How to FORCE our children to say rosary daily?

[VanitasVanitatum]

They could easily get distracted and that’s an easy trap to fall into. Vocal prayers and repetition make the Rosary super susceptible to it. It even happens to me and I do want to meditate, so I find it hard to believe that these children would be able to do so without some miraculous grace.

 

[JulianN]

Yes. Which is unusual.

 

[heidi_storage]

An atheist actor “saying prayers” as part of a script isn’t allowing God to work in him.

 

[fhansen]

Forcing such things will not work. You’ve laid the groundwork, you’ve done the best you can in their youth, but from here on it will be a matter of your prayer and modeling and patience and then their own journey, which you can’t take for them. One of my children tends to be more independent and wayward not to mention foolish than the other. I told my wife that she needs 10 more years of incubation time. She’s 22 now. Either way she received a lot of good stuff early on.

 

[PetraG]

Thanks for the reply, PG.

Tone can be hard to read on the internet - - I am ‘hearing’ your comment as in opposition to mine, when in reality, I agree with everything you state here, and upthread a bit, I too suggested some alternatives to the Rosary if the Rosary is too much to implement under current conditions for that family. Great minds thinking alike, and all that.

Sorry about that! I do that alot–someone says something that I feel strongly about in agreement, and I gallop ahead without first acknowleging that I mean to add to and not disagree with the comment I’m responding to!
The daily regimen is excellent, and the kind of “scaffolding” that many of us need even in adulthood.

 

[Peeps]

I compose this prayer of consecration inserted before every decade:

panorama, I hope you are praying this long and wordy prayer silently, not in front of your teens. It’s too much. Sir, it is like something that a family might have prayed 60 or 70 years ago. If you want to use this kind of ancient-sounding language in your private prayers, that’s fine. But please don’t expect your children to pay any attention.

Your kids sound like everyone’s kids. What they’re doing with the internet and phone sounds normal. You are seeing only what you consider to be “bad”. You and your teens are almost totally disconnected, because what you seem to consider “bad” is NORMAL LIFE in the year 2019 for a large number of people of all ages in the United States.

Ease off. Live a life of simple and quiet GOODNESS. Be a living EXAMPLE to your children of LOVE–practical love that is demonstrated by your good works for your wife, first of all, and then for your children. Be humble. Be kind and gentle.

God puts fathers in homes to be an “image” of Jesus to their children. I don’t think you seem like a very good image at the moment. You sound angry and authoritative and you don’t seem to be able to see any good in your kids.

Say your prayers in secret, other than the simple and sweet grace over your meals.

You do realize, don’t you, that the Lord can answer your prayers for your children even if they don’t even know you are praying for them? I get the feeling from your posts that you don’t have faith in God to work in your children’s lives! Of course He can! Stop trying to do work that only He can do–change hearts and souls!

All this talk of FORCING your children to do stuff is not going to work, and you will end up losing them and also any grandchildren, because when they are old enough, they will leave you and not come back. Don’t do this. If nothing else, think of your wife and remember that she will mourn the loss of her children from your lives. Be a gentle man.

 

[panorama]

You’re just handing them weapons to mock you.

So true, my eldest son (16 years old) is a master of disrespecting (sometimes mocking) his parents and I suspect there might be a legion of demons who teach him to continuously violate the 4th commandment. My second child (12 years old daughter) is so much more respectful & obedient towards her parents.

Pray for them (but DONT tell them), show that you’re calm, relaxed and pleasant faced in spite of their antics and they will back off (most likely after a period of testing, anyway).

This is very interesting. What is the logic behind not telling them that I am praying for them? Maybe there is something psychological about this method ?

 

[panorama]

Guessing our original poster has left the building.

Sorry, I am busy with my work and my own prayer regimen to fight the demons in my family. I am trying to increase my time spent for God to about 2-3 hours daily (Meditation in Adoration, morning & evening Rosaries at my church grotto, 3PM Divine mercy in Adoration, Lauds, Sexts, Vespers, & Compline in front of the tabernacle).

