I would be more "open to life" if I could get my tubes tied!

[ryecroft]

She has said repeatedly that women who can raise a large number of kids are wonderful. But she is self-aware enough to know that she is not one of them. No where did she say that she doesn’t put her kids first, quite the opposite in fact.

And suggesting that her education is a waste and that she is obligated to do something that makes money to support kids that don’t exist yet, and kids that she doesn’t ever want to exist is crazy and offensive.

Many people feel that education is of great value, even if it doesn’t make much money. That’s a great value to have and one that she is certainly passing on to her children.

 

[LaSainte]

A nice little PM I received from another member here about this thread:

You need to be selfless and focus on today (i.e. your children), not 25 years from now, taking that ‘cruise’. To be a parent is to be selfless. Your kids come first, not you.

Are you regretting having kids at this point? What if your child has an accident and is left mentally retarded? You’ll have to take care of that child far into your 60’s possibly… think about that. I hope God throws you a curve ball. You deserve a good strong lesson in parenting. Selfish is putting it lightly.

Please change your name also. Tu n’es definitivement pas une sainte… TRES TRES LOIN d’etre une sainte. Je prie pour toi que tes enfants t’aide a devenir une sainte! Offer up your sufferings. That might help you reach sancity. God bless.

P.S. I privately messaged you so only you would know, not the public forum, how you look in other people’s eyes concerning this… And I’m not the only one you can believe that.

The translation from the French for those who do not speak it: “You are definitely not a saint…FAR FAR from it. I pray that your children help you to become one.”

 

[jilly4ski]

Oooh, lock her up! A woman who doesn’t want to have kids! She must be a lunatic! A girl who doesn’t want kids must need therapy, as you so kindly pointed out.

Substitute kids with something, anything else and let us see how absurd this really is. A lot of girls don’t get all weak in the ovaries every time they see a baby and have zero desire to ever have one. NOTHING wrong with that. Certainly nothing to have yourself brainwashed into “wanting” kids over.

Not everybody is cut out for being a mother. It takes insane love, dedication, hard work and perseverance. Anybody who doesn’t want to do it shouldn’t be bullied into it by the likes of the members of CAF, that’s for sure. That’s like trying to convince someone to be a brain surgeon just because they were born with a brain. If they really don’t want to do it, they shouldn’t do it. But what do any of YOU care? Long after you’ve made your silly posts about just taking the leap and having the kids anyway, or going and having themselves programmed by some therapist into believing they want kids, they will be stuck with the consequences wih their decisions…no skin off your back. You just hit POST and move on. Meanwhile, there are real people reading these posts.

I am so confused LaSainte. You have been nothing but nasty and bitter. You want kids or at least said you did. In fact you said you wanted another. Yet you lash out at RJ with sarcasm suggesting that you rather not want kids at all. And insult everyone with more kids than you, for even suggesting you look farther into the issue of being so decidedly against something that you professed a desire for. We have commended you for you fidelity to the church, (at least those of us who can read), but note that there is room for some growth in the area of trusting God and maybe even yourself and your husband with NFP(?) not to mention some charity. Many have just been trying to get you to see it in a different light and that you are placing more pressure and stress on yourself than is necessary.

You have two children now and your youngest if I am understanding correctly is still quite young (under a year old). And even though you want another you have declared that you can never do 3 because you cannot have 4. (Can you see the lack of logic in that statement). But you don’t even need 3 right now. Why not continue to discern your reasons for not having children, you may find as your youngest child nears 2 or 3 that another child is something that you really desire and feel ready for. Or you may not and your serious reasons may continue. If you have your third you may again find that you have serious reasons to avoid and these reasons might persist until you are no longer fertile, or you again might feel God calling you to have another and your serious reason no longer are serious. You see, the pressure and stress you are spewing out at us, is mostly unnecessary, unless you are already seeing signs of menopause or perimenopause and need to make your decision to have another soon.

 

[Lowyoyo]

I definitely can relate to some of your comments, having 7 and 1 on the way in my early 30’s… not rich and feeling quite buried… i’ve contemplated getting “fixed”… but reading some of these posts makes me feel even guiltier about even thinking about it. Not to downplay your plight, we share the same burdens… but it seems so shallow and selfish written out. It’s not like we’re martyrs… we chose this vocation. blessings can seem like burdens. Or maybe burdens are blessings? I’ll admit that its the fear of God that keeps me from using contraception. Seems ungrateful to even contemplate (although i do from time to time)but “the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away…” Well something like that. Lol
I’ll pray for us all. It’s tough!!

