Getting men back to Mass

[ProVobis]

But anyway if you look at the overall pattern, women predominate in Catholic parishes, in worship, staffing, catechists, and teachers. As a priest I’m interested and how to attract more men into worship and parish life.

I’m not seeing this in my local parish as much as the age of the congregation. In the English Mass, there were no more than 10 people younger than 60 (okay, maybe 55 ) yesterday. OTOH, the Spanish Masses generally attract 60-70% people who seem to be younger than 25 years of age. Wide gap there.

 

[Abundant]

I understand the Church approves women to read and to distribute communion, etc. but so far of the small number of parishes I have been to, the parishes in which I see this taking place, I see less men participating and fewer men (and practically no single men or young adult men) at mass; while in parishes where men are encouraged to step up and take the lead they will do so and I see more families with their fathers and more single men, even young adult single men.

This is EXACTLY right. I have been married for 12 years and my husband does go to mass, but only because I ask him to. However, he leads prayer at home and God is a part of his day to day life. I know that as a 33 year old man, he feels out of place at church events because there are no men in our age group there. They are either teens or old men. (Not to be offensive here, just an observation). However, one ‘welcoming Sunday,’ our parish had a pancake breakfast after mass and one of the KOC talked to my husband and invited him to attend a meeting. He was unable to go, but the fact that someone personally invited him made his mass attendance greater for months afterward. This is what I think (and I am no expert) could be done:

1.) Make a real effort to personally contact the men in your parish. Even if they haven’t been in a year…are they on the rolls? Send them a card or better yet call them and invite them to mass on Sunday and maybe a special event afterward.

2.) Ask those men whom you do speak with, what they would like to see more of at church and then ask them to make it happen.

3.) Offer social events that men actually like and couple them with parish events. For instance, if you want men to become involved in reading the bible, why not host a bible study on game day. Use the parish hall, put up a big screen and watch the game then do a 30 minute bible study or something after. Then, the men have made friends and feel more relaxed and are likely to want to come back again. I know you shouldn’t have to ‘bribe’ the men with football so to speak, but most men work full time outside of the home and don’t have the opportunity to build relationships outside of work…nor do they desire to join a quilting bee or scrapbook club like many women.

Just my thoughts…

 

[marymary1975]

It’s a well-documented phenomenon that in United States parish life is dominated by women. Both protestants and Catholics see this – I think Evangelicals may be somewhat more balanced, from what I’ve heard. There has been quite a bit written about this: books and articles; if you Google you’ll get a flavor of it. Glad your parish is better balanced!

At most parishes I’ve been to, perhaps 80% of of the EMHC’s are women, same with the lectors. Some parishes do have more men, but this is rare, from what I’ve seen. Probably 80-90% of the daily Mass attendees are women (driven at least somewhat by all the grey heads!)

I don’t know if my observation applies everywhere but at least from what I have seen the issue of men not involved in church is very old. I remember wondering about why 80% of parish life was run by women over 20 years ago and I remember 18 years ago when I first joined a pro life group being shocked over the fact that half of the group members were men…and I was shocked because it was first time in my life I had seen so many men involved with the church.

I think the issue is rooted in that, historically, religion and involvement with church and following God’s path had been focused onto women heavily not men. Maybe is society’s double.morals in which men were left as “ahhhh let them do whatever they want” while the faith was expected to be practiced by women. I remember my own family, my grandmother who was a devout person worried and busy with passing the faith to me but didn’t think it was necessary to do it with her male grandchildren. Again I don’t know if that happened everywhere but certainly the faith hasn’t been properly targeted let’s say to men.

From experience in my pro life group who was very well balanced and always remained very attractive to men I think that the best way to attract men is to make parish life more inclusive to everyone and show men that religion has issues that are important to everyone. Guys loved the pro life group because they saw it as a cause that affected everyone equally, the message was we need men and women to stand up for this, real men are pro life, we care about men too, pro life is about real equality etc. This proved to be very attractive for men. Maybe the church needs to focus more on the importance of parish life for men, that men are needed. Maybe open groups that seem attractive to men. Focus on young boys and teens boys, create teen boys groups in the parish ,do activities for boys,.etc. Also during holy week my parish has a pro life procession for men with Jesus which was quite successful. I think that is the kind of stuff that is needed. Focusing in trying to instill the practice of the faith in men.

