Inter-faith Relationships

[kage_ar]

For the record, another woman here, and I would advice against inter-faith relationships to anyone - – REGARDLESS of the faith.

Baptists should date/marry Baptists.

Assemblies of God should date and marry fellow AofGer’s

Muslims/Muslims

Catholics/Catholics

Orthodox/Orthodox.

And so on, and so on, and so on…

 

[kage_ar]

PLEASE HELP I NEED USEFULL ADVICE

I have partly answered my own question but I do love her and I do want to be with her even though it seems hopeless. I want her to be a part of mine and my daughters lives. Oh ya i forgot to mention I have a daughter from a previous marriage to a non-Catholic. (just to be clear she filed for the divorce because she found someone else).

So should I try and see if she’ll change or should I just give up and start my endless search for a good Catholic girl? (they’re not very plentyfull in this area)

Love God first. If this woman asks you to choose between the Eucharist and her, seems you know what the answer is.

Pray, if marriage is your Vocation then God will give you the grace and a Catholic spouse!

 

[Johndigger]

1ke, I’ve read many of your posts (in this section and others) and I have often agreed with you and sometimes disagreed with you. One constant in your posts is your tone, which is often cold and somewhat condescending. I think your dedication to speaking God’s truth and sharing your vast knowledge of the Church’s “rules” (for lack of a better term) is very commendable, for it is often a difficult thing to do. I would just like to suggest that you try to soften your tone a bit, and I think you’ll be able to get through to people more effectively. I hope you understand this is not an attack, but a suggestion, since we are called to speak the truth with kindness. (Please know I’m not trying to start a debate or argument, and don’t want to go down that road.)

God bless.

1ke, if it’s any consolation - I love the straight, no nonsense, absolutely orthodox tone and content to your posts. I completely agree with the Church in this matter. Mixed Marriages should be discouraged because it risks both your children’s souls and yours.

Any Mother or Father that is willing to risk their childrens’ souls probably needs to think about their vocation and about what it means to be a parent.

In Christ,

JD

 

[1ke]

So should I try and see if she’ll change or should I just give up and start my endless search for a good Catholic girl? (they’re not very plentyfull in this area)

You should move on and find a Catholic to date. You have learned a valuable lesson-- you put things in the wrong order. You dated for a long time, got attached, and THEN brought up the topic of religion. Now you are emotionally involved and are finding difficult to do what you know you must-- break it off.

Next time, put faith first and everything else after it.

 

[Belinda_C]

I have witnessed an inter-faith relationship that has worked very well. She is a devout Catholic (Irish background) and he is the son of an Anglican minister. Every weekend they attend each other’s church. During the week they both volunteer for the St Vincent De Paul Society and they are involved in a lot of other charity work. They have been married about 8 years, but have no children as they are having trouble conceiving. They are planning on doing missionary work together overseas. All things are possible!

 

[wifeandmomoftwo]

I have witnessed an inter-faith relationship that has worked very well. She is a devout Catholic (Irish background) and he is the son of an Anglican minister. Every weekend they attend each other’s church. During the week they both volunteer for the St Vincent De Paul Society and they are involved in a lot of other charity work. They have been married about 8 years, but have no children as they are having trouble conceiving. They are planning on doing missionary work together overseas. All things are possible!

Sorry who are they gonna do missionary work for the catholic church or the anglican?

 

[Belinda_C]

Sorry who are they gonna do missionary work for the catholic church or the anglican?

I’m not sure who the missionary work is for, probably Catholic. They just had a missionary priest give a talk at their house recently. But they do do charity work for both churches. They are a very happy and giving couple.

 

[richardeekw]

Hello Sweet_Jill

We live life from the womb to the tomb.
When I was younger, I have always felt that inter-faith relationships /marriage is OK. So what!

Now that I try to be closer to our LORD; I realize that It is best for both to be of the same FAITH.