 

[LaSainte]

I definitely can relate to some of your comments, having 7 and 1 on the way in my early 30’s… not rich and feeling quite buried… i’ve contemplated getting “fixed”… but reading some of these posts makes me feel even guiltier about even thinking about it. Not to downplay your plight, we share the same burdens… but it seems so shallow and selfish written out. It’s not like we’re martyrs… we chose this vocation. blessings can seem like burdens. Or maybe burdens are blessings? I’ll admit that its the fear of God that keeps me from using contraception. Seems ungrateful to even contemplate (although i do from time to time)but “the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away…” Well something like that. Lol
I’ll pray for us all. It’s tough!!

Wow. My prayers go out to you and your family. I don’t think I could handle your situation very well at all. I would have probably had my tubes tied long ago or started wearing a chastity belt! All joking aside, may you find love and peace in your family and may God bless you and your little ones.

 

[jilly4ski]

Actually, I view this as showing God “hey I know I can only handle and take care of this many - I’m greatful but I know I wouldn’t be honoring you by not taking good care of the rest you might send me - but I am so happy for those I have…” The OP realizes that she can handle no more than 3 - and that’s with saying she can barely handle 2 - I would rather see someone handle 2 well than 4 not so well. Just because others have had it get easier (or feel it’s become easier) with more does not mean the OP will. And it’s up to her if that’s a grave reason - that’s why the Church leaves it up to couples to discern what a great or grave reason is. Just because some may not find exhaustion and not having enough finances as a great/grave reason doesn’t mean it’s not a great/grave reason for another couple.
Yes in this world there will be trouble - but we don’t have to go looking for it - for some an extra child would be trouble (meaning the situation not the child - yes every child is a blessing )- but more children, the OP is wise enough to realize could be ‘trouble’ for her financial or emotional state and therefore family.
God Bless
Rye

My bold.

And yet nobody, least of all the OP, have explained how having three children means having four.

Most (if not all) have expressed that the OP is over tired and stressed out and obviously should not be thinking about having another child right now. What we are saying, is that she won’t always be sleep deprived and running on fumes, and why not go for that third child, that she said she would like, when that time comes, and thus her categorical no, seemed out of place.

Also, I think many people are more upset with the way the OP expressed herself (the words and tone she used) than with the actual feelings she is feeling. Don’t we all get overwhelmed, stressed out, at the end of our patience (especially at the end of a long day with crabby kids). Her absolute statements didn’t help, nothing in this world is certain, and it seems strange to be so completely closed to something in which is not completely in our control (what if she gains custody of some nieces and nephews after a tragedy and suddenly finds herself with gasp four kids ). Not to mention, she seems to be contradicting herself and attributing statements and attitudes to posters that haven’t been said or even implied. The majority of posters have expressed some disgust at the words used in her first post, but expressed some sympathy in what she is going through, and then try to offer a new way of looking at it so she does have to feel so… trapped.

 

[Sillara]

Oh I’m sorry. Did you sell all of your belongings and give the money to the poor? I’m sure you did. All but your computer I see. And I’m sure you go around in sackcloth and ashes as well.

You don’t know me, and I don’t pretend to know you. You don’t know that I have this computer in order to do my job, and I am grateful that you have paid enough attention to what I wrote even to insult me afterward. At least I know you read it, and I did not completely waste my time in writing it. As a mother of six, time is quite precious to me, but I thought that it was worth stating what I did as a general principle. In fact, I specifically stated that I was not addressing you personally, but I suppose you missed that bit. I don’t mind. I remember what it was like to have two little children. (I actually have two littles right now, ages 3 and almost 2.) I hope that you begin to feel a bit better soon.

 

[LaSainte]

I am so confused LaSainte. You have been nothing but nasty and bitter. You want kids or at least said you did. In fact you said you wanted another. Yet you lash out at RJ with sarcasm suggesting that you rather not want kids at all. And insult everyone with more kids than you, for even suggesting you look farther into the issue of being so decidedly against something that you professed a desire for. We have commended you for you fidelity to the church, (at least those of us who can read), but note that there is room for some growth in the area of trusting God and maybe even yourself and your husband with NFP(?) not to mention some charity. Many have just been trying to get you to see it in a different light and that you are placing more pressure and stress on yourself than is necessary.

