Dear Flavius_Aetius, please find a holy priest to be your spiritual director/confessor so you can work on the problems that you feel you “haven’t mastered” which are keeping you from confession. My friend, you do not have to master your problems to go to confession, you just have to repent of your sins with imperfect or perfect contrition, while seeking help for any addictions. I’m afraid you are ruining things for yourself by keeping away from the sacraments. You are depriving yourself of what you truly need for healing: sancifying grace! You may feel you have a good reason to keep from confession, but you actually don’t have one because we are called to go to confession in the messiness of our sinful lives; we most certainly should not wait to go until we feel we have mastery over our passions, sins, problems, etc… Just be sure to seek help for any addictive behavior you have and go to the sacrament of reconciliation at the same time - and let the priest know you are seeking help so he knows you are trying your best to keep from sinning.
This world is a “vale of tears” and can make us sad, but please don’t ever let yourself hate people (if you truly do)… just hate their sins. Remember to “love the sinner and hate the sin.” May our Lord give you healing and peace. I’m sorry you are suffering such pain. Please make sure to offer it up. God bless!