HELP my parents want me to go to college!

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Look for an inexpensive college in a good diocese to get your general electives. Couldn’t hurt anything. I would recommend the Lincoln Diocese in Nebraska. I wouldn’t look for friends in the college but instead look in the pews in one of the churches. The Bishop in that area is wonderful and I would think that there would be Catholic activities that would interest you.
 
Not the kind of assembly-line jobs that people get who only have their high school diploma. They don’t make you an oil sands engineer if you’ve never studied Engineering.
But they don’t likely make you an engineer if you’ve only taken some basic core classes over one year of college, either. So, again, it gets back to where the “magic line” is for “success”.
Sure, it’s political and inbred - so are most Fortune 500 companies. If you can’t deal with red tape and all that goes with it, you won’t make it in the “real world,” either.
Yet, the testimony of many a college grad is that, “This kind of experience never prepared me for the ‘real world’.”
 
But they don’t likely make you an engineer if you’ve only taken some basic core classes over one year of college, either.
No, but you do qualify for more interesting things that they will train you on.
Yet, the testimony of many a college grad is that, “This kind of experience never prepared me for the ‘real world’.”
I’m a college graduate. (Art school.) The only differences I’m noticing are that I need to be more self-motivated than I was when I was in school, being self-employed, and I get paid in money for what I do, instead of just grades. And sometimes I have to take extra, unrelated work on the side, if things are slow - but I was doing that in college, too.

PS: I graduated in 1984. Maybe things are different, nowadays.
 
Have any of you still carrying this thread along notice that the mature 17 yr old (and I am taking a big leap here) has only 3 posts on this thread? Hmmmm…didn’t seem to like the advice of the sage women who posted.

Hope she remembers, that she who waits for her knight, cleans up after his horse. 😃
 
No, but you do qualify for more interesting things that they will train you on.
Such possibilities are not available for topical discussion or opportunity to those who don’t attend these college classes or experience campus life? Those who never went to college can’t appreciate them and take them up on their own or via other routes?
 
Such possibilities are not available for topical discussion or opportunity to those who don’t attend these college classes or experience campus life? Those who never went to college can’t appreciate them and take them up on their own or via other routes?
SIGH. Maybe there are some, but I have never met anyone with only a high school education who was even remotely interested in such things - they remain with the high school mentality of “how little can I get away with, and how much will I get?” along with what’s on television, and who of their friends is getting married, pregnant, etc.
 
SIGH. Maybe there are some, but I have never met anyone with only a high school education who was even remotely interested in such things - they remain with the high school mentality of “how little can I get away with, and how much will I get?” along with what’s on television, and who of their friends is getting married, pregnant, etc.
I think that the discrepancy that you are noticing has less to do with the college education itself and more to do the demographics.

In our society, middle class people with ambition are almost always steered towards college. Those who aren’t intellectually motivated are steered away from college. Does that mean that those who go to college become educated or successful because of college?

Would that group of people become self educated and successful no matter what avenue they pursued?

Quite possibly.

I’m not anti-college, but I dispute that it is the only way to be educated or successful financially.
 
SIGH. Maybe there are some, but I have never met anyone with only a high school education who was even remotely interested in such things - they remain with the high school mentality of “how little can I get away with, and how much will I get?” along with what’s on television, and who of their friends is getting married, pregnant, etc.
Hmmm… interesting that this would be your experience. I know both people who DO have college educations that very much have this “high school mentality” (as you call it) as well as fascinating people without collegiate experience who are often well learned and articulate (and, additionally, often speaking from experience and culture which the college educated only tend to ruminate about in the third person) beyond belief. Indeed, frequently I find that those with college educations tend to assume that, “I have my education” and quit, while among those without such a degree there can be a signifigant drive such that they become voracious readers, excellent conversationalists, and lifelong learners, seeking opportunities to enrich and discuss themselves and the world around them. Shoot, you’d be amazed at the homeless people (perhaps without even a high school diploma) I’ve met at the public library who take advantage of everything they can. Or hang out at a tavern sometime. Not the yuppie bars, mind you, but a real bluecollar neighborhood haunt. Wonderful wisdom, hard earned, to be found there that you’ll never discover in a classroom. Natuarlly, it goes the other way with both types, too, as you suggest. But I fail to see how this really has anything at all to do with how far someone went with formal schooling. Rather, it is just a matter of individual curiosity and culture, IMO. Now, what I also recognize are prejudices on each side of the divide about how the “others” live and view with scorn but not understanding “us”.
 
