but I would suggest that you read Kate O’Beirn’s book before you go around acting like working mothers is a good thing.
Read my prior post (#5).
Maybe you were wrong for saying that I am wrong and not reading all that I’ve written.
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JSmitty2005
Guest
That’s fine. That’s what my girlfriend plans on doing. She’s in school now to become a teacher, but won’t actually do it till we’re done having kids.
I don’t think that I’ve denegrated working mothers and if I have, it’s not what I intended. I’m simply saying that it is certainly preferable for mothers to stay at home with their kids. In our society, like I said (once again) in post #5, that’s not always possible. But if it were, there is no reason why a woman shouldn’t stay home if she had children. As far as the working-mom generation producing rotten fruit, I once again point to Kate O’Beirn’s book. Also, I would recommend Alice von Hildebrand’s Privilege of Being a Woman.
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Unexpected_Dawn
Guest
Rotten fruit? Lack of presence? Not in my family! My sister and I have always been in awe of not only our mother, but grandmothers, aunts, and female cousins who have worked outside and been superb wives and mothers. Our fathers have had it awfully good too, I might add. There has never been divorce in our family, there has never been dysfunction in our family, there has never been poverty in our family, there has never been failure at school or work in our family. In our eyes, our mothers showed us there is nothing we can’t do. And we’re proving it.
If men don’t like it, they’re free to look elsewhere–but frankly, there are lots of men out there who are all for having a second income and someone to take care of the household and the kids. I know that for a fact, and I accept it. I wouldn’t want to get married and have kids at all, if I was not willing to take it on. But if you have a problem with it, if you want to see more men being heads of households, maybe you’d better get to work bringing your fellow men up to standard, rather than trying to hold women down. It’s not a one-sided problem, you know.
At best, though, you might get men up to about 40-50% of the household duties. In which case you’d be a hero to married working mothers everywhere!
Not the effect you’d be going for, I’m sure, but in my opinion the best you could hope for.
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JSmitty2005
Guest
Unexpected Dawn:
I’ve never done such a thing.
J
JMJ_Theresa
Guest
wow, there are a lot of strong feelings on this thread.
First, establish that our goal in this life is ultimately not career or SAHM, but to become holy–to know, love, and serve God.
Secondly, consider that as Catholics, we are called to love God first and neighbors second. My nine year old son says “JOY-Jesus first, others second, yourself last.” This calling means that we must be servants–of course this could also mean servant leaders.
In the third place, we are specifically called to be servants to the people that God places in our lives. For most women this is her husband and children. Conversely, for a man this is his wife and children. For singles, this would include the outer circle of family, friends, parish, community.
We are only stewards of the gifts that God gives us. They are meant so that we use them to glorify God. We don’t glorify God by successful careers alone, but by careers that serve God.
Once you understand all this, then you make your decisions based on that criteria. That means even a job must be oriented to that means.
Considering the nature of dependency of children, the best place for a mom is in proximity to her children. However, we must all do our best with the lot we are given.
I think that the feminist attitude in media is so noticable in part because there is so little to support SAHM. You rarely see an article that even mentions at home wives and moms. When you do, it is assumed that that mom will be returning to the workforce when her kids enter school.
As Catholics, we should be training our children for marriage from a very young age by instructing them on the theology of the family as well as practical skills such as home management, basic repairs, managing finances, etc. That is for both sexes.
I wouldn’t want my daughters to read pop. magazines. They are so slanted with a perverse depiction of feminity.
First, establish that our goal in this life is ultimately not career or SAHM, but to become holy–to know, love, and serve God.
Secondly, consider that as Catholics, we are called to love God first and neighbors second. My nine year old son says “JOY-Jesus first, others second, yourself last.” This calling means that we must be servants–of course this could also mean servant leaders.
In the third place, we are specifically called to be servants to the people that God places in our lives. For most women this is her husband and children. Conversely, for a man this is his wife and children. For singles, this would include the outer circle of family, friends, parish, community.
