Husband won't let me convert...

[defenderoftruth]

Hey all I thought I would give an “update”. I’ve had a real Yo-Yo about converting…every time I try my husband blows up I cow down and give in to his demands/reasoning.

I told him flat out this isn’t going to end the “roman herpes” (what he calls it) until I convert. This pulling/drawing won’t stop and won’t go away. I made the big step today telling the priest at our Anglican Church that I’m going to “swim the Tiber”. I explained to him that I would still attend with my husband, our future children would be baptized Anglican (as babies) and that I like him and enjoy their services…however I won’t be taking communion once I convert. He was very understanding and said that I must go where my heart has called me to be.

I have the head of the local parish religious education classes coming over on Friday. It’s all out in the open, he’s still hostile about it (my husband) but he is maintaining so far without any real HUGE blowups. I told him no matter what I have to convert. The Anglican priest told me that when it comes to hearing scripture and it hurts to hear (he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me) then you need to follow your heart and convictions and convert. He’s a nice man.

I’m looking forward to RCIA. My husband has assured me that he’s not going to divorce me or seperate from me but he’s upset I’m following “the anti-christ and whore of babylon”…hopefully he’ll come to terms and be ok at some point.

DoT

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Hey all I thought I would give an “update”. I’ve had a real Yo-Yo about converting…every time I try my husband blows up I cow down and give in to his demands/reasoning.

I told him flat out this isn’t going to end the “roman herpes” (what he calls it) until I convert. This pulling/drawing won’t stop and won’t go away. I made the big step today telling the priest at our Anglican Church that I’m going to “swim the Tiber”. I explained to him that I would still attend with my husband, our future children would be baptized Anglican (as babies) and that I like him and enjoy their services…however I won’t be taking communion once I convert. He was very understanding and said that I must go where my heart has called me to be.

I have the head of the local parish religious education classes coming over on Friday. It’s all out in the open, he’s still hostile about it (my husband) but he is maintaining so far without any real HUGE blowups. I told him no matter what I have to convert. The Anglican priest told me that when it comes to hearing scripture and it hurts to hear (he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me) then you need to follow your heart and convictions and convert. He’s a nice man.

I’m looking forward to RCIA. My husband has assured me that he’s not going to divorce me or seperate from me but he’s upset I’m following “the anti-christ and whore of babylon”…hopefully he’ll come to terms and be ok at some point.

DoT

“Roman herpes???”

Oh my gosh. That’s bad. My husband isn’t fond of the Church but a name like that…

I am SO GLAD to hear that you are coming home at last!!! Yay!! Will be praying for you.

 

[ryecroft]

joandarc2008,

I hear what you are saying but guess what he’s going to kick me out and keep the kids, I will be Catholic and they’ll still be Anglican with him and they’ll believe I left them for a church which won’t convert him or them…no thanks.

Arlene,
I agree it is childish and bullying behavior but I married him, we have two (three) kids and when I’m not talking about converting we get along perfectly fine no arguments! This is the one and only subject he freaks out about.

Oh my, dear! I feel so badly for you! If there is a chance of you leaving him, or vice versa whatever - then please start taping some of these out bursts. Find people that will side with you about seeing/hearing the arguments. Catholic or Episcopalian, you don’t want this person raising your 6 year old and baby on the way! What about talking to the other Priest - the one that left? If anything he would side with you and help you. You ARE in an abusive situation - he isn’t hitting you upside the head but I can tell from what you write that your self esteem has taken a nose dive - he’s making you feel worthless because you disagree with what he believes. Wow - he’s got some major problems that go way beyond Church - it’s like he’s throwing a tantrum - no he IS throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t get his way and he knows it bothers you enough and probably scares you enough that you’ll likely say anything to get him to shut up. Start getting things together. He may believe he’s “head” of the household - but the “head” is supposed to be a man and supposed to love his wife the way Christ loves His Church. That AINT happening.
Do you believe everything would be hunky dorey with him if you never brought this up again and you did all he asked? I seriously doubt that and he doesn’t want to get any help. You’ve got to help yourself for your kids sake. He needs some serious help - please begin planning to get away - even if everything works out you have a contingent plan in case it doesn’t. You don’t need to be stressed like this -especially not while pregnant. I know many of us will be praying for you!
God Bless and Good Luck!
Rye

 

[defenderoftruth]

Oh my, dear! I feel so badly for you! If there is a chance of you leaving him, or vice versa whatever - then please start taping some of these out bursts. Find people that will side with you about seeing/hearing the arguments. Catholic or Episcopalian, you don’t want this person raising your 6 year old and baby on the way! What about talking to the other Priest - the one that left? If anything he would side with you and help you. You ARE in an abusive situation - he isn’t hitting you upside the head but I can tell from what you write that your self esteem has taken a nose dive - he’s making you feel worthless because you disagree with what he believes. Wow - he’s got some major problems that go way beyond Church - it’s like he’s throwing a tantrum - no he IS throwing a tantrum because he doesn’t get his way and he knows it bothers you enough and probably scares you enough that you’ll likely say anything to get him to shut up. Start getting things together. He may believe he’s “head” of the household - but the “head” is supposed to be a man and supposed to love his wife the way Christ loves His Church. That AINT happening.
Do you believe everything would be hunky dorey with him if you never brought this up again and you did all he asked? I seriously doubt that and he doesn’t want to get any help. You’ve got to help yourself for your kids sake. He needs some serious help - please begin planning to get away - even if everything works out you have a contingent plan in case it doesn’t. You don’t need to be stressed like this -especially not while pregnant. I know many of us will be praying for you!
God Bless and Good Luck!
Rye

I started this thread almost 2 years ago…I have a do or die feeling now about conversion. If I don’t now I never will and I’ll never be able to live with myself knowing I picked my husband out of cowardice of how he might react. God is more important. He has said to me in the last week either I don’t convert and drop it or I forsake him and the children. I told him as a Catholic I would have more in common with him that difference. (he at least sees eye to eye on Catholic moral teachings) I’m not “forsaking” anything but my membership in the Anglican Communion. I have no plans on leaving my husband, divorce/seperation whatsoever. He’s a good provider, a loving father, and husband and very passionate about is beliefs. His outbursts are from I believe a genuine concern. He is one of those people that Bishop Fulton J. Sheen talked about “hating what they THINK is the Catholic Church”… I will continue to pray for him, listen to his petty verbal sarcastic comments about the “whore” and hope for the best. St. Rita didn’t leave her husband and he was MUCH worse than mine.

Better or worse…I took the vows and I meant it…

DoT

 

[ryecroft]

I’m so glad you feel better about this -
God Bless

Rye

 

[floresco]

I have no plans on leaving my husband, divorce/seperation whatsoever. He’s a good provider, a loving father, and husband and very passionate about is beliefs.

I am glad that you already have a good understanding of marriage and are not confused by bad advice about it.