Girlfriend is tempting me to sleep with her!

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Daniel Marsh:
Franz this is a no brainer, run man run.

If you lose her, you lose her.

If you sleep with her before marriage, then you are planting seeds of distrust.
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Yep. If she’ll do it with you, then she’ll do it to you.
 
Ani Ibi:
  1. Marriage is a job, not a day at the circus. Make a job description for the Catholic wife that you want. You can’t take a woman – any woman – and then build a job around her. Forget about appearance. What job do you want done? What skills and experience are necessary to do that job? What values does she need to have? Then interview as many women as you can until you find one who has the correct qualities. Then move heaven and earth to marry her.
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👍 👍 👍
 
Mama Mia,

I may have been around a while but I do remember some nice lookin’ babes I dated who wanted desparately to be impregnated by me. I’m not bragging. It’s just the way it is. I was certainly tempted but I did not succumb.

I remember this one…Nevermind. To dwell on such things is to tempt sinful thoughts.

It is not worth it. As was said, “keep your eyes on heaven” and someday you will have a mate to go to heaven with.

When I think what could have been if I hadn’t I shudder. I could have been white trash with an undeveloped brain, three kids before 21 and living in a trailer park. Nope, not for me.

I’m just wondering…was I clear enough with you?

Dan L
 
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GregoryPalamas:
Mama Mia,

I may have been around a while but I do remember some nice lookin’ babes I dated who wanted desparately to be impregnated by me. I’m not bragging. It’s just the way it is. I was certainly tempted but I did not succumb.

I remember this one…Nevermind. To dwell on such things is to tempt sinful thoughts.

It is not worth it. As was said, “keep your eyes on heaven” and someday you will have a mate to go to heaven with.

When I think what could have been if I hadn’t I shudder. I could have been white trash with an undeveloped brain, three kids before 21 and living in a trailer park. Nope, not for me.

I’m just wondering…was I clear enough with you?

Dan L
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:hmmm:
~ Kathy ~
 
Dump her is a little harsh. However, if you have explained your beliefs and she disagrees and wants to do the opposite, why do you want to stay with her? If you both have different perspectives on this important issue, what is keeping you together? --KCT
 
Franz, this is an interesting thread and I’ll pray for you. I just want to say that I commend you for being so open to hearing viewpoints that might be difficult to digest as it challenges you to move outside of what is comfortable. But you seem to be accepting guidance with such a grateful heart and good spirit. 🙂 It sounds like you really want to please God and love your girlfriend in an authentic way, by waiting for her and respecting both her soul and body (as well as yours). God bless!
 
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1ke:
There is no loss for you, only gain. WHY do you even want to date this person who does not share your values or faith?

.
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why? do you think peoples feelibngs for each other should be based on shared values. Should you love someone simply because they are an appropriate choice of partner?
 
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cynic:
There is no loss for you, only gain. WHY do you even want to date this person who does not share your values or faith?
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why? do you think peoples feelibngs for each other should be based on shared values. Should you love someone simply because they are an appropriate choice of partner?
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Jesus tells us to love everyone, our enemies as well as our friends. He didn’t tell us to date everyone though…

1ke didn’t say anything about feelings, they said something about dating someone or not. Dating is discrenment. You should date someone because they are a good choice for a partner and you are looking to see if marriage might be a possibility for the two of you. You can still love someone who doesn’t share your values or faith, but dating them is not such a good idea because it would be unlikely that people who can’t agree on values would make a good married couple and good parents. Just my 2c.
 
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Franz:
thats not realistic, inevitably we watch movies at her house, or she comes to mine, etc…but yes, these are the situations where I get tempted. I don’t think running from them is the answer…
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Are you crazy? If you think that running from (avoiding) the occassion of sin is not the answer, then what exactly is your answer? No one forces you to be alone with each other at your homes.
 
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shannin:
Are you crazy? If you think that running from (avoiding) the occassion of sin is not the answer, then what exactly is your answer? No one forces you to be alone with each other at your homes.
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:amen:
 
Franz,

In these matters you must let the head of the Church guide the head that’s atop your body and that head that is atop your body must guide any other head you may have.

The sexual drive is very powerful. Unless Christ in you is more powerful you will be sorry for the rest of eternity.

CDL
 
well, I must say that this thread has been interesting, and at times, heated, but it’s so nice to know people care about your soul, which is why I accept all opinions.

I had an amazing talk about it last night with her (with much encouragement from what I read here), kept it focused on my relationship with Jesus, and what doing things like pre-marital sex does to my relationship. Also, talked about how the whole idea of sex before marriage is a perversion of what sex is meant for, and if anyone stops to think about why there is so much disease in the world relating to sex, I believe it due to human abuse and having sex outside marriage.

