Gender Roles

[Chris_G]

Actually I respect my dh quite a bit for his hard work for his family. Just as he respects the hard work I do for our family. (Heaven help you if you think being a home schooling SAHM isn’t work!)

Interesting that you think your “efforts and struggles” make you a good husband, but if your wife were dong it - you’d think her a bad wife. That’s very telling of you.

I agree being willing to work hard for their family is a good trait in a man. I just don’t think where they do that hard work is an issue. If a dh stays home, that’s just as hard (if not harder) and just as deserving of respect.

I see you obviously have a chip on your shoulder the way you repeatedly accuse me of things I neither state nor imply. I pray that one day you can release this anger and resentment in your heart. Forgiveness is key, Robs wife.

 

[Karin]

buffalo:

This is pretty much what I was trying to explain. Good job! Thanks! :bowdown:

Ok so why are MEN NOT GETTING EDUCATED?

 

[Chris_G]

Karin:

Nah…it (sarcasm) travels quite well if you know how to read it But thank you for the advice

Ahhh, so that’s it. It’s our fault for not “reading” it right. Please.

 

[Chris_G]

Ok so why are MEN NOT GETTING EDUCATED?

Tsk, Tsk.
I take it you’re not a “devout” Christian?

 

[Karin]

Chris G:

Ahhh, so that’s it. It’s our fault for not “reading” it right. Please.

No …just that some people can interpert it and some can not.

 

[Chris_G]

LSK:

And your apology has been both noted and accepted, Karin…it takes a truly devout Catholic to admit a mistake and take responsibility for it…

And yet, if you read further down you will see that it was any empty apology. She goes on to state that it was our fault for not “reading” correctly. Or maybe her apology was sacastic and I “misread” again.

 

[Chris_G]

Karin:

No …just that some people can interpert it and some can not.

Make up your mind. Are you sorry for using sarcasm, it’s our fault for not “reading” right (your words) or it’s our fault for not “interpreting” (your word again) it correctly.

 

[Karin]

Chris G:

Tsk, Tsk.
I take it you’re not a “devout” Christian?

What the heck are you talking about ???
No I am not a Catholic…devout or otherwise but what does that have to do with a question in regards to a commnet that someone agreed with?
sempejase:

Originally Posted by SemperJase
*The problem with current education enrollment is not that women are getting educated. The problem is that men are NOT getting educated. We don’t need to have less women in college, we need more men… * and Buffalo’s reply to this was …

****QUOTE=buffalo]
Originally Posted by buffalo
This is pretty much what I was trying to explain. Good job! Thanks! :bowdown:
and then I asked "SO why are MEN NOT GETTING EDUCATED???"

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Are you reading things or just commenting???

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[Rob_s_Wife]

SemperJase:

The problem with current education enrollment is not that women are getting educated. The problem is that men are NOT getting educated. We don’t need to have less women in college, we need more men.
Well, that I can agree with. It’s the notion that the women should stop getting an education that bothers me. It isn’t the ladies fault the men aren’t going!

This is actually a tradegy for women.
Seems like a tragedy for men to me.

The over-representation of women with college degrees leaves them fewer choices for a spouse. Women do not marry down. Men will marry a less educated, less financially success woman and elevate their status. That isn’t generally true of women.
I don’t know that I agree with that. Most men look within their own “circle” for a spouse - same as women. I think it’s just as unusual for a man to marry “down”.

In spite of the occaisional exception, women don’t respect men they have to support. Men don’t have that issue supporting women.
I think much of that depends on how they are “supporting” them and why. Take me for example. I’m a SAHM. My dh is okay with this and proud that we are able to accomodate this situation with very carefull spending. However, he would not respect me if I sat on my fanny all day watching Oprah and eating bonbons while the kids grew wild. He respects me because he knows that what I do is worthy and it is work. I would feel the same if he was a SAHD.

