I am very confused and scared now

[SeekerJen]

I agree on getting the contact info for Dad, as well as taking him over something for dinner, as I’m sure he’s freaked out and not thinking about food.

God bless you for taking care of them. I’ll keep all of you in my prayers. I really hope the mom is okay.

 

[yessisan]

I forgot to say that I’ll keep you in my prayers as well as that family!

 

[st_ignatius110]

I wonder if I am doing the right thing, should I be doing more to help the guy?

I will take any advice at this point

I would for sure let him know, take your husband along with you, that you will help out in anyway he needs. If the mom comes back then they will obviously need counseling…that is something to suggest a little later after things calm down I think. If mom does not come back then he will seriously need some help. For sure don’t place on the blame on him as no mom in her right mind would abandon her child which is what this lady essentially did. Thank God she brought the baby to you and did not throw her away or something horrible. I will pray for you all and this family. I will pray that God guides you.

 

[Lorik]

The mother of this baby sounds like she needs to get to a doctor. If not the ER. This woman must be having severe phycological problems. Perhaps she was afraid she was going to harm the baby.
The poor man! I hope he’s not too embarassed. Mental illness is an illness. She needs treatment not people coming down on her. She must be suffering a lot to leave her baby like that. Thank God you were there to care for her! Who knows what would have happened otherwise.
They’ll all be in my prayers.

 

[Damascus]

Thanks guys. I just took over a Lasanga to him, I bought it yesterday at the Italian deli a couple blocks away (they make their own sausage, and its in the lasanga!) and I heated up some cheesy texas toast (I love it better than garlic bread) and a bag of salad (ceasar kit) and I called our local pizza place for pizza tonight instead.

He was rocking her in a rocking chair and crying. She called him and says she needs time away from them both. She does not want to be a mother right now, and she is going to come back but she does not know when.

He thanked me for the food, I set it up for him on the table before I left.
The baby was sleeping. I did not want to hang around too long because my toddler was getting really scared and upset. I did not want the baby to wake up. He has all of my numbers now, and my spouses. I got his business card and he grabbed my hand tight and told me he was really happy I was around.

I am going to ask him tomorrow if he wants my Priest to talk to him. I left a message with my favorite Priest.

 

[leaner]

Maybe you could ask your DH to “stop by with dinner” you’ve made (spaghetti is fine, btw!). Then, while he’s there, offer another “man” to talk to – man to man, father to father, husband to husband, kwim? Likely he could surely use someone to bounce all of this off of. I’ll bet he feels terribly alone right now. When I hit rock bottom, my poor husband was out of his gourd with worry for me and the kids etc. He took me to a counsellor, and for that I can never thank him enough. I’ve been in counseling now for a few months, and on antidepressants for a few months too – it’s like a whole new world to me. I feel like I know what my problem is now, and can face it, instead of giving into the panic/fear of “having a problem” – it’s a vicious cycle, one that scared the pants off my husband, and I know he went it alone and would have been eternally grateful for another guy to blow off steam, talk with, bounce ideas, etc.

just a thought…

 

[mommyof4]

Damascus, I wish you would move to Iowa. We could use some people like you around here.

 

[Damascus]

Maybe you could ask your DH to “stop by with dinner” you’ve made (spaghetti is fine, btw!). Then, while he’s there, offer another “man” to talk to – man to man, father to father, husband to husband, kwim? Likely he could surely use someone to bounce all of this off of. I’ll bet he feels terribly alone right now. When I hit rock bottom, my poor husband was out of his gourd with worry for me and the kids etc. He took me to a counsellor, and for that I can never thank him enough. I’ve been in counseling now for a few months, and on antidepressants for a few months too – it’s like a whole new world to me. I feel like I know what my problem is now, and can face it, instead of giving into the panic/fear of “having a problem” – it’s a vicious cycle, one that scared the pants off my husband, and I know he went it alone and would have been eternally grateful for another guy to blow off steam, talk with, bounce ideas, etc.

just a thought…

I will take you to Mass with me this Sat at 5:00. hang in there, and I will take your advice. Thanks.

 

[Damascus]

Damascus, I wish you would move to Iowa. We could use some people like you around here.

I could. I dont care much for this area. But, trust me I am not a great person. (lets not go there!!! - I HAVE to go to confession OFTEN.)

Trust me. I am a huge sinner. But I am trying my best under the circumstances. With the aid of my faith and the Catholic Church guiding me through - I might get lucky and not go to hell.

 

[Maria3m]

I just took over a Lasanga to him

God will bless you for all you’ve done today, Damascus.
It’s certainly not going to be easy for him since his wife says she needs time away. I will pray she is able to get some professional help. Like someone mentioned already, there must be a big problem for her to just leave her child…not for an hour or two to get it together, but she wants/needs more time.

he grabbed my hand tight and told me he was really happy I was around.

Imagining him crying in the chair while holding his baby…

You’ve done a wonderful thing.