Suggest that both search whatever they are attracted to - using faith and reason. ALSO

Do not miss out on the Roman Catholic Faith (through Rite of Christian Initian Programme) without obligation and

Sit silently together, Preferable before the “Blessed Sacrament” or inside a Roman Catholic Church before the “Tabanacle”

Howevver, young people are “in a hurry”.
I am unable to convince my children to do that.
Please pray for me -
Pray, Trust and Don’t Worry.

 

[Susan1950]

Good afternoon from KZN

My ‘two cents worth’ … I married an Anglican more than 32 years ago. We had a nuptial Mass and he totally understood what was expected of him in raising children as Catholics. In fact, when I was visiting friends in the States for a period of 6 weeks he ensured that our son got to catechism classes and Mass. My husband is a much better Christian than I am … and probably knows more about fidelity than many Catholic males. He doesn’t go to Church, but his best hour of a Sunday is listening to our only RC radio station in South Africa - they play the most beautiful high Church music, unlike the happy-clappy stuff to which we are now subjugated.

So to “Sweet Jill”, I say go ahead and marry the fellow if you both love each other. That’s more important than marrying a bloke just because he’s Catholic - he can turn out to be a dirty, rotten scoundrel

Good luck & best wishes
Susan

PS - our son (25) still enjoys going to Church as often as possible.

 

[jmendez]

I can’t add much to this thread, but I was dating a Mormon girl for a year. I thought we could ‘make it work’. She was willing, but when the time came to make solid plans to get married, I felt the Holy Spirit tell me to walk away. It was like a lesson to learn. I think inter-faith marriages can work (all things possible with God), but it wasn’t for me.

I have to thank everyone for sharing. This forum is a ministry in of itself.

 

[IrishJoe]

Here’s what I think of interfaith dating: generally a bad idea. It can lead to conflicts, discomfort, and being secretive about one’s beliefs. For example, I dated one man, and we just avoided talking about God because I didn’t want to offend him and he didn’t want to say anything to drive me away. Not the kind of relationship you’d want to be in.

I think that communication is really important in all things except religion. I’ve had Catholics tell me that dating a non Catholic is always bad. It seems totally judgmental which is one thing I dislike about a lot of Catholics. The fact that she’s Anglican and probably more catholic than a lot of Irish people i know back home speaks louder to me. I love her view of God and her love is to God first not the Church. Which again is something that annoys me about Catholicism. Perhaps if people spent less time studying and writing rules and doctrines then we’d be better Christians.

Baptists should date/marry Baptists.

Assemblies of God should date and marry fellow AofGer’s

Muslims/Muslims

Catholics/Catholics

Orthodox/Orthodox.

And so on, and so on, and so on…

that leads to gene pool problems… Additionally it means that religions become pseudo ethnicities which is total rubbish.

 

[Bible_Believer]

this has been such an interesting thread to read! For me personally, I think its best to marry within your own faith, regardless of what it is…just seems like things would be easier in alot of things, but I know many who are of different faith that are married and have good marriages,but just for me personally, Im glad I am married to a person who is of like faith. It was great reading all the posts about this!

 

[Markstorm]

I think that communication is really important in all things except religion. I’ve had Catholics tell me that dating a non Catholic is always bad. It seems totally judgmental which is one thing I dislike about a lot of Catholics. The fact that she’s Anglican and probably more catholic than a lot of Irish people i know back home speaks louder to me. I love her view of God and her love is to God first not the Church. Which again is something that annoys me about Catholicism. Perhaps if people spent less time studying and writing rules and doctrines then we’d be better Christians.

Yes, the Church’s guidances makes us worse Christians. Do you even listen to yourself?

that leads to gene pool problems… Additionally it means that religions become pseudo ethnicities which is total rubbish.

Yeah because the gene pool is a more important concern than for families to be unified spiritually. The human race is in a precarious situation and we need to take all steps to strengthen our gene pool or else we’ll be extinct.

 

[kage_ar]

that leads to gene pool problems… Additionally it means that religions become pseudo ethnicities which is total rubbish.