 

[GwenL]

Besides Mass attendance , I’ll add this observation: I’ve lived in New York, California, South Dakota, Minnesota, Virginia, and Connecticut.
I’ve seen that perhaps 80-90% of DRE’s and Catechism teachers are women, same with musical “ministers”. Frequently the only male staff will be the Priest+ Deacon and the janitor. Most Catholic school teachers are women.

Part of the reason is that women tend to be attracted to these types of jobs, whether at a church or not.

But anyway if you look at the overall pattern, women predominate in Catholic parishes, in worship, staffing, catechists, and teachers. As a priest I’m interested and how to attract more men into worship and parish life.

First, Father, don’t confuse the feminine with lack of masculinity. Women are not deformed or incomplete men. The feminine is not a malformed or lesser form of masculinity. (you didn’t say that, but many seem to imply it) I get so tired of hearing about “feminization” of the liturgy and “effeminate” music, etc. as if the liturgy has become more feminine and feminine is bad. I think the real problem is de-masculinization, or more simply, emasculation. By deemphasizing or eliminating the masculine, you have not made liturgy or music more feminine. You have made it less about Christ.

Make the liturgy and music more masculine, and you will attract both men and women. You already knew that women were attracted to things masculine! Make the liturgy more about offering sacrifice (masculine), the music more forceful and stronger (masculine), and you’ll attract men and women. I’ll be blunt–when I hear a priest get up there and say things like, “sisters and brothers,” I hear “I have cut mine off.”

Second, recruit men to fill key roles in parish life. Women will step up and do the jobs if nobody else does. Often it’s older, retired, perhaps widowed women who have the time and see the need. When a working man (or woman) sees that a duty is competently filled, he takes the easy way out. You go tell the men in the parish that you need them as role models, especially as catechists, and as leaders, and you’ll get men to volunteer. Men will rise to a challenge. But they often need to be presented with the challenge.

Third, preach strong homilies that stay away from “Barney theology.” That’s: I love you, and you love me, and we’re all loved…Talk about real life, and the challenges of raising a family in today’s culture, and how Catholic teaching and scripture applies to real life problems. Talk about sin and confession and mercy. Talk about sacrifice.

Fourth, be an example of masculinity. Spearhead social and bonding and charity events that men enjoy with other men. Ask men in the parish to plan and organize this sort of thing. We have some men that organized a “Men of St Joseph” group. They meet once a week at 6:00 a.m.; most stay for the 7:00 a.m. Mass. They talk about the readings of the week, they pray, and the group has exploded in membership.

We have about half-and-half men and women at daily Mass. We have about 40-60 men-women for EMHCs and lectors. We have about half-and-half men and women as catechists. Our parish is also known for the most traditional liturgy in town. People come from all over to sign their children up for our religious education classes, because they know that we are the most orthodox in town.

 

[ServantSon]

Father,
Just a few quick thoughts. Firstly, please take into consideration the comments made by men. Not to disregard the women’s take on this situation, however what better way to figure men out than to talk to men? Let men who attend tell you what they look for and what they think is missing. Take that to prayer and go from there. Secondly, as a young male who reverted to the faith 7 years ago, I was extremely turned off by the lack of masculinity found in any parish I went to. There is a huge push of emotions, feelings, and externals. This is not only in the parish, but spirituality as well. Men dislike these things. We are more introverted often, task oriented, and rubrical. This is from the top up. I have yet to meet a priest who exemplified manhood and more importantly true spiritual fatherhood (let alone was reverent in the Mass in a way that showed without question his love and belief in and of the Real Presence. Men in general have lost a sense of what it means to be a man and a father. Thirdly, where women are, the men won’t be. We see this from a young age. If a boy likes something, as soon as a girl starts to like that thing he drops it and moves on. Ladies, I’m sorry if you disagree but it is the truth. That is how men are wired even from a young age. Men need something which is specific to them, kind of their role to fill. So having all male altar servers is a great start. Not only will it give the young boys there own thing to do, but there is no better soil for vocations to grow!

