I am very confused and scared now

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Damascus said:
finally- baby is sleeping. so cute. if I call social services the dad might loose out on the child - what if they take the baby away from him?

I dont know what to do since I dont know how to contact him.
I left messages on another neighbors answering machine asking if they know it.

Here she goes again! Blood curdling screams all day.

Later-
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They won’t take the baby unless there’s a good reason to remove him from his parents and they might allow family to foster him while the family pulls itself together.
I think that the mother did the right thing. she sounds desperate.
I agree with the poster who said that you should call social services. That’s what they are there for.
 
Damascus said:
Um, weird update. :rolleyes:

My Jw mom is coming into town to offer herself to watch the baby, she does not celebrate Christmas, and would (really like an excuse to with us my baby) so she is coming in on Friday and if he lets her do it, she will take on caring for the baby if he says its okay, and she will stay with me, and either the baby at my house while she is here (she said until Christmas day) or at his whichever he wants. She is worried I cant handle having to have the baby now and she is worried he would be too proud to ask for help.

The family is not religous and the baby is not even baptized. I did wonder if I should have baptized the baby while she was here but I dont know how to do it.

My priest e-mailed me and said he is at the ready to intervene and do what he can for this man.

I love that Priest. He is not the average guy. he stepped up for me many a time, and is the one person who tipped me over the edge to become a Catholic as a convert.
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Well, bless your mother’s heart! What a sweet thing to do for him, the child care in my area for an infant is about 450 a week so she’s doing him a great favor.
I can see where you got your heart from!
 
I agree with the poster who said that you should call social services. That’s what they are there for.
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Why should social services be called unless there are signs of abuse? Social Services will come in and investigate this man and possibly take his child away. This could be worse for the baby then being with her daddy while her mommy is away. Just because a mom leaves a baby does NOT mean social services should become involved. To often children that should not be taken are taken.
 
Damascus said:
Going to the store now. He said there was a stockpile of formula wipes and diapers in the nursery. But, he would like me to get her some new pacifiyers since hers have small tears in them (I did not get one in the bag, so I did not know the baby was a paci baby!) and he needs some other little things frozen dinners and milk, bread all that. It sounds like she was planning this for a little while to have the stockpile, so she did worry about how things would go when she left. I am carring my cell phone with me as always but he said she may call me to talk so I will make sure I turn it on (usually I dont turn it on) in case she calls me. He seems better today. At least she called him again. I dont ask him anything about his conversations with her, I just let him talk to me as he sees fit. They dont owe me an accounting. Hopefully I will get to see the baby awake when I get back. The little one is excited to see her. I’ll see about clipping those nails so she does not get scratched up.
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I’m very worried about the mother, I hope that she’s with friends, but it’s hard to comprehend that the mother hasn’t been in touch with you about her baby, she’s a very sick lady.
I sincerely hope that her husband gets her into some kind of care because she doesn’t need to be on her own right now and she probably feeling afraid and guilty right now.
You are just super to do all that you have done.
I’ve known a few people like you, but they are very rare. Also, kudos to your husband for his role in this as well.
 
I would only call Social Services if the child appeared abused in some way and it does not appear to be the case. I have seen too many families messed up by the intervention of these agencies and legal due process is a frace in dealing with them.

Do good to that family and keep the governement out. Everyone will be better off.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
AmberDale said:
Damascus -
We are all sinners, but no matter what you did a wonderful Christian thing! It’s moments like this that others should step instead of walking away.
Easy way out would have gotten that baby to CPS…
Hard way is to do what you did.

Sinner or not you did a wonderful thing. 👍

May God Bless you and your family.
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I don’t know that I agree with this. CPS is there for the protection of the child and there are experts.
Damascus gave the dad a huge break but I wouldn’t recommend this action for others.
A child is an awesome responsibility and there could be legal repercussions and that’s exactly why I would have advised CPS immediately.
 
Karianne said:
I don’t know that I agree with this. CPS is there for the protection of the child and there are experts.
Damascus gave the dad a huge break but I wouldn’t recommend this action for others.
A child is an awesome responsibility and there could be legal repercussions and that’s exactly why I would have advised CPS immediately.
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And I would not… for those very same reasons. CPS doesn’t care a bit about those people. It’s just a job to them. They are overworked, understaffed, and largely without due process restrictions, (at least where I live) and some of the foster homes they place kids in would make you retch.

No way.

The old fashioned way is better. Christians stepping in to help out other human beings…whether they are believers or not.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
 
Guess its gone. Long story short: Dad took care of her nails, and she looks great, my toddler wants to visit the baby sometimes. I never got a call from Mom.(of baby)

I asked him if he would like to go with us to Mass sometime and that Christmas is busy but there is always plenty of room. No pressure just an invite. I told him many people were praying for him and his baby and wife, and that he is not alone. I gave him a prayer and info on St Joseph.

I hope that did not scare him off. He said he would read it.

I hope this ends up with the whole family back together again!
 
I’m glad to hear that dad is open to visiting with you about all of this. I’m really glad you didn’t take my advice and call social services. I really hope that this all turns out well for everyone involved.
 
I’ve been following this thread for awhile… Damascus, you’re awesome! Of course you’re a sinner, but you’re a selfless one! 😛

As for the baptism thing, unless there was an emergency, you shouldn’t baptise the baby, as you’re not a priest/decon, and you didn’t have the parents’ permission. FYI, if you ever do have to baptism someone in an emergency, all you have to do is get some kind of water, doesn’t matter if it’s holy or not, and pour it over the person’s head while saying “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.” and Presto! They’re baptized. ^^

My prayers are with you and the troubled family!
 
