Friend getting an abortion on friday, need help ASAP!

[Tarek_Chidiac]

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.

 

[tbcrawford]

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.

Lord we offer our prayers for the souls of mother and baby Amen

 

[Jenny_Z]

I got a PM from Charlotte, she has no idea what happened because the family cut her (Charlotte) off. She might not ever find out what happened, but from the sound of it, sounds to me like she probably went through with it.

Not sure why Charlotte didn’t say anything, I didn’t get a PM back when I asked.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

I got a PM from Charlotte, she has no idea what happened because the family cut her (Charlotte) off. She might not ever find out what happened, but from the sound of it, sounds to me like she probably went through with it.

Not sure why Charlotte didn’t say anything, I didn’t get a PM back when I asked.

Not surprising, since she insinuated her friend’s situation and her friend’s decision was comparable to Nazism in her last email to her.

 

[Brenda_V]

Not surprising, since she insinuated her friend’s situation and her friend’s decision was comparable to Nazism in her last email to her.

Angel - she was not a trained counselor so she had no idea how to approach this. We should all have learned something here. The mom is scared for whatever reason and if you have ever been scared you know that it isn’t always for good reasons. Address the fear and you have a better chance of helping both the mom and the baby, start accusing her of nasty intentions and, well you could lose her or those who are encouraging her will keep her away from you. I believe this is far more what happened here, Charlotte did her best and the family thought it was horrible so they isolated friend and are still keeping her from them.

Let us pray for all who have situations like Charlotte found herself in and for all mothers of dead babies whether it is intentional or spontaneous (miscarriage).

Please folks who are praying keep it up but lets change this from a specific person to all who find themselves in her situation and with her thought processes.

Brenda V.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Angel - she was not a trained counselor so she had no idea how to approach this. .

She was told how to approach this. She was told to offer her friend love and to try to get her to a trained counselor. She rejected that advice.

And then she didn’t even come back and thank the people who supported her and prayed for her, but we all need to tip toe around her.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

standtrue.com/pages/commentaries/tq4.htm

 

[Brenda_V]

She was told how to approach this. She was told to offer her friend love and to try to get her to a trained counselor. She rejected that advice.

And then she didn’t even come back and thank the people who supported her and prayed for her, but we all need to tip toe around her.

She had already gone the “how could you kill your baby route”. By the time she got the advise we gave her (and yes I was one to tell her to get her friend to a CPC) she was denied access to her friend.

This is why I want us to pray for all who find themselves in her position so they don’t start with the “hitler, nazi, how dare you kill your baby” and instead go the other route.

I am not saying we need to tip-toe around her either but she at least hasn’t responded back to this thread so I don’t even know if she is reading it so anything more we can say won’t help her. Let’s use this as a learning experience for those who are reading this thread that we must take the fears of the abortion minded person into account first, address those fears and you may very well save her from killing her child.

Brenda V.

 

[Angels_Unaware]

She had already gone the “how could you kill your baby route”. By the time she got the advise we gave her (and yes I was one to tell her to get her friend to a CPC) she was denied access to her friend.

This is why I want us to pray for all who find themselves in her position so they don’t start with the “hitler, nazi, how dare you kill your baby” and instead go the other route.

I am not saying we need to tip-toe around her either but she at least hasn’t responded back to this thread so I don’t even know if she is reading it so anything more we can say won’t help her. Let’s use this as a learning experience for those who are reading this thread that we must take the fears of the abortion minded person into account first, address those fears and you may very well save her from killing her child.

Brenda V.

What’s done is done, and it sounds like the friendship is permanently damaged. There’s no point in re-hashing when she got the advice, and whether she had time before she sent the Nazi metaphor, but I do recall what I said to her, and I know I felt she was completely dismissive of the advice, which I found very irritating.

It isn’t necessary to be a professional counselor to simply approach people from a place of sensitivity and empathy rather than “you’re crazy, you’re wrong, don’t you know how babies are made?”, which Charlotte said a few times in her posts. This link (below) is the best advice I’ve ever seen on handling these situations, from someone who has been there.

standtrue.com/pages/commentaries/tq4.htm

 

[Tarek_Chidiac]

Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come;
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.

 

[preV2tradcath]

Included in these prayers are some for Charlotte also.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

 

[sidhe54]

Praying she recognized the life within, in time, changed her mind and decided to accept God’s plan in her life. And that all, in the same position, accept the baby within as a living being and go forward cherishing life as Jesus does, rejecting the culture of death.

Praying for Charlotte as well…

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now,
and at the hour of our death. Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen

 

[estesbob]

Not surprising, since she insinuated her friend’s situation and her friend’s decision was comparable to Nazism in her last email to her.

Hopefully you are not suggesti8ng Charolotte is any way responsible for this persons abortion?