On a side note, I have friends from all over the country, and many of whom are seminarians… 95% of them are strongly traditional. While not solely fixed on the EF, they are set on bringing back reverence in the Mass, love and due respect to the Blessed Sacrament and the reception of it, and masculine identity to the priesthood that has been missing.

 

[Cat]

After talking this interesting topic over with my very masculine husband, who faithfully and cheerfully attends Mass (OF, never EF, his choice) and serves as an usher, I’ve come to the conclusion that before anyone can formulate any “plan” to “get men back to Mass,” they must first define “masculine” and “feminine” as it pertains to Mass.

My husband, a highly-intelligent man, told me that he believes certain hymns/songs used in Mass are “feminine.” But when I tried to get him to define “feminine music,” he came up with an explanation involving “intervals” (2nds and 3rds as opposed to 4ths and 5ths). Within one minute, I was able to tear this argument apart by pointing out hymns and songs that are “masculine” by his definition, but use plenty of 2nds and 3rds (e.g., Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee). In fact, the few other “definitions” he came up with were also easily de-bunked.

Gentlemen of this thread, I, a woman, don’t buy it. I will not accept that some hymns are “feminine” or “effeminate”, and that other hymns are “masculine” on the basis of vague “feelings” from men or women.

I would like to see a measurable definition of “effeminate” music. And I would like to see a measurable definition of “effeminacy” in the Mass.

Frankly, I think that men wearing dresses is an effeminate practice, and to me, the cassocks and vestments look like dresses. But I know that the cassocks and vestments are NOT dresses, so I don’t think that the priests look effeminate.

So what I’m getting at is that I think that any attempt to “masculinize” the Mass would be fruitless without a measurable definition of masculinity and effeminacy in the Mass.

And to be honest, I don’t think you’ll be able to arrive at this definition for hymns or any other parts of the Mass, because I don’t believe it exists. The Mass is “feminine” or “masculine” as we perceive it based on our personal experiences, not as it really is.

So any attempt to “masculinize” the Mass will fail, because inevitably, someone will perceive the “new masculine Mass” as effeminate, based on their personal experiences.

I personally think that men who are committed to Jesus Christ will not let their perceptions of masculine and feminine stop them from attending Mass. I think that men (and women) who are truly committed to Jesus Christ will attend a valid Mass no matter WHAT the Mass is like.

C’mon now, everyone–if a man (or woman) refuses to come to Mass because the congregation is singing “On Eagles’ Wings,” then it isn’t too likely that the man will lay his head down on a chopping block and be martyred for Christ. If we aren’t faithful in little things (like cheerfully enduring Mass music that we don’t personally like), then how on earth or heaven do we ever expect to be faithful when it comes time to face persecution and death for Christ’s sake?

**So to me, the answer to the priest’s question is, “Lead people back to Christ and help them to re-commit their lives to Him, and THEN they will come back to Mass.”
**
I personally think that many men (and women) are more likely to re-commit themselves to Jesus after personal contact and friendship rather than attending a corporate event like a Mass or mission or seminar. So our work is cut out for us–we bring them back home to the Church one by one. That dinner party that we give in our homes, or that invitation to a ball game, may have eternal consequences for our friends, if we are true to our faith and demonstrate to our “away” friends that Christ lives in us!

It would be so much easier if we could just switch the Mass music from “feminine” hymns to masculine hymns! Not gonna happen.

 

[clem456]

Thanks Cat for the common sense.

 

[TimothyH]

My two cents for getting more men to Mass is the following:

1. Latin Mass
2. Prayerful and aggressive recruiting from the Knights of Columbus
3. Homilies to call men back home to become leaders, protectors, and providers.

Each individual must hear the call home. Prayer never fails. A couple of good resources to ignite the fire of the Holy Spirit into men are the following:

It comes as a shock to some of the Knights that not every man is called to be a member, and for those who are not called, aggressive recruiting is both obnoxious and offensive. In the pew before Mass, in the narthex, on line for confession, in the grocery store, calling me on the phone at home and on my cell while I am on business trips… I had to ask the grand knight to ask his members to please leave me alone, and eventually had to go to the pastor of the Church to get it to stop.

The Latin Mass would never had done anything to get me back to Church either.

