If her dad owns a shotgun

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BadTurkey said:
Wow, dude would rather get shot than marry this girl? That’s gotta be pretty bad for the girl’s self-confidence.
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Uh she really didnt care about self confidence, it was not like it is here & now, she was concerned about the shame she carried and her own vanity of ruining the perfect family structure that continued down the family line, the shame would have been the same in a shotgun wedding. Naughty, naughty, naughty.
 
revert_jen said:
Assuming that he has never threatened you with the guns, or showed them to you in a meaningful fashion (e.g. “I’m a really good shot with these, and I think the world of my daughter.”) or anything like that, the answer is: Man up.

OTOH, if he threatened you in any way, I’d talk to the girl about it and find out more about what he is like, and drop her like a hot potato if she condones violence.

It would seem to be more to the point to find out whether he is from a part of the country (AFAIK, most of it) where gun ownership is common or is from a military/law enforcement family. Or maybe he just did 4 years in one of the services to put himself through school. Or maybe he just enjoys skeet shooting or hunting or target practice or whatever. Why shouldn’t he own a gun, if he’s not threatening anyone or doing anything illegal with it? **He probably has weed killer, too, but nobody seems to be worried that he’ll poison anyone.
**
All this is assuming you are in the US where gun ownership is commonplace. If you are somewhere else where it is probable that the guns he owns are illegal, it may be an issue. But probably not.

–Jen
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I never knew until now that you could poison someone this way.
 
Let it be said I don’t condone murder or violence. It comes down to honoring, and fearing the Father. If you do both you won’t do anything that might provoke punishment. You know what I mean?
 
OLHope said:
I never knew until now that you could poison someone this way.
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Lots of weed-killers are poisonous. You could put some in someone’s food and poison them. It was just another example of something that many people own that could be misused to kill someone.

–Jen
 
Let me ask a different question. If she’s from a military family, meaning that one or both of her parents are on active duty in the military, what are some of the things that I should know, if I were to date their daughter? What if one of her parents turns out to be a general/admiral or something?
 
OLHope said:
Well this coincides with the first couple lines in post 10, 2nd paragraph. My mother had a father just like this. If a man liked my mother and she did not like them in the same way, she would always use her father with the shotgun story to ward them off in fear.
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I spent of a lot of my childhood living on my uncle’s small farm. If the animals were killed, they wouldn’t be able to pay the bills. We were taught that guns aren’t toys. Remember when I was 13, I saw a coyote going after one of the cows and her calves. If I hadn’t thought to shoot the coyote, they would have lost several animals worth thousands of dollars.
In my personal life, I prefer to use kickboxing in self defense (which has saved my life several times).
 
A relationship does not need fear, it needs discipline and rationale as to whay not to do something over something else. I mean you dont just marry anybody, you find a person compatible to you as best as possible. Id rather find a gentleman with a great teaching father like Jesus or St Joseph than a man who believes that threats are the only way to put someone in their place.
 
CountrySinger said:
I spent of a lot of my childhood living on my uncle’s small farm. If the animals were killed, they wouldn’t be able to pay the bills. We were taught that guns aren’t toys. Remember when I was 13, I saw a coyote going after one of the cows and her calves. If I hadn’t thought to shoot the coyote, they would have lost several animals worth thousands of dollars.
In my personal life, I prefer to use kickboxing in self defense (which has saved my life several times).
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It sounds there was very detailed teaching in your home as to what they are used for and why you need to use it. I cant really dispute the necessity for daily life or self defense, kudos to your kickboxing! Great to have life saving skills!
 
BadTurkey said:
If her dad owns a shotgun (or shotguns), should I be concerned? Obviously, I’m not from parts of the country where gun ownership is fairly commonplace or from a military/law enforcement family. I don’t intend to do anything that would trigger the use of said shotguns, either. But still, it does kind of concern me. Am I justified in having these concerns, or should I just suck it up and be a man?
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How did you come to know that dad owns a shotgun?
 
