I know this is BAD! using Contraception

  • Thread starter Thread starter uofl19
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I feel bad reading this. My dad grew up in a family of 12 that lived in a 3 bedroom farmhouse. I currently live in a family of 5 and my dad makes way less than 40k.
 
Out of nine pregnancies, the only “surprise” we had was during condom use. After the 3rd pregnancy we learned about and began using NFP. I was not Catholic but it made sense on so many levels.

When I was studying to become Catholic I was shocked as to how many people that I thought were devout Catholics were so bold about their birth control and sterilizations.

Once you know it’s wrong it is a mortal sin to continue using ABC.
 
NFP would be the answer.

There are major differences between contraception and NFP.

First off, you need to realize most birth control is abortifacient in nature. See posts 1 & 2 on this thread for more details forums.catholic-questions.org/showthre…265#post1139265

Natural Family Planning is the knowledge of a couple’s fertility. It is a knowledge base about a couple’s ability to conceive a child.

The application of this knowledge in a particular marriage is called responsible parenthood. The couple either decides to try to achieve a pregnancy or to avoid by timing their use of the privileges of marriage according to the knowledge of their mutual fertility. (The man, if healthy, is fertile all the time. The woman, if healthy, is fertile about three or four days a month.)

Responsible parenthood differs from contraception in two ways: 1. There is no alteration of the bodies of either the husband or wife and this is a huge difference. 2. When the couple uses the privileges of marriage, they are not holding back at all or refusing to give everything they are, physically and spiritually. If they are infertile at the time, this is the result of the way God created them. They are giving themselves totally to one another AS THEY ARE AT THAT MOMENT. No one could require more. Further, God never asked couples to use the privileges of marriage at any particular time. That decision is completely theirs. So, in the marital act during an infertile period, husband and wife who are applying the knowledge of their fertility (NFP) responsibly (responsible parenthood) are giving everything they are at that moment to one another.

The intention is also different. The NFP couple realizes that in every marital union there is a chance (perhaps remote) of conceiving a child and they accept this possibility. The contracepting couple (even if only with condoms) has a positive intention against contraception.

An example might help: I want some money from a bank. It makes a huge difference whether I go to the bank and draw the money out from a checking account or whether I approach a teller with a gun and “withdraw” $100. Either way, I get the $100, but one act is radically different from the other.
SIMILAR THREAD

Catholic for contraception?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=1187013#post1187013

-----------

Here are some good links on the subject…

Christopher West: Theology of the Body Downloadables
christopherwest.com/hearnow.asp

Christopher West: Theology of the Body (Created & Redeemed - 8 CD’s) AWESOME CD’S
christopherwest.com/item.asp?CategoryID=11

NFP vs. Condoms ewtn.com/vexperts/showme…p?number=441428

A Culture of Inverted Sexuality
catholiceducation.org/articl…ity/se0049.html

Contraception Why Not by Dr. Janet Smith
catholiceducation.org/ar…ity/se0002.html

Sin of Onan (Genesis 38: 8-10)
usccb.org/nab/bible/genesis/genesis38.htm

The Couple to Couple League on Contraception
ccli.org/nfp/contraception/N…ntraception.php

The Evil of Contraception by Fr. Frank Pavone
priestsforlife.org/colum…ntraception.htm

The Harms of Contraception
omsoul.com/contraception-problems.php

Breast Cancer and the Pill
polycarp.org/overviewbreastc…aceptives.h tm

Catholic.com: Contraception and Sterilization/Birth Control
catholic.com/library/Con…erilization.asp
catholic.com/library/Birth_Control.asp

Abortion & Contraception: Fruits of the Same Tree
priestsforlife.org/broch…sofsametree.htm
 
40.png
mumto5:
I certainly don’t expect the bills or anything to be done by the church, but a single father of five, especially with a young baby, needs practical support and where a family has lost the mother following the teachings of the church, why shouldn’t the church help provide that practical support? To do otherwise seems hypocritical to me.

We are very well prepared should anything happen to us, just as well as we were prepared that day. We are lucky, we have enough money to afford comprehensive insurance. If I died my husband would have got the mortgage paid off and close to a million dollars in life-insurance. Not everyone can afford to be so well set up. Jesus exhorted us to help those in that situation. Seems very few Catholics do so however.

