Importance of looking 'nice' for your spouse

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I’d like to comment on the women and men of ‘yester-year.’ I remember my dad always wearing chino pants and dress shoes…even if we were just going to the grocery store (this was back in the 70’s) My mom always had a pretty dress on, or a house coat when cleaning…or wore ‘slacks’ as she called them, kind of like Kathryn Hepburn dressed. Men used to wear suits on dates back in the 30’s and 40’s…and always brought women flowers that they were courting. I can’t imagine my husband putting a suit on to go to Chili’s or something. LOL!😃

Times have changed!!!
 
whatevergirl said:
I’d like to comment on the women and men of ‘yester-year.’ I remember my dad always wearing chino pants and dress shoes…even if we were just going to the grocery store (this was back in the 70’s) My mom always had a pretty dress on, or a house coat when cleaning…or wore ‘slacks’ as she called them, kind of like Kathryn Hepburn dressed. Men used to wear suits on dates back in the 30’s and 40’s…and always brought women flowers that they were courting. I can’t imagine my husband putting a suit on to go to Chili’s or something. LOL!😃

Times have changed!!!
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My parents usually dress like that on weekends: Dad in collared shirts, chinos, and nice leather shoes, Mom in tailored slacks and blazers, again with nice shoes. They look very classy. When we go out for dinner with them I almost have to bully DH into his chinos so he doesn’t look too scruffy. :rolleyes:
 
SeekerJen said:
My parents usually dress like that on weekends: Dad in collared shirts, chinos, and nice leather shoes, Mom in tailored slacks and blazers, again with nice shoes. They look very classy. When we go out for dinner with them I almost have to bully DH into his chinos so he doesn’t look too scruffy. :rolleyes:
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hee hee Aw! That is soooo sweet! :o :o :o

Now, my husband and I dress up for church…like in work-type clothes. My husband will sometimes wear a suit. But, it would be interesting to see him wearing a shirt and tie to the grocery store…just because.
 
whatevergirl said:
hee hee Aw! That is soooo sweet! :o :o :o

Now, my husband and I dress up for church…like in work-type clothes. My husband will sometimes wear a suit. But, it would be interesting to see him wearing a shirt and tie to the grocery store…just because.
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How do you feel about men wearing suits when going to the Baseball Stadium? They used to do that too.
 
whatevergirl said:
Hmmm…depends on the weather. A really hot day could prove to be very stinky.:o
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Hot or humid. DH and I went to a Tigers game with my coworkers last summer, and although it wasn’t even 80 degrees, the humidity was at about 95% and we were all drenched. I cannot imagine wearing a three-piece suit or a dress and nylons in that weather. Give me shorts and a T-shirt!
 
SeekerJen said:
Hot or humid. DH and I went to a Tigers game with my coworkers last summer, and although it wasn’t even 80 degrees, the humidity was at about 95% and we were all drenched. I cannot imagine wearing a three-piece suit or a dress and nylons in that weather. Give me shorts and a T-shirt!
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I hear ya! LOL

ew, nylons in the heat??? Can you think of anything worse?:o
 
SeekerJen said:
Maybe corsets. It would be a close call, though. I can’t stand nylons even in cold weather.
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corsets:p ha! ok…that would be pretty awful in hot weather. What is neat about other cultures, is that they dress up quite often with no apparent ‘reason.’ We had good friends in PA that we would have bbq’s now and again, who were Indian, and they were always dressed up. We always felt under-dressed.😊
 
TxIrishCatholic said:
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I think a great deal of love in a relationship is lost when you wake up after 10 years of marriage, and realize that your wife’s pants are larger than yours.
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A great deal of love is lost because of your wife’s appearance?:eek: If you love someone less because of the way they look that is not love at all, that is infatuation.

(I had a much longer post but decided not to post it because I couldn’t find a way to be charitable.)
 
whatevergirl said:
aw, that’s sweet.🙂

We should bring back those days…you know? Men and women wanted to dress up for one another…even if they were going bowling!😃
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I love to feel comfortable, and for now I’m working on the house—moving furniture, rearranging stuff, so at home I look like a total hobo.

