How to FORCE our children to say rosary daily?

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We also need to consider cultural differences. Trying to force ourselves into something we weren’t raised in is difficult enough, forcing a teenager is impossible. A brain raised on social media is addicted to stimulation and is very different than someone from years ago who never had any exposure to media of any kind. If the goal is to get children to connect with God then we need to find a way that is natural for them. And if we want to train their brains to be comfortable with boredom(an important thing) then it needs to be a process instead of just expecting they can do it all at once.

My kids do Christian meditation at school, they started with just a minute in kindergarten, and then work up to half hour later. I like the Jesus prayer because it’s short and I can pray it throughout the day when I remember.
 
In the midst of intractable situations that call for change…
  1. change YOU first, and God’s grace will begin to work. You repent, you have a change of heart, and the family may follow. You cannot force others to love. Force is anathema to love.
Your post is full of anxiety and attempt to control people. I am not a psychologist, but my suggestion in the face of this attempt to force people is for YOU to get off the merry go round. You get counseling, and your family may then reap the benefits. (and just shut the internet off without all the other conditions. Just shut if off. Be a dad. )
 
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panorama said:
I will move my big altar table made of brown oak from the living room to their study room. This super heavy altar table has everything needed for saying the mass because I ordered it to be built for the sole purpose of the priest saying the mass inside my house.
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This is … unusual. Why do you have an altar table in your house?
 
As a father it is your ‘responsibility’ to bring your family together, perhaps after dinner, and do the Rosary together. There will be no TV, smart phone, computers, or devices other than the greatest weapon ever to be given to man…the Rosary.
 
Nelka said:
Generally children will do anything to stay up slightly later, even watching the news on tv.
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It’s biology. We can try to force kids to get to bed early and get up early, but medical science will tell you that it’s a fool’s errand. Circadian rhythms change during adolescence. It’s hormonal. The kids will change back toward what we adults consider “responsible” sleep habits when they themselves become adults.
 
I do not believe in trying to force people to do anything.
I believe that trying to make them understand the reason for reciting and praying the Rosary is the way to go.
Positive reinforcement is more likely to gain positive results.
 
paperwight said:
disagree. Where does the Church lay down this rule for children?
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Praying the Rosary is a part of the Roman Catholic Faith faith taught by lots of Doctors and Saints. This helps to fauster love for one another. A daily rosary is a must for the older children, the younger ones do it in a class at our school St Charles all together once a day.
 
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What in swiftdove’s response makes you think swiftdove’s suggestion is anything other than swiftdove’s opinion? Basically this whole thread is asking for people’s opinions on how best to proceed, within the understanding that it is the parents’ responsibility to live and teach the Faith to their children; the Church I think wisely trusts the parents to figure out how to do that in each particular family.
 
choose_to_love said:
What in swiftdove’s response makes you think swiftdove’s suggestion is anything other than swiftdove’s opinion? Basically this whole thread is asking for people’s opinions on how best to proceed, within the understanding that it is the parents’ responsibility to live and teach the Faith to their children; the Church I think wisely trusts the parents to figure out how to do that in each particular family.
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The things you would like to have in place when you are starting a family are also different than the path you are going to choose when you are in the middle of a delicate family situation later on down the line. It is impossible to say whether these parents could have done anything differently to avoid the situation they are in now, because people have all the different temperaments as children and young people that they come to have as adults.

They are now in a power struggle with their two oldest children. I would keep most of that off of the field of faith. Going to Mass on Sundays is truly an obligation and cannot be dispensed with. Prayer before meals is a family practice that should not be dispensed with. At very least, those who aren’t praying stop and show respect to those who are. If praying the family rosary isn’t working, though, then as valuable as we know that can be, possibly the older ones could be allowed to choose something else. I would offer them the choice of coming up with an alternative activity that I would accept. Being on the internet won’t be it. I would probably allow them to mediatate or keep a private journal or a number of other reflective activities. They are marching on to adulthood, whether you like it or not, and there does get to be a point where you give them some room to be self-determined. Making a gesture that says, “I have my concern, you have yours, let’s see if we can come to a mutually-agreeable compromise” can sometimes put a teen back in the position of being a willing disciple. Total capitulation is not the way to gain respect with children trying to figure out the ways of adulthood, but finding common ground that seeks to recognize that your children are not you and don’t think exactly the way you do can be one.
 
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For the oldest son to help kindle the spirit we had him read The Secret of the Rosary by St Louis De Montford. Our son is 14 and not long ago each of us as a family put together a daily regimen with daily prayers and his chore list. Each item on the list is done at a specific time every day. This helps him to be more stable by having constancy in his life. Maybe this would help a child of yours also.
 
Swiftdove said:
For the oldest son to help kindle the spirit we had him read The Secret of the Rosary by St Louis De Montford. Our son is 14 and not long ago each of us as a family put together a daily regimen with daily prayers and his chore list. Each item on the list is done at a specific time every day. This helps him to be more stable by having constancy in his life. Maybe this would help a child of yours also.
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Sitting down with a child and saying, "Getting these chores done is not negotiable. You can either accomplish it by this method (such as your excellent proposal) or you can propose one of your own. The condition of trying yours, however, is that it consistently gets your chores accomplished without any parental nagging. We don’t have time or energy to nag you and neither you or we want that dynamic going on. When you have a home of your own, nobody will be there to nag you. So–this is the drill, until you come up with something you like better that achieves the same end. (And no, paying your younger brother to do your chores does not count, lol!!)
 
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Thanks for the reply, PG.

Tone can be hard to read on the internet - - I am ‘hearing’ your comment as in opposition to mine, when in reality, I agree with everything you state here, and upthread a bit, I too suggested some alternatives to the Rosary if the Rosary is too much to implement under current conditions for that family. Great minds thinking alike, and all that.
 
Irishmom2 said:
OP, any time you have used the word force in your posts, I cringe. I can only imagine how your children feel. I want you to consider this: all of your forcing is all for you. It is not benefiting your children because it is not sincere. It is not coming from their hearts.

No one else has mentioned this, but you had an altar built so you can have a priest say mass in your home? How often does that happen? And why? Why the need to inundate your children with their faith so vehemently?

You keep hitting them over the head with it, and when they are old enough, they will run and never look back. We are to lead by example, not by bribery and coercion. By all means, say the rosary with your wife all you wish, but you should allow your children to join you, not make it a requirement. Let them see for themself the joy that it brings you, and let them choose if they want to join you in their own timing. “Let the children come to me” not force the children to come to me.
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I cannot agree more!
 
Unwilling prayer is just an illusion, it isn’t actually prayer at all.
 
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In the part you quoted he said it was because he wanted a priest to say mass at his house.
 
Priests say Mass in homes on the kitchen table, a sideboard in the living room, one does not need a bespoke big wooden altar!
 
Thank you all for the kind replies and good thread. Before puberty would be an ideal time to help them balance their life with with play and have a daily rosary and prayer regimen for them to follow. I think it is a great point not to force children to pray once they are past puberty. Being the ultimate goal is to have them fully self sufficient by the age of 18.
 
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They’re thinking about God, even if not in a super positive way. I don’t think it’s the best plan but I think it’s ok.
 
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