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dostoyevsky
Guest
Ah, Tom Cruise’s insanity…always good for a smile.
What do you mean “blind”?
What do you mean “blind”?
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Chovy
Guest
We’re triggering on day 13 with no ultrasound. My doctor only likes his own office’s ultrasounds or one person that he trained (who is 2 hrs. away). I’ve been a patient for so long that day 13 seems to work. I have to do a few days of my own shots because DH will be out of town. I’m really not looking forward to it, but after all we go through to try to have a baby, a few shots in my tummy doesn’t seem too bad.
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dostoyevsky
Guest
Yeah, I just had to do the shot in my stomach myself this month. It hurt more than when the nurse did it. I think I went really slowly because I was freaked out having to do it. Now it’s the wonderful waiting period where I try not to read too much into everything…
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Convert_in_99
Guest
Well Chovy, I have to be blunt here: No child of yours, whether natural or adopted, can ever, NEVER EVER, say it was an “accident” or "unwanted."
**You inspire me Chovy. What a blessing you are to God and others. Still hoping and praying for you!
**
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Convert_in_99
Guest
**Hello! I don’t think I have ever met you. I haven’t been online much, due to resting. ****My husband and I have been TTC for (whatever the ticker on my signature says…I think its 17 months.) No luck yet, but still trying. We are very open to adoption and will most certainly persue that road as soon as we can afford it (might be 5-10 years at this rate.) **
**These shots sound painful. My mom is diabetic and I always flinch when I see her stick her belly. EEK! You are doing so much to promote the cause of life. You and your husband will surely be blessed! **
Well, God bless you and know you are in my prayers as you are TTC.
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Chovy
Guest
Eek. That’s what I was afraid of. The last time I was taking shots like this and gave them to myself, my stomach also reacted in big hot welts wherever I put the shots. Slowness did hurt. Well, that and the fact that I kept standing there holding the shot self-talking and getting close to giving myself the shot just to pull it back and start it all over again. When will you be able to test this month? I should ovulate this weekend, so testing day is somewhere around Aug 7th (of course I’ll start testing at 5 DPO anyway and be excited over the positive tests even though I take HCG after ovulation and obviously my tests will be positive). I’m still ridiculously positive, am doing novenas and going to Confession in case my secret thought that only supremely “good” people get pregnant is true.
If you don’t mind sharing, what’s your protocol this month? Shots, clomid…?
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Chovy
Guest
Oh Convert, you are always so kind. I hope to someday be as good of a person as you are!Well Chovy, I have to be blunt here: No child of yours, whether natural or adopted, can ever, NEVER EVER, say it was an “accident” or "unwanted."
**You inspire me Chovy. What a blessing you are to God and others. Still hoping and praying for you!
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dostoyevsky
Guest
Chovy,
I’ve been on Tamoxifen (it’s like Clomid, but doesn’t dry up your CM) for awhile. This is my second month with the addition of an HCG shot (Ovidrel). I took the shot on July 9th.
I’m holding out as long as possible before testing. Last time I had the shot I got AF only 10 days later, so I didn’t get a chance to test.
Yeah, I always get hopeful every month. I should go back to doing some novenas too. I’ll start one tonight for both of us.
I’ve been on Tamoxifen (it’s like Clomid, but doesn’t dry up your CM) for awhile. This is my second month with the addition of an HCG shot (Ovidrel). I took the shot on July 9th.
I’m holding out as long as possible before testing. Last time I had the shot I got AF only 10 days later, so I didn’t get a chance to test.
Yeah, I always get hopeful every month. I should go back to doing some novenas too. I’ll start one tonight for both of us.
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dostoyevsky
Guest
Convert in 99,
I just joined today. I’m assuming you converted in 1999? I converted in 1997.
My husband is not ready to discuss adoption. I tried bringing it up, but he said he’s afraid he wouldn’t love the child as much as if he or she was his own child. Of course everyone in his family is mega fertile. Anyway, I think he will come around eventually because he loves kids and we both want a big family.