So far , the effect is, so good!
Thank you Lord Jesus! Thank you, Mother Mary!
I am counting on the Virgin Most Powerful to fight for the souls of my children.

I will reply more as time permits and share with you the progress of my battle to win the souls of my children.

 

[heidi_storage]

Devotions are wonderful, but maybe some of that time could be spent doing something fun with the kids, or working on something with them?

 

[TheLittleLady]

AMEN. This. Spending time doing fun things, playing football in the park, playing RISK in the den, is vital.

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

I suspect there might be a legion of demons who teach him to continuously violate the 4th commandment.

It’s likely just a habit formed by concupiscence.

 

[bookshelf]

I disagree your kids are too old, you’ve got an 8 and 12 year old that’s great. 15 will be more challenging, but you can’t just throw your hands in the air and give up. There are many years left to have a deep and rich prayer life. Good for you!

Children have impressionable minds. Although prone to rebellion, it doesn’t take long for them to figure out the differences between Catholic morality, and a rebellious morality. If they don’t learnt it at home, they will be forced to learn it when they go out in the world.

The OP must be steadfast during these difficult times, and we must for him to remain steadfast. Nothing is more inspirational that watching the Father of the family lead, and the Mother nurture, especially during crises.

They used to say some rosaries as a family here and there when younger but then it’s not regular. They haven’t said rosary for years and now suddenly I require them to say one rosary daily in order to get daily internet.

It is never too late to start praying. Habitual praying of the Angelus morning, afternoon, evening; prayers before and after meals, and thanking God for good things that occur during the day or during evening prayers are good starting places. The power of prayer is more powerful than the power of the internet.

 

[Peeps]

So true, my eldest son (16 years old) is a master of disrespecting (sometimes mocking) his parents and I suspect there

No, no NO!

You’re seeing demons that are not there. It’s not demons, it’s adolescence, and it’s NORMAL!

It is NORMAL for a 16-year old boy to continually butt heads with his father, and to a lesser extent, with his mother. Your son is growing into a man, and since he has never done that before, he is trying to figure out the best way to grow. Sometimes that means conflicts with his dad who is already a man. It’s NORMAL. It’s unpleasant for parents to have constant fights and conflicts with a son, but that’s what happens when a child grows up.

Do you remember what your son was like when he was 2 years old? The constant “NO!” and the stubborn refusal to do what his parents want him to do?

The reason that happened is that the baby boy was growing into a little boy, and it’s hard and confusing and scary and the baby feels like he has to constantly get into a fight because he’s TRYING to figure out how exactly to do this “growing” !

Your teen son is essentially a 2-year-old all over again, because the same thing is happening–he’s changing before your very eyes from a boy to a man, and it’s scary and confusing to him, and he’s not sure how exactly to go about it, so he lashes out at you and sometimes Mom (and sadly, in some cases, against authorities like the police–hopefully this is not the case in your family).

This isn’t liberal psycho-babble–it’s what parents have faced ever since parenting started happening .

I strongly STRONGLY suggest that you get the book “Bringing Up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson (and also his Book “Bringing Up Girls”). Yes, I know, Dr. Dobson isn’t a Catholic, but he IS a real doctor (a clinical psychologist) who is in his 80s and has worked with tens of thousands of families who are going through the same stuff you and your wife are going through. He’s so wise.

You might think this phase will never end and your son will be a criminal and atheist. No, that’ won’t happen if you and your wife love him through this hard time, and that means that you have stop attributing his NORMAL adolescent behavior to demons. Your son will be a joy to you when he is older. Have faith and listen to others who have been through it.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

my time spent for God to about 2-3 hours daily (Meditation in Adoration, morning & evening Rosaries at my church grotto, 3PM Divine mercy in Adoration, Lauds, Sexts, Vespers, & Compline in front of the tabernacle).

Do you do this when they are asleep or in school?