What got me back to Church was God’s forgiveness and healing of all of my sins and God’s mercy and strength in my weakness.

-Tim-

 

[clem456]

What got me back to Church was God’s forgiveness and healing of all of my sins and God’s mercy and strength in my weakness.

-Tim-

Hey, I resemble that remark!
:yyeess:

 

[Sarabande]

After talking this interesting topic over with my very masculine husband, who faithfully and cheerfully attends Mass (OF, never EF, his choice) and serves as an usher, I’ve come to the conclusion that before anyone can formulate any “plan” to “get men back to Mass,” they must first define “masculine” and “feminine” as it pertains to Mass.

My husband, a highly-intelligent man, told me that he believes certain hymns/songs used in Mass are “feminine.” But when I tried to get him to define “feminine music,” he came up with an explanation involving “intervals” (2nds and 3rds as opposed to 4ths and 5ths). Within one minute, I was able to tear this argument apart by pointing out hymns and songs that are “masculine” by his definition, but use plenty of 2nds and 3rds (e.g., Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee). In fact, the few other “definitions” he came up with were also easily de-bunked.

Gentlemen of this thread, I, a woman, don’t buy it. I will not accept that some hymns are “feminine” or “effeminate”, and that other hymns are “masculine” on the basis of vague “feelings” from men or women.

I would like to see a measurable definition of “effeminate” music. And I would like to see a measurable definition of “effeminacy” in the Mass.
.

I agree with you, Cat. There is nothing inherently “feminine” or “masculine” with a song, or composition of a piece of music, especially with intervals. My husband, a musician as well, agrees with us. Music doesn’t have a gender and the spectrum as to what one person might consider masculine or feminine can vary greatly. Although people use these terms to describe a piece of music, better descriptive words probably should be employed to describe one’s opinion on a specific song or certain style of song.

My husband can be frank about music when asked and this is what he wrote back to me, “There are other adjectives one could more adequately use to describe most hymns played at church these days: stinks, awful, lame, and stupid come to mind.” That could offend the tastes and sensibilities of certain people, but I asked for his honest opinion about what turns him off to the music that many were talking about in this thread, not as a musician, but just as a man sitting in the pews who may not have any musical background. I asked him not to sugarcoat. When I asked him, as a man, what he thought could bring more men back to mass, he replied, “Tough question. Tons of things. They need to strengthen culturally all around, improving music is one avenue of many avenues, start men’s drinking clubs, a parish softball team, field trips to cool destination.” He’s at work, so that was as much as he could think of quickly off-hand.

Strengthening our culture as practicing Catholics I do think is key. We can bring them in with the music, the clubs, field trips, etc., but then we need to provide the meat to make them stay.

 

[ProVobis]

Father,
Just a few quick thoughts. Firstly, please take into consideration the comments made by men. Not to disregard the women’s take on this situation, however what better way to figure men out than to talk to men? Let men who attend tell you what they look for and what they think is missing. Take that to prayer and go from there. Secondly, as a young male who reverted to the faith 7 years ago, I was extremely turned off by the lack of masculinity found in any parish I went to. There is a huge push of emotions, feelings, and externals. This is not only in the parish, but spirituality as well. Men dislike these things. We are more introverted often, task oriented, and rubrical. This is from the top up. I have yet to meet a priest who exemplified manhood and more importantly true spiritual fatherhood (let alone was reverent in the Mass in a way that showed without question his love and belief in and of the Real Presence. Men in general have lost a sense of what it means to be a man and a father. Thirdly, where women are, the men won’t be. We see this from a young age. If a boy likes something, as soon as a girl starts to like that thing he drops it and moves on. Ladies, I’m sorry if you disagree but it is the truth. That is how men are wired even from a young age. Men need something which is specific to them, kind of their role to fill. So having all male altar servers is a great start. Not only will it give the young boys there own thing to do, but there is no better soil for vocations to grow!

I forgot where I heard the old adage: Women feel like women around men. Men feel like men around other men.

 

[YoungTradCath]

After talking this interesting topic over with my very masculine husband, who faithfully and cheerfully attends Mass (OF, never EF, his choice) and serves as an usher, I’ve come to the conclusion that before anyone can formulate any “plan” to “get men back to Mass,” they must first define “masculine” and “feminine” as it pertains to Mass.

