If her dad owns a shotgun

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BadTurkey said:
Not sure if I can go into much more detail without giving away too much, in case they read these forums, too. It’s very interesting what you brought up about your experience with children of military families. This particular girl seems to be pretty balanced, and her parents seem to be on good terms, which is a big plus, although I can see hints of where there might be some friction, because of the instability, but I guess that’s understandable. With this girl, I don’t see guns as that big of an issue. I just want to be sensitive to her military family background.
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I completely understand. It’s just hard to answer without a little more info. Just keep talking with her and them. Like bring up situations on the news and internet papers and gather an idea of what she or they think of them in conversation. I gather there is no way of explaining what her sensitivities about the military is on here without getting specific either. Whatever the case, seems like you are in early stages…, talk, talk, talk, talk!
 
I think gun control is a very big and great topic to talk about while dating or courting because it is a very passionate issue for many people.

A story of old dating colleagues I knew who were engaged:

She converted into a Catholic because she believed that a good solid faith base was a stable and grounded way to bring up children. Her fiance` was the only religious Catholic I ever met in my town, great guy! He DID have a very classic case of old WWii weponry that included guns that his Polish grandfather gave to him in his will. Well she ordered him to get rid of the guns or she would break off the marriage because she did not want the kids that they could have together exposed to guns.

I definitely thought she was wrong in this predicament because for the 3 years of dating/courting she knew he had that collection and they are just for show, not for use. She should have slipped out of the relationship from the beginning. These issues can go to an extreme, best you know beforehand.
 
An armed society is a polite society. Check this out.

My wife qualified with a perfect score before she got out of the Army (that’s 40 out of 40, with 4 at 300 meters). I am grateful that my wife knows how to defend herself, and all fathers should love their daughters enough to defend their honor. My FIL would, and has never had to, and I have three daughters whose future boyfriends will have to survive my gauntlet.
 
OLHope said:
Really guys, how attractive can a woman be if she says that my father will shoot you or she herself can shoot you dead every time you make a foul up or offend her. Come on, are all of you prone to letting bullys win? Then you will always be controlled in the relationship. You’re not doormats.
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It tells me that her family values her virtue and safety. That’s not bullying or control, that’s protection, which is a traditional role of a father or other able-bodied male family member. It shows that the family looks out for one another (whether it is wih a Ruger or a roundhouse).

(Waits as OLHope begs her dad to buy a shotgun “There’s a guy on the NW side who is attracted to women whose fathers are protective and have shotguns!!”)
 
BadTurkey said:
If her dad owns a shotgun (or shotguns), should I be concerned? Obviously, I’m not from parts of the country where gun ownership is fairly commonplace or from a military/law enforcement family. I don’t intend to do anything that would trigger the use of said shotguns, either. But still, it does kind of concern me. Am I justified in having these concerns, or should I just suck it up and be a man?
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Another question: how old are you and the girl whose dad you are worried about?

Have you ever fired a weapon of any kind?

Maybe taking an NRA safety course and occasionally hitting the range (and I don’t mean punching the stove) might actually endear you to the father. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to learn how to handle and respect a weapon.
 
Norseman82 said:
It tells me that her family values her virtue and safety. That’s not bullying or control, that’s protection, which is a traditional role of a father or other able-bodied male family member. It shows that the family looks out for one another (whether it is wih a Ruger or a roundhouse).

(Waits as OLHope begs her dad to buy a shotgun “There’s a guy on the NW side who is attracted to women whose fathers are protective and have shotguns!!”)
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I respectfully disagree, I dont know what a ruger or roundhouse is…, my father past on from complications due to smoking…, the only time I saw him with a shotgun, I saw him place on top of some high furniture with a brown bag, and I was a little girl and had very big brown eyes, as I knew what that was and I couldn’t believe he brought that in our house with little children.

Sorry, some things aren’t meant to be.
 
CountrySinger said:
And no messes with a woman who can hit her target while half awake. 🙂
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Wouldn’t blink an eye. 😉
OLHope said:
Really guys, how attractive can a woman be if she says that my father will shoot you or she herself can shoot you dead every time you make a foul up or offend her. Come on, are all of you prone to letting bullys win? Then you will always be controlled in the relationship. You’re not doormats.
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Yup.
 
Bad Turkey,

Seems like this song may have been written just for you

youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVY

BTW, your screenname “Bad Turkey” would not inspire a lot of confidence in the Dad (or Mom) if they were to learn of it:D
 
ahollars said:
An armed society is a polite society. Check this out.