Damascus said:
I’ll see about clipping those nails so she does not get scratched up.
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I know you said that dad already took care of this, but as my baby sounds alot like his, maybe you could pass on the info that I find using a nail file much safer for a baby who will not sit still than clippers. I just do a nail or two at a time (or however many she’ll allow, lol).
Does the dad have time off from work right now? Hopefully mom will be back soon and able to care fro her precious baby. If not, they are very blessed to have a neighbor like you!
**Have a very Merry Christmas and God Bless you for what you have done for this family in need. **
Malia
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
I know you said that dad already took care of this, but as my baby sounds alot like his, maybe you could pass on the info that I find using a nail file much safer for a baby who will not sit still than clippers. I just do a nail or two at a time (or however many she’ll allow, lol).
Does the dad have time off from work right now? Hopefully mom will be back soon and able to care fro her precious baby. If not, they are very blessed to have a neighbor like you!
**Have a very Merry Christmas and God Bless you for what you have done for this family in need. **
Malia
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sorry- I should have suggested that. I even have some that were never used for mine. I’ll suggest it. The dad took a few days earlier off than he would have anyway. Nice that he works for a good company.👍
 
Church_Militant said:
And I would not… for those very same reasons. CPS doesn’t care a bit about those people. It’s just a job to them. They are overworked, understaffed, and largely without due process restrictions, (at least where I live) and some of the foster homes they place kids in would make you retch.

No way.

The old fashioned way is better. Christians stepping in to help out other human beings…whether they are believers or not.
Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum.
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Exactly, CPS will just make more problems for the child and family.
Damasus you are a wonderful woman, God Bless You:love:
 
Church_Militant said:
The old fashioned way is better. Christians stepping in to help out other human beings…whether they are believers or not.
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Yes! Exactly. What is wrong with helping our neighbors? I have always told people if they need a ‘break’ to please call me. I’ll be right there to care for the baby, so the baby doesn’t get hurt. My friend is a single mother and when her baby (well now she’s 7 but still) would scream she would call me just so she could get away for a few hours. No matter the time of day, and I would be there.
Post partum psychosis or not, people are scared to ask others for help.
I’m proud of the mother for doing what she did, she did not kill the baby (which happens all to often). Instead she intrusted a neighbor to do the right thing. Yes she needs help but no one likes to ask for help.
It kills me just to ask my own mother because she makes me feel bad. But if more people would say “I will help you when needed” and mean it…well imnsho, the world would be a better place.
CPS would not be overworked because family/friends/neighbors would be taking care of each other. Only the severe cases would need to go to CPS (like serious abuses). I personally think the sever cases would drop dramatically if people would just ask for HELP!!
 
kim3260 said:
Exactly, CPS will just make more problems for the child and family.
Damasus you are a wonderful woman, God Bless You:love:
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I can’t understand the fear of CPS. I’ve found them to be educated and compassionate people who want the best for families.

I’m also very wary of the legal ramifications of taking in a child without the state being aware of what is going on.

I fully understand the reluctance of Damascus’ husband. He sounds like a thinking person to me.

Damascus is a good person and what she did was wonderful, but there’s more going on with this family than can be resolved by good neighbors.

I’m afraid that there are going to be long-term results from this quandry and that Damascus may end up in court when legal custody of the baby is challenged.

In my area, the first foster home that a child would be sent to would be that of a family member, the family member needs to be qualified by CPS, but they
are just trying to make sure that the home is suitable.

This baby was effectively abandoned by it’s mother and the father didn’t even rush home to care for it. I sincerely hope that Damascus talks to her priest about any legal liability that she may have, and perhaps he can put her in touch with a good Catholic attorney.
 
Karianne said:
I can’t understand the fear of CPS. I’ve found them to be educated and compassionate people who want the best for families.

I’m also very wary of the legal ramifications of taking in a child without the state being aware of what is going on.

I fully understand the reluctance of Damascus’ husband. He sounds like a thinking person to me.

Damascus is a good person and what she did was wonderful, but there’s more going on with this family than can be resolved by good neighbors.

I’m afraid that there are going to be long-term results from this quandry and that Damascus may end up in court when legal custody of the baby is challenged.

In my area, the first foster home that a child would be sent to would be that of a family member, the family member needs to be qualified by CPS, but they
are just trying to make sure that the home is suitable.

This baby was effectively abandoned by it’s mother and the father didn’t even rush home to care for it. I sincerely hope that Damascus talks to her priest about any legal liability that she may have, and perhaps he can put her in touch with a good Catholic attorney.
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Have you been reading this thread AT ALL? The baby was only with Damascus until Dad could get home and now the baby is in his tender loving care until mom get’s things sorted out.
As far as I know, there is no legal liability for babysitting in a pinch.
Malia
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
Have you been reading this thread AT ALL? The baby was only with Damascus until Dad could get home and now the baby is in his tender loving care until mom get’s things sorted out.

As far as I know, there is no legal liability for babysitting in a pinch.

Malia
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Exactly Malia, I don’t think she gets it. The legal red tape IMO would not be worth it. Damascus is doing a wonderful thing and showing us her True Catholic Faith by helping her fellow man. God Bless Her!:love:
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
Have you been reading this thread AT ALL? The baby was only with Damascus until Dad could get home and now the baby is in his tender loving care until mom get’s things sorted out.

As far as I know, there is no legal liability for babysitting in a pinch.

Malia
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Very well stated-some folks just dont get it ! Damascus did a great favor for a neighbor…I wish we had more people like this around!
As far as CPS…here in NY/NJ they are HORRIBLE…over worked under staffed :mad:
 
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