 

[carol_marie]

Damascus,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Now we can all pray for this family. That poor baby… it just breaks my heart! We have an entire thread devoted to infertility and how unfair that those women would give just about anything to have a baby and yet that Mom just walks away. I know she obviously is having problems… but still, it just makes me so sad.

You are so kind to have helped. When so many people are going here & there… busy busy busy… trying to get everything done so that Christmas can be “just so” - as we are told over & over again that it needs to be - you spent the day really doing as Jesus REALLY would’ve wanted you to - in honor of Him. Well done.

 

[Maria3m]

• you spent the day really doing as Jesus REALLY would’ve wanted you to - in honor of Him. Well done.

Absolutely! Not trying to be sappy here, but after reading Carol Marie’s reply above I thought how Mary & Joseph were turned away…

You opened your home to this family, Damascus.

 

[Damascus]

I have to thank my spouse who came home as soon as possible, to allow me to run over with the food (since our little one insisted on going) and ordered the pizza and cleaned up the mess and is going to run the bottles over in the morning (used ones I cleaned not dry yet!) and running a load of clothes (all the babys stuff was not too clean smelling- and we use a fragrance free no additives laundry detergent but its not dreft) and making lots of phone calls to try and track the mom and dad down. And letting me fool around on the computer now so I can relax. I guess it was a good learning moment for us all.

 

[Prayer_Warrior]

Thanks be to God for working in your life today and thanks to you for letting Him!! I think that you did everything today that Christians are called to do. Well done. I will definitely continue to pray for this family. What a difficult situation.

Everyone has given such excellent advice that I don’t have much to add. (Taking him dinner was beautiful, I’m sure it meant a lot to him). I would only add that if you continue to help this neighbor in need that you do whatever you need to keep your own sanity in tact. I don’t mean that exactly literally, but I think you get my drift. With a toddler of your own, I’m sure you have your hands pretty full…don’t spread yourself too thin. That being said, I think that you have a real opportunity to live the Gospel. The example you set will make a difference in many lives…including those who have read through this thread.

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Oh…I just saw your new post about your DH. That’s awesome. Hat’s off to him too.

 

[LilyM]

Wow, sounds very serious

My prayers for the poor husband and wife and you guys as well

 

[StratusRose]

Damascus, I’ve been following this thread all day and I am glad it turned out favorably. I hope the mother comes to terms with whatever she is dealing with. You’re an awesome person for helping out that family today. I am sure you will be rewarded for that in Heaven.

 

[Damascus]

Um, weird update.

My Jw mom is coming into town to offer herself to watch the baby, she does not celebrate Christmas, and would (really like an excuse to with us my baby) so she is coming in on Friday and if he lets her do it, she will take on caring for the baby if he says its okay, and she will stay with me, and either the baby at my house while she is here (she said until Christmas day) or at his whichever he wants. She is worried I cant handle having to have the baby now and she is worried he would be too proud to ask for help.

The family is not religous and the baby is not even baptized. I did wonder if I should have baptized the baby while she was here but I dont know how to do it.

My priest e-mailed me and said he is at the ready to intervene and do what he can for this man.

I love that Priest. He is not the average guy. he stepped up for me many a time, and is the one person who tipped me over the edge to become a Catholic as a convert.

 

[Irish_Becca]

I’m so sorry.

Isn’t 5 months a little old for colic? I would call a pediatrician, and ask them what you should do.

 

[Damascus]

I’m so sorry.

Isn’t 5 months a little old for colic? I would call a pediatrician, and ask them what you should do.

I dont know if the baby has colic. Mine did not. But the nurse said it was severe trauma. I think the baby has been getting regular health care since its a good outfit they use! Trust me. Its the best in the area. My little one goes there too, its not a Catholic Hospital, but its the best pediatric around.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

The family is not religous and the baby is not even baptized. I did wonder if I should have baptized the baby while she was here but I dont know how to do it.

I’m pretty sure I just read a question/response on the AAA forum and I’m glad you didn’t attempt to baptize the baby yourself. I can’t remember the exact reply, but it had something to do with the baptized child being held to higher standards but unable to attain them because the parents would not be teaching the faith. I don’t think I explained that right

Anyways, just wanted to say WOW. You did such an awesome thing today. And I’m really glad child protective services wasn’t involved before the dad knew what was going on! That poor man. I cried when i read that he was holding his daughter and crying. That family is suffering so much.

---

With a 5 month old daughter who is very difficult, I can sympathize with that mother. I have had my hubby home on paternity leave 24/7 since she was born, and it’s still been hard to keep my sanity. I’d like to say I know for sure I wouldn’t “run away” from home for a few days if her care was totally up to me…but I’m not sure that I wouldn’t. Thank God YOU are her neighbor!!!

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Another thought I had… try not to go over and help the husband alone too much. He is pretty vulnerable right now and highly stressed and emotional and you don’t want him developing some inappropriate attachment to you that will make things awkward. Hopefully your hubby can have that man-to-man talk with him and help him out. It’s great of your mom to offer her help too. What a wonderful family you have.

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I pray that the mom gets the help she needs and that the baby gets better soon so that they can experience a joyful family life.

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Malia