Has anyone here been excluded form their Children's Mormon Temple Wedding?

[Tracy10]

An LDS temple wedding is just that - a wedding in an LDS temple.
Those who feel excluded might want to discuss the idea of having a second celebration with them that they can attend (possibly a week or two after the stress of the first event has died down). Children who have understood the message that the LDS promotes “family togetherness” will likely be understanding.

Those who want to take pictures of their children in “wedding attire” can still do so immediately outside of the Mormon Temple. They need not concern themselves with the fact that they don’t have pictures of them “inside.”

Wedding attire means nothing anyway. It 's worn only for “show.”

Has anyone here been excluded from their children’s LDS temple wedding? I know why they do it, and I am not looking to “Mormon Bash”. I just want to know if anyone here has had this experience and how they coped with it. I do not want this to turn into a discussion purely about the LDS church; I know all I want to about it; am just looking for others with the same experience.

Thank you -
Annie

 

[AMDGtoo]

An LDS temple wedding is just that - a wedding in an LDS temple.
Those who feel excluded might want to discuss the idea of having a second celebration with them that they can attend (possibly a week or two after the stress of the first event has died down). Children who have understood the message that the LDS promotes “family togetherness” will likely be understanding.

Those who want to take pictures of their children in “wedding attire” can still do so immediately outside of the Mormon Temple. They need not concern themselves with the fact that they don’t have pictures of them “inside.”

Wedding attire means nothing anyway. It 's worn only for “show.”

Actually, the wedding attire has nothing, nothing to do with it!!! The pain is from the insult of having your own flesh and blood (for whom you have gone through heck and back and sacrificed to the nth degree) declare that her own parents aren’t “worthy” and quite willingly excludes them while at the same time parrots that “Family First”.

My daughter wore her wedding attire at the “Open House” reception held two weeks later, but honestly the pain was already caused–the damage was done. I know I cried and I know she cried too. And I know for a fact that the tears were NOT from joy. Such a lovely, lovely memory that she will carry for the rest of her life!

 

[valient_Lucy]

Perhaps we can compare the fact that non-catholics can not receive communion with their catholic families. They are also excluded from partaking of the lord’s supper together.

For catholics, the holy communion is important and so, why exclude non-catholics? All churches have their quirks.

If I get married one day, my family members, who are not Catholic, will be able to attend my wedding. My mom won’t have to wait outside the building.

In addition, my husband and I could choose to have a wedding outside of a mass, so we would eliminate any embarrassment at the time of communion.

So the analogy doesn’t hold.

 

[zaffiroborant]

Children who have understood the message that the LDS promotes “family togetherness” will likely be understanding.

In this case I don’t see any promotion of “family togetherness” from the LDS, unless you define family as only those relatives who are church members. And even among themselves they divide up families.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I know an LDS family whose eldest married a young woman who was brought up evangelical, but converted. When they realized the daughter could not be talked out of conversion, they were told to consider the ring ceremony. My LDS friend could not understand why her son’s future in-laws were upset, as her son is a wonderful guy, was a great student, musically gifted, academically gifted, and just an all-around wonderful young man. I knew why. It was hard to find the words to tell her.

The couple did marry at the temple in Maryland, where the bride’s family resides, and not at the temple in SLC, where the groom’s family resides, even though the non-LDS weren’t getting in the temple, no way, no how. They went to a well-known DC area hotel for the ring ceremony and reception.

 

[zaffiroborant]

I know an LDS family whose eldest married a young woman who was brought up evangelical, but converted. When they realized the daughter could not be talked out of conversion, they were told to consider the ring ceremony. My LDS friend could not understand why her son’s future in-laws were upset, as her son is a wonderful guy, was a great student, musically gifted, academically gifted, and just an all-around wonderful young man. I knew why. It was hard to find the words to tell her.

These LDS parents are a far cry from the other LDS parents mentioned on this thread. The others not only understood the pain of the excluded parents but voluntarily didn’t participate in the wedding remaining with the excluded family. I find the lack of empathy from the LDS in this situation hard to fathom. LDS families put a great deal of store in their children being married in the temple, why is it so hard for them to see that other people have the same strong feelings about their own children’s marriage? It strikes me as totally callous in a sort of “well I’m ok what’s your problem” way.

 

[PaulDupre]

Perhaps we can compare the fact that non-catholics can not receive communion with their catholic families. They are also excluded from partaking of the lord’s supper together.