My wife qualified with a perfect score before she got out of the Army (that’s 40 out of 40, with 4 at 300 meters). I am grateful that my wife knows how to defend herself, and all fathers should love their daughters enough to defend their honor. My FIL would, and has never had to, and I have three daughters whose future boyfriends will have to survive my gauntlet.
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I agree with the sentiment, but while we have the right to defend ourselves and other people and even property, we don’t have the right to avenge our injuries outside the justice system.
 
When I was a young middle-schooler/high-schooler and would get unwanted attention from the male species, I would just “happen” to mention my dad’s service in Vietnam, his 20 years as a police officer, his current employment in the Postal Service and the fact that Charleston Heston was a personal hero of his and of his membership in the NRA. I never had a problem out of that guy again. What’s really funny, while that is all (the Vietnam, former police officer, NRA member and current Postal employee) true, you couldn’t find a nicer guy. Just don’t mess with his family, and especially don’t mess with his little girl, and all will be well. I know he would never use his weapons for no good reason. I also know how good of a shot he is, and I know that you never want to give him a good reason.
 
Not giving out specifics, although I can’t remember the country they they all ended up in. Why, have you heard of a similar story?
 
It did happen 50 years ago, and it is a very tight knit community, so something like this was sure to shame the whole family. Now-a-days, it is not too uncommon, I doubt it would have happened today.
 
chevalier said:
I agree with the sentiment, but while we have the right to defend ourselves and other people and even property, we don’t have the right to avenge our injuries outside the justice system.
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*Agreed.

I find the double standard interesting. My kids tell me how aggressive girls are these days (sexually), and yet, we feel the need to shield our girls from all the men in the world. Whenever we hear of a couple who isn’t married, having sex we ASSUME that the boy pressured the girl, trust me…MANY girls these days, teens and on up, are quite the aggressors. They just use different tactics, than men. I suppose men could fight them off, but it’s silly to think that every guy that comes to date my daughter is going to use her, and my dh and I need to be suspicious. I have a son, who is 17, a virgin, and he is a pretty nice looking kid and responsible. I don’t want just ‘‘any’’ girl having her way, either. :cool: I’m Italian too, so bring it on. 😃 I have very high standards for both* of my kids, not just for my daughter…I’m just as protective of my son as I am my daughter, albeit there will be different situations that they will find themselves in someday.

Just my two cents on this.
 
But of course, girls can be pretty voracious these days and they expect to get it. Doesn’t mean the boys are all that, they can be anything from eager to abusive. I suppose blame stereotypes go both ways, some people blaming the woman and letting the man off the hook, others blaming the man no matter what the woman did to bring it about. Probably depends on who’s your relative and who’s not. 😛
 
*I’m just saying that we don’t live in the 1800’s, where men are the sole aggressors in relationships…Of course, I’m not speaking of abusive men, that’s a whole other thread. I just know that all girls are not innocent these days. :o Not anymore. Many are, but many are not. And we as moms and dads of sons, need to have our eyes out for our sons, too…just like we do for our daughters.

I won’t get a shotgun though. 😃 *
 
My dad owned a shotgun when I was growing up. He taught us how to handle guns, treat them with respect, and to never aim one–even unloaded in its case–at a human being. I remember him showing my brother and me the damage guns can do by shooting soup cans in an open field. He showed us how those cans were ripped to smithereens and made sure we were aware that shooting another person would kill them instantly. I have a healthy fear of guns (and an understanding of how to use them) and my brother is a safe and conscientious hunter.

Dad used to joke about cleaning guns when boys would pick me up for a date, but he never actually did it (though he was cleaning knives when my date came for Snowball–but that was purely a coincidence!)

Anyway, I think you should ask the girl you’re dating about her dad’s interest in guns, and maybe even ask him (in the presence of your girlfriend if you’re still nervous!) to teach you a bit about his guns. This would alleviate your fear and give you a chance to talk to him about something “man to man,” which I think he would respect. (Shooting clay pigeons is a “gentleman’s sport,” for the record–if that’s what he does, I recommend you ask if he could teach you sometime!)
 
BadTurkey said:
If her dad owns a shotgun (or shotguns), should I be concerned? Obviously, I’m not from parts of the country where gun ownership is fairly commonplace or from a military/law enforcement family. I don’t intend to do anything that would trigger the use of said shotguns, either. But still, it does kind of concern me. Am I justified in having these concerns, or should I just suck it up and be a man?
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So basically, you are concerned that her dad is exercising his constitutional rights in our country?

Tell us how you feel if he exercised his right to free speech or assembly? Would you have a problem with that too?

“But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.” Luke 22:36
 
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