How to welcome people in irregular unions to the Church

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Some of these people don’t believe that God loves them because the people who are suppose to reflect Gods love are not doing it properly. I’m not talking about conforming to their ways or changing doctrine. Obedience to Jesus comes from faith. Faith goes together with love. A person who is wounded and who is unloved, might not have the required faith to do what you are saying.
 
I think we are forgetting that its Gods grace that even spurs repentance in us. It is us responding to God. How can God/Jesus forgive something that somebody doesn’t repent of? I don’t know where you are going with it.
 
That did not stop Jesus from saying go and sin no more not very long after confronting the sinner. A key mission given to the Catholic Church by Christ is the salvation of souls. The identification and condemnation of sin is essential in carrying out that mission.
 
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ChunkMonk said:
What you suggest is uncommon. I suppose we should all be thieves and murderers since the Good Theif was guaranteed heaven. That is foolish.
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I’m certainly glad you’re not a member of the clergy.
God help you.
I’m out of this discussion.
 
In other words, “Islands in the Stream” & “How Deep Is Your Love”
 
I don’t disagree with anything you just said. I’m just saying that Christ’s love for all men came before his command to sin no more. His love for man was evident when he became man to save man. Again, i do not disagree that A key mission of the Church is the salvation of souls and that condemnation of sin is also essential.

Love is the spark. Love is what caused God to create man, not faith. Love comes before everything. The story of God/Jesus is a love story of God for us. Love is more important than faith according to St Paul. He says the greatest virtue is Love. This doesn’t mean that faith can be ignored or manipulated or thrown away.
 
Been reading this thread, and thinking about examples of family and friends.
One observation is that several lukewarm or casual Catholics would be back but for one bone of contention. Right or wrong, they see being active Catholic as a complete package deal, with some clause they can’t (currently) commit to.
 
And you seem to not understand that warning against sin is pastoral and done out of love. Jesus himself said if you love me you will obey my commandments.
 
SnowRose said:
One observation is that several lukewarm or casual Catholics would be back but for one bone of contention. Right or wrong, they see being active Catholic as a complete package deal, with some clause they can’t (currently) commit to.
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And that’s what worries me. You don’t have to be the packaged deal, unless we stop making people feel like they have to be perfect to come to Mass people won’t.

It isn’t all or nothing, because, again, we are all sinners.
 
I never said warning against sin isn’t pastoral. Correct me if I’m wrong please. I’m saying that speaking the truth requires charity. The truth, not spoken in charity, is violence. So even if its truthful, if you do it in a way that lacks charity, can be violent. Charity and truth go hand and hand. If you offer charity and no truth… its just empty sentimentality. The original topic was “How are we to be the hands and feet of Christ” to people who sometimes feel farthest away from the church. How do we get people back who have been wounded, etc
 
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That’s up to Jesus. It doesn’t have to be up to us.

Here’s my proposition: greet all people warmly and with unconditional positive regard. Make Church an open place where even the worst of the worst will feel comfortable, and maybe be exposed to a sunnier way of thinking about life. Give everyone the best possible chance of experiencing the warmth of open arms and hearts.

And then, when they die, let God sort them out.
 
Any action that will drive people away from the Church in shame or disgust cannot be called “pastoral and done out of love.” It’s hypocrisy masquerading as good work.

Step 1) Draw people in to the Churhc
Step 2) Set a good example for them
Step 3) When they are ready to make changes, counsel them.
Step 4) important trust in the Lord to go into people’s hearts at the right time, and don’t try to force Him into their hearts with a crowbar.
 
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A little amusing when we hear from some that we need to be Christ like except the part where Jesus warns against sin, satan and hell.
 
What he said does not lack wisdom. Setting a good example or being Christ like, is the way people encounter Christ. They Encounter Christ in us. They will not be ready to change until they’re ready. No matter how much we tell them to change, until they are ready, how can they? Especially if we do not reflect Christ effectively. I don’t think anybody has said to let them keep sinning until they are ready to obey. He said when they are ready to make changes, counsel them. I don’t see an issue with that. Augustine prayed “Lord make me chaste, but not yet” and hes a Saint. He wasn’t ready to give up a sin but God did not abandon him.

Is it better for people in certain sins to stay away from Church so that we can have no positive influence on them or is it better for people in sins to come Church and meet Christ?
 
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Unfortunately, you may not be able to. However, let’s break it down, since there are different types of “irregular unions”.

Is it a civil wedding? Many immigrants may come from nations that, due to a history of anti-clericalism, require civil ceremonies. So, if the couple does not have other impediments, then it would be a simple matter of convalidation. BOOM! DONE!

If it is a matter of cohabitation, and they have no other impediments, pastors can “highly encourage” them to marry. BOOM! DONE!

If it is a case of divorce/remarriage, “highly encourage” the divorced party/parties to apply for an annulment.

However, at some point, either while waiting for the regularization, or if it cannot be regularized, someone will have to break the news that either they will have to live like brother/sister or break up or refrain from Eucharist. In the case of divorced people, one can simply state that this comes from Jesus Himself, and they can’t escape by running off to a “Bible church” because that is in their bibles, too. This is also true of a same-sex situation.

How to reach out to them? Well, they may reach out to the Church if they want sacraments for their children; that could serve as an evangelization moment where they can be “encouraged” to regularize their situation (the priest could do so be simply but gently explaining that he is concerned about the home life of the child being a danger to the faith).
 
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I don’t find wisdom in that at all. That is shirking our duty. Christ gave us the spiritual works of mercy for a reason. We are instruments in salvation. And you are putting forth your version of reflecting Christ. Again Jesus warned much against sin satan and hell but you don’t seem to want to relect that Jesus. The Church would not be doing her job if it let someone die in their sin. The first thing that should be put forth is the need to partake in the Sacrament of Confession. We would be sinning by letting someone approach the Eucharist if we knew they were in an unworthy state.
 
TC3033 said:
Ya…you’re right. While we’re sitting in church (I the non-Catholic husband, Catholic wife and 3 boys) and the priest says “make sure your daughter finds a good Catholic boy, he will treat her right and respect her…don’t let her date the “others”, they will only see her as a pawn to serve his needs and wants.” Ya, you’re right. I have no idea why I don’t feel welcome at the parish my wife and kids are members at.
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Just have to remark…when I was a teenager all of the dating couples who got knocked up were the good catholic boys and girls. Just sayin. I think the priests advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Might have been better if he talked about instilling good values in your kids, and encouraging them to date people who did likewise. So unfortunate.
 
Trojan horse is always available but unforunately it’s Kryptonite.
 
Please show me where somebody stated that anybody said anything regarding approaching the Eucharist in sin unworthily. Nobody has said that we are not to mention sin, satan or hell either. Maybe I’m missing some posts? I never once said not to mention sin satan or hell. And nobody said that Church should not instruct people on sin or the effects of sin and the consequences of sin. I’m not sure what you are replying to.
 
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