For catholics, the holy communion is important and so, why exclude non-catholics? All churches have their quirks.

why me, I am surprised that you, as a Catholic , do not know that a nuptial mass is not required when celebrating a Catholic wedding. If the Catholic liturgy is a sticking point for non-Catholic relatives or if one of the couple is non-Catholic, then the couple can opt to have a perfectly acceptable Catholic wedding without the nuptial mass.

Paul

 

[zaffiroborant]

why me, I am surprised that you, as a Catholic , do not know that a nuptial mass is not required when celebrating a Catholic wedding. If the Catholic liturgy is a sticking point for non-Catholic relatives or if one of the couple is non-Catholic, then the couple can opt to have a perfectly acceptable Catholic wedding without the nuptial mass.

Paul

That’s because Father O’Malley never brought it up.

 

[Annie_B]

An LDS temple wedding is just that - a wedding in an LDS temple.
Those who feel excluded might want to discuss the idea of having a second celebration with them that they can attend (possibly a week or two after the stress of the first event has died down). Children who have understood the message that the LDS promotes “family togetherness” will likely be understanding.

Those who want to take pictures of their children in “wedding attire” can still do so immediately outside of the Mormon Temple. They need not concern themselves with the fact that they don’t have pictures of them “inside.”

Wedding attire means nothing anyway. It 's worn only for “show.”

I am not interested in my daughter’s “wedding attire”. For all I care she could get married in jeans and a t-shirt; I just want to be there! Pictures are not iimportant - being there is!

Annie

 

[Annie_B]

Actually, the wedding attire has nothing, nothing to do with it!!! The pain is from the insult of having your own flesh and blood (for whom you have gone through heck and back and sacrificed to the nth degree) declare that her own parents aren’t “worthy” and quite willingly excludes them while at the same time parrots that “Family First”.

My daughter wore her wedding attire at the “Open House” reception held two weeks later, but honestly the pain was already caused–the damage was done. I know I cried and I know she cried too. And I know for a fact that the tears were NOT from joy. Such a lovely, lovely memory that she will carry for the rest of her life!

Well said! Pictures, parties and fancy clothes do not make a wedding. Who cares if everyone gets dressed up pretty and tries to pretend everything is ok??? Like I mentioned earlier, if the LDS church wanted to make it “all about family” they should REQUIRE a chapel wedding prior to a temple sealing so that all family could participate - or at the very least , observe. The tears should be stemming from joy - not sorrow.

Annie

 

[zaffiroborant]

Well said! Pictures, parties and fancy clothes do not make a wedding. Who cares if everyone gets dressed up pretty and tries to pretend everything is ok??? Like I mentioned earlier, if the LDS church wanted to make it “all about family” they should REQUIRE a chapel wedding prior to a temple sealing so that all family could participate - or at the very had least , observe. The tears should be stemming from joy - not sorrow.

Annie

The “it’s all about family” radio ads have played heavily in my area, they are quite trite and appealing and as a result I’ve had discuss it with my 4 girls(and the two other girls I drive to and from school). I’ve pointed out to them that should they chose marry an LDS, that all their family, me, dad, sisters, grama, all of which they are indescribably close to, and aunts uncles cousins (and on my side all the second cousins, I’m really close to my cousins, ya contrary to LDS propaganda others have close knot families) would be excluded.

Do I hope this will have an impact? YES when they decide who they will look to with a view of marriage I hope it will color their choices just as any LDS parent hopes the same. I hope my girls chose not to exclude the family God gave them just as LDS hope for the conversion of the bride/groom and the resulting exclusion of the family.

I’ve also pointed out to them that my personal feeling is that their ads about family are deceptive in light of their exclusionary policy. This is just a part of my discussion about the “aims” of advertising and to be honest I’m glad that the LDS participate in the questionable medium of tv and radio ads. It puts them right up with the Ginsu Knives.

 

[why_me]

The couple did marry at the temple in Maryland, where the bride’s family resides, and not at the temple in SLC, where the groom’s family resides, even though the non-LDS weren’t getting in the temple, no way, no how. They went to a well-known DC area hotel for the ring ceremony and reception.

And that was my point. The non-member family members can still see the ring ceremony and attend the reception. The lds temple wedding ceremony is very brief, not like a catholic wedding. The ring ceremony and vows can be longer and much more rewarding for the non-lds members.

 

[why_me]

When Annie came on the board she was a mormon defending the faith. This was in December. Now, she is not a mormon and complains about the lds wedding ceremony. The point is: Annie knew the rules. As a member she understood the rules about temple marriage and most likely had no problems with it as an active member.