But for a while now it’s been bothering me the way people dress to attend Mass—like they fished something out of the bottom of their hamper and threw it on.

We decided the only thing we could do was set an example, so we set aside part of the closet for “Sunday Best,” and this is what we wear to Mass, even if we peel it off the second we get home. 😃
 
Lol, maybe it’s living in the city or my Italian kicking in, but I love looking nice! I feel so naked without accessories! I’ve definitely gotten to the point where I want to dress nice every day. Jeans and a T-shirt just won’t cut it for me anymore!
 
SeekerJen said:
Either that, or she’ll see the overly made-up, scantily clad skinny women and feel worse about herself. I’m of slender/average build and am a healthy weight for my height, but put me in a room of tall, anorexically-thin blondes with good tans and good makeup for an hour and I’m on a diet almost immediately. I know that looks-wise, there is no way that I can even hope to compete with those women. I’m too short, too curvy, too brunette. Putting myself in an atmosphere where I would feel compelled to compete with them for my husband’s attention would be a sure-fire way to make me feel even worse.

I like the idea of date night being a physical activity, but not so she can compare herself to the other women and come up lacking.
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Well, not exactly “compare herself”, however, what I was getting at was MOTIVATION. We are all unique. I am sure it can backfire and turn out to be disastrous, however, she will either do something about making her health better or just accept herself. Either one or the other should make her happy. If she is already happy then nothing else matters.😃
 
SeekerJen said:
Either that, or she’ll see the overly made-up, scantily clad skinny women and feel worse about herself. I’m of slender/average build and am a healthy weight for my height, but put me in a room of tall, anorexically-thin blondes with good tans and good makeup for an hour and I’m on a diet almost immediately. I know that looks-wise, there is no way that I can even hope to compete with those women. I’m too short, too curvy, too brunette. Putting myself in an atmosphere where I would feel compelled to compete with them for my husband’s attention would be a sure-fire way to make me feel even worse.

I like the idea of date night being a physical activity, but not so she can compare herself to the other women and come up lacking.
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Have you been to a club in recent years? The women at them come in all shapes and sizes. I also wasn’t just talking about techno dance clubs, but ballrooms that have dances, jazz clubs, blues clubs, Latino clubs, piano bars, etc. I personally have been to all different types of clubs. The typical college bar clubs may have more thin women, but go to a Latino club and there are more than enough curvy women. Ballrooms have women of all sizes and ages, same with jazz clubs and piano bars. And it isn’t about going out and comparing one’s self to others, but going out, feeling the beat, and having fun dancing with one’s spouse.
 
gmarie21 said:
Have you been to a club in recent years? The women at them come in all shapes and sizes. I also wasn’t just talking about techno dance clubs, but ballrooms that have dances, jazz clubs, blues clubs, Latino clubs, piano bars, etc. I personally have been to all different types of clubs. The typical college bar clubs may have more thin women, but go to a Latino club and there are more than enough curvy women. Ballrooms have women of all sizes and ages, same with jazz clubs and piano bars. And it isn’t about going out and comparing one’s self to others, but going out, feeling the beat, and having fun dancing with one’s spouse.
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Jen–I couldn’t find this post. For one thing…what do you mean…you feel 'too brunette?" I dated plenty before I got married…a wide range of men…who thought I was beautiful…as a brunette. I guess I didn’t understand that comment…‘too brunette.’

My husband has always told me…doesn’t matter a woman’s haircolor, if she is beautiful…inside and out. My husband thinks Catherine Zeta Jones is far more beautiful than Pamela Lee any day…and in part, Zeta-Jones’ class is what lends to her beauty. So she appears even more stunning than just face value. Just because someone has blond hair, doesn’t mean they will be more stunning than a brunette or red hed. Ever watch the Bachelor? The guys lately have been choosing more brunettes, than blonds…just an observation.😉 But that being said…I think it’s an individual thing. I know that my husband found me attractive to kick off our dating…I found him attractive…but, what has kept us together has nothing to do with looks, when we all get right down to it.:o

Just wanted to interject…because I saw that comment from you Jen…and was like…what? Are we brunettes ugly or something?😦 I always tend to agree with your posts, too) 😃
 
whatevergirl said:
Jen–I couldn’t find this post. For one thing…what do you mean…you feel 'too brunette?" I dated plenty before I got married…a wide range of men…who thought I was beautiful…as a brunette. I guess I didn’t understand that comment…‘too brunette.’