I know what you mean about the cost of adoption…
I just joined today. I’m assuming you converted in 1999? I converted in 1997.
My husband is not ready to discuss adoption. I tried bringing it up, but he said he’s afraid he wouldn’t love the child as much as if he or she was his own child. Of course everyone in his family is mega fertile. Anyway, I think he will come around eventually because he loves kids and we both want a big family.
I know what you mean about the cost of adoption…
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Teakafrog
Guest
You absolutely DO love the child the same. I have both bio (finally!) and adopted kids, and I swear there is no difference at all. None. It is your child, just like any other child.
Costs vary widely. You can adopt for very little, or a whole lot. Depends on how you want to do it. I suggest starting to research the different types of adoption now, so that when the time comes, you will at least have a clue as to how you want to proceed. We had talked about adopting for years before we actually did, and I was glad I had done some reading so that when hubby said go ahead, I had info to give him so we could decide from there.
No matter what it costs, it is SO worth it!
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dostoyevsky
Guest
Teakafrog,
Thanks for the encouragement! I will look into it more.
Thanks for the encouragement!
I will look into it more.
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Chovy
Guest
Ah yes- I’ve been taking Letrazole which is very similar to Tamoxifen. I’ll add you to my prayer list for those of us TTC.
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BeauSoleil
Guest
I am so glad this forum is here…
My name is Anna. I was married to a spousal abuser for 14 years and had 5 kids with him, plus a foster daughter. I was not Catholic then. I had my tubes tied in 2001, after the birth of my daughter. I wanted to prevent any more children being born into that desperately miserable marriage.
I divorced. I barely escaped that marriage with my life and those of my children intact. I met and married a wonderful Catholic man who is 5 years younger than me and has no children of his own. I had a tubal reversal surgery with dr. Gary Berger in 2004. They were able to repair one tube.
Since then I have had 5 miscarriages.
The guilt is so miserable. Where others are infertile due to no fault of their own, I caused mine. I broke it. I confessed the tubal ligation as sin in confession, but I feel no better. I took the ability to have children away from my husband.He may never have biological kids and that is my fault.
I have had all the testing done there is. They cannot find a reason for the miscarriages. I think I am being punished and rightfully so. This is so totally my consequence for my sin, even though at the time I had no idea it was a sin. It wasn’t in the church I attended at the time…
I don’t even know what my point is posting this. I have prayed my heart out for one more chance. I am 38 now and time is running out. We cannot afford private adoption and I will not adopt from the State after my horrible experience as a foster mom for many years ( the kids were great btw, but the system is crazy and very hard if you have other young kids at home).
My husband is a wonderful (step) dad to my kids. I pray God will give us one baby together. This 3 year infertility journey has broken my spirit.
Thanks for listening.
My name is Anna. I was married to a spousal abuser for 14 years and had 5 kids with him, plus a foster daughter. I was not Catholic then. I had my tubes tied in 2001, after the birth of my daughter. I wanted to prevent any more children being born into that desperately miserable marriage.
I divorced. I barely escaped that marriage with my life and those of my children intact. I met and married a wonderful Catholic man who is 5 years younger than me and has no children of his own. I had a tubal reversal surgery with dr. Gary Berger in 2004. They were able to repair one tube.
Since then I have had 5 miscarriages.
The guilt is so miserable. Where others are infertile due to no fault of their own, I caused mine. I broke it. I confessed the tubal ligation as sin in confession, but I feel no better. I took the ability to have children away from my husband.He may never have biological kids and that is my fault.
I have had all the testing done there is. They cannot find a reason for the miscarriages. I think I am being punished and rightfully so. This is so totally my consequence for my sin, even though at the time I had no idea it was a sin. It wasn’t in the church I attended at the time…
I don’t even know what my point is posting this. I have prayed my heart out for one more chance. I am 38 now and time is running out. We cannot afford private adoption and I will not adopt from the State after my horrible experience as a foster mom for many years ( the kids were great btw, but the system is crazy and very hard if you have other young kids at home).