Yes, I feel relief, be concerned if you like. I’m still suffering post-traumatic stress. It’s well under control now but still there. And yea, I know when I’ve been let down. Thankfully, this situation has clarified for me who is someone worth my time and effort and who isn’t. That’s a huge plus. Can be quite surprising.
Click to expand...
I want to thank you for yur open conversation on this issue. I have been prayong about what I can do for others with in the Church and you have given me much to pray about. The local Mom’s clubs take up some of your issues. Yet they are not from the Catholic point of view or values in many things.

What yould you think of a group of people that would provide the services extended family provided when we all lived near one another? An ear to listen, a hand to hold and help with the older children or house and chores? We are out there we just sometimes need to be asked and not just expected to do things. We might be afraid to “get under foot.”🙂
 
I want to thank everyone for there answers and support. I hope everyone had a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Why I brought this up was more because of every Catholic I know and obviously I know a lot. Are using condoms or some type of Birth Control. Some of the reasoning I am hearing is, well I Can’t afford any children, everyone uses it, The Church is way out of Date on this issue, etc.etc… I can honestly say this. If all my Catholic friends and family were using NFP and I was doing what I’m doing, I would say HEY!! I’m doing something wrong here. Of course a couple of my non-denom friends will say “Where is that in the Bible BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” Trust me they are not the one’s influnecing my decision.

I do think it needs to be known and people should not be shocked that most Catholics nowadays are using birth control and ignoring the rules of the Church on this issue.

Thank you again for your answers!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
 
40.png
uofl19:
I want to thank everyone for there answers and support. I hope everyone had a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Why I brought this up was more because of every Catholic I know and obviously I know a lot. Are using condoms or some type of Birth Control. Some of the reasoning I am hearing is, well I Can’t afford any children, everyone uses it, The Church is way out of Date on this issue, etc.etc… I can honestly say this. If all my Catholic friends and family were using NFP and I was doing what I’m doing, I would say HEY!! I’m doing something wrong here. Of course a couple of my non-denom friends will say “Where is that in the Bible BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” Trust me they are not the one’s influnecing my decision.

I do think it needs to be known and people should not be shocked that most Catholics nowadays are using birth control and ignoring the rules of the Church on this issue.

Thank you again for your answers!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Click to expand...
Ummm… OK. Interesting, so a whole lot of people here put a bunch of time into forming well-thought out posts on your issue, but it appears that your post was just to let us all know that most Catholics are using ABC? We know that, thanks. I for one, do not appreciate the waste of time here:(

On a side note, and this is not meant as rude, but if every Catholic you know is using ABC, you might want to expand your circle of friends. I know Pagans who chose NFP over ABC b/c “ABC just seems wrong and an insult to the gods” LOL.

I guess I should count myself Blessed to have many Catholic family and friends, some who use ABC, some who use NFP, and many who use nothing at all to space their children, they just trust in God.

May God Bless you.
 
It is like I’m talking to my kids “if Jane says to jump off the cliff because EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT, your going to jump off the cliff too?” Wow, what a foolish attitude and very CHILDISH!!
 
40.png
uofl19:
I know I need to go to confession but before I tell you what I’m doing I need to say I’m findoing out a lot of Catholics are doing the same thing and don’t feel the least bit guilty, plus my mother and many other Catholics that are older say aaahhhh don’t worry about it everyone does that now, it ain’t like the old days.

My wife and I just had our 1st baby 3 months ago and we love him and love being new parents. However, with the costs of a new baby and my wife staying at home we are doing everything we can to prevent having anymore kids until at least 2 yrs. Of course that means me using protection. Like I said I felt apprehensive myself but when every other Catholic I know does the same thing and my Mother and Father who are in their early 70’s are telling me either she goes back to work or she goes on the pill, you can’t afford another child at this point. Mind you these are 2 people who are born and bred Catholics. The thing about it is, I don’t feel a lot of guilt about it because it is stressful enough financially with 1, I can’t imagine 2,3,4 more kids.