Maybe we’re being a little too modern and empirical about this, I don’t know. We can’t apply scientific principles (of which empiricism is a supreme example) to things like liturgy always. Sometimes we can, but when we come to an impasse like here, I think we have to apply other domains of knowledge, like philosophy. The other day I was listening to a FSSP priest who is an exorcist, and I believe he also has a doctorate in psychology–his degree doesn’t particularly matter here, just his subject–and he was talking about how often, modern psychology doesn’t work because of its unnatural marriage to empiricism. Our intellect, our mind, is not just a projection of neuronal impulses in our brains; part of it resides there, but our soul has at least as much to do with our intellect and humanity as anything.

So to properly understand human nature and psychology, we must have an understanding of good philosophy, and perhaps, ideally, good Catholic theology. A psychologist who does not have good philosophical training will not be as well-trained as a psychologist who does have good philosophical training, especially if the latter psychologist also has training in good Catholic theology to take it a step further, assuming that their other training is comparable. To make this a little clearer, an economist who is taught purely secular economics will not be as good an economist as one who goes to a good Catholic school, takes good philosophy, morality and perhaps theology classes to go along with his/her economic training, assuming the latter economist really does care. This is crystal clear when it comes to principles like dealing with the poor. No matter how much economic theory one learns, an economist will only be as truly good as his/her moral principles. No matter how many psychological modalities a psychologist or psychiatrist learns, one will only be as good as his/her moral principles. Yes, everyone has a conscience, but conscience has to be formed. Empiricism and other scientific principles cannot form the conscience. They can help, but only indirectly.

To wrap this all up, I am not saying that most musical choices at Mass can be evaluated on moral grounds. Of course not. But I am saying that we have to apply other domains of knowledge, like philosophy and theology, to this subject. Empiricism, as in “measurable” qualities as you put it, is, in my opinion, not a good way to judge music at Mass, at least not directly.

And when you talk about men who are committed to Jesus will come to Mass anyway, yes, that’s true. But isn’t that our goal, not a given?

Other than that, I think your points about evangelizing outside of church, like at dinner parties, is great!

 

[clem456]

Father,
Just a few quick thoughts. Firstly, please take into consideration the comments made by men. Not to disregard the women’s take on this situation, however what better way to figure men out than to talk to men? Let men who attend tell you what they look for and what they think is missing. Take that to prayer and go from there. Secondly, as a young male who reverted to the faith 7 years ago,

I reverted about 12-15 years ago.

I was extremely turned off by the lack of masculinity found in any parish I went to. There is a huge push of emotions, feelings, and externals. This is not only in the parish, but spirituality as well. Men dislike these things. We are more introverted often, task oriented, and rubrical. This is from the top up.

I have not experienced this lack of masculinity.
For the last 12 years we had a tremendous female pastoral associate who was responsible for teaching sacrament prep and adult ed, and she did a tremendous job with men and women both. She had a good orthodox presentation of the faith, and a powerful witness of her relationship with Jesus Christ. Men and women both benefitted from her leadership. I had very strong feelings about various spiritual things as a result of the conversion I went through. Emotions and feelings are part of life. So? They are part of life. And yes men are more task oriented. So when plumbing and landscaping need to be done, there is plenty to do. I would suggest to some of the men reading this…if you want to contribute in a unique way, shut the baseball game off and bring your toolbox down to the parish, there is plenty to be done in every parish. Task oriented implies committing one’s self to the task at hand, not just talking about it. So, I think some of the crying in this thread is in fact evidence of the very thing being bemoaned.

I have yet to meet a priest who exemplified manhood and more importantly true spiritual fatherhood (let alone was reverent in the Mass in a way that showed without question his love and belief in and of the Real Presence.

I find that hard to believe.

Men in general have lost a sense of what it means to be a man and a father. Thirdly, where women are, the men won’t be. We see this from a young age. If a boy likes something, as soon as a girl starts to like that thing he drops it and moves on.

Are you married with children? Making a commitment to a woman will change that attitude real fast.

