L
LynnieLew
Guest
That is what my sister said and she is single and 35 and went back to college a few years ago to get a career to support herself.
- Status
O
OldAgeGuru
Guest
I didn’t have to pay. I got a scholarship and my parents paid room and board. Even if I did have to pay, it would have been worth every last penny.See, I tricked it out of ya without even having to pay for 3 credit hours or a semester in the dorm!
Lizanne, necessity is the mother of invention. We came up with random ideas like that ALL the time. Ahhh dorms, and apartment life. It’s a little fun and exciting to be the student kind of poor.
P
puzzleannie
Guest
as I understand OP the question is not whether or not she should go to college, but how can she answer her mother’s objection and solve her own dilemma at the same time: how to meet good men object: dating and eventual courtship and marriage, and how to get into a circle of friends her own age. It would seem the obvious answer, if there are no young people where she is (I doubt it unless her folks are in a retirement community) is to go where young people are, and that usually means out to work if you are not in college or any other higher-education institution.
It used to be that a young lady lived at home until her marriage, and that the purpose of her parents’ social life was to arrange occasions where she could meet, under the parental eye, young men who were sons or relatives of their friends. Since today’s parents seem not willing to undertake that role anymore, that means it is left to the young ladies to form their own social set and meet men, entirely without parental guidance and supervision. So if this poster were my daughter I would be helping her find a job and a place of her own.
It used to be that a young lady lived at home until her marriage, and that the purpose of her parents’ social life was to arrange occasions where she could meet, under the parental eye, young men who were sons or relatives of their friends. Since today’s parents seem not willing to undertake that role anymore, that means it is left to the young ladies to form their own social set and meet men, entirely without parental guidance and supervision. So if this poster were my daughter I would be helping her find a job and a place of her own.
L
leonie
Guest
interesting point, annie. Things have changed in courtship and not for the better.
Maybe the parents think that encouraging Catholic college would put her in the best circumstances.
When I went to college one of my friends told me that 90% of college students have met the person they will marry by the sophomore year. I wonder if I can find the statistic somewhere.
C
Celeste88
Guest
Even if a woman aspires to be a SAHM, she should still have some kind of college in her background, hopefully a degree . Economically things are getting worse, it takes two people to support a family these days. That is one reason. Second, you never know what can happen to your husband, he can die, become disabled or fall in love with his secretary, what will you do then? You think its easy to support 5 kids being a waitress if you have a bad back and bunions? Plenty of women are doing just that wishing they had an education and a better job.
G
gmarie21
Guest
I heard the same thing however it didn’t pertain to meeting the person at college, just that by that age in your life, somewhere in your life you’ve met the person you’ll marry. I heard a story with this about a woman showing her husband pictures of herself when at Disney World when she was a child. Her husband was in the background in the crowd of the picture. She had met him after college, but they did “see each other” when they were little. This story is what I think they mean by the statement that “90% have met the person they’ll marry by their sophomore year of college” not that they’ll meet them in college.When I went to college one of my friends told me that 90% of college students have met the person they will marry by the sophomore year. I wonder if I can find the statistic somewhere.
C
chicago
Guest
She has commented somewhere that she, indeed, lives in a retirement community where there are few young people around her age. Apparently, she is the oldest of the “other kids” in the community. This would also seem to account for why her parents (or was it just her mom, well whatever the case) are recommending college as a social opportunity.
The good and the bad of this is that it would, indeed, get her among a wider variety of young people in her age range, perhaps culturating her more so with that crowd. That could have a positive value on the one hand, but a negative on the other if she just quite fit in with such a “peer group” due to her unique life experience and maturity. It could both build her up, tear her down, or simply be an uncomfortable setting for better or worse in helping her to somehow grow or be held back from what comes more natural. Which is why, ultimately, she has to make a personal decision as to what is best for her alone, all general suggestions prudently considered, then taken for what their worth as to how they apply or don’t to furthering her path in life.
B
BLB_Oregon
Guest
You are absolutely right. There are people who opted out of higher education who live to regret it. Nevertheless, there are also people who took poor advantage of the education they paid for who live to regret that, too.
A person who goes to college in spite of not having the least bit of appreciation of the education to be had there is just as likely to wind up a waitress with a degree that is not marketable and student loans to pay off on top of it.
My advice would be to save and invest the money you would be spending to go to college as a seed fund for
a) changing your mind and going to college after all
b) money and self-support funds for learning a trade
c) money for launching business venture
d) money for a down-payment on a home
e) money available to transfer to tax-free retirement investments.