You have two children now and your youngest if I am understanding correctly is still quite young (under a year old). And even though you want another you have declared that you can never do 3 because you cannot have 4. (Can you see the lack of logic in that statement). But you don’t even need 3 right now. Why not continue to discern your reasons for not having children, you may find as your youngest child nears 2 or 3 that another child is something that you really desire and feel ready for. Or you may not and your serious reasons may continue. If you have your third you may again find that you have serious reasons to avoid and these reasons might persist until you are no longer fertile, or you again might feel God calling you to have another and your serious reason no longer are serious. You see, the pressure and stress you are spewing out at us, is mostly unnecessary, unless you are already seeing signs of menopause or perimenopause and need to make your decision to have another soon.

Well I am sorry if anyone has been offended by my posts. I’m tired of being told what to do, as if bigger families are necessarily better and any woman who doesn’t want one is an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish brat. That’s fine.

To be honest, if anything, this thread has made me see that I really don’t want any more children. The selfishness was me wanting to try for a girl, when the boys I have are blessings enough for me to last a lifetime. Selfish would be me having another child to satisfy some arbitrary need I feel to have a girl when what I really need to do is focus on raising my boys to the best of my ability, something I simply cannot do if I am overwhelmed and exhausted.

I may change my mind eventually-God may call me to have another child, just as He may call me to move to Jamaica and start a mission, or join the Peace Corps, but the chances are slim-to-none.

At any rate, I will not be jumping on the “bigger is better” bandwagon any time soon. Thanks to those who have helped me to clarify my thoughts on the issue, however inadvertently.

 

[jilly4ski]

Well I am sorry if anyone has been offended by my posts. I’m tired of being told what to do, as if bigger families are necessarily better and any woman who doesn’t want one is an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish brat. That’s fine.

To be honest, if anything, this thread has made me see that I really don’t want any more children. The selfishness was me wanting to try for a girl, when the boys I have are blessings enough for me to last a lifetime. Selfish would be me having another child to satisfy some arbitrary need I feel to have a girl when what I really need to do is focus on raising my boys to the best of my ability, something I simply cannot do if I am overwhelmed and exhausted.

I may change my mind eventually-God may call me to have another child, just as He may call me to move to Jamaica and start a mission, or join the Peace Corps, but the chances are slim-to-none.

At any rate,** I will not be jumping on the “bigger is better” bandwagon** any time soon. Thanks to those who have helped me to clarify my thoughts on the issue, however inadvertently.

My bolding.

Sigh, again with the insults. :nope:

There is nothing wrong with wanting or desiring another blessing (as this is a natural desire in us and indeed the purpose of marriage-the begetting and raising of children) or even a blessing of a different sort (a girl rather than a boy). But we just need to understand that we don’t always get to choose our blessings and accept what comes.

:hug1: Just know, you should be discerning your “serious reasons” every month. But I hope and pray your find some peace and joy (and a little shut eye) and that your serious reason will resolve and you can welcome your third blessing that you desire at the appropriate time.

I am going to bed now, and don’t know if I will be able to catch up if this thread explodes much over night. So I might not get to post again.

Pax

 

[LaSainte]

My bolding.

Sigh, again with the insults. :nope:

There is nothing wrong with wanting or desiring another blessing (as this is a natural desire in us and indeed the purpose of marriage-the begetting and raising of children) or even a blessing of a different sort (a girl rather than a boy). But we just need to understand that we don’t always get to choose our blessings and accept what comes.

:hug1: Just know, you should be discerning your “serious reasons” every month. But I hope and pray your find some peace and joy (and a little shut eye) and that your serious reason will resolve and you can welcome your third blessing that you desire at the appropriate time.

I am going to bed now, and don’t know if I will be able to catch up if this thread explodes much over night. So I might not get to post again.

Pax

Nothing insulting about it. There is a group mentality here on CAF that bigger families are necessarily better or more full of blessings than smaller ones. Small families are looked on with pity at best and distain at worst for the most part. A family with only 2 kids must either mean the parents were stricken with infertility, had some children who didn’t make it, there is some major illness or crisis preventing them from having more children, or they are simply incredibly selfish.