Is this a serious concern? You’re essentially asking if someone who legally owns a shotgun is likely to commit a violent crime against you (murder you???) :confused:

Unless the man is unstable, a criminal, or has given you cause to be afraid there is no reason to be concerned. Unless you plan to do something horrible to his daughter (like rape, or murder) it’s extremely unlikely that an otherwise normal person is going to try to shoot you.
 
BadTurkey said:
Let me ask a different question. If she’s from a military family, meaning that one or both of her parents are on active duty in the military, what are some of the things that I should know, if I were to date their daughter? What if one of her parents turns out to be a general/admiral or something?
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I think like others said, if there was no direct threat to you, even in a joking way that some in laws do then, you have to understand that people in military and law enforcement are authorized to carry and must carry weaponry for defensive and safety purposes. Try to get in tune with your intuition with this family. Maybe bring up political scenarios just to grasp what you can gather about what they think about those situations and compare them to your own opinions.

FYI, generals and admirals tend to be very conservative, but some are gung ho when it comes to protection and guns, not that they are bad, but so much of their training and work life revolve on protection they do for us. Some might have PTSD from assignments they have taken, some may have killed someone in the line of duty, and that is very difficult to live with for the rest of your life, but not something that you should base marrying their daughter on. You really have to think critically about this. It involves life or death.

Can I ask what their stance with gun control is at this point?
 
OLHope said:
I think like others said, if there was no direct threat to you, even in a joking way that some in laws do then, you have to understand that people in military and law enforcement are authorized to carry and must carry weaponry for defensive and safety purposes. Try to get in tune with your intuition with this family. Maybe bring up political scenarios just to grasp what you can gather about what they think about those situations and compare them to your own opinions.

FYI, generals and admirals tend to be very conservative, but some are gung ho when it comes to protection and guns, not that they are bad, but so much of their training and work life revolve on protection they do for us. Some might have PTSD from assignments they have taken, some may have killed someone in the line of duty, and that is very difficult to live with for the rest of your life, but not something that you should base marrying their daughter on. You really have to think critically about this. It involves life or death.

Can I ask what their stance with gun control is at this point?
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I’m OK with generals/admirals being conservative and everything, and I respect that. The girl herself seems to be open-minded and very nice. I believe she did move around a lot growing up, because of the military. I’m not really concerned about her parents at this point - it’s way, way too early for that - but I would like to know if there’s anything about her that I need to know, because of her military family background.

I should probably also clarify that these are two different girls.
 
I personally know very few people who do not own guns, and (surprise, surprise) I also don’t know anybody who has ever found it necessary to use one on his/her daughter’s date!
 
BadTurkey said:
Let me ask a different question. If she’s from a military family, meaning that one or both of her parents are on active duty in the military, what are some of the things that I should know, if I were to date their daughter? What if one of her parents turns out to be a general/admiral or something?
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The rule that I think you’re referring to doesn’t apply to you, it applies to them as military personnel…that whole fraternizing thing… she’s their daugther and the fact that they own a gun or guns shouldn’t bother you in the slightest. I agree w/what everyone else is saying in that respect. The bottom line is that guns are not the problem. People who misuse or disrespect them are the problem. 😉
 
BadTurkey said:
I’m OK with generals/admirals being conservative and everything, and I respect that. The girl herself seems to be open-minded and very nice. I believe she did move around a lot growing up, because of the military. I’m not really concerned about her parents at this point - it’s way, way too early for that - but I would like to know if there’s anything about her that I need to know, because of her military family background.

I should probably also clarify that these are two different girls.
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The only thing I have seen as a problem in any person I have met with a military family background, … is stability issues. Primarily because they move around so much and there is no place they consider home and no place they can really say they are from. There is this need to conform to the new places ways of doing things and as soon as they learn it, their parents pick them up and make them find a new home and new people where they have to do it all over again.