Whatever you do, don’t let these years go to waste financially as you wait around for someone to show up who is going to support you. The man God has in mind for you, after all, may need* you* to support* him*
BTW: Let it not going without saying that waiting tables is honorable work and nothing to be looked down on. In other words, it is a profession that a person capable of something else might choose. For those who are dedicated enough and who find a good position, it can lead to a sizable annual income, too.
L
leonie
Guest
In contrast to all the college advocates, I don’t think a college education is necessary. But, if one does go to college, I think the intellectual and spiritual atmosphere is very important. Many state schools and community colleges don’t have rigorous intellectual stimuli or authentic Christian morality.
I feel that there is a some prejudice about college. College is not the only or even in many cases the best way to develop your mind or career. It is very possible to self educate through good reading and apprenticeships.
Of course, for specific trades, college is often required.
In retrospect, I believe my college education was a waste of time. It’s funny that when I say this, I get a lot of negative feedback. I think it’s something of a politically incorrect thing to say. If college wasn’t useful to me, then it must be my fault in some way.
College has become some sort of esteemed institution that cannot be criticized.
I feel that there is a some prejudice about college. College is not the only or even in many cases the best way to develop your mind or career. It is very possible to self educate through good reading and apprenticeships.
Of course, for specific trades, college is often required.
In retrospect, I believe my college education was a waste of time. It’s funny that when I say this, I get a lot of negative feedback. I think it’s something of a politically incorrect thing to say. If college wasn’t useful to me, then it must be my fault in some way.
College has become some sort of esteemed institution that cannot be criticized.
O
OutinChgoburbs
Guest
I am not for or against college. I do think people need skills. I don’t think it would hurt the OP to acquire some marketable skills, even if and especially if she is called to marriage. Most marketable skills these days require a certificate of some sort as proof of the skills. One of the cheapest places to acquire such skills, besides working in the field, is at the local community college.
J
jmcrae
Guest
I have met exactly one person in my whole life who became successful without a formal education - and I couldn’t be in the room with him for more than five minutes, he was such a total bore.
An education doesn’t only give you the means to make a living (should you choose to get a job after college), it also gives you something interesting to talk about, and a way to keep your mind engaged, no matter what you do next, after you’ve got your education.
Don’t waste your brain; feed it. Get an education; you won’t regret it!
An education doesn’t only give you the means to make a living (should you choose to get a job after college), it also gives you something interesting to talk about, and a way to keep your mind engaged, no matter what you do next, after you’ve got your education.
Don’t waste your brain; feed it. Get an education; you won’t regret it!
C
chicago
Guest
I suppose that all depends upon how one defines “sucsess”.
N
newf
Guest
Thankfully, it doesn’t depend on how you SPELL the word success.
C
chicago
Guest
Hey, don’t make fun of my lisp!
J
jmcrae
Guest
He’s a multi-millionaire - but yes, I know people who don’t define success that way, and are successful in their own ways - for example, my friend from next door wanted to be an actress, and she has become quite well-known as an actress in a different city - she’s also doing fairly well financially, from what I understand - and she has an arts degree, as well.
I actually don’t know anyone without a degree who defines success outside of financial considerations, and I also don’t know anyone who’s in debt who thinks they’re doing brilliantly, although I do know people of modest means who define success as “doing what makes me happy” and are actually doing that - they all have at least a year of college, though.
L
LittleRose
Guest
“Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives.”
–Jane Austen
–Jane Austen
C
chicago
Guest
So where’s the “magic line” then? One year of college? One semester? Or a graduate degree?
J
jmcrae
Guest
I don’t know if there’s a “magic line” but there is a qualitative difference between being in college and being in high school.
The experience of being responsible for your own learning, without someone telling you to go to classes or how much homework you should do, the process of doing your own first-hand research without reading about it in a book, the process of presenting your findings in a coherent manner to other experts on the subject on a somewhat equal footing (obviousy not totally equal, since they are grading you, but also them realizing that you could discover something they didn’t know before) - just going through that process, even if you discover that you’re not very good at it, adds an extra dimension to your ability to experience life, and gives you tools that serve you for the rest of your life, even if you spend it doing menial work, or keeping house and raising children. And, as I mentioned above, gives you something to talk about; a subject that you have not only read about, but also contributed to in some small way, with little discoveries of your own.
C
chicago
Guest
So, that sort of thing doesn’t happpen just as well in the “real world” of work and life experience? If not better? Shoot, I know people who hold doctorates that ridicule college and university environments as essentially a sheltered political morass that doesn’t teach anything really worthwhile.
J
jmcrae
Guest
Not the kind of assembly-line jobs that people get who only have their high school diploma. They don’t make you an oil sands engineer if you’ve never studied Engineering.
Sure, it’s political and inbred - so are most Fortune 500 companies. If you can’t deal with red tape and all that goes with it, you won’t make it in the “real world,” either.
- Status