How much authority does Traditional husband have?

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She wrote: We generally get along really well and only fight once a month or less, but when we do, he pulls the “I’m the head of this household and you will do what I say” card. He doesn’t have a good role marriage to pull from (mom and stepdad are divorced), and he admitted he’s been trying to figure it out on his own. He told me to go to my room yesterday and that he has authority over me.

She felt he was putting her in her place and showing his dominance. Whatever he meant by what he said, that is how she felt, and she has every reason to believe that this is precisely how he meant for her to feel when he said it because he explicitly said he was giving her that direction because he meant to wield his authority.

That is not the kind of message to give to one’s wife. Our Lord said: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matt 20:25-28) So when St. Paul said that the relationship between a husband and a wife is a sign of Christ and His Bride the Church, that is not going to involve any kind of subjugation of one by the other; to start out the famous 5th chapter of Ephesians, St. Paul said: Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21) and then in the next verse said Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. (Eph 5:22) How is this possible? It is possible because the leadership of Christ was not what the World thinks leadership is.

Yes, though: As you imply, we only know what “cards” he plays, not which ones she plays. People do resort to some pretty ludicrous arguments and manipulative ploys during marital spats; that is not atypical. Sometimes the difficult conversations are put off by a bit too long only to erupt when both spouses are too tired and irrational to do the topic justice.
 
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RadWife said:
My husband was raised evangelical and converted shortly before our marriage.
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This more than anything indicates that he may have been poorly catechized, and his evangelical background is influencing his thinking. I’ve been in and out of those churches, and far too many are obsessed with that whole “wifely submission” gambit.
Marriage counseling through Catholic Charities, (or a referral to a Catholic counselor) may be in order.
twf said:
My wife gives lip service to my headship.
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So I suppose it’s an inappropriate time to dig up this classic movie quote? 😉

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MagdalenaRita said:
Probably should say husband without the words traddy or traditional.
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Yes. Even though he’s interested in the Latin Mass and the women at the TLM wear veils, that is not likely to be the issue here. If it is, he’s getting the wrong idea.
 
RadWife said:
He told me to go to my room yesterday and that he has authority over me
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Your husband sounds like a Pharisee. I’m not trying to jump to conclusions, but there are quite a few men in the traditional Catholic movement that are just plain bitter towards women, and your husband could be getting some horrible marriage advice from them. I don’t know where else he’d be getting such a warped view of husband-wife relations from.

Don’t get me wrong: I loathe what passes for “marriage” in most Protestant/secular marriages today (emasculated husband submits to dominant wife who makes all the important decisions), however what’s happening in your marriage is just as disturbing. You shouldn’t be sent to your room like a child whenever a conflict arises. As others have said, I’d definitely ask the Latin Mass priest for advice on this matter.
 
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Anyway, OP, what says you? Are our posts what you are looking for or would you like to give some more details on the situation?
 
PetraG said:
Yes, though: As you imply, we only know what “cards” he plays, not which ones she plays. People do resort to some pretty ludicrous arguments and manipulative ploys during marital spats;
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Yes this is true and we don’t even know what deck of cards they use.
redbetta said:
OP, what says you? Are our posts what you are looking for or would you like to give some more details on the situation?
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I do think this would be good.
 
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Am I the only one who suspects that all men could be diagnosed with some kind of mental illness? I think any man is a narcissist to some degree. It’s part and parcel of the male ego, I think.
I bring this up because I suspect that there is no way that Mr Head of the Household is going to run-of-the-mill marriage counseling. You might want to look at a book called “first kill all the marriage counselors”. It might help in some way.
 
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Any random human being can walk into a psychologist’s office and leave with some sort of mental diagnosis. It’s not really an exact science.
 
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RadWife said:
My husband was raised evangelical and converted shortly before our marriage.
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RadWife said:
he has become increasingly convicted
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uh-hunh, among many Protestant groups, “convicted” means “convinced of private revelation”

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Folks, for some reason, I think we’ve been trolled by a join-troll-run:

1 post, immediately upon joining, 18 minutes read . . .
 
dochawk said:
Folks, for some reason, I think we’ve been trolled by a join-troll-run:

1 post, immediately upon joining, 18 minutes read . . .
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I think so too. I have been avoiding saying that for fear of being called uncharitable, but, it hits upon too many stereotypes of traditional Catholic men and even takes a dig at Evangelicals.
 
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