Have any of you still carrying this thread along notice that the mature 17 yr old (and I am taking a big leap here) has only 3 posts on this thread? Hmmmm…didn’t seem to like the advice of the sage women who posted.

Hope she remembers, that she who waits for her knight, cleans up after his horse. 😃
Perhaps she is simply reading what everyone has posted thus far.

My own personal opinion is that she attend a community college and then decide what she wants to do. There is no law that says that homemakers can’t have some education.

By the way, my husband is my knight in shining armor and he very gallantly cleans up after his own horse.🙂
 
Hmmm… interesting that this would be your experience. I know both people who DO have college educations that very much have this “high school mentality” (as you call it) as well as fascinating people without collegiate experience who are often well learned and articulate (and, additionally, often speaking from experience and culture which the college educated only tend to ruminate about in the third person) beyond belief. Indeed, frequently I find that those with college educations tend to assume that, “I have my education” and quit, while among those without such a degree there can be a signifigant drive such that they become voracious readers, excellent conversationalists, and lifelong learners, seeking opportunities to enrich and discuss themselves and the world around them. Shoot, you’d be amazed at the homeless people (perhaps without even a high school diploma) I’ve met at the public library who take advantage of everything they can. Or hang out at a tavern sometime. Not the yuppie bars, mind you, but a real bluecollar neighborhood haunt. Wonderful wisdom, hard earned, to be found there that you’ll never discover in a classroom. Natuarlly, it goes the other way with both types, too, as you suggest. But I fail to see how this really has anything at all to do with how far someone went with formal schooling. Rather, it is just a matter of individual curiosity and culture, IMO. Now, what I also recognize are prejudices on each side of the divide about how the “others” live and view with scorn but not understanding “us”.
I don’t know, since around here, we also classify polytechnical schools as “colleges” - “blue collar” workers do apprenticeship training and post-secondary studies, as well, which is basically what university college is for the “white-collar” class - an apprenticeship in life-long learning, experiential study (no books), etc. that is essential to the kind of work that they ultimately do.

Both the scientist and the carpenter went to college; either university college or else polytechnical college, for their trades, and learned (apprenticed, one way or another) from people who were working actively in that job - and I think it’s that experience of learning from the wisdom of a mentor, and working hands-on in the field that changes ones world-view from the “me” perspective to the “wow, what a fascinating world we live in; guess what I found out today” perspective. I certainly would never consider a carpenter, plumber, etc. to be “uneducated” since most of them actually did more years of college than I did.
 
I don’t know, since around here, we also classify polytechnical schools as “colleges” - “blue collar” workers do apprenticeship training and post-secondary studies, as well, which is basically what university college is for the “white-collar” class - an apprenticeship in life-long learning, experiential study (no books), etc. that is essential to the kind of work that they ultimately do.
When I say “blue collar”, I have in mind everything from the “skilled laborer” to the truck driver to the immigrant day laborer. Some of those have received “technical training” via an institution, some learn “on the job”.
Both the scientist and the carpenter went to college; either university college or else polytechnical college, for their trades,
It’s interesting that you essentially acknowledge something which Cardinal George has taken a lot of criticism for pointing out… namely that “colleges and univesities” of our day are really nothing more than trade schools.

In any case, it would seem that what you are ultimately arguing is what someone else pointed out earlier in that “skills” are the necessary tool for earnings (though not necessarily an enriched life).
… and learned (apprenticed, one way or another) from people who were working actively in that job - and I think it’s that experience of learning from the wisdom of a mentor, and working hands-on in the field that changes ones world-view from the “me” perspective to the “wow, what a fascinating world we live in; guess what I found out today” perspective.
Fair enough and I might agree with your assessment there. Indeed, I would advocate more of a mentorship/apprentice practice for fostering learning and job development, myself. However, I would also note that in the genuine world of schooling of job market these days, most people really do end up just biding their time to get whatever their needs are satisfied (economically or otherwise) and probably are not discovering the world around them in quite the way you suppose. Ultimately, therefore, I’ll stand by my position that this has much more to do with individual motivation and curiosity than anything educational related, even though the educational environment is certainly one way of opening up these possibilities.
 
