Girlfriend is tempting me to sleep with her!

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GregoryPalamas:
Franz,

God bless you. It takes a man of substance to stand against the currents of the world especially when all of ones friends pay no attention to God’s guidance in such matters. God is and will use you in wonderful ways.

CDL
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Thank you, I’m not concerned about what my friends think, and I’m trying to show them the light, and why these things are wrong. Of course, they think I’m nuts, lol, but I can laugh about it without doubting my position on it. I want to be a light and example to others. I don’t have a “model Christian past”, however I know that I can be a good example now, and the rest of my life, and this is what I am striving for.
 
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Franz:
Anyways, thats my update. I was wondering if there was any sort of information on the internet which would be beneficial as to why its so important to stay Chaste before marriage, something that may get through to someone who doesn’t necessarily hold that position. Thanks.
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www.pureloveclub.com

Also, I recommend purchasing some literature from www.omsoul.com and sharing it. They have some great stuff.

Books: Theology Of The Body For Beginners by Christopher West & Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn are two good ones. The Catechism would be a good investment too.
 
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Franz:
Shannin, its obvious I know the reasons its important to remain Chaste, or I wouldn’t have the stance I do. You’re continual criticism is not constructive, and therefore not helpful. The reason I asked for information, was to help me effectively communicate my position, which I have had a hard time doing.
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Oopps, so sorry. I read your post too fast. I thought you were asking for information on the internet for yourself. Please accept my apology and I wish you the very very best in your relationship.
 
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shannin:
Oopps, so sorry. I read your post too fast. I thought you were asking for information on the internet for yourself. Please accept my apology and I wish you the very very best in your relationship.
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no problem
 
1ke said:
www.pureloveclub.com

Also, I recommend purchasing some literature from www.omsoul.com and sharing it. They have some great stuff.

Books: Theology Of The Body For Beginners by Christopher West & Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn are two good ones. The Catechism would be a good investment too.
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Actually, the young adults group I am at in my church, is starting a study of the Theology of the Body by C.West.
 
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Franz:
Here is my situation. I’m dating a woman, who is not really a practicing Catholic. I have told her about why I think its important to wait for sex until we get married, the whole shabang. We are getting more and more intimate, where one thing is leading to another. I feel helpless in stopping this, as she will see it as a rejection of her rather than my commitment to Christ, and I stand to lose her, I’m sure of it, because she will think there is something wrong with me. She thinks its important that we find out if we are sexually compatible prior to getting too involved, because that is such a big part of spending a lifetime together.

What the heck do I do? I understand her reasons, but I don’t want to commit mortal Sin. I don’t want to continue going through life looking for someone, only to lose them because of my insistance that we abstain from sexual relations prior to marriage, but at the same time, I know what I’m doing to my soul. I feel helpless. Any idea’s?
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You walk away from her.

True love is wanting the best for someone…the total person. If she does not want what is best for your soul as well as your body then she does not love you.
 
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Franz:
Actually, the young adults group I am at in my church, is starting a study of the Theology of the Body by C.West.
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Excellent! Sign yourself up! 👍
 
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LSK:
True love is wanting the best for someone…the total person. If she does not want what is best for your soul as well as your body then she does not love you.
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Right…so if he wants the best for her…her total person…and she’s already expressed in interest to lead a more Catholic lifestyle…how would dumping her help??

They’re on a mutual journey. They aren’t at the same pace - yet - but why should he abandon her because of that? All relationships grow at different rates…what kind of preparation for a lifelong commitment would abandoning ship at the first sign of rough seas be?

What ever happened to ministering to those around you through words **and **action??
 