I have said it before on this thread. I am not an active mormon and so, I could not attend my daughters’ weddings when they do occur. But I know the rules and I will not complain about it when the time comes.

Also, converting to catholicism does not mean that a mormon temple recommend is not valid. If Annie was an active lds member in good standing and has a valid temple recommend she can still go to the temple. However the recommend may not be renewed when the time comes for renewal.

 

[dolphinlove]

Why on earth would they exclude anyone? Isnt it about trying to entice people to your religion, not exclude them?
But then again, you are doing a favour for the people by locking them out, at least they wont be lead into a false religion.

 

[why_me]

Why on earth would they exclude anyone? Isnt it about trying to entice people to your religion, not exclude them?
But then again, you are doing a favour for the people by locking them out, at least they wont be lead into a false religion.

Mormons consider the temple to be a holy place…god’s home. Only worthy mormons can enter the temple. However, all can enter a lds church and attend a mormon service.

Why would the catholic church withold communion to non-catholics? All should be able to partake of communion…catholic and non-catholic regardless of worthiness. Do you agree? Probably not. All faiths have rules.

 

[BartBurk]

Mormons consider the temple to be a holy place…god’s home. Only worthy mormons can enter the temple. However, all can enter a lds church and attend a mormon service.

Why would the catholic church withold communion to non-catholics? All should be able to partake of communion…catholic and non-catholic regardless of worthiness. Do you agree? Probably not. All faiths have rules.

All Catholic churches are holy places to Catholics. Jesus is physically present in the Eucharist in the tabernacle almost every day of the year. The difference is that Jesus wants people to come visit him. A non-Catholic or divorced Catholic can go into a Catholic chapel and be in the presence of Jesus.

Mormons only allow worthy Mormons to partake of their sacraments. Non-members and unworthy members are not supposed to participate. I don’t really know what your point is about Catholics excluding people from participating in communion. Only some variations of Protestants believe that anyone is allowed to participate in communion.

I tend to agree with those who would allow a public wedding prior to the temple wedding. I do have to admit that one thing I like about Mormon temple weddings is they tend to be inexpensive. In that regard, the poor Mormon and the rich Mormon are treated equally by having a simple service in the temple.

 

[Annie_B]

When Annie came on the board she was a mormon defending the faith. This was in December. Now, she is not a mormon and complains about the lds wedding ceremony. The point is: Annie knew the rules. As a member she understood the rules about temple marriage and most likely had no problems with it as an active member.

I have said it before on this thread. I am not an active mormon and so, I could not attend my daughters’ weddings when they do occur. But I know the rules and I will not complain about it when the time comes.

Also, converting to catholicism does not mean that a mormon temple recommend is not valid. If Annie was an active lds member in good standing and has a valid temple recommend she can still go to the temple. However the recommend may not be renewed when the time comes for renewal.

I never said that I was “active” and in good standing…Never had a temple recomend and never will. I defended the faith because I thought it needed defending here. I still defend everyone’s right to believe what they want. And no, when I joined the LDS church, I did NOT know that only members in good standing could attend tmeples for weddings of their families. Your post seems to be based on an assumption that was incorrect. ** You stated that the point is that I knew the rules. The real point is that they do not tell everyone all the rules before they join! **
Annie

 

[Annie_B]

Why on earth would they exclude anyone? Isnt it about trying to entice people to your religion, not exclude them?
But then again, you are doing a favour for the people by locking them out, at least they wont be lead into a false religion.

 

[Annie_B]

Mormons consider the temple to be a holy place…god’s home. Only worthy mormons can enter the temple. However, all can enter a lds church and attend a mormon service.

Why would the catholic church withold communion to non-catholics? All should be able to partake of communion…catholic and non-catholic regardless of worthiness. Do you agree? Probably not. All faiths have rules.

All faiths have rules. However not all faiths exclude others because they are not members. Though one should not receive communion in a Catholic church, they are still allowed to attend all the services and ceremonies, which is more than can be said of LDS.

Annie

 

[Mapi]

I never said that I was “active” and in good standing…Never had a temple recomend and never will. I defended the faith because I thought it needed defending here. I still defend everyone’s right to believe what they want. And no, when I joined the LDS church, I did NOT know that only members in good standing could attend tmeples for weddings of their families. Your post seems to be based on an assumption that was incorrect. ** You stated that the point is that I knew the rules. The real point is that they do not tell everyone all the rules before they join! **
Annie

that’s right!! first the milk and then the meat.

They don’t really tell you the truth because they know that if people really knew the truth about the lds church, most people wont’convert