I noticed the responses to your questions on this thread:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=299482
You asked for sources and information. The amount of reference material that was provided for you is more than a person could read in a year of serious study. Clearly, you haven’t really worked on that and you’re looking at internet discussion boards as your only source of data. That’s a fairly typical characteristic of the new breed of internet-atheists.
So, I could give you more links that you could ignore. Or, I could assume that you know how to use Google but you don’t want to since there is nobody who is going to listen to you that way.
You’re looking for God, but you can’t find Him. That’s not something I would go around bragging about. It’s spiritual blindness and a loss of faith (as well as meaning, purpose and hope). You’re going to embrace evolutionary-atheism which proclaims that all of nature is unintelligent processes acting on matter – and everything is nature. This is nihilism – the embrace of nothingness.
I’m bold enough to say that the neo-atheist internet horde is mainly teens and 20s who are rebelling and looking around to mock something. For reasons which are not their fault, they have zero cultural development, no family or community involvement and are steeped in technology and scientism (at best) academically. I won’t mention the impoverished theological and moral foundations (given our semi-apostate parishes in the U.S.).
So, I don’t blame your disorientation, and I amire your pursuit of the 1% chance that you hold out for God in your own mind and soul.
But I’ll suggest that the search for God is something that requires more tools than merely “rationalism” alone. The fact that you limit yourself to human reason is a pre-judging of the nature of the subject. Why put the emphasis on “reason” as if that alone is adequate to understand the Creator of the universe (or even the universe itself)?
Where is your evidence and proof that human reason *alone *is an adequate tool, or even the right tool to use?
There is one of the many contradictions you will find as you pursue this topic (and I hope you will).