 

[whatevergirl]

*Charlotte…we’re praying for your friend…I hope she didn’t go through with the abortion. I hope you are ok, too…please let us know what happened, when you can. *

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Hopefully you are not suggesti8ng Charolotte is any way responsible for this persons abortion?

Of course not. Why would stating a clear truth be intepreted as implying personal blame on Charlotte’s part for the abortion? She is not responsible for the abortion, but she is responsible for alienating her friend, however well-intentioned she thought the Nazi metaphor was. The link I posted summarized exactly what I was suggesting.

This is a common error in the pro-life community in general. For some reason there is this idea that it is ok to righteously criticize those who are seeking abortions, but it is not ok to criticize anyone who is involved in speaking with those women. If you cannot take the perspective of the person who is making this choice, then you will never be able to help prevent those choices from being made. From the perspective of the friend in this story, the friend was vulnerable, and someone she trusted enough to tell her story was judgemental.

Charlotte just wanted her baby to live, but her friend couldn’t hear that, partially, maybe, because Charlotte couldn’t hear that the way she was approaching the situation wouldn’t work. Obviously, even if Charlotte had said all the right things her friend may still have had the abortion. And yet, she still might have the friendship, and she still might have been able to direct her friend back to God. Now, how does this friend feel about “religous people”.

 

[whatevergirl]

*How did this thread turn into a debate?

Charlotte, I’m sure, will be back…she is probably busy. Let’s keep praying for her friend. Nothing is ever impossible with the power of prayer, with God!*

 

[Angels_Unaware]

*How did this thread turn into a debate?

Charlotte, I’m sure, will be back…she is probably busy. Let’s keep praying for her friend. Nothing is ever impossible with the power of prayer, with God!*

When she didn’t come back to the thread, it ceased to be about her, and became how to approach people having abortions? She posted on other threads today, so it doesn’t look like she’s interested in talking any more about her situation.

It is hard to be the friend. It isn’t easy to say the right things. But it is important to say that the Holy Spirit is the one who prevents abortions, not us, but through us, by showing women hope and mercy and the potential to have their life healed along with their baby saved. Sometimes women don’t reach out for that mercy until after they have made a tragic decision, which means they still need a relationship with a Christian person even if they make a decision we know is horrible and cannot imagine making ourselves.

 

[Brenda_V]

When she didn’t come back to the thread, it ceased to be about her, and became how to approach people having abortions? She posted on other threads today, so it doesn’t look like she’s interested in talking any more about her situation.

It is hard to be the friend. It isn’t easy to say the right things. But it is important to say that the Holy Spirit is the one who prevents abortions, not us, but through us, by showing women hope and mercy and the potential to have their life healed along with their baby saved. Sometimes women don’t reach out for that mercy until after they have made a tragic decision, which means they still need a relationship with a Christian person even if they make a decision we know is horrible and cannot imagine making ourselves.

Angel - I do believe you and I are saying the same thing . We both agree that when talking to a friend who is abortion minded we must us compassion. Before we can help someone like this we need to understand where they are coming from and talk to them from that place.

Oh, and I was not saying someone had to be a professional, just that some of us have had further training even if it is reading how to approach these women. Also, for me many are women I don’t know personally and thus my friendship is not in trouble over the discussion (although I have friends who are post abortive and until they are ready to admit that there was something they could have done otherwise, I will listen to them and gently tell them what could have been done.)

I did not catch when the OP denied your advise, that was her bad but the timing could have just been off.

As for how this thread changed directions, I think it is really only between Angel and myself and really we agree more than either of us probably realizes. I had also asked that those who are continuing a prayer post include other women and girls finding themselves in a similar situation (you have noticed two or three who post a daily prayer right?)

Brenda V.

 

[whatevergirl]

Angel - I do believe you and I are saying the same thing . We both agree that when talking to a friend who is abortion minded we must us compassion. Before we can help someone like this we need to understand where they are coming from and talk to them from that place.

Oh, and I was not saying someone had to be a professional, just that some of us have had further training even if it is reading how to approach these women. Also, for me many are women I don’t know personally and thus my friendship is not in trouble over the discussion (although I have friends who are post abortive and until they are ready to admit that there was something they could have done otherwise, I will listen to them and gently tell them what could have been done.)

I did not catch when the OP denied your advise, that was her bad but the timing could have just been off.

As for how this thread changed directions, I think it is really only between Angel and myself and really we agree more than either of us probably realizes. I had also asked that those who are continuing a prayer post include other women and girls finding themselves in a similar situation (you have noticed two or three who post a daily prayer right?)

Brenda V.

*Yes, praying for all to choose life. *

 

[Brenda_V]

*Yes, praying for all to choose life. *

Yes but also to send the Holy Spirit to all those who find themselves in the position Charlotte found herself in so that the right words can be spoken and compassion can be felt.

Brenda V.