My husband is a wonderful (step) dad to my kids. I pray God will give us one baby together. This 3 year infertility journey has broken my spirit.
Thanks for listening.
L
LittleDeb
Guest
My heart goes out to you. Welcome to the forums.
Please know positively that infertility is not a punishment. We have free will yet when we let God transform our lives He gives great blessings. You ARE forgiven!!
And as you said, you didn’t even know it was wrong! That lessens your culpability. God reads your heart. He is completely just yet also completely merciful. He allows us to bear certain crosses because it draws us closer to Him.I too, thought my infertility was a punishment for poor choices. It wasn’t. It was a gift He gave me to bring me closer to Him. Think now on what you have to offer the world in Jesus’ name. You can testify that contraception isn’t the answer to spousal abuse! Might I suggest this article? catholic.com/thisrock/1998/9804fea1.asp The author addresses that many doctors will send an abused woman home with contraception in marital abuse situations. She talks about how wrong our whole society is in thinking that way. Due to your trials and conversion you can now help others from a first hand perspective. What a blessing you are!
Forgive yourself. That will help. Some secular people say you just have to “relax” and it will happen. There is more to it than that. Sure, relax, but also forgive yourself, God already has. He knows better than you do. He is here to draw you even closer. Accept His plan for you.
I have a funny story about acceptance of my infertility. It might make you laugh so I’ll post it. I was on the phone with my mom one day in a very bad mood about being infertile. She was trying to talk me through it. I was saying things like, “well we don’t even the money for fertility treatments so I am not supposed to have kids anyway!” and “even if we were supposed to adopt we don’t have the money to do that either.” She said that God will provide. I said “yeah right, the money to have kids is just going to fall out of the sky.” She said, “well maybe not the money, but the opportunity to earn the money might.” I ended the call with “yeah whatever, I am just in grumpy mood I guess, just pray for me.” She said she would continue her prayers. I hit the button on my phone.
- Before I could even set it down it rang again*. I answered and it was a gentleman introducing himself as a friend of some of our best friends (now our son’s Godparents.) He said “you were recommended by them that you and your husband might be interested in earning some extra money.” I just stared at the phone for a minute in shock! It was a legitimate offer and 4 years later are still working for him in an ideal situation. We didn’t end up having to get fertility treatments and weren’t called to adopt. I finally ovulated twice that year and we conceived our son on the second try.
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BeauSoleil
Guest
Thank you. I really appreciate your response. That was an amazing opportunity to earn money!!My heart goes out to you. Welcome to the forums.
Please know positively that infertility is not a punishment. We have free will yet when we let God transform our lives He gives great blessings. You ARE forgiven!!
I too, thought my infertility was a punishment for poor choices. It wasn’t. It was a gift He gave me to bring me closer to Him. Think now on what you have to offer the world in Jesus’ name. You can testify that contraception isn’t the answer to spousal abuse! Might I suggest this article? catholic.com/thisrock/1998/9804fea1.asp The author addresses that many doctors will send an abused woman home with contraception in marital abuse situations. She talks about how wrong our whole society is in thinking that way. Due to your trials and conversion you can now help others from a first hand perspective. What a blessing you are!
Forgive yourself. That will help. Some secular people say you just have to “relax” and it will happen. There is more to it than that. Sure, relax, but also forgive yourself, God already has. He knows better than you do. He is here to draw you even closer. Accept His plan for you.
I have a funny story about acceptance of my infertility. It might make you laugh so I’ll post it. I was on the phone with my mom one day in a very bad mood about being infertile. She was trying to talk me through it. I was saying things like, “well we don’t even the money for fertility treatments so I am not supposed to have kids anyway!” and “even if we were supposed to adopt we don’t have the money to do that either.” She said that God will provide. I said “yeah right, the money to have kids is just going to fall out of the sky.” She said, “well maybe not the money, but the opportunity to earn the money might.” I ended the call with “yeah whatever, I am just in grumpy mood I guess, just pray for me.” She said she would continue her prayers. I hit the button on my phone.