It never occurs to anyone here that a small family might be a wonderful thing for some people and that not all couples are called to have many children.

One size does not fit all and people’s choices need to be respected, especially when those people are acting in conformity with Church teaching and doing the best they can to live a Christian life.

 

[The_Bucket]

Nothing insulting about it. There is a group mentality here on CAF that bigger families are necessarily better or more full of blessings than smaller ones. Small families are looked on with pity at best and distain at worst for the most part. A family with only 2 kids must either mean the parents were stricken with infertility, had some children who didn’t make it, there is some major illness or crisis preventing them from having more children, or they are simply incredibly selfish.

It never occurs to anyone here that a small family might be a wonderful thing for some people and that not all couples are called to have many children.

One size does not fit all and people’s choices need to be respected, especially when those people are acting in conformity with Church teaching and doing the best they can to live a Christian life.

Speaking as a sort-of member of the CAF community, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to determine other people’s family size or how blessed you are one way or another. And frankly I don’t get that vibe from any of the other real or imagined people on here.

I concur that not all people are called to have large families. But we are all called, as Catholics, to obey the doctrine of our Church and accept whatever crosses or blessings God gives us.

I have far from a “come what may” mentality when it comes to children given that the history of my wife and I in our 4.5 years of marriage thus far has proven to be one of at least above-average fertility, but I know that ultimately I don’t have the final say. We had two kids by our second anniversary. Our fifth anniversary is coming up in the fall and we have yet to conceive again. We used very conservative NFP methods for the first couple of years after our second child and fairly conservative since then.

God’s design in nature and for each of our lives is what it is. Artificial means of contraception are not only illicit they are also imperfect. So if you’re hoping that bypassing the Church’s teachings means at least you’ll get a little peace and quiet, good luck with that. There are no guarantees in life. You might not have another kid but maybe you’ll have some complication. Maybe someone loses a job. Maybe a family member gets seriously ill or hurt. Your life, my life, all of our lives are not controllable. As someone who freaks out about a lack of control, it’s not easy to say that or believe it myself. But I know it’s true and I have to work every day to accept it.

 

[sw85]

Well I don’t see it as not following God’s will. And I do have faith in God. But why on Earth would I think God is calling me to have more kids?

“Be fruitful and multiply” seems a pretty explicit commandment. Also one of the only ones humanity has been consistently good about observing.

You imply that God is screaming “Have more kids!”, and I’m all like “No way dude, I do what I want!”

Not at all. I don’t know what God wants of you. I’m saying you need to be open to whatever He wants of you and sterilizing yourself is absolutely inconsistent with that. Hence why you need to not do it.

I also think God wants me to be happy

I’m not altogether sure where this idea comes from, but I hear it a lot. It’s wrong and dangerous (as we are presently seeing). Did God want Mary to be happy? Jesus to be happy? The apostles? Mary and the apostles dropped literally everything to follow God, at great personal expense and suffering. The apostles basically had to abandon their families altogether (Peter, for instance, was married but lived celibately afterwards). They had happy moments to be sure, but it was the happiness that arises from living a good life, the sort that our sin-darkened intellects normally don’t permit. Jesus wasn’t a happy person by most accounts. He strikes me as stern, dour, extremely serious, and often exasperated with the faithlessness of those around him – though, again, with happy and joyful moments here and there. Needless to say he suffered and died in extremest agony. Clearly, Jesus’ happiness was pretty far down God’s list of concerns. It was pretty far down his own list of concerns, too, because He recognized that submission to God is a much higher good – God Himself being the highest good.

Happiness is trivia. God wants you to be holy; he has said as much repeatedly (“be perfect, as my heavenly father is perfect”). Happiness will follow from that, but not in this life.

and doesn’t want me to have more kids than I feel comfortable with. I believe that God wants me to be happy and to teach my kids to be happy. Everybody here seems to be of the opinion that God has no respect for human individuality and that larger families are necessarily better. Pish posh.

Perhaps that’s because the idea of “human individuality” being the highest good didn’t exist anywhere in human history until approximately five minutes ago, and every society which has embraced it has immediately collapsed demographically and morally. It’s a radically ahistorical, amoral, and basically atheistic idea. Of course we reject it.