My husband has always told me…doesn’t matter a woman’s haircolor, if she is beautiful…inside and out. My husband thinks Catherine Zeta Jones is far more beautiful than Pamela Lee any day…and in part, Zeta-Jones’ class is what lends to her beauty. So she appears even more stunning than just face value. Just because someone has blond hair, doesn’t mean they will be more stunning than a brunette or red hed. Ever watch the Bachelor? The guys lately have been choosing more brunettes, than blonds…just an observation.😉 But that being said…I think it’s an individual thing. I know that my husband found me attractive to kick off our dating…I found him attractive…but, what has kept us together has nothing to do with looks, when we all get right down to it.:o

Just wanted to interject…because I saw that comment from you Jen…and was like…what? Are we brunettes ugly or something?😦 I always tend to agree with your posts, too) 😃
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The issues with haircolor I think stem from childhood, where a bratty little blond girl, popular and from a wealthy family, used to taunt and bully me and tell me that if I had blond hair I could be pretty like her. Being in a college sorority for a while didn’t help. There’s definitely a “blond” culture there. I know my husband chose me and that he likes brunettes, my mom’s a brunette, and interestingly, all of the guys in my lab are married to brunettes. We’re not ugly. However, the cultural conditioning is difficult to overcome, especially when it seems most of Hollywood is blond and anorexic. Put me next to a tall, thin blond, and I feel like I don’t even exist. (I’m also speaking from the perspective of someone who cannot have a bathroom scale in the house, else I will be on it at least three times per day. I have had serious body issues in the past, which is why I’m sensitive to this topic.)

And no, gmarie21, I haven’t been clubbing in a long time. DH doesn’t like dancing so there’s no point. 🤷
 
SeekerJen said:
The issues with haircolor I think stem from childhood, where a bratty little blond girl, popular and from a wealthy family, used to taunt and bully me and tell me that if I had blond hair I could be pretty like her. Being in a college sorority for a while didn’t help. There’s definitely a “blond” culture there. I know my husband chose me and that he likes brunettes, my mom’s a brunette, and interestingly, all of the guys in my lab are married to brunettes. We’re not ugly. However, the cultural conditioning is difficult to overcome, especially when it seems most of Hollywood is blond and anorexic. Put me next to a tall, thin blond, and I feel like I don’t even exist. (I’m also speaking from the perspective of someone who cannot have a bathroom scale in the house, else I will be on it at least three times per day. I have had serious body issues in the past, which is why I’m sensitive to this topic.)

And no, gmarie21, I haven’t been clubbing in a long time. DH doesn’t like dancing so there’s no point. 🤷
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aw, I’m sorry to hear that, Jen. :hug1:
 
Yeah, my mom had issues when she was young about being brunette. All the girls in her class were blonde and petite while my mom was tall and dark haired. She hated it.

My hair’s darker than my mom’s was, due to my Italian ancestry (my dad’s Italian) and I’ve always seen it as a source of pride. My favorite Disney princess growing up was brunette and a bookworm like I was and still am, so I always had hope that one day, I’d be the one to get the prince, lol. As I got older, it became more of a sign of my heritage. Personally I could never see myself as a blonde and I’m slim, but I know girls much skinnier. I actually struggle with being too skinny though. When I was little, people would ask if I ate and as I’m getting older, I hear comments like, “You WEIGH enough to give blood?!” and “You can’t have kids! You have no hips!” I know people are acting concerned with the first comment and the second comment is meant as a joke, but it does bother me. Honestly, next time I hear something like that, I’m going to tell them that my body’s not the weather and therefore does not need to be talked about!!

Also, I play rugby and I’m training for a marathon. If I really wasn’t healthy/had an eating disorder/etc., would I even have the energy for either of those?
 
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