Ladies, I’m sorry if you disagree but it is the truth. That is how men are wired even from a young age. Men need something which is specific to them, kind of their role to fill. So having all male altar servers is a great start. Not only will it give the young boys there own thing to do, but there is no better soil for vocations to grow!

On a side note, I have friends from all over the country, and many of whom are seminarians… 95% of them are strongly traditional. While not solely fixed on the EF, they are set on bringing back reverence in the Mass, love and due respect to the Blessed Sacrament and the reception of it, and masculine identity to the priesthood that has been missing.

There is just so much confusion on what it means to be a man demonstrated in this thread. And also on how masculinity is manifested through the priesthood. Whatever it is you think is missing in the manhood of our priests, maybe you make up for some of that. Get your toolbox out and bring your own masculinity to your parish, lest the women “take over” your parish.

 

[clem456]

It’s a well-documented phenomenon that in United States parish life is dominated by women. Both protestants and Catholics see this – I think Evangelicals may be somewhat more balanced, from what I’ve heard. There has been quite a bit written about this: books and articles; if you Google you’ll get a flavor of it. Glad your parish is better balanced!

At most parishes I’ve been to, perhaps 80% of of the EMHC’s are women, same with the lectors. Some parishes do have more men, but this is rare, from what I’ve seen. Probably 80-90% of the daily Mass attendees are women (driven at least somewhat by all the grey heads!)

There’s a huge lie going around. In fact it’s been going around for some time. American men especially have swallowed it whole. It goes something like this:
“You are your own man. You are self sufficient. Depend on yourself. All you have to do is man up, puff up your chest, and work a little harder. Don’t let anyone see that you need anything”
Where does obedience (stopping to listen to God) fit into that lie? Nowhere. Obedience and self sufficiency cannot exist together.

Serving God as an EMHC or lector will surely demonstrate my abject need for God. We cannot have that in our self made world, NOooo, as a man I could not do that. I pronounce myself “SELF SUFFICIENT”.
Women tend to not buy this BS for lots of reasons.

I have a question…
Why is it that women realize they need God more so than men, and when given the opportunity, will say yes, while men will say “non-serviam”?
Why is that?
I am assuming that men do need God, if not, then forget about it.

 

[YoungTradCath]

Serving God as an EMHC or lector will surely demonstrate my abject need for God.

I agree with the first part of your post generally, but I can’t tell if the first part quoted here is sarcasm or not, even though the rest of it is.

 

[jmcrae]

Here’s what the Evangelicals are doing to pack them in:

“Five to Thrive”

 

[peace2u2]

But it’s crucial to get the men back, because statistics show that children often mimic Dad’s religious practices. So if Dad doesn’t go to Mass, when the children grow up, they won’t either.

So, why don’t men attend Mass, and how do we get them back? This priest would like to hear your ideas,so I may implement them at my earliest opportunity!

Perhaps they don’t go because they put other things first like baseball, sleep or whatever it is that they think is more important than going to meet the Creator of the Universe in a very intimate and special way, hidden in the Most Holy Eucharist. Perhaps their sin keeps them away and they have forgotten how simple it is to repent and to ask God to forgive them. There’s probably a 100 more reasons why.

Most men that I see at Mass are there with their wife so maybe its more crucial for the mom or wife to establish this relationship with God first and then they can lead their husbands and family to Church.

I think its important for men and women to know that our priests are human and they have struggles as well. Not just struggles, but things they enjoy outside of their priestly ministry. Maybe tell them - I like a good beer on a hot summer day, watching my baseball team win and French fries at Wendy’s but my waist does not. They have to know things like men who enter the priesthood take a vow of celibacy because they want to not because they are born that way. Talk about when God called you to be His priest forever. Maybe you were even dating a girl - I remember when my daughter was baptized and this very young and handsome priest told us that he had dated a girl from Georgia (we were talking about the South) and I nearly fell out of my chair. Wow - a priest actually has these feelings. I know how ignorant of me but I wonder how many more people out there need to hear your personal experiences growing up and what you go thru now. Father Donald Calloway’s book was a really big eye opener for me and it also helped me realize that I’m not perfect, God loves me anyway and He calls me to become the person that He created me to be even if it takes my entire lifetime to happen at least I know that God is not done with me yet and that God loves me no matter what but also calls me to be holy and worship Him alone.

