Frustration in being continuously told "its just a date"

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Lara said:
The solution for the OP is money and status.
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That is a minor help. I think there was a study where women were rating men based on likelihood for dating them and for every inch under 6’ the women wanted him to make an extra $20,000/yr lol.

Edit:

I am NOT saying all women are like this. There are millions of men under 6’ with normal jobs that have wives and girlfriends. Heck, I knew a guy whp was 5’5" who had a wife and two kids. Granted he didn’t have the best relationship but that was due to other stuff.

It is indicative though of how little money means as an attractor.
 
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MarlboroMan said:
I can’t really argue with someone who is going to hyperfocus on the worst parts of a thing and pretend they are all that it is.
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Except I didn’t. I acknowledged that beneath all the silly lingo there are bits of truth scattered here and there, and I acknowledged that the examples everyone was laughing at were probably selected because they were extreme.
 
MarlboroMan said:
Also you know what, I’m kind of tired of running down men who struggle with women as “dorks” simply because they don’t fit into the gynocentric standards of today. I used it as an example because BoomBoomMancini called them dorks, but it really is rude.
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It’s not dorky to struggle with women, particularly if the person is struggling because of something outside their control like a social disorder or an extreme physical abnormality. It IS dorky to dive into a subculture based on trying to use Jedi mind tricks on women.
 
Lara said:
The single most important criteria for having a good life to a woman is marrying well. I know this from personal experience. Every woman I know who married well is sitting pretty in a nice home with kids. Her career is more of an add-on than essential. So it stands to reason she is going to summarize you in under five minutes before she is going to err and get caught up with less than marriage material.

The solution for the OP is money and status. Double your income and double your prospects. It will trump religion, looks, family dysfunction etc… Earn more money.
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This in itself will not create a happy marriage or relationship. I’m a woman and this is not the first thing on my mind when considering a man as a potential partner. I do like a certain amount of education simply because that is a better match for me (but teacher vs doctor … no, honestly, don’t care). At age 20, I would have considered any guy pursuing a degree on campus to be a reasonable match as far as being successful enough. He’s likely going to find a job above minimum wage.
 
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CrangesMcBasketball said:
I’ve posted on an incel forum before, and as soon as the regulars realized I was a “foid” I was on the the receiving end of a barrage of horrible, horrible verbal abuse.
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Well yeah if you waltz into WizardChan saying you’re a girl you’re gonna get some hate. But go onto R9K and you’ll actually get maybe one or two insults and 50+ lonely robots asking you to be their e-gf

If I went into WizardChan I’d get hate. Anyone who has ever been smiled at by a girl is going to get hate there. It comes with the territory. These are lonely, broken guys, and your presence there hurts them.

Lot’s of ideologies have inspired murders, including feminism. Not an argument.
 
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MarlboroMan said:
I agree. But that’s not helpful advice, so if that is all you have then of course “dorks” are going to look elsewhere.

Also you know what, I’m kind of tired of running down men who struggle with women as “dorks” simply because they don’t fit into the gynocentric standards of today. I used it as an example because BoomBoomMancini called them dorks, but it really is rude.

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PetraG:
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Plenty of helpful advice has been given. Get a good job, have good friendships, be in good health, and things tend to work out.

This ain’t rocket surgery. Plenty of nerds like myself married well without resorting to a bunch of PUA crap.
 
If you’re accusing Incels of being mysogynists then I’m not going to argue with you. They are miserable people lol, but they do create some of the dankest memes AND they can be fun to talk to if you have a very thick skin. Most girls don’t care about dank memes and most girls can’t handle the heat a hyper-masculine community pushes out.

My only problem is with the blanket condemnation of incels. Some of them are just really lonely and are actually very nice people who don’t hate women at all. They have some terrible misconceptions, but no real hatred.

But this is off topic, so I’ll let you have the last word.
 
Lord knows I’m no Casanova, but I have had successful relationships and am currently in a good one, and am also quite good at managing to avoid awkward rejections. So here are my 2c. This has worked for me, other things work for other people.

First off, I have never had success online dating. I think so much of attraction is unexpected, not something you can find by comparing resumes. My philosophy is that you meet good matches by living a socially active lifestyle doing things your good matches do. Join a running club. Browse meetup.com for groups you’re interested in. Ask around at work to see if anyone has groups they do. A lot of this will involve having to be kind of brave and being the new guy. But this way you can allow chemistry to happen.

So do this for a while, be patient, and eventually you will meet someone you hit it off with. You can gauge if they are single and build up some rapport. Then, this is what I usually do: talk about restaurants. Ask if she knows any good ones around. Then ask if she’d want to go there with you. This is pretty natural and also pretty obvious what you’re doing so it gives her time to think about it. so if shes not into you in that way she will find a way to steer you off that course in a way that prevents embarrassment.

You dont have to do that exactly but the general idea is to find a way to be clear that you’re interested and also have escape plans.
 
MarlboroMan said:
My only problem is with the blanket condemnation of incels. Some of them are just really lonely and are actually very nice people who don’t hate women at all. They have some terrible misconceptions, but no real hatred.
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I think we just have to distinguish between individual incels and “incel” as a philisophy. The philosophy is hot garbage: entitlement, self-pity, and resentment all curdled into an awful concoction.

Individuals, of course, might turn to it out of some pain or brokenness that isn’t really their fault. They might believe some crazy nonsense but not really be culpable for it. I’m sure there are some guys in the Klan who aren’t really bad people at their core but are just unconsciously trying to win the approval of their abusive, racist stepdad.
 
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As far as why a date can ruin a froendship, I used to not understand that until I rejected a girl who was interested in me. It makes things kind of awkward, I dont know why exactly. Just a fact of life. But most people you ask out you’ll not have to deal with again.
 
‘Most girls’ ‘most girls can’t handle … ’. You speak about us as if we’re another species. You come across as a troll, mate. Please Stop trying to seek attention in negative ways.
 
halogirl said:
‘Most girls’ ‘most girls can’t handle … ’. You speak about us as if we’re another species. You come across as a troll, mate. Please Stop trying to seek attention in negative ways.
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Well, I do hear y’all are from Venus.
 
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Also OP if you are getting decent date acceptance rates but bad second date renewals that suggests your first date game is bad, not your personality or appearance. Which is encouraging! Because you can improve your first date game.
 
You’re making a lot of assumptions about my origins.

This schtick has failed. Carry on.
 
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