Frustration in being continuously told "its just a date"

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Me too, most of my closest friends are men. They’re all decent people who support women and don’t act like we are a different species
 
This is hard, for you, and I’m not sure it’s an easy question to answer at all.

I would put forth ONE possible explanation…

God may not will you be married. It’s simply not God’s plan for you. And this is why women are turning you down. There really could be many possible explanations.

I’ve not read prior replies, but I’m sure posters have requested more information from you, to help best answer what might be happening here.

I would recommend a book for you that is good for anyone to read. It’s called “Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence” by Fr. jean baptiste saint-jure.

Pax Chrisit.
 
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halogirl said:
OP, just concentrate on being friends with girls for now
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This!
Speaking from a rather “date-less” culture, I grew up with the custom that friends get together in larger mixed groups. Sometimes two people in such a group make very good friends and spend more time together, romance included. If you don´t have such friends, alternative circles are hobbies, universities, etc.
I think I met my now-husband more than 10 times in a larger group where we still had space to talk rather privately (lunch, parties etc) before we even thought about “dating”.
 
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alice24 said:
I grew up with the custom that friends get together in larger mixed groups.
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That was my experience in college, too. We had a strong Catholic community with a large number of people. So just going to chapel events, Mass, retreats, etc. provided ample opportunities for socializing and getting to know a lot of people—girls included. Any dates or girlfriends I ever had came from that.

From what the OP said (unless I’m reading it wrong), it sounds like he is part of a large group of Catholics, too. If that is where he finds himself, I would encourage him to just embrace the opportunities for social interaction and take a break from asking girls out on dates.
 
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Joe_5859 said:
That was my experience in college, too. We had a strong Catholic community with a large number of people. So just going to chapel events, Mass, retreats, etc. provided ample opportunities for socializing and getting to know a lot of people—girls included. Any dates or girlfriends I ever had came from that.
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This seems so far away from what I’ve experienced at (private Catholic) college. I go to daily mass every day with multiple girls there, say rosary and divine mercy Chaplet and read from the Bible daily in chapel and girls are there sometimes, run a pro-life group on campus and many girls come, and am part of music ministry and Bible study with many girls present at both.

As I am an extrovert, dress well, and am funny I don’t have a problem starting conversations with women, but they always seem to think I’m just being funny and then after some laughs they leave and don’t talk to me at all around campus or at the dining hall until the next Religious get together.

One of my big struggles is pridefulness/envy because I have a tendency to think I’m “holier than thou” and get pissed off when nobody seems to care. I would of thought Catholic girls at a college would be interested in a very active Catholic guy who dresses well, has nice hair, and is funny… but they couldn’t care less. This all said, I over analyze things way too much and I think women might be picking up on that. Seems to me everyone already has their “cliques” in these religious circles and I’m on the outside looking in
 
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Are you perhaps one of those religious people who is incapable of talking about anything other than religion? Maybe they’re thinking a night out with you will be a four hour long discussion of theology.
 
Well I can talk about sports and politics and joke around a bit… but yeah basically…

The girl I was interested in at daily mass, she was always very friendly and smiling and sat right next to me so I’d talk to her briefly about something I heard in a homily or read or listened to or about the priest ordination I went to. I’ve done this with multiple girls at these clubs and such. Figured they would be interested in a guy who knows religious stuff? No??
 
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Night out with me probably would be to be honest… because idk what else to talk about. All my male friends (and my roommates) say I talk about religious stuff too much
 
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Steak is good.

Eating steak for every meal for the rest of your life would be daunting.

The holiest people I know have conversations about hobbies and secular books and secular movies and secular bands and food and local happenings.
 
It’s probably your cologne

-----------------jk--------------------
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Figured they would be interested in a guy who knows religious stuff? No??
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Yeah, but all things in balance. Being interested in religion is great, but it’s a bit “heavy” for a first date. You don’t want to look like an obsessive. If they see you at Mass regularly presumably they know you’re actively Catholic. There’s no need to show up covered in crucifixes and telling everyone about the Council of Chalcedon on day one.
 
To be honest I have way too many colognes and hair products. I obsess too much about my hair and clothes and it bothers me when something is slightly off. I’ve even apologized to people before when I thought my shoes didn’t match my hat or khakis
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
To be honest I have way too many colognes and hair products. I obsess too much about my hair and clothes and it bothers me when something is slightly off. I’ve even apologized to people before when I thought my shoes didn’t match my hat or khakis
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Okay, so this could also be part of your problem. Obsessing like that really is annoying to the people you’re with and apologizing to somebody for a problem that is non-existent puts a burden on that person to give you reassurance.
 
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Yeah…I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you’re so diligent about your faith, but you don’t want to become a crank who is so hyper-focused on religion that it turns you into Rainman.
 
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I’m just curious, if I may, to ask if any of you women have ever approached a guy instead of waiting for him to make a move.
 
If I’d not done this, who knows, DH and I might have never ended up together. He was super shy.
 
Edit: Hmm, the post was apparently “offensive” and removed so there is no point in trying to explain it. I suppose the OP can find examples of what I said anyway if he spends enough time looking. Apparently there is only one side allowed here.
 
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