That all said, I told her that I had onetime held her position, and that I understand where she is coming from, but this is what I believe and something I’m not waivering on. She was quite accepting actually, and had never really thought about things with that perspective I was showing her. I think I may have made some headway, it was the most direct I’ve been on the issue, and needless to say, she’s never had someone tell her that they had this position on pre-marital sex, and yes, she’s dating nothing but Catholics (all my friends are Catholic, and some from the Youth Group at church, and all engage in pre-marital sex…so I’m really taking the narrow path, lol).

Anyways, thats my update. I was wondering if there was any sort of information on the internet which would be beneficial as to why its so important to stay Chaste before marriage, something that may get through to someone who doesn’t necessarily hold that position.

Thanks.
 
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Franz:
Anyways, thats my update. I was wondering if there was any sort of information on the internet which would be beneficial as to why its so important to stay Chaste before marriage, something that may get through to someone who doesn’t necessarily hold that position.

Thanks.
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Wow, thank you for sharing the update. Sounds like it went very well. I’ll keep you two in my prayers.

I refer you back to posts #15 and #19…going to those sites and checking out their ‘links’ section should direct you to a multitude of options.

Also go to your parish to see what programs they have for singles and start attending those for some of your dates.
 
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YinYangMom:
Wow, thank you for sharing the update. Sounds like it went very well. I’ll keep you two in my prayers.

I refer you back to posts #15 and #19…going to those sites and checking out their ‘links’ section should direct you to a multitude of options.

Also go to your parish to see what programs they have for singles and start attending those for some of your dates.
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I have been checking out those sites, thanks. Although last night I see as baby steps, I think they may turn out to be leaps and Giant steps. Don’t worry, I’m not getting overly excited, but I am encouraged.
 
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Franz:
I have been checking out those sites, thanks. Although last night I see as baby steps, I think they may turn out to be leaps and Giant steps. Don’t worry, I’m not getting overly excited, but I am encouraged.
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Good to hear.

It really may help to balance your dating…for every ‘secular’ date, make the next one ‘faith-based’. If there’s a program in your parish for young singles which meets on Wednesday, then pencil that in as a date. On Friday, go to a movie, or invite friends over to watch a DVD movie with you. Stop, for now, the watching-movies-alone as a date.

The point is, if you make a conscious effort to include God in your dating choices, it’ll be easy to transition that to include God in your engaged or married life down the line - yours and hers - whether or not you two end up together in the long run. Including God in your dating life provides grace and strength to be resolved in your commitment toward chastity.
 
Franz,

God bless you. It takes a man of substance to stand against the currents of the world especially when all of ones friends pay no attention to God’s guidance in such matters. God is and will use you in wonderful ways.

CDL
 
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Flopfoot:
Jesus tells us to love everyone, our enemies as well as our friends. He didn’t tell us to date everyone though…

Hi Flop, Remember the title of his thread: *Girlfriend is tempting me to sleep with her … *He says he’s not ready for marriage and yet he continues to be in situations with her that encourage the occassion of sin.

1ke didn’t say anything about feelings, they said something about dating someone or not. Dating is discrenment. You should date someone because they are a good choice for a partner and you are looking to see if marriage might be a possibility for the two of you.

If you’re not ready for marriage then you should date in groups and as friends. Remember, he said he’s not ready for marriage yet.

You can still love someone who doesn’t share your values or faith, but dating them is not such a good idea because it would be unlikely that people who can’t agree on values would make a good married couple and good parents. Just my 2c.
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I think that in this case they are very compatible with each other because neither one of them has been chaste in past relationships. He doesn’t even know why it’s a good idea to remain chaste. He asked us for information on the internet on the advantages of remaining chaste which seems a little bizarre to me. :rolleyes:

He doesn’t seem to get it that some people want to save themselves for that one special person and for the holy sacrament of matrimony. He’s asking for information on the internet so he can explain things to her :confused: :confused: :confused:
 
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shannin:
I think that in this case they are very compatible with each other because neither one of them has been chaste in past relationships. He doesn’t even know why it’s a good idea to remain chaste. He asked us for information on the internet on the advantages of remaining chaste which seems a little bizarre to me. :rolleyes:

He doesn’t seem to get it that some people want to save themselves for that one special person and for the holy sacrament of matrimony. He’s asking for information on the internet so he can explain things to her :confused: :confused: :confused:
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Shannin, its obvious I know the reasons its important to remain Chaste, or I wouldn’t have the stance I do. You’re continual criticism is not constructive, and therefore not helpful. The reason I asked for information, was to help me effectively communicate my position, which I have had a hard time doing.
 
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