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Debora123
Guest
How/where did she contradict herself??
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exoflare
Guest
She didn’t directly contradict herself, but it’s weird that she sings the praises of a marriage that makes her so miserable.
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Debora123
Guest
Lol she made a comment about how her husband prefers the curvier look. I’m not sure how that translates to singing praises of her marriage.
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exoflare
Guest
“If she discovers how beautiful hispanic men make her feel, she will never go back.”
Sounds like it to me, but fine.
Sounds like it to me, but fine.
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kelvinf
Guest
Thanks for pointing that out. On this thread, she is basically painting a positive picture of hispanic men, while on the other thread (I just read part), she basically portrayed them negatively.
So it was unnecessary to have brought up the race thing in the first place.
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Debora123
Guest
What in the WORLD?
All she is saying is that Hispanic men (her husband included) prefer bigger/curvier women. How does that translate into her painting a positive picture of them?
If I say my husband prefers slim/fit women, does that mean I’m painting a negative picture of my husband?
What in the world does body type preference have to do with a man being a good man or a bad man?
You guys are trippin!
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WingsOfEagles
Guest
In the other thread that this poster started, she stated that she and her husband were having a rough marriage because of cultural differences. She said that Hispanic men do not respect their women as equals.What in the WORLD?
All she is saying is that Hispanic men (her husband included) prefer bigger/curvier women. How does that translate into her painting a positive picture of them?
If I say my husband prefers slim/fit women, does that mean I’m painting a negative picture of my husband?
What in the world does body type preference have to do with a man being a good man or a bad man?
You guys are trippin!
In this thread, she seems to be encouraging curvy women to find a Hispanic man because they love curves.
Why would she give this advice if the cultural differences that she is experiencing are making her so miserable?
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EasterJoy
Guest
She never said her husband had nothing lovable about him or that there was nothing about him that made her feel grateful. She has only said he is extremely difficult in some respects, and that he tries to use culture to excuse these things. Finding women more attractive when they are a little more plump rather than less has nothing to do with other cultural differences she has talked about. The two things have no necessary connection.
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WingsOfEagles
Guest
They do have a connection because of the way in which the poster presented her opinions.
"Not trying to be racist here, but most “white men” I have known tend to like grotesquely thin women who would be technically underweight. My husband (not white) likes me to be how I am now, which is very curvy.
Anyway, if you do break up with her, can you give her some advice for me: try hispanic men or african american men because they (usually)like curvy women. If she discovers how beautiful hispanic men make her feel, she will never go back."
This statement to try a Hispanic man next time makes little sense when in the other thread she is complaining that Hispanic men treat their wives as slaves. When it was argued that it could be just a personality quirk of her husband, she stated that she doubted it because she had a friend in a similar situation. Her position on that thread makes little sense with her statement on this one about how wonderful a Hispanic man will make a woman feel.
If she had simply said, not all men care if a woman has some curves; my husband doesn’t mind, her opinions wouldn’t necessarily contradict one another.
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JohnMPhilomena
Guest
I’m not sure how to put this. My 50+ year old wife has put on some weight over the years. But when we are together, I swear she could be the most attractive woman on the planet.
I hope this makes sense.
According to the Greeks, there are 3 types of love:
Eros - passionate, sexual love.
Philios - friendship or affectionate love
Agape - unconditional, true love
It is good to have all three in a marriage, but the most important one is Agape (pronounced Ah-GOP-ay). It is the love that endures all things. This is the kind of love God has for us, and parents naturally have for their children.
It sounds like you and your girlfriend have the Philios love, which is important, but you need to discern whether or not the Agape love is there. If it is, I think the Eros love will do just fine.
Peace,
John
I hope this makes sense.
According to the Greeks, there are 3 types of love:
Eros - passionate, sexual love.
Philios - friendship or affectionate love
Agape - unconditional, true love
It is good to have all three in a marriage, but the most important one is Agape (pronounced Ah-GOP-ay). It is the love that endures all things. This is the kind of love God has for us, and parents naturally have for their children.
It sounds like you and your girlfriend have the Philios love, which is important, but you need to discern whether or not the Agape love is there. If it is, I think the Eros love will do just fine.