I know I will get bashed from some or most but is ther anyone out there who is going through what I am?? I mean saving for retirement, house payment, saving for son’s college. I make a modest income and we have no debt but the house. So we are not spending carelessly, I just don’t see how some people do it making 40-50K with 2-3 kids. I will not go into DEBT FOR ANYTHING!!
Click to expand...
Try “Natural Family Planning”. (Yes, I know that others have suggested this.)

I also agree with previous posters who suggested that your parent’s role in your family planning decisions should be minimal at best.

I do want to encourage you, though. My wife and I have eight beautiful children. We’ve never made 40-50K per year – or close to it! (Heck, I teach at a Catholic University – No one EVER got rich doing that!!! 🙂

Re-read Matthew 6. Be encouraged!

Blessings,
 
David Zampino:
Try “Natural Family Planning”. (Yes, I know that others have suggested this.)

I also agree with previous posters who suggested that your parent’s role in your family planning decisions should be minimal at best.

I do want to encourage you, though. My wife and I have eight beautiful children. We’ve never made 40-50K per year – or close to it! (Heck, I teach at a Catholic University – No one EVER got rich doing that!!! 🙂

Re-read Matthew 6. Be encouraged!

Blessings,
Click to expand...
David,

Amazing that you can have a great life with 8 kids and not a lot of money. I mean that with all sincerity. Too many people have the attitude that a child is a financial burden. My wife stays at home and is a mother to our 3 children while I work outside the home (2 jobs) to make just over $40K. It can be done as you well know. God’s blessings to you and to your family!! I am sure that your life is an inspiration to many.
 
Mirror Mirror:
David,

Amazing that you can have a great life with 8 kids and not a lot of money. I mean that with all sincerity. Too many people have the attitude that a child is a financial burden. My wife stays at home and is a mother to our 3 children while I work outside the home (2 jobs) to make just over $40K. It can be done as you well know. God’s blessings to you and to your family!! I am sure that your life is an inspiration to many.
Click to expand...
God has been very good to us. And really, we have found that subsequent children are not necessarily all that much more expensive, outside of things like food. The crib was handed-down; clothes get worn by multiple children; we’re at an age where we don’t have to pay for babysitting, because the oldest two can help; etc. Our friends who think we’re crazy now – will be jealous when we are surrounded with grand-children, and they are begging their only children to please produce one!

Our children are our GREATEST wealth – and we have discovered that when a real need is there, God always comes through!

Blessings,
 
I only wish I had your “problem.” We have been trying for 5 years to have a child. I know you are happy that you have a child, but please consider welcoming all of the children God brings into your life. His plan is always better than ours.

PCR
 
40.png
uofl19:
I want to thank everyone for there answers and support. I hope everyone had a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Why I brought this up was more because of every Catholic I know and obviously I know a lot. Are using condoms or some type of Birth Control. Some of the reasoning I am hearing is, well I Can’t afford any children, everyone uses it, The Church is way out of Date on this issue, etc.etc… I can honestly say this. If all my Catholic friends and family were using NFP and I was doing what I’m doing, I would say HEY!! I’m doing something wrong here. Of course a couple of my non-denom friends will say “Where is that in the Bible BLAH BLAH BLAH!!” Trust me they are not the one’s influnecing my decision.

I do think it needs to be known and people should not be shocked that most Catholics nowadays are using birth control and ignoring the rules of the Church on this issue.

Thank you again for your answers!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Click to expand...
It is easier for a camel to pass though the eye of a needle than it is to get to heaven. Sometimes living the faith is not easy, but in the end it will be worth it.

PCR
 
One thing that seems to be missing from everyone’s critique is God’s love, mercy and compassion. Reading the gospels, we see many instances where Jesus heals/forgives people who are not even Jewish, let alone “good” Jews. He is moved by compassion for sinners others turn away. He knows and understands our suffering and does not condemn us out of hand for breaking a rule. Not one time did he say “your correct doctrine has saved you” - No, he said “your faith has saved you”. Many time in our daily struggle we may feel that the correct choice for us is not necessarily by the “letter of the law” but we bare our soul to the Lord and trust in his compassion and mercy - and the fact that he places great importance on the “spirit of the law”. This does not mean that we make these decisions out of hand, but only after much prayer and consideration. We trust that the Lord will be true to his word and understand our hearts. While I understand the desire to try and get others to obey the “letter of the law” we must at times also consider the “spirit” and open our hearts to the compassion and mercy that the Lord offers. We do not know these peoples hearts or situations. To assume that there is a one size fits all solution for everyone is less than charitable. People need love and mercy, not constant reminders of their failings.
 
