You wrote, in defense of the uniqueness of homosexual groups, “It’s never been illegal to be vegetarian or have red hair. There’s never been a “red hair panic” as a legal defence against murdering gingers (look up “gay panic”). People aren’t regularly murdered for being vegetarian.”
Vegetarianism and redness of hair are , neither one, gravely disordered desires. The whole world was vegetarian until the Great Flood of Noah’s time (see Gen 9:1-4), when the freedom to be otherwise was given. Redness of hair similarly has ancient occurrences naturally, drawing forth no condemnations from God.
Same-sex desires are gravely disordered desires, contrary to the divine image and likeness in which man and woman were created. God, in His eternal being as Trinity, is in the divine essence fruitful in love. The Father eternally begets the Son, and from/in the love of Father and Son, the Holy Spirit eternal proceeds. This “dynamo” of divine generation - the Son eternally from the Father, and the Spirit eternally from the Father and the Son “as if as from one principle”, is eternally divine generation proceeding from love. This image, and this likeness, were build into mankind by way of the male- and the female-ness of human beings. Children can be generated and born into this world only by way of the union of the male and the female - same-sex attraction contradicts the divine image and likeness, and the command to be fruitful and multiply, as well as contradicting the witness to humanity, as Paul wrote, through marriage of the man and the woman, of the covenant of Christ and His Bride the Church.
Humanity was created man and woman specifically with the potency to be fruitful, and to be commanded to be fruitful, in that divine image and likeness. There is no sexuality in God, but there is fruitfulness in divine love: God is not sterile; His love is potent. In humanity, potency and fruitfulness (living the divine image and likeness in this attribute), was created by God by means of the two sexes, male and female.
Homosexual unions are intrinsically sterile. God is not. God created them man and woman “in the divine image and likeness” because He wants spiritual union with us - hence, He created us in His image to enable a certain “compatibility” within us to have true covenantal fellowship with Him and in Him and through Him. It is good to embrace the gift of being a man, or of being a woman, realizing the natural attraction of the one for the other is a sign of God’s design and intention for us: “Be fruitful” in the covenant of marital love, “and multiply.”
Same-sex desire is a temptation and a cross, when it arises, to be overcome - and it can be overcome. All are called to chastity in sexual expression: either through chaste, fruitful conjugal love in marriage (one man, one woman, until death do you part), or through spiritual fruitfulness in celibacy. Every cross that God permits, in every one of His beloved creatures, is meant for our sanctification: every temptation that comes to men, is permitted as a trial to be overcome - to be defeated in Christ - to help us grow stronger in holiness.