We are only stewards of the gifts that God gives us. They are meant so that we use them to glorify God. We don’t glorify God by successful careers alone, but by careers that serve God.
Once you understand all this, then you make your decisions based on that criteria. That means even a job must be oriented to that means.
Considering the nature of dependency of children, the best place for a mom is in proximity to her children. However, we must all do our best with the lot we are given.
I think that the feminist attitude in media is so noticable in part because there is so little to support SAHM. You rarely see an article that even mentions at home wives and moms. When you do, it is assumed that that mom will be returning to the workforce when her kids enter school.
As Catholics, we should be training our children for marriage from a very young age by instructing them on the theology of the family as well as practical skills such as home management, basic repairs, managing finances, etc. That is for both sexes.
I wouldn’t want my daughters to read pop. magazines. They are so slanted with a perverse depiction of feminity.
J
JSmitty2005
Guest
JMJ Theresa:
I wouldn’t say that in this thread :tsktsk: , you might get your head bitten off.
:bigyikes:
I wouldn’t say that in this thread :tsktsk: , you might get your head bitten off.
J
JSmitty2005
Guest
JMJ Theresa:
In fact, feminism isn’t really feminine at all. It seeks a conflation of the sexes whereby women are masculinized and men are feminized. It’s completely unnatural and I will oppose it till my dying breath.
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JMJ_Theresa
Guest
I’ll take my chances.:bigyikes:
I wouldn’t say that in this thread :tsktsk: , you might get your head bitten off.
How’s your neck, by the way?
M
mikew262
Guest
I missed your Post #5, so I’ll retract what I said regarding that.Of course you’re not. Look at the age you grew up in, the 6660’s, as I like to call them. Just a few months ago, this was the cover story of Time or some other liberal magazine, so that shows you how true it must be considering it goes contrary to their bias.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to do, but I would suggest that you read Kate O’Beirn’s book before you go around acting like working mothers is a good thing.
Read my prior post (#5).
Concerning, whether its a trend or not that women are wanting to say home (as you say), I’m still waiting on some stats. Concerning the time I grew up (and before), it was more natural for women to stay home, that was the culture of the time. In the 70’s that started to change.
After a quick Google search and review, Kate O’Beirn appears to be very conservative and anti-feminist. As such, her opinions are on the far right, thus very biased. I have a conservative lean as well, but not as far as she appears to be. I lived/grew up in the 70s and 80s where many wives worked outside of the home. Being only 20 yrs old, you have no actual experience to fall back on (that I’m aware of), only what you read and hear. As I stated before, the vast majority of children raised by 2 parents working ended up just fine.
I will admit having 1 parent at home with a child while they are growing up is generally a more positive thing. However, both parents working is not a receipe for disaster either. This comes from actual experience, not reading something in a book.
J
JSmitty2005
Guest
JMJ Theresa:
)
*it’s ironic that mothers are really most powerful when they spend their time shaping the minds of tomorrow
This is something that is hard for capitalistic Americans to come to grips with. In fact, it took me a while to realize it too. This is really the root of feminism though. Men fell into the trap first. They began believing that you are fulfilled in what you do. This is completely contrary to the Gospel. We are fulfilled in who we are, not in what we do. Women, fell into this fallacy later because they are naturally not as power hungry* as men (until recently) and usually have more of a backbone. They feel that in order to achieve equality that the differences between men and women must be done away with. So, they reject any kind of “roles.” It’s really quite absurd. Men and women are different not only biologically but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, so there will naturally be things that the majority of men are generally better at than women and vice versa. Anyways, the bottom line is that we are fulfilled in who we are and not in what our career is. Until you recognize that, then none of you will ever see where I’m coming from (as well as the Church and most of your ancestors
)*it’s ironic that mothers are really most powerful when they spend their time shaping the minds of tomorrow
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