It’s interesting that you essentially acknowledge something which Cardinal George has taken a lot of criticism for pointing out… namely that “colleges and univesities” of our day are really nothing more than trade schools.
He’s right. What’s interesting to me is that he’s taking so much flak for stating the obvious.
In any case, it would seem that what you are ultimately arguing is what someone else pointed out earlier in that “skills” are the necessary tool for earnings (though not necessarily an enriched life).
If I were in charge of the world, everyone would be required to attend at least one year of art school before being allowed to get a full-time “adult” job and before going on to either university or polytechnical college - but even art school is an apprenticeship, even though it’s an apprenticeship in creative philosophy.
 
My own personal opinion is that she attend a community college and then decide what she wants to do. There is no law that says that homemakers can’t have some education.
I think this is good advice, especially if the OP is planning on running a business out of her home. It couldn’t hurt to have up-to-date training on business software, accounting, etc.
 
Dear Friend,
I don’t need college it’s not for everyone and if you go read my other thread you’ll understand. I just want to get married. I am not saying right now. I would just like to have good catholic friends right now but there are none where I live! You can be successful in other ways beside college!

God Bless,
Going to school can make you a good mother and wife.

When you say you want to get married, what do you mean by that? Do you mean you want to be a good mother and wife?

Are you making this decision because you feel a desire (perhaps from God) placed in your heart?

Do you want to have sex?

Or do you really want a child?

Is it a status issue? Some people want to go to college because it is a status symbol. Are you sure you don’t want to get married for the same reason?

It seems strange that you think going to college won’t help you be a good wife. Few people are raised with the level of education, experience, life skills and independence that allows for being a good wife. Seems that “back then” a woman was raised with many important skills so going to school was extra intended for a specific area of interest such as medicine or teaching.

Now I bump into twenty year olds who don’t know how to balance a checkbook or cook food, let alone what a 401K is or how to identify symptoms in children that are dangerous vs. harmless.

Exactly how skilled are you? Have you taken any biology or human anatomy classes so that you are prepared for a healthy pregnancy? Do you have training and experience in caring for children? Have you any education in psychology for mental and emotional health? Do you have any basic communication skills to handle issues that come up in married life?

Do you have credit history? Have you been saving? How much do you have? Is it in a roth or a 401? Do you know how to purchase a home, balance a checkbook, budget a whole household?

Usually nowadays, people feel the need to go to school for the experience as much as the books, so that they can get some time to live on their own and figure it out. Or if they already have much experience (perhaps some good training parents) they feel the need to marry before or without college education. For some reason, I highly doubt you have even started some of the things mentioned here.
 
P.s. I want to add that I’m not biased towards going to school or putting down those who choose not to. I think I would have done very well marrying early without any college education.

But I feel that way because my parents really tried their hardest to teach me many life skills. I am young and not experienced, but I have the information and the habit of applying information. I was raised to run a big household efficiently, take care of many people’s needs at varying ages, care for mental and physical health, budget, save money for retirement, etc etc. Those things were required learning in my home.

Do you really have the basic skills for marriage? Something about the way you dismiss college kind of implies that you don’t have the careful thought process that many people use when they are comfortable with learning, applying and building skills.

Of course, now that I am going to school I’ll be able to legally have home births… 😃 A great thing as it is already illegal to do so without an M.D. present.
 
please listen to me!
You NEED college. I thought I didn’t need college either. I thought I would get married and raise a family with dear hubby supporting us. Oh, I imagined I would work too, but I thought My family would be the main thing.

Well, I got married and had a beautiful child. Now I am getting divorced and trying to figure out how to support myself and my child. Yes of course the state says I should get child support but does he actually pay it? NO.

Please get a degree in something! you don’t have to use it, but It will be there if you need it. At least take some computer classes, get a 2 year degree, or some trade school degree. Think about your future. If you don’t think about your future, then think about your future children’s future. Yes, you may get married and it may be wonderful. What If something happens to your husband? What if for some reason he gets sick or cannot work? Could you provide for a family on minimum wage?

if not for yourself, do it for your future children.
I hate having to “save up” so I can get my daughter he much needed new shoes.
 
Going to school can make you a good mother and wife.

It seems strange that you think going to college won’t help you be a good wife. Few people are raised with the level of education, experience, life skills and independence that allows for being a good wife.

Now I bump into twenty year olds who don’t know how to balance a checkbook or cook food, let alone what a 401K is or how to identify symptoms in children that are dangerous vs. harmless.

