Ill Neighbor Keeps ringing my bell for money

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She rang the doorbell and asked for cigarettes?! I would move the trailer to another part of the park.
 
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I believe in the same philosophy however for us 20 is ALOT, especially every few days. Impossible. But I understand what you’re saying , we cannot offer that kind of charity without it harming our family by taking away food from us.
 
Take your cell phone to the door with you. Explain that you and your family sympathize with her plight. Hand her the numbers of help agencies. Be kind. Explain that while you understand that she isn’t doing this out of meanness, she is harassing you and your family. Explain that you are now and for the future, recording these encounters to build a case against her to obtain a peace warrant against her. Explain that she no longer has permission to come onto your property, or to knock you your door as this is harassment.

If she says she does not understand, calmly explain it one more time and then close the door. After another recorded attempt, go to the courts and get the warrant, tell her you will be doing this, and does she understand.

From that point on, record each attempt, and simply tell her you are calling the police. You can tell her each time or one time, that you are praying for her. This will work, if you follow through.

PS: You really need to get a peephole installed. It is a safety issue.
 
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Thank you for this, should I just ask her to stop? My husband said the way she appears she might forget we asked her too and ring again! I appreciate the information on the bells and will look into it.
 
I’m so sorry for your situation. Thank you for sharing with me. Oh gosh I hope your situation improves. I dout want to crate waves wit sone one who may be a danger so i guess ill have to keep answeeing the door and saying no. I actually can view a bit through a certain window so I’ll do that and if it’s her I guess just sit there and wait for her to go away while she rings the bell like crazy. God bless you
 
My goodness I just want to day thank you to everyone here. You are all a blessing and I pray so much you all receive the same.
 
I don’t see any un Christian advice. The person asking the question is a wife with kids. Her first obligation is to her own family and particularly to protect her kids. People bumming for money and smokes are people you need to be wary of.
 
Thank you so much. I could look through a certain window but if I see it’s her and ignore it she’ll constantly ring the bell and quite honestly that would grate my nerves so I don’t know if it’s better to see its her, say no, just so I don’t have to hear the bell ring constantly. Thank you so much for your post.
 
Installing a peephole and putting a chain on your door are inexpensive and will make you feel safer. I never open my door without the chain on it. You can still have conversations with people that way and keep yourself and your loved ones safe.

Do NOT give her money. My priest advised giving to charities (like Catholic Charities) that help a number of people. Make a list of resources she can turn to for help. Give that to her and remain firm that she will not get money out of you and your family. If she truly needs help, she will be thankful for the list of resources she can turn to.
 
Pope Francis is welcome to have his opinion. He also comes from a place with a VERY different socio economic situation. South America has areas of true poverty, where beggars are begging to stay alive. Pope Francis’ views are formed by his life in South America.

The interesting thing is Jesus walked the earth in a time and place where there were true beggars. People who would starve if not for the largess of others. Jesus gave us a parable that that helps us know how to respond to these situations.

Sit down and read the parable of the Good Samaritan. Notice that the Good Samaritan does not hand the other man a bag of coins. The Good Samaritan helps the man get to a facility where they can care for him and treat his wounds. The GS gives a donation to that facility and says “let me know if you need another donation”.

Even small towns have charities or with the internet those in outlying places can be in contact with places where trained folks can treat and care for those in need.

In the USA and Canada (and some European countries), there are people who have less, people who struggle, but we do not have true beggars. We have panhandlers who may be non-compliant with their mental illness treatment, are addicts or criminals or some combo of the three. There is a safety net provided by federal, state programs + local non-profits/charitable outreaches.

For someone who is vulnerable, particularly with children in the home, it is important to model Christ like behavior with prudence. Don’t slam the door, ask what is the specific need. Does she work or is she unemployed? Single or does she have a partner/kids? Tell her you will find someplace that can help her and to come back on Tuesday. Then, give her a list of the agencies. Offer to call and pay for a cab to take her to that facility if you can. Give her a sandwich if you feel she is hungry, heck, have a bag of non perishable food for her and some cookies and maybe some necessities like toilet paper or maxi pads. Thing is, you do not know for sure that she is not “casing the place”, so, be prudent for the sake of your kids while being a Good Samaritain. There are ways to help those who want to be helped.

If she does not want the help from people who are trained to help, then, tell her that is all you can do or tell her you will give her food and a go cup of coffee, sit on the porch and drink it with her.

You can be wise, be truly generous while not enabling.
 
That’s obvious. Either the discussion will help improve her or she will not want further discussion. You’re looking for problems instead of solving them. Also, generalizations help people move forward. Yes, of course some adults don’t earn their own money. They normally should be earning their own money. That’s the reality.
 
All good information. Actually, great information! Just because I would give her money doesn’t mean anyone else should. And I had a difficult time with Pope Francis’ advice (to give without knowing what would happen with it) but once I pondered on it for a few weeks I really started to like it and I try to practice it in my life. But I agree, if you don’t have the money, you don’t have it. And you do need to protect your family. I guess the beginning, knowing the person is ill, made a huge difference to me.
 
Thank you, a blessing to read. All of you, thank you. My husband said ask her her name and THEN address her by her name to kindly not ring our bell any longer. If after she does it again, ugh I hate to be firm because it makes me feel bad, then I will tell her something like “I’ve asked you before…you are harrassing,I will take photo…police” Something like that. My husband does not want me engaging in talk with her (I told him about some advice here and he appreciates it highly but doesn’t want me conversing he just wants cut and dry, no and go).
 
I definitely think be firm with the person. Personally I wouldn’t mention the police or photos. I think that can unnecessarily escalate things as it is perceived as a threat because it is. You don’t have to mention you will call the police to call the police. Simply telling the person not to be on your property is all you need to do and you certainly can call the police any time.
 
@momof2angells Love with discernment as in 9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,
 
Thanks again, I really appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut. So after I tell her not to come back and she does anyway, just keep repeating not to come back? I too was thinking the police and photos would be a last resort God forbid it escalates to an every other day occurance. Already it’s been about 8 times in the 5 months we’ve lived there I think but my memory is not so great.
 
I’d tell her once not to come back. If she does again I’d call the police because she is trespassing. I’d take photos to have as proof. Realistically probably nothing will happen when the police come other than they talk to her. But that should make things clear. If she persists after that then you just keep calling the police.
 
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