How important are wedding rings?

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mommamia

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How much importance to you place on wearing your wedding ring? Neither dh or I usually wear ours, he works with his hands and it could get caught, I work in a lab with chemicals that could damage the gold and often serious bacteria I don’t want on the ring. Today at the girls school, one of the mothers (who I don’t really know) chewed me out for not wearing it :confused: Said I was setting a bad example for the kids, and not respecting my marriage vows. (I can’t imagine what she would say if she found out I still use my maiden name)

I am totally confused, she made it sound like the Church says I must wear my ring, I have never heard that. And frankly, I know I am married as does most everyone I come into contact with. Dh also knows he is married and likes to tell everyone he meets about his family :o Is there some Church teaching on the ring? I always thought it was symbolic. I am some kind of horrible wife and mother because I don’t like to wear a ring?
 
No - she is a busy body that needs to mind her own business.

Folks like that really bug me. :mad:

~Liza
 
If a couple wasn’t wearing their wedding rings so that they could pass off as being available, then that’s wrong. But it sounds like you and your DH have perfectly good reasons for not wearing yours. I haven’t worn my wedding ring for a couple weeks now because my hands were swelling a little (from pregnancy). Do I think I’m setting a bad example? Nope. If someone was to ask if I was married, I’d set them straight. I think the lady who talked to you was honestly being a bit nosey and interfering. 🤷

That being said, I do like wearing my wedding ring and engagement ring because it’s a reminder of how much DH loves me and a reminder of our wedding day. :love:
 
I think if one works in the situations you described, it would be perfectly reasonable to not wear a wedding ring (or any jewelry on the hands) to work. I personally wear mine every day, and so does my husband. If I couldn’t wear it on my hands (and I couldn’t during the last part of my pregnancies), I’d wear my ring on a gold chain around my neck.

The whole “not wearing the ring” motif is used often in sitcoms or movies where the husband (or wife) is mad at the other one and wants to flirt, or pretend they’re not married.

I have a friend whose parents had a huge fight and both took off their wedding rings and never put them back on. Now my friend refuses to wear a traditional wedding ring–she has a turquoise ring that doesn’t look like an engagement or wedding ring, and wears that. But it doesn’t look like a wedding band.
 
Someone really needed to mind her own business. I’m afraid I would have just said that to her.

While my MIL never, ever took off her wedding band in 35 years of marriage, I have worn mine sporadically. I lost my original band and went a couple of years without one. I take it off sometimes if I’m baking or using lotion or whatever and then forget to put it on for a few days. OOPs., just looked at my hand and this is one of those days when I forgot to put it back on. Church has no opinion on this, unless not wearing your ring is for immoral reasons.
 
I’m sorry that lady was so nasty to you! I agree with everyone else - it’s not a sin to not wear your wedding ring. It sounds like you have good reasons not to.

My husband works in a steel mill. He does not wear his ring to work because of safety concerns. I would MUCH rather have him go to work without his wedding ring, than have him lose his finger because the ring got caught in a piece of machinery! :eek:
 
I love to wear my wedding rings…so does my dh. But, if we worked with our hands, or if we worked where it would be risky to take them off at work–I wouldn’t wear them. I notice a lot of married men at work who don’t wear them. I work in a corporate office, but none of my business. I wouldn’t want my husband to not wear his, it was special when we picked our bands out. I lost my engagement ring, and I wear a new one that we picked out together last year. I think he likes to also see me wearing something that is a symbol of our commitment, etc and that we picked out together.

But, the woman who said that to you was way out of line. None of her business. I never make presumptions. People might have a million reasons as to why they don’t wear one. As long as my dh wears his, that’s the only person I care about wearing one. lol!😃
 
Heck, we could not afford wedding rings when we got married. I finally bought myself a pawn shop simple thin plat band about 4 years ago. It has never been any big deal to either of us 🤷
 
That’s just silly. My dad never even had a ring and it sure didn’t make him less “married”. DH and I wear ours because it’s pretty (well mine 😉 ) and they remind us of our wedding vows. But I wouldn’t worry about someone else’s opinion of that.
 
lizaanne said:
No - she is a busy body that needs to mind her own business.

Folks like that really bug me. :mad:

~Liza
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No kidding. If she keeps it up you could remind her that the Church frowns on gossip and presumption and considers them to be sinful. Something tells me she might need to hear it.
 
Thanks!! I am not trying to come off as not married, lol. Just don’t want to spread anything. Its just tricky because I teach at the school, so I can’t exactly be rude to the parents. And I want to be a good example. But I am just not that sentimental about things. Even my wedding ring.
 
Rings are symbolic, but they in no way make or break a marriage! FI is very proud that he was able to give me this e-ring, and he loves when people ask to see it. I always say “FI designed the setting himself!” He gets a big kick out of it. I like it a lot, but when I take it off I’m still just as engaged as I am when it’s on my hand!