So true, my eldest son (16 years old) is a master of disrespecting (sometimes mocking) his parents and I suspect there might be a legion of demons who teach him to continuously violate the 4th commandment

Or maybe he’s pushing back against what he sees as hypocrisy, seeing you pray and then trying to control his time. Do you yell, get angry, punish him after all that prayer?

Are you praying more about your childrens’ faults while ignoring yours? If you aren’t, great but consider that it does not appear to be so and more like you are so busy talking at God and talking at your children and not listening, not hearing God or your children.

For all your prayer I get no sense of joy or peace but a toxic urgency and I can imagine how that feels to your kids in person.

And you can’t fake those either.

 

[Episcopalian]

Oh David, you’ve gotten some flack so I’m sorry if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all that!

I’d say you should just be a witness to them, invite them to pray a decade or two but don’t make them stay the whole time (if they don’t want) or threaten to punish them by removing internet capabilities.

 

[GiftofMercy]

So true, my eldest son (16 years old) is a master of disrespecting (sometimes mocking) his parents and I suspect there might be a legion of demons who teach him to continuously violate the 4th commandment. My second child (12 years old daughter) is so much more respectful & obedient towards her parents.

It is quite normal for teenagers to go through a rebellious stage. It is much better that they do this as teenagers rather then missing this stage and doing it as an adult later on. Be there to guide and love your son. He is exploring his growing into an adult.

I tell all my atheist or agnostic friends I am praying for their conversion. Sometimes they say don’t, sometimes they don’t say anything. I don’t push it, but if something comes up that is challenging in their life, I take the opportunity to say I am praying for you.

Panorama did you ever answer why you had that home altar table made, what was your purpose, do you regularly have Mass said at home?

Also what other normal dad activities do your kids see you doing? Are you in the work force, studying, volunteering, throwing a ball with them or some other physical activity, helping with their homework, cooking with them,

 

[rotlex]

The responses here seem to go from good to almost fanatical. The only thing you are going to do by “forcing” a daily rosary on your kids is push them even farther from religion and the Church.

There are no “demons” here, no evil forces at work, just normal kids\teenagers growing up and doing what they do. Heck, I didn’t fall into a daily Bible reading and Rosary practice until I was nearly 40 years old.

This is not meant to sound nasty, but have you tried actually talking to them? You know, not praying for them or with them, but sitting down as a parent and discussing it without bringing religion into it? Every day if needed?

My own kids, 11 and 17, can be pretty rough around the edges at times. My wife and I discuss the issues as parents should. Sure, we at times discuss it in a religious way, relating things to God and prayer, but we also try not to sound fanatical. That does nothing at all in my humble opinion.

My wife teaches CCD, and we are both fairly involved with our parish as well. We bring the kids to as many events and activities as they want to go too. We never force any of it. They need to come into it on their own with just a little help and guidance here and there.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

This example keeps coming back to my thoughts as a contrast.

A convert to Catholicism described how much she loved how different her husband was after he came back from confession. She had not yet converted but he had.

She also described how her mom, a pastors wife, chose not to sing in the choir but rather she chose to sing to her babies i.e, her mom prioritized her time with her children, even when she could have been praising God with song/modeling serving God. Contrast that with my friend’s husband whose parents were very involved with church activities but didn’t spend much time with their kids. Hazard a guess who is still a Christian and who is not?

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

What is the logic behind not telling them that I am praying for them? Maybe there is something psychological about this method ?

They’ll just think you’re trying to control them through supernatural means.
It’ll just make them dig their heels in even worse

 

[choose_to_love]

“what they’re doing with the internet and phone sounds normal” If you mean typical, perhaps that is true; is it good or virtuous? OP stated they are not upholding their responsibilities, presumably around the house or with respect to school (maybe OP could clarify). What virtues are being promoted by allowing unfettered access to social media? Is ‘normal life’ what we are called to?

That being said, I agree the specific tying of participation in the rosary as a quid pro quo for internet time sure seems like a bad idea; the family is in a different place. Still, dad needs to set standards and enforce boundaries if chores/school responsibilities are not being met, independent of participation in a particular formal prayer. For a father, that is living the life of goodness and practical love.