How giving is too much?

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I have had some REALLY funny older friends…who were in their 70s and 80s. They are SO funny.

They get to a point they know they are dying, probably soon, so they stop wasting time and bothering caring about what so-and-so thinks of them!

They stop wasting their lives worrying over crazy things. They worry about what´s important.

To clarify…which is more important, your girlfriend or what others think?
 
Oh yeah, and my elderly friends used to keep repeating, time and again to me, “Why do you CARE what other people think?!”

To that, I used to just laugh, think it was funny. Now, I find myself asking you that question. Really, why DO you care so much about what all these others might think?
 
ClearWater said:
Oh yeah, and my elderly friends used to keep repeating, time and again to me, “Why do you CARE what other people think?!”

To that, I used to just laugh, think it was funny. Now, I find myself asking you that question. Really, why DO you care so much about what all these others might think?
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Yes it’s true what other think doesn’t matter. But I will say my two closest friends would be ok with they sort of hinted it but then again she cares what others think. To paraphrase a quote from Game of Thrones, take your weakness and make your armor so no one can hurt you with it. I’m probably too open I like to lay my issues bear holding it to me just feels like I’m hiding.
 
carguy said:
It’s very true. Just one thing still eats at me that my asking my cousin and my friends to help me process some of the very horrid things that happened in her last relationship and having that be problem cause it was told to me and only me. Like I feel asking someone at just 21 to comprehend something like having an engagement violtlated when clearly I’ve not had a relationship that deep was unfair. And that talking about our problems with others to get help is wrong cause my friends would somehow hate her
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What you did was violate a confidence. Gads, you sound like a younger version of my husband! He would do that with the kids, especially when they were teens. He’d talk to just about anybody about their problems, and then wonder why, when the gossip came back to them and me, we were so mad at him. :mad:

He still gossips horribly (he calls it sharing), but I call him on it right away. I don’t want to hear about other people’s problems - there is nothing I can do. If he would just say, lets pray for so-and-so, that would be fine, but he goes into unnecessary detail & violates the confidence of the one who spoke to him.

If you keep this up, your girlfriend will soon learn not to trust you.
 
Bonnie said:
What you did was violate a confidence. Gads, you sound like a younger version of my husband! He would do that with the kids, especially when they were teens. He’d talk to just about anybody about their problems, and then wonder why, when the gossip came back to them and me, we were so mad at him. :mad:

He still gossips horribly (he calls it sharing), but I call him on it right away. I don’t want to hear about other people’s problems - there is nothing I can do. If he would just say, lets pray for so-and-so, that would be fine, but he goes into unnecessary detail & violates the confidence of the one who spoke to him.

If you keep this up, your girlfriend will soon learn not to trust you.
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Ok I think I understand. That’s the over sharing thing and not understanding boundaries
 
Being generous is always admirable but if you can’t help yourself then how can you help others.
 
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