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Also, when a woman, or man for that matter, feels forced into these life choice - that breeds resentment and then disrespect regardless of who it is staying home or working. The key is to make these decisions based on love and devotion to what is best for the family.

 

[Chris_G]

Truthseeker4:

In today’s society it is very difficult to have only one bread winner but apparently it can be done.
Melissa

Melissa,
The only reason “in today’s society it is very difficult to have only one bread winner” is because society has tricked us into thinking that we need more than we actually do. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a college education is a “need” not a luxury. Same for having two cars, excessive birthday parties, dinner out, movies, dvd player, TV, computer, video games, sports, etc.

 

[Karin]

Chris G:

And yet, if you read further down you will see that it was any empty apology. She goes on to state that it was our fault for not “reading” correctly. Or maybe her apology was sacastic and I “misread” again.

Chris G-
HMMM, what should i of done when you come back at me with such sarcasm…and unneeded comments??? In regards to my apology, it was not sarcastic!
What was sarcastic was you telling me not to use sarcasm!

**As to my apology…let me reprint it here for you so you can read it once again…**Let me clarify for all that question my choice of words…I used the words “devout Catholic” to make a point (sarcastic at that, sorry) that this is not what a “good” Catholic would do…totally goes against what the Church teaches (if I am wrong and the Church says it is ok to hit your wife please let me know).

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

What? :ehh: Now you’re just rambling. I reply to you on your unfounded posts and you can’t come up with a decent reply, so you claim I have a chip on my shoulder?

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Well, I forgive you for that.

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Chris G:

I see you obviously have a chip on your shoulder the way you repeatedly accuse me of things I neither state nor imply. I pray that one day you can release this anger and resentment in your heart. Forgiveness is key, Robs wife.

 

[Chris_G]

Island Oak:

For whom? You? Fine. But you have no authority–from the Church, Scripture, or Catechism that backs you up here. This is an issue that is left to the discretion of each married couple. Your moral judgement imposed onto another couple’s very legitimate choice to do it differently is at best inappropriate and at worst highly uncharitable.

I am not imposing anything on anyone. Obviously you are free to do as you please. But somehow I get the impression that you would have a problem with obedience to the Chruch as well.

Would that be the example of the same celibate, childless Jesus I’m thinking of–who never had children to feed and educate nor a wife of his own to support?? Would this be the same Jesus who never, as far as we know from the Gospels, ever uttered a phrase even close to “blessed are the stay at home mothers, they shall get to heaven faster than those who earned a paycheck…?!?”

And I bet you are of the opinion that “some celebate old man in Rome has no business telling me what I can and can’t do in my bedroom!” too.

You are WAY out of line to place these social ills on an equal footing with a woman who chooses to support her family by working outside the home. You are overdue for some discernment on how you express your preferences on this issue.

I call 'em as I see 'em. One leads to the other. Breakdown of the family.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Chris G:

Melissa,
The only reason “in today’s society it is very difficult to have only one bread winner” is because society has tricked us into thinking that we need more than we actually do. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a college education is a “need” not a luxury. Same for having two cars, excessive birthday parties, dinner out, movies, dvd player, TV, computer, video games, sports, etc.

A college education may be a need and not a luxury for many as we live in a very technical and complicated world these days. Although there are other educational options that can be just a profitable if a person is so inclined to persue them.

I agree most are brainwashed into not knowing the true difference between a need and want. There’s nothing wrong with having plenty. It’s when you sacrifice your family to get it that there’s a serious problem.

 

[Karin]

Chris G:

Melissa,
The only reason “in today’s society it is very difficult to have only one bread winner” is because society has tricked us into thinking that we need more than we actually do. We have been brainwashed into thinking that a college education is a “need” not a luxury…

So a college education is a “need”…not a luxury…since when? It is a need …you need it to get a decent job to support your family…or perhaps it makes it easier to geta decent job to support your family is a better way to put it.
Ex: When my parents grew up a High School diploma was all you really needed to get a “good” job now it is that college degree that enables most to get a better job (somethign that pays above minimum wage)
Chris G:

Same for having two cars, excessive birthday parties, dinner out, movies, dvd player, TV, computer, video games, sports, etc.