 

[PaulinVA]

To be honest, if anything, this thread has made me see that I really don’t want any more children. The selfishness was me wanting to try for a girl, when the boys I have are blessings enough for me to last a lifetime. Selfish would be me having another child to satisfy some arbitrary need I feel to have a girl when what I really need to do is focus on raising my boys to the best of my ability, something I simply cannot do if I am overwhelmed and exhausted.

I have been reading this thread for a few days, and I certainly feel for your position.

We want to follow the talents and interests God has apparently given us, and at the same time there is a general call to give ourselves over to our families. Sometimes those two things are at odds with each other.

I did not do well during my kids’ earlier years. I was a selfish, petulant child. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I love my kids, and I really have enjoyed the years after say, they reach 7 or so. For some, those same years are a challenge.

Some of us never realize our dreams. Some dreams were never meant to be achieved.

Open to life means that you are open to what might happen, not that you necessarily plan things out.

 

[LaSainte]

“Be fruitful and multiply” seems a pretty explicit commandment. Also one of the only ones humanity has been consistently good about observing.

Not at all. I don’t know what God wants of you. I’m saying you need to be open to whatever He wants of you and sterilizing yourself is absolutely inconsistent with that. Hence why you need to not do it.

I’m not altogether sure where this idea comes from, but I hear it a lot. It’s wrong and dangerous (as we are presently seeing). Did God want Mary to be happy? Jesus to be happy? The apostles? Mary and the apostles dropped literally everything to follow God, at great personal expense and suffering. The apostles basically had to abandon their families altogether (Peter, for instance, was married but lived celibately afterwards). They had happy moments to be sure, but it was the happiness that arises from living a good life, the sort that our sin-darkened intellects normally don’t permit. Jesus wasn’t a happy person by most accounts. He strikes me as stern, dour, extremely serious, and often exasperated with the faithlessness of those around him – though, again, with happy and joyful moments here and there. Needless to say he suffered and died in extremest agony. Clearly, Jesus’ happiness was pretty far down God’s list of concerns. It was pretty far down his own list of concerns, too, because He recognized that submission to God is a much higher good – God Himself being the highest good.

Happiness is trivia. God wants you to be holy; he has said as much repeatedly (“be perfect, as my heavenly father is perfect”). Happiness will follow from that, but not in this life.

Perhaps that’s because the idea of “human individuality” being the highest good didn’t exist anywhere in human history until approximately five minutes ago, and every society which has embraced it has immediately collapsed demographically and morally. It’s a radically ahistorical, amoral, and basically atheistic idea. Of course we reject it.

Wow, I kind of feel sorry for you. You don’t think Jesus was happy? DOUR? Really? I picture Jesus making wine at the wedding of Cana, celebrating with the guests. I picture him laughing with the little children, talking with and enjoying the company of Lazarus, drinking (he was called a drunkard after all) and philosophizing with people, engaging in stimulating and heated debates with the Jewish Elders. I think Jesus loved being human and interacting with his creation. Do you think the only reason He didn’t want to be crucified was because it was going to hurt?

Of course God wants us to be happy. He created the garden of Eden for that very purpose. He definitely wants us to follow His rules, but He most definitely wants us to be happy and He delights in our joy.

If happiness wasn’t important at all, and went against God’s will for us, you would be sinning every time you bought a good book, went to the movies, got a pedicure, instead of sitting in your room praying and fasting. Of course God wants us to be happy, just not to the detriment of our souls. But there is NOTHING wrong with the persuit of joy and happiness, quite the opposite.

And of course God wants us to be individuals. Why do you think we have different tastes, talents and gifts? If we weren’t individuals, you wouldn’t have doctors, scientists, artists, poets, athletes! Can you IMAGINE if Michelangelo Buonarotti had not been an individual? Can you imagine if he had not left behind the drudgery of everyday Florentine life to pursue his sculpting with fervor and passion? Say goodbye to the Pieta, the Sistine Chapel, and oh yeah, the VATICAN. Haha! Really!

And I have been fruitful, and I have multiplied

 

[Rita77]

youtube.com/watch?v=5mYUSJhN-LI&feature=share

a friend posted this on FB it fits almost perfect with this thread. it gets better just keep watching its worth the 6:40.

 

[Armor_of_Light]

Wow! You’re my hero . Keep up the good work!