–
 
there is no Church teaching about it, challenge that exceedingly rude lady to provide a source for her unwarranted comment.

DD was not allowed to wear any jewelry at his work when newly married because of the machinery they worked with. I had mine cut off when pg with #3, and never could afford to have it fixed. Now that we could afford a new one, with my arthritic knuckles it would have to be made of elastic. I got the occasional rude comment, and always answered I have a husband, 3 kids, 2 mortgages, a dog and a cat, and 4 baskets of unfolded laundry, I don’t need a ring to know I am married.
 
Engagement rings and wedding rings are primarily profit centers for the jewelry business and the wedding-industrial complex.

Rings play no sacramental role and function as displays of wealth.

A marriage does not depend on jewelry to endure, any more than it requires a lavish and expensive celebration. Those are things designed to support wedding related businesses.
 
I used to work in electronics… and I didn’t DARE wear my rings… or any other jewelry(gold is a good conductor). Now I am in an office and rarely work with electrical… but when I do… yes the rings come off…

I am not wearing them right now however… because I took them off at lunch to soak them and make them sparkle…

Generally I do wear them… but sometimes it isn’t possible. You have a very good reason not to wear yours… and if nosey body asks again… just tell her that your work doesn’t allow for jewelry. That is, if you feel the need to answer her at all…
 
Magickman said:
Rings play no sacramental role
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But the rings ARE blessed by the priest during the marriage rite, so they are sacramentals, are they not?

Wedding rings do not have to be expensive and gaudy, and I believe the symbolism of them can be very powerful. We are Catholic, after all - symbols are important!
 
puzzleannie said:
there is no Church teaching about it, challenge that exceedingly rude lady to provide a source for her unwarranted comment.

DD was not allowed to wear any jewelry at his work when newly married because of the machinery they worked with. I had mine cut off when pg with #3, and never could afford to have it fixed. Now that we could afford a new one, with my arthritic knuckles it would have to be made of elastic. I got the occasional rude comment, and always answered I have a husband, 3 kids, 2 mortgages, a dog and a cat, and 4 baskets of unfolded laundry, I don’t need a ring to know I am married.
Click to expand...
:rotfl:
 
lizaanne said:
No - she is a busy body that needs to mind her own business.

Folks like that really bug me. :mad:

~Liza
Click to expand...
I agree.

My mom didn’t wear her rings (engagement/wedding, soldered together) when she was pregnant-her fingers were swollen!

Seriously, as long as the couple lives a good, faithful, Christian marriage, what does it matter?? Many Catholic couples all over the world can’t AFFORD wedding rings-doesn’t make them less married!
 
Here’s a funny story:

When my husband and I first went to the jewelry store to get my wedding band, I approached the saleslady and asked where the bands were kept. She immediately steered me over to the ones covered in diamonds. I, having always been a very simple kind of girl, asked if she didn’t have any plain gold bands, since that was what I always wanted. I thought if I already had such a beautiful engagement ring with a diamond, why would I have the need for more diamonds? I would feel greedy. She looked at me and said, “You silly girl,” and showed me the collection of plain bands.

Even though it was a funny situation, it made me feel really badly because it showed me that nowadays, a wedding is typically more about the bride’s dress and the diamonds than the marriage itself (trust me, I got more than my share of comments around the time of my wedding about how this is my day or “the focus is on you.”) To me, a plain wedding band represents purity, which makes me think of the Virgin Mary. What’s wrong with being toned-down?

All in all, the band is a physical symbol. How important that is depends on you but one must never forget that above all, more important than that is the marriage.
 
I stopped wearing my ring during pregnancy. And I got so much flack from total strangers that I purchased a silver “fake” ring from a store in the mall. Cost me $7.50 and instantly I was wearing a 1.5k on a platinum band and married to a surgeon. 😛

Dh said he was jealous. 😛 😛

Seriously though, the incidents were ridiculous. People (usually older white males) would come up to me and grab my hand, inspect it, stare meaningfully at my stomach, then tell me some ridiculous thing.

One time, I was talking to a contractor who helps out with a crisis pregnancy center/shelter. I’ve volunteered there and was pleased to find out he works for them for free. He couldn’t figure out why I was interested in talking to him (I was networking). So he assumed, in his words, “Oh, you must be living there. Sorry, I don’t remember your face.” lol!!!

Then one time I went out to eat w/ DH. It was to a fancy restaurant to celebrate our first date. I was clearly about to explode. He was wearing his ring. I handed the waiter DH’s credit card. And the waiter came back and said, “Miss X, I need your driver’s license to verify this credit card. It’s a man’s name.” I gave it to him. Then he said, “You are using your husband’s card to pay for this meal?” With a dark look and everything! You know, b/c 30 week pregnant, married women like to cheat with married men! And use their hubby’s card! OMGsh!! 🤷

/rant
 
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