Our family requires two cars…this is not a luxury it is a need. My DH works 1 hour away from us Public Trans does not go where he works …I need a car to run errands and other wifley/ motherly things(no public trans in our area that can be used)…dinner out…Yup twice a week at my husbands restuarant where the meal costs is $0.00, a computer yup the kids need that for school work and I use mine for work also, dvd player yup cheaper than going to the movies but I have to say that I get our DVD’s at the library so cost $0.00. we do not over spend, or blow or budget on extras but we do splurge on occasion

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Chris G:
But somehow I get the impression that you would have a problem with obedience to the Chruch as well.

That’s an outrageous accusation! I don’t know about Island Oak, but I am happy to obey the Church and nothing anyone has posted here has come anywhere near implying that they are not.

And I bet you are of the opinion that “some celebate old man in Rome has no business telling me what I can and can’t do in my bedroom!” too.
No, I am not! (Island Oak will have to answer for herself.) The point being made by her and myself is that you have nothing in the Church or the bible to back you up on your claims. You still don’t and adding these spitefull comments just makes it more obvious.

I call 'em as I see 'em. One leads to the other. Breakdown of the family.
Then you are one blind fellow, imo. How does a man caring for his own children lead to the breakdown of the family?!

 

[buffalo]

Ok so why are MEN NOT GETTING EDUCATED?

I do not know. Could be cost, immaturity, not buying into the educational promises of an easy life after graduation, loans, other interests.

 

[Karin]

buffalo:

I do not know. Could be cost, immaturity, not buying into the educational promises of an easy life after graduation, loans, other interests.

Thank you. That makes sense but what a shame!

 

[Chris_G]

Karin:

So a college education is a “need”…not a luxury…since when? It is a need …you need it to get a decent job to support your family…or perhaps it makes it easier to geta decent job to support your family is a better way to put it.
Ex: When my parents grew up a High School diploma was all you really needed to get a “good” job now it is that college degree that enables most to get a better job (somethign that pays above minimum wage)

Our family requires two cars…this is not a luxury it is a need. My DH works 1 hour away from us Public Trans does not go where he works …I need a car to run errands and other wifley/ motherly things(no public trans in our area that can be used)…dinner out…Yup twice a week at my husbands restuarant where the meal costs is $0.00, a computer yup the kids need that for school work and I use mine for work also, dvd player yup cheaper than going to the movies but I have to say that I get our DVD’s at the library so cost $0.00. we do not over spend, or blow or budget on extras but we do splurge on occasion

You illustrate my point well. For you, a college education is a “need”, to put it in your own words “it makes it easier”. See, that’s where you have been brainwasher. Either that, or you just don’t care. One or the other. A “need” is something we “need” to survive, not something that “makes it easier”. We are fortunate to be able to send kids to college, but it is far from a “need”.
Same goes for two cars. If one is a stay at home Mom, she doesn’t “need” a car. Worse comes to worse, drive hubby to work in the morning and keep the car and pick him up at night. Would that be “hard”. You bet. But that’s the difference between “want” and “need”. My Mom did it, you can to.
Kids don’t NEED a computer for school. It’s nice, but they don’t NEED it. Another falacy.
Yup, DVD’s cheaper than going to the movies. But not cheaper than not having either. Again, want vs. need. We don’t “need” to watch DVD’s or go to the movies. Ever think about reading the Bible to your children. Now that they NEED.

 

[buffalo]

Thank you. That makes sense but what a shame!

I might add there is an awful lot of cheating to get a degree. To an employer that means they will have to re-educate the workforce as they never learned what the degree claims. Perhaps men are seeing the fallacy in this “purchasing” of a degree.