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cynic:
do you think peoples feelings for each other should be based on shared values. Should you love someone simply because they are an appropriate choice of partner?
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Love is a decision, not an emotion. So yes, you can choose whom to love. —KCT
 
NOTE- I didn’t read every post thoroughly, but did skim through it. 🙂

It must be extremely hard for you, Franz, I feel for you!
Code: 
 It's easier to say "dump her!" or "Marry her!" than to actually go through with it. In my opinion *both* suggestions aren't good. What if Franz is in love with this woman? Would you be able to just "dump" somebody you love? I sure wouldn't. Just because she wants this particular thing, doesn't mean that she isn't in love with Franz, but just has her priorities out of order.  Marrying her woulnd't be the best thing either..Franz and his girlfriend would be doing it for the wrong reason, and then Franz also says he's not ready (which is GOOD, especially since you two are having to sort out this problem).  I think that Franz should talk to her about *why* it's important to him that they wait. She could get something out of this- more than what dumping her would do; it'd definitely get the message across better. Give her the chance to sort of "convert", or come back to the church, Franz could make her a better person, and bring her closer to God. If he dumped her, she may just go further away from Him.
Good luck, Franz! I hope all goes well between you two.
 
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KCT:
Love is a decision, not an emotion. So yes, you can choose whom to love. —KCT
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Since when???

God is Love…that’s no emotion and no decision.

We don’t choose who we love, but we **do **choose to whom we commit our lives as an expression of our love for them.
 
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KCT:
Love is a decision, not an emotion. So yes, you can choose whom to love. —KCT
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meaning that person is not special to you, nothing separates them from anyone else, other than circumstances which made them an appropriate choice. Wouldn’t you love to say that to your hunsband/wife.
 
Cynic, why are you always so… cynical?

No, it doesn’t mean that the person is not special to you. The thing is though, that you don’t love because someone is special to you - real love should be unconditional, love for no other reason than that the other person is a child of God. I’m not sure what we call it when someone is special to you… but anyway. The other thing is that you can love lots of people without your love ‘spreading thin’ - just because someone loves lots of people doesn’t make their love for any one of those people less than if that person was the only one they loved.

The person you marry doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be the only person you love. They also don’t have to be and should be the only person you see beauty and goodness in. But they are the only person who you have that special spiritual connection, that unique relationship, who you can trust and give your loyalty to and raise children with and etc. That’s what makes the person you marry special to you - not the fact that you love them and only them.

Ah, now back to what Franz was asking about. Church teachings on premarital sex. Well, you can show her the CCC, that’s a good authoritative source.
Paragraphs 2331 - 2400 are about the 6th commandment (“Thou shalt not commit adultery”).
In particular, read the bits about chastity (2337 - 2350) and this offence against chastity called fornication -

**2353 ***Fornication *is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.
 
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Franz:
Here is my situation. I’m dating a woman, who is not really a practicing Catholic. I have told her about why I think its important to wait for sex until we get married, the whole shabang. We are getting more and more intimate, where one thing is leading to another. I feel helpless in stopping this, as she will see it as a rejection of her rather than my commitment to Christ, and I stand to lose her, I’m sure of it, because she will think there is something wrong with me. She thinks its important that we find out if we are sexually compatible prior to getting too involved, because that is such a big part of spending a lifetime together.

What the heck do I do? I understand her reasons, but I don’t want to commit mortal Sin. I don’t want to continue going through life looking for someone, only to lose them because of my insistance that we abstain from sexual relations prior to marriage, but at the same time, I know what I’m doing to my soul. I feel helpless. Any idea’s?
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mortal sin to have sex before marriage?!!!

are you kidding me?

sex is a way of releasing your inhibitions, stress and having fun. If you feel ready,then if you find a perfect one GO FOR IT. But don’t do it in vain. And if it’s a mortal sin to do so, then God Allmight y will send me to hell for doing so (as well as for saying his name in vain). ah this world is out of their minds.
 
Franz, tell her “If you want to have sex, then let’s get married” it’s easier for her to accept rather than “Don’t have sex until we’ve got married”
 
UPDATE…Things have worked out quite well. After much discussion, not only does she now understand, but she fully accepts this and supports my position. She has been wonderful, and its amazing how God works in mysterious ways. I hope that this lasts with her, however this is certainly a good start.

Thanks to all who contributed to this thread, and all who prayed for me.
 
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Franz:
UPDATE…Things have worked out quite well. After much discussion, not only does she now understand, but she fully accepts this and supports my position. She has been wonderful, and its amazing how God works in mysterious ways. I hope that this lasts with her, however this is certainly a good start.

Thanks to all who contributed to this thread, and all who prayed for me.
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All good women would appreciate a man doing this. This is quality assurance test. Looks good.
 
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