Aww…Thanks

My first marriage was I think seriously damaged by this issue, and ABC in general.

I am re-married now…my wife was not catholic when we met, and was fully supportive of ABC. She wasn’t sure if God even existed. She leaned towards pro-abortion. I’ll never forget asking the Holy Spirit for the courage and right words to suggest NFP to her. I did not know ANYTHING about it…just that it really is the ONLY approved option for catholics. By the grace of God…our eyes were opened, her eyes were opened!! She converted and was confirmed 2 years ago, understands the damage that ABC can cause in a marriage and sees abortion for the evil that it is. NFP has brought us SO much closer together. Kid #4 was not ‘planned’, but NFP really works. We totally knew what most likely would happen last September 5th (yes…it works that well) and, well, there y’go. We are open to life and I sure never thought after 2 older boys and a failed marriage that I’d be a father to 2 MORE kids and have a wonderful marriage to boot.

Honestly, I’m sorry that you are getting a bunch of guff from some of the people on here. I’m a little wary of people with like 10 bazillion postings anyways because…well y’know. They are not all PhD’s. Some I think are bitter and unhappy and spend too much time on the internet.

LaSainte… I will continue to pray for you and your family. Especially your husband. NFP really has worked for us. Learn about it and pray and maybe (more than maybe) the Holy Spirit will guide you and your family along and give you the graces and peace of mind necessary to persevere. It CAN happen! Sins and regret are more damaging to the family than kids after all!!

 

[gardenswithkids]

Nothing insulting about it. There is a group mentality here on CAF that bigger families are necessarily better or more full of blessings than smaller ones. Small families are looked on with pity at best and distain at worst for the most part. A family with only 2 kids must either mean the parents were stricken with infertility, had some children who didn’t make it, there is some major illness or crisis preventing them from having more children, or they are simply incredibly selfish.

It never occurs to anyone here that a small family might be a wonderful thing for some people and that not all couples are called to have many children.

One size does not fit all and people’s choices need to be respected, especially when those people are acting in conformity with Church teaching and doing the best they can to live a Christian life.

Sigh. Are we reading the same posts?

I don’t see the distain or pity for small families that you see. I come from a small family with only two children. I’m certainly not saying that “one size fits all” and that size must be large. I respect families of two. I respect that the Church allows the use NFP.

You yourself wrote that you’d like a third child. If you can manage a third child without resorting to sterilization, I’d respect that choice too.

Do we think that large families “more blessed” than small families? Large families are blessed with more children. God bestows other blessings beyond children…yet…children are great blessings. And re-stating the obvious, large families are blessed with more children than smaller families.

You have an eight month old child right now and another young child. Please try to get some rest.

One last thing on a lighter note…besides NFP, shoes and socks are also moral alternatives to avoid being “barefoot and pregnant”.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Thank you for the kind words. To answer your questions, I attend mass weekly, I pray sometimes every day, sometimes a few times a week-it depends. I am with my husband and we are both Catholic, although I am a bigger stickler for the rules. Neither of us believe ABC is wrong, but I will not let us take communion if we are doing something the Chirch says is a mortal sin, so we don’t use ABC to stay in communion. I’ve never actually used NFP. I have been either pregnant or nursing for the past 3.5 years. I’m going to need to start NFP very soon. I never paid attention to my periods, but I don’t think they are that regular.

I also am not really sure about the whole "God won’t go e you more than you can handle thing. I know way too many people who have committed suicide to believe that. I don’t think they were just having a bad day. God expects us to behave in an intelligent manner and to take care of ourselves, follow our instincts, make good decisions. When we don’t, our lives get messed up and our psyche is damaged, sometimes irreparably. It’s not God’s fault, it’s ours. When we use God as a crutch, bad things can happen. We need to be smart about our choices. It’s not a lack of faith, it’s taking responsibility.

Pulling out the wet noodle to hit you with it.

Learn NFP! How can you be afraid and not trust something that you don’t know?

I thought that NFP would not be reliable for me, because I always had very erratic cycles.
I learned Billings on my own. i now do Creighton which I learned with an instructor.

Read about Billings…if you feel that it isn’t enough for you to feel comfortable with you can learn Sympto-thermal, or Creighton or Marquette.