Trust Him. Forgive yourself. Draw as close as you can to Him. He will show you where He wants you to go. God bless you and your wonderful husband during this time of struggle.
- Before I could even set it down it rang again*. I answered and it was a gentleman introducing himself as a friend of some of our best friends (now our son’s Godparents.) He said “you were recommended by them that you and your husband might be interested in earning some extra money.” I just stared at the phone for a minute in shock! It was a legitimate offer and 4 years later are still working for him in an ideal situation. We didn’t end up having to get fertility treatments and weren’t called to adopt. I finally ovulated twice that year and we conceived our son on the second try.
You make a very good point about being able to testify that contraception is not the answer to spousal abuse. I honestly already try to discourage folks from permanent birth control, because I don’t want them to suffer this guilt.
Forgiving myself is the hardest. I hope I get better at that over time…
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waitngnjyflhope
Guest
Seems like we are all on hiatus…I know that I have been in my own world for the past week. With this cycle, I knew that I wasn’t pregnant. No changes, etc.
But, then I was late. So it was hard to go into that mind frame of thinking, “well, maybe I was wrong…maybe we are!”
Then I started, and the emotions plummeted back down. Sometimes I want to shoot my hormones…I mean really, do I have to be up and down ALL of the time? Do I have to get my hopes up every cycle? Maybe I can just stay in neutral territory?
Patiently waiting…unruffled. That would be nice…and painless.
It’s a good thing I’ve been reading about suffering lately. Quite applicable.
But, then I was late. So it was hard to go into that mind frame of thinking, “well, maybe I was wrong…maybe we are!”
Then I started, and the emotions plummeted back down. Sometimes I want to shoot my hormones…I mean really, do I have to be up and down ALL of the time? Do I have to get my hopes up every cycle? Maybe I can just stay in neutral territory?
Patiently waiting…unruffled. That would be nice…and painless.
It’s a good thing I’ve been reading about suffering lately. Quite applicable.
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dostoyevsky
Guest
Yeah, I would love to get off the emotional rollercoaster…wish I knew how to…
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dkoinzan
Guest
Well, I am not on the rollercoaster. We are still trying to avoid and now I am spotting all the time. My husband is trying to be patient. I am sure I have mentioned that he isn’t Catholic and doesn’t totally agree with NFP. I am still taking temp. four times a day and charting with Napro. I am feeling old and tired. I would love to get pregnant, but I would be scared to death that I would have to bury that child also. I just keep offering all this up and asking for the streingth to get through. I try to continue to remind myself that all this is the stuff that could get me to heaven. Prayer has been hard lately but I try to just bulldoze through. Yesterday I went to little Theresa’s grave and just sat and bawled. I had glucose tests on Friday. We are waiting on word of how that went. You all are about the only people I have to vent to. I try to take it all as it comes, but at times it all seems alittle scary. I still don’t know why the babies died and there is no real clear answer to what is causing all the rest. I have been at this since baby Joseph’s death in Nov. and I really don’t have any answers.:banghead: :crying: I would love to get an “OK” to just try to get pregnant. At least that would mean I am healthy!
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dostoyevsky
Guest
I’m so sorry----will be praying for you…
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dkoinzan
Guest
You don’t have to be sorry. That rollercoaster is so hard! I am just frustrated. I am suppose to try to get rid of stress right now and the biggest stress is not understanding what is going on and not being able to talk to anyone about it. I remember being in your shoes and just holding baby outfits and crying my head off. I have been using the this time to clean the tar out of the house. Next I will go work on sanding drywall seams in the basement. Maybe I can get a couple of wall smoothed out before my husband gets home.
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