40.png
koda:
One thing that seems to be missing from everyone’s critique is God’s love, mercy and compassion. Reading the gospels, we see many instances where Jesus heals/forgives people who are not even Jewish, let alone “good” Jews. He is moved by compassion for sinners others turn away. He knows and understands our suffering and does not condemn us out of hand for breaking a rule. Not one time did he say “your correct doctrine has saved you” - No, he said “your faith has saved you”. Many time in our daily struggle we may feel that the correct choice for us is not necessarily by the “letter of the law” but we bare our soul to the Lord and trust in his compassion and mercy - and the fact that he places great importance on the “spirit of the law”. This does not mean that we make these decisions out of hand, but only after much prayer and consideration. We trust that the Lord will be true to his word and understand our hearts. While I understand the desire to try and get others to obey the “letter of the law” we must at times also consider the “spirit” and open our hearts to the compassion and mercy that the Lord offers. We do not know these peoples hearts or situations. To assume that there is a one size fits all solution for everyone is less than charitable. People need love and mercy, not constant reminders of their failings.
Click to expand...
Spoken like a lobbyist for the artificial contraception industry. 😉

Nobody’s trying to get someone to arbitrarily adhere to the letter of the law here. The anti-ABC crowd is merely stating what the Church teaches on the matter.

While I agree with much of the substance of what you wrote, I have to point out that nowhere did Jesus say “As long as your heart’s in the right place, do your own thing, yo.”
 
40.png
montanaman:
Spoken like a lobbyist for the artificial contraception industry. 😉

Nobody’s trying to get someone to arbitrarily adhere to the letter of the law here. The anti-ABC crowd is merely stating what the Church teaches on the matter.

While I agree with much of the substance of what you wrote, I have to point out that nowhere did Jesus say “As long as your heart’s in the right place, do your own thing, yo.”
Click to expand...
No, but he clearly disagreed with the Phariasees who only touted the letter of the law - we’re human beings, not machines that work a certain way if you follow all the directions. The law is nothing w/o compassion and mercy.
 
40.png
koda:
No, but he clearly disagreed with the Phariasees who only touted the letter of the law - we’re human beings, not machines that work a certain way if you follow all the directions. The law is nothing w/o compassion and mercy.
Click to expand...
Absolutely.

But the law can’t be defanged with moral relativism, either. I’m not sure if that’s what you’re getting at, but usually when the “non-judgmental speak” comes out in the midst of an already non-judgmental conversation, my radar goes off.
 
40.png
PCR99:
I only wish I had your “problem.” We have been trying for 5 years to have a child. I know you are happy that you have a child, but please consider welcoming all of the children God brings into your life.
Click to expand...
My heart aches for you… I pray Our Lord answers your prayers soon! His will be done.
40.png
PCR99:
His plan is always better than ours.

PCR
Click to expand...
Thank you, PCR. It really is that simple. Why is that so hard to accept sometimes?
 
40.png
montanaman:
Absolutely.

But the law can’t be defanged with moral relativism, either. I’m not sure if that’s what you’re getting at, but usually when the “non-judgmental speak” comes out in the midst of an already non-judgmental conversation, my radar goes off.
Click to expand...
Ditto.

And sometimes, it is VERY charitable and merciful to help a fellow understand (with loving words and good example) that he could be placing his immortal soul in danger of spending an eternity in hell.

Judgementalism is easily avoided by making sure we are constantly working on the virtue of humility. :yup:
 
40.png
koda:
No, but he clearly disagreed with the Phariasees who only touted the letter of the law - we’re human beings, not machines that work a certain way if you follow all the directions. The law is nothing w/o compassion and mercy.
Click to expand...
I thought it was for touting the letter of the law, but not living it? Or living it an exemplifying (sp?) themselves… One of the two 😛

As for the OP, if you truly don’t want another child, abstain. I’ve seen quite a few young parents b/c they trusted ABC’s as a sure fire thing
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top