Although all women have various types of cycles, there is a constant truth that is true with all women.

We only ovulate in a 24 hour window of time, ovulation can occur twice (or i guess possibly more than twice in the case of fraternal multiples) but these multiple ovulations tend to occur in a 24 hour time frame. An egg is only viable for about 12-24 hours.

The time before directly before ovulation is the most likely time conception can occur, fertile mucus helps sperm live for about 5 days. Following ovulation conception is not likely, unless intercourse happens shortly following ovulation (hours). If the egg is not fertilized, menstrual bleeding starts about 10-14 days later.

The problems some women have with accuracy with NFP is not being able to recognize symptoms, so poor mucus production, ambiguous mucus patterns, short post ovulatory periods. But these problems can often be treated and addressed.

We’ve practiced NFP for I guess 9 years.

No surprises on when pregnancies occurred.

 

[LaSainte]

Aww…Thanks

My first marriage was I think seriously damaged by this issue, and ABC in general.

I am re-married now…my wife was not catholic when we met, and was fully supportive of ABC. She wasn’t sure if God even existed. She leaned towards pro-abortion. I’ll never forget asking the Holy Spirit for the courage and right words to suggest NFP to her. I did not know ANYTHING about it…just that it really is the ONLY approved option for catholics. By the grace of God…our eyes were opened, her eyes were opened!! She converted and was confirmed 2 years ago, understands the damage that ABC can cause in a marriage and sees abortion for the evil that it is. NFP has brought us SO much closer together. Kid #4 was not ‘planned’, but NFP really works. We totally knew what most likely would happen last September 5th (yes…it works that well) and, well, there y’go. We are open to life and I sure never thought after 2 older boys and a failed marriage that I’d be a father to 2 MORE kids and have a wonderful marriage to boot.

Honestly, I’m sorry that you are getting a bunch of guff from some of the people on here. I’m a little wary of people with like 10 bazillion postings anyways because…well y’know. They are not all PhD’s. Some I think are bitter and unhappy and spend too much time on the internet.

LaSainte… I will continue to pray for you and your family. Especially your husband. NFP really has worked for us. Learn about it and pray and maybe (more than maybe) the Holy Spirit will guide you and your family along and give you the graces and peace of mind necessary to persevere. It CAN happen! Sins and regret are more damaging to the family than kids after all!!

Wonderful post! Congratulations to you on your beautiful family and your wonderful marriage! God is good! Thank you so much for the kind words and believe me, I will be praying and I so appreciate your prayers

 

[LaSainte]

Pulling out the wet noodle to hit you with it.

Learn NFP! How can you be afraid and not trust something that you don’t know?

I thought that NFP would not be reliable for me, because I always had very erratic cycles.
I learned Billings on my own. i now do Creighton which I learned with an instructor.

Read about Billings…if you feel that it isn’t enough for you to feel comfortable with you can learn Sympto-thermal, or Creighton or Marquette.

Although all women have various types of cycles, there is a constant truth that is true with all women.

We only ovulate in a 24 hour window of time, ovulation can occur twice (or i guess possibly more than twice in the case of fraternal multiples) but these multiple ovulations tend to occur in a 24 hour time frame. An egg is only viable for about 12-24 hours.

The time before directly before ovulation is the most likely time conception can occur, fertile mucus helps sperm live for about 5 days. Following ovulation conception is not likely, unless intercourse happens shortly following ovulation (hours). If the egg is not fertilized, menstrual bleeding starts about 10-14 days later.

The problems some women have with accuracy with NFP is not being able to recognize symptoms, so poor mucus production, ambiguous mucus patterns, short post ovulatory periods. But these problems can often be treated and addressed.

We’ve practiced NFP for I guess 9 years.

No surprises on when pregnancies occurred.

Thanks MaryGail! We are going to try Marquette. A friend gave us the monitor to help us GET pregnant, and you can see what happened there, haha! Here’s hoping it works the other way around. Expensive, but hopefully I will get more peace of mind with the machine rhan if I just had to trust my own observations. I don’t really have time to take classes or anything unfortunately, so I will be going pretty much entirely based on the machine and not on the other signs-yikes!

By the way, you have always been very kind to me even when we have disagreed and I appreciate it immensely. You are a wonderful example of a kind Catholic woman and I would be willing to bet you have brought more than one soul to God.