Funny you say this, because I gave shelter just recently to a person who was with a Catholic congregation and was raised in a military family, but the more I spoke with her, the more I realized that this person was homeless. She was in high denial that she couldnt take care of herself in her mid 40’s, but thought if she could just find some man who would be willing to marry her and do everything, that that would be a fair trade. Her parents split, she obviously abused drugs and alcohol. Never mentioned she had kids, of which she had two. Doesnt really seem catholic, just seems to be a manipulator who is sponging off the church and the members.

Another pair of military family girls I know picked up and left all the time, the parents divorced, the girls were ardent alcoholics and drug abusers, as sisters, they detest each other.

I’m very confused about what you are asking. If you are not concerned about the father and the gun issue, why are you asking this question? Who are these two different girls? Can you offer a synopsis of them and what you know of their background with guns specifically that concerns you?
 
OLHope said:
The only thing I have seen as a problem in any person I have met with a military family background, … is stability issues. Primarily because they move around so much and there is no place they consider home and no place they can really say they are from. There is this need to conform to the new places ways of doing things and as soon as they learn it, their parents pick them up and make them find a new home and new people where they have to do it all over again.

Funny you say this, because I gave shelter just recently to a person who was with a Catholic congregation and was raised in a military family, but the more I spoke with her, the more I realized that this person was homeless. She was in high denial that she couldnt take care of herself in her mid 40’s, but thought if she could just find some man who would be willing to marry her and do everything, that that would be a fair trade. Her parents split, she obviously abused drugs and alcohol. Never mentioned she had kids, of which she had two. Doesnt really seem catholic, just seems to be a manipulator who is sponging off the church and the members.

Another pair of military family girls I know picked up and left all the time, the parents divorced, the girls were ardent alcoholics and drug abusers, as sisters, they detest each other.

I’m very confused about what you are asking. If you are not concerned about the father and the gun issue, why are you asking this question? Who are these two different girls? Can you offer a synopsis of them and what you know of their background with guns specifically that concerns you?
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Not sure if I can go into much more detail without giving away too much, in case they read these forums, too. It’s very interesting what you brought up about your experience with children of military families. This particular girl seems to be pretty balanced, and her parents seem to be on good terms, which is a big plus, although I can see hints of where there might be some friction, because of the instability, but I guess that’s understandable. With this girl, I don’t see guns as that big of an issue. I just want to be sensitive to her military family background.
 
Honestly you’re freaked out over NOTHING. Right now I’m home visiting my parents and there’s a (locked) gun rack with 5 rifles and a couple co2 bb guns in the drawer below. I think nothing of it, and my dad’s not even military. (He hunts deer…a nice side of venison is not only tasty but saves $$)

If her dad is in the military…ask what dang rank he is and if you’re not sure what that means look it up. But remember even a private is NEVER “just” a private.

I grew up near a military town towards the end of the cold war. EVERYONE who was in the military carried a gun both on and off base. It was a given. :rolleyes:

I think many tragidies could be avoided if people certified to carry a gun, and we clearly defined groups in need of protection. Why is it in America these days only bad guys have guns?
 
purplesunshine said:
Honestly you’re freaked out over NOTHING. Right now I’m home visiting my parents and there’s a (locked) gun rack with 5 rifles and a couple co2 bb guns in the drawer below. I think nothing of it, and my dad’s not even military. (He hunts deer…a nice side of venison is not only tasty but saves $$)

If her dad is in the military…ask what dang rank he is and if you’re not sure what that means look it up. But remember even a private is NEVER “just” a private.

I grew up near a military town towards the end of the cold war. EVERYONE who was in the military carried a gun both on and off base. It was a given. :rolleyes:

I think many tragidies could be avoided if people certified to carry a gun, and we clearly defined groups in need of protection. Why is it in America these days only bad guys have guns?
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Have I told you lately that I love you? 😉

Yes, yes, yes. Read the book, “More guns, less crime” by John Lott.
 
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