Maybe you could throw a parish picnic, start a Bible study for just men, Sunday afternoon baseball game once a month or football catch in the fall, start a food drive or something that the guys could do together. I’m sure the women will get jealous and start their own activities as a result! I would suggest placing your flyers maybe at the local library or shopping center so maybe men who have been away from practicing their faith will be prompted to returning.

Men who left the faith or who have never been baptized in any faith (there’s a lot of that today) need to hear the message, but if their not in Church their not going to hear the message of God’s love! Maybe its time to go back to the ancient ways of evangelizing - and hit the streets. I actually love when I see a Catholic priest in a public place (obviously if he’s dressed I know that) and I always make sure I greet him and shake his hand and thank him for his service to Jesus’ Church.

By the way, thank you Fr. Steven Jones! God Bless you and may He keep you happy, healthy and safe. Amen.

 

[Cat]

There’s a huge lie going around. In fact it’s been going around for some time. American men especially have swallowed it whole. It goes something like this:
“You are your own man. You are self sufficient. Depend on yourself. All you have to do is man up, puff up your chest, and work a little harder. Don’t let anyone see that you need anything”
Where does obedience (stopping to listen to God) fit into that lie? Nowhere. Obedience and self sufficiency cannot exist together.

Serving God as an EMHC or lector will surely demonstrate my abject need for God. We cannot have that in our self made world, NOooo, as a man I could not do that. I pronounce myself “SELF SUFFICIENT”.
Women tend to not buy this BS for lots of reasons.

I have a question…
Why is it that women realize they need God more so than men, and when given the opportunity, will say yes, while men will say “non-serviam”?
Why is that?
I am assuming that men do need God, if not, then forget about it.

I hope I can explain this clearly and I hope it doesn’t sound too graphic or offensive. It’s just my opinion, and I’m not sure if there is any historical theology or philosophy behind it. I’ve held this opinion for years, and becoming Catholic intensified my opinion and made it seem even more logical.

I think that women are more aware of their need for God because women are created to “receive”. We are the recipients in the Act of Marriage–we receive our husband inside of our body, and the seed of our husband goes inside us. (Hopefully, it’s our husband, but it could be any man.)

And we women WANT to receive our husband’s seed because that will create a child inside us, and that is how we can give. We give birth to the baby, and we give that baby milk.

But a man does not “receive”. He can’t receive during the Marriage Act (unless he receives in a perverted way from another man, and that is a non-creative act that mimics elimination of bodily waste).

So to a man, “loving” Jesus, another Man, and “receiving” Him into their body, just seems…not right somehow. I think many men have a hard time with this.

But to a woman, loving Jesus, a Man, and receiving Him into our bodies, seems kind of like what we do with our husbands.

Does this make any sense at all?

 

[clem456]

Related to this…
having the capacity to carry and nurture life gives a woman a sensitivity to things that men may have a harder time understanding. For a woman, to give of themselves in cooperating with the creation of life requires patience, hope, intimacy with the new life growing inside, seeing value in suffering through the various pains of giving new life. And, a woman knows what it is to be vulnerable to a greater degree than men. Being vulnerable brings home the reality that ultimately we are not really self sufficient. We depend on each other. Men are not forced to deal with this to the same degree, but it is still a reality, is it not?

If a woman knows what it is to be vulnerable, to realize that self sufficiency is a lie, does this bring them closer to the truth that we all need God?
If we men don’t see our complete need to get close to God, whose fault is that??? Who are we listening to that drags us away from being obedient to God? Is that the fault of our women? Our music? Please…

If there is no men’s bible study at your parish, you be the one to start it.
If you don’t like guitars and pianos and “feminine” music, you learn the organ, you join the choir, send your son to music school. Too many female EMHC’s? You get involved and start visiting nursing homes with communion.

In our parish we have about 30 emhc that visit nursing homes and hospitals in our parish. About 10% of us are men. Where are the rest of you? Where have you been, you guys that would be all about it, if only the Mass music suited your tastes? Is it time to get off your butts and man up?

 

[ProVobis]

Is it time to get off your butts and man up?

Say what you want, but I still see mostly men taking up the collections.