Peace,
John
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exoflare
Guest
I’ve created a monster!! :crying:
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EasterJoy
Guest
I’m not saying they’re not connected in her mind. I’m saying that the two things are quite different things if you look at a broader context.
As for her, our loves and frustrations do not always make sense. Emotions are like that, especially when we are right in the middle of them. When you are emotional, it is not hard to nearly demonize your spouse one minute and then practically idolize him the next, to want to have his head off one minute, and to be willing to die defending him the next.
This is why the police hate responding to domestic disputes. When people are fighting and in love at the same time, they’re totally unpredictable.
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Maria1212
Guest
I agree with this one hundred percent!!! My natural body weight is very thin.I am very athletic and I am not well endowed because when I am at my natural body weight I have very little fat, but am very toned, and still have curves. Men from a variety of ethnic backgrounds have given me compliments in a very respectful way. I am not saying one body type is better than another, but beauty can be found in all of them, and thin healthy women are just as sexy as other body types.
I agree in that it is just as insulting to make rude comments about think women’s body types as it is about overweight people. Some women are thin, whether it is natural, or through healthy eating and lots of exercise and that body type is just as beautiful as others. Some women have a thin body time that they have through a very healthy lifestyle and there is nothing wrong with that. Being toned and fit does not make us less womanly or attractive or unhealthy eaters.
Sincerely,
Maria1212
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Debora123
Guest
Absolutely. I am so tired of seeing threads about overweight problems turn into threads bashing thin women (not saying this is the case in this thread). To me, it is extremely hypocritical.
And I can’t stand the double standard of it being ok for people to make negative remarks about thin bodies, but the worst thing in the world to make negative remarks about overweight bodies. They are both equally rude and uncalled for.
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Maria1212
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EasternWestern
Guest
You say you decided to ignore your feelings. How do you feel about your decision in retrospect?
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benjammin
Guest
In regards to the Op, why is this such an issue. I will say that I have little experience really in dating. I’ve liked plenty of girls, and while I always felt that I wanted really attractive girls, the girls I was really into and even dated were not always what i’d call the best looking…
But, the important thing was that I thought they were attractive for many other reasons, and also I guess if you really like them, you won’t care.
I think women get this better than men. I feel that for women its more about the personality and how the guy treats them than how he looks. Sure there are your shallow girls, but usually they are high maintenance and aren’t really the type of girls a good christian man should date. Anyway, i will agree with other posters and say that if her weight is such a problem and you can’t get past it, just break up with her, but find a girl who meets your needs, not just an attractive body. If she has all that and an attractive body, then I guess you win, but maybe this will teach you how to be a little more respectful of women
But, the important thing was that I thought they were attractive for many other reasons, and also I guess if you really like them, you won’t care.
I think women get this better than men. I feel that for women its more about the personality and how the guy treats them than how he looks. Sure there are your shallow girls, but usually they are high maintenance and aren’t really the type of girls a good christian man should date. Anyway, i will agree with other posters and say that if her weight is such a problem and you can’t get past it, just break up with her, but find a girl who meets your needs, not just an attractive body. If she has all that and an attractive body, then I guess you win, but maybe this will teach you how to be a little more respectful of women
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Debora123
Guest
I think that’s a common misconception.
I would never and could never marry someone I was not attracted to. Of course, he had to be a great person as well, but that doesn’t mean that looks didn’t matter to me. I definitely had very specific boundaries, such as never wanting to date someone who is overweight or who is shorter than myself or a red head (just a couple examples). Not that there’s anything wrong with those things, it’s just not what I’m personally attracted to. I know for a fact that most women do have a sort of deal breaker type list regarding physical appearance of their partner, so it wasn’t only me.
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12345678
Guest
I do believe physical attraction should matter, but I wanted to bring something else up, not sure if anyone else has brought it up already… Kissing doesn’t really mean you are attracted to a person. Some types of kisses (passionate ones) should actually only be reserved for married couples because they are pleasurable and are made to be this way within marriage. Regardless of what type of kisses you guys exchange, I would avoid it, since it is misleading her.
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kelvinf
Guest
You are the first person to bring it up and you are very right. I remember the dude here who was dating 2 chicks at the same time. He kissed or was kissing one of them. When he finally came clean to both of them, seems like they dumped him.
So it’s not something one should be doing with someone he or she is not at all sure to be with, cos it could be misleading as you said.
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