Exactly how skilled are you? Have you taken any biology or human anatomy classes so that you are prepared for a healthy pregnancy? Do you have training and experience in caring for children? Have you any education in psychology for mental and emotional health? Do you have any basic communication skills to handle issues that come up in married life?
No offense, but most college students learn little to no skills that pertain to marriage or parenting. Unless you’re a major in a science, most colleges do not require biology or anatomy (I have a B.S. and never once took a bio or anat class, but rather physics classes). You learn how to balance a checkbook when you have a checking account, college doesn’t teach that either (I learned how to balance a checkbook in 6th grade math class and when I had my own checking account in high school, I already knew how to balance my check book). Also, college does not teach communication skills. If you decide to major in comm or psych, then you may learn these skills, but again, communication skills usually is learned by an individual on their own time and many do not seek to learn “proper” communication skills unless their in a failed relationship and realize that things (including their communication) need to change.

I also believe, as a college graduate, that college can be a hinderance to many for being a good spouse. Because there is that “independence” and that expectation to be independent after college, one can get very set in their ways so as to set themselves up for lacking compromise in a marriage, living as individuals instead of as a couple.

I have heard over and over again that in recent years the first year of the first baby’s life is the hardest on a marriage and that many couples don’t make it as a result of that first year. It may have to do with the fact that before the child, the individuals in the marriage could still live a rather independent life, and when a child is involved, that’s the first time they really have to start living as a unit instead of as individuals. When two strongwilled independent people have to agree on diaper rashes and discipline, etc., there can be real problems. College doesn’t teach a person to compromise, to know which battles to choose, to sacrafice oneself for another. Individual students may do that, but whether or not they are in college would not affect or alter a person’s personality and charity.

I think the OP has a lot of skills that many college grads do not. If she’s planning on continuing the family business, she already knows all that the family business is about. I just think if someone truly does not want to attend college immediately after high school, then that should be accepted. The OP never stated that she’d NEVER go to college, she’s open to the idea, she just doesn’t want to go at this point in her life.
 
Be educated. If you get married and have children, you will serve your children better by being educated. How could you homeschool them WELL without being educated yourself? If you don’t homeschool, how could you assist with their studies if you are not educated yourself?

Get an education.
Everyone keeps saying get an education as if that is what the vast majority of people going to college get. I know very few college graduates who got an education–most of them got a “trade”. College is todays trade school. Met any well educated engineers or business majors or doctors lately? Not likely–they are in college learning a skill to market–not getting educated.
Lastly if you can read you can get an education without going to college.
That said I’d still be in college today if I could but then I went to get an education and not a trade. I went back to get the job skills since my first degree was not all that marketable.

Peace,
Mark
 
Thanks for the advice but I decided If I do go I will go later!
So no worries! Thanks for all the help!

Kas
Good for you Kasi. 👍

Might I offer some suggestions for the mean time?

Step 1) Perhaps once you have finished high school you could undertake to continue your education yourself. Join the local library and ask for some reading lists. For example you could choose a favourite author and read every work they’ve had published. Or pick an interesting non-fiction topic (e.g. Ancient Rome) and read everything you can find on it. Maybe select a literary award list or a classics list and work through each book. Join a book club, even an online one and chat with others about the themes and ideas raised in the books. Reading widely is the best way to round out one’s education and can help us brush up on our spelling and fine tune our grammer. Discussing books with others is a great way to meet like minded friends and keep the brain cells firing.

Step 2) Next, get a job, preferably somewhere that you can mix with a wide range of people as opposed to working alone. Dealing with customers, relating to co-workers and managers, handling your own pay packet - all good maturing stuff. Save every penny you possibly can. 👍

Step 3) Fill your evenings and weekends with Mass, volunteering and spending time with family and friends. Take a course, learn a new skill. Use the net to find groups for young Catholics - hang out there - travel further a field if you don’t have anything in your area.

Step 4) Celebrate your 18th birthday. 🙂 You are now officially allowed to choose your own adventure.

Step 5) Get yourself a passport, a backpack, and an airline ticket to Anywhere. Hopefully by this time you have enough savings to purchase this and have a little left over. When you arrive Anywhere get a job and work your way from place to place - see what opportunities come your way. If you’re not keen on travelling alone you might have met some friends at work/youth group by now who also have itchy feet. Continue step 5) until you run out of money or energy or bravado.

Step 6) Return to your country of origin. Resume discernment process re college and marriage.

Please note: Omit step 6) if you happen to meet Mr Right in Anywhere. In this case read alternative Step 6)*

*Alternative Step 6) In cases of romantic attatchments log on to forums.catholic-questions.org and go to the Family Life thread titled “Don’t Marry HIM If…” Heed the advice. :cool:

God Bless Kasi!
 
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