Equinox:
I am comfortable who I am, however I am not comfortable with the way people and God will view me if I chose to live a life of homosexual preference and/or behaviour.
That’s a great starting point.
Forget about the way people will view you…people have their own hangups anyway and they’ll treat you well or not for a myriad of reasons you have no control over whatsoever - whether or not you’re gay or straight.
But you most certainly should focus on how God will view you
if you choose to live a homosexual lifestyle.
So…start with what you know about God.
You are trying to convince yourself that intention will carry weight at the end…that since God made you the way you are, you had no choice but to live according to how He made you, and therefore you are trusting He will not judge you harshly for engaging in immoral behavior since you loved Him the entire time, went to mass, etc.
God made you just like the rest of us…we all enter into this world with an inclination toward sin…thanks to Adam and Eve…your inclination is different than mine, which is different from somebody else’s…
As Catholics we are called to resist those inclinations toward sin unique to us.
Sin is sin. Anger, greed, murder, adultery, dishonor, disrespect for life, swearing, stealing…all those things are the ways we separate ourselves from God’s love.
Giving into those temptations, those inclinations, moves us further from Him and closer to ourselves…alone.
The Church’s role is to help us get through this life with a clean soul. She offers us Truth. She offers us grace. She offers us absolution. She offers us strength through prayers, devotions and sacramentals. She offers us Jesus Christ Himself.
We have no excuses for not entering into the Kingdom upon our death when we have been offered all that the Church gave but refused - chose - to disregard the message and receive Her gifts. You can claim all you like that the Church pushed you away, rejected you, but you know deep in your heart this is not true.
IF you should choose to leave the Catholic Church it will be
your choice. It will be because you, personally, would rather embrace your inclination toward sin than accept Christ’s teachings, graces and mercy.
God knows you are challenged while on this earth, that’s why He came to walk among us, to give us the gift of the Church and the sacraments, to open the gates of Heaven through his death and resurrection.
How can you honestly expect Him to be pleased at the end when you approach Him with, “but you made me this way and I was only doing your will”? when you know He does not condone homosexual behavior. I don’t believe He’ll be angry, but I’m certain He’ll be saddened and disappointed. He may very well take mercy on your soul. No one, not even the Church, can say definitively whether or not He will. But personally, just knowing He won’t be happy with my choices, He’ll be saddened by them, is enough for me to do
everything I can to make good choices in everything I do. I’m not willing to gamble with my soul’s destination for eternity, why are you?
It doesn’t matter whether or not you understand
why He doesn’t approve, nor does it matter whether or not you agree with His position. What matters is that you obey with an open and loving heart.
May God bless you.
May He strengthen you against temptation.
May He guide you into His arms.
I pray you follow.