When did they discover the Assemblies of God gene or the Catholic gene? I must have missed the news that day

Faith is not a matter of genetics.

 

[Child_of_Christ]

Sweet Jill, I am a Cradle Catholic and I am Married to a Nazarene. He is the oldest son of a minister. Next week we will celebrate our fourth year of marriage.

All the advice you have received is, without a doubt, given in good faith. However, after reading all of them, there seems to be a missing thread. You need to ask The Lord! You must invite GOD not only to a wedding, but to a marriage!

We promised a dear friend, also a priest, that we would start every day in prayer. Not an easy promise to keep in todays world. But keep the promise we have. Every morning my husband and I pray! We thank God for our union and ask Him to bless it.

You are right that a major key is respect. We respect each others views. I realize that we don’t have the problems that young couples face, we are past child bearing ages. But I have faith that through prayer answers are received!

I know that it is not doctrine. But when we stand before God, I don’t think the question will be “What Church did you attend?” I think the question will be, “Did you live your life like My Son, Chirst?” Take care and God bless!

 

[Elizabeth_C]

I haven’t even read your post completely… or any of the replies. But, I feel I must reply myself.

My statement to all of those who say “Break up with the non-Catholic” is: “STOP!!!”

I am married to a Catholic man… (who, as it happens, is now the one who doesn’t go to church.) I attended Mass whenever he did. I grew up unbaptised and unchurched. His faith…(which is still strong despite his absence from church)… was a guide for me. I was actually quite skeptical and cynical. I have now been Catholic for 3 1/2 years. Had his devotion (to the church and to me) not been there, where might I be now??

Those of the Catholic faith must choose to stay strong in their faith. Those they come in contact with… including non-Catholic friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives… will be influenced by the lives they lead and the faith they show.

Oh, I forgot to mention: We have been married 19 1/2 years and have 2 beautiful, baptised, Catholic children.
Elizabeth

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I haven’t even read your post completely… or any of the replies. But, I feel I must reply myself.

My statement to all of those who say “Break up with the non-Catholic” is: “STOP!!!”

I am married to a Catholic man… (who, as it happens, is now the one who doesn’t go to church.) I attended Mass whenever he did. I grew up unbaptised and unchurched.** His faith…(which is still strong despite his absence from church)… was a guide for me. I was actually quite skeptical and cynical.** I have now been Catholic for 3 1/2 years. Had his devotion (to the church and to me) not been there, where might I be now??

Those of the Catholic faith must choose to stay strong in their faith. Those they come in contact with… including non-Catholic friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives… will be influenced by the lives they lead and the faith they show.

Elizabeth

**I am in a similar situation. It is great that it worked out great for us both but there are many other examples of it being the opposite. I think the point that people are trying to get across is that it’s not about a LABEL. It is about faith. And if Catholicism is truly near and dear to someone’s heart then how could they consider starting a family without sharing that foundation? Situations like ours where we were open to guidance probably have better odds though when compared to two people very strong in their respective faiths.

If we were speaking of sharing different values/ideas I don’t think people would be as defensive. After all, we’d all like to marry someone who shares what we consider important…like where to live, if mom will stay home or work, if dad will travel for work or stay local, how many children we would like, what kind of car to drive, and in today’s society, how much and what kind of sex to have…

malia**

 

[Maui71]

Hi,

Just a note St. Augustine’s mother (a devote catholic and saint) was married to a Roman Pagan.

Profile: Mother of Saint Augustine of Hippo, whose writings about her are the primary source of our information. A Christian from birth, she was given in marriage to a bad-tempered, adulterous pagan named Patricius. She prayed constantly for the conversion of her husband (who converted on his death bed), and of her son (who converted after a wild life). catholic-forum.com/saints/saintm04.htm

So… it’s been done before but I bet it is usually a cross to bear.

You should pray and ask for guidance.

 

[1ke]

My statement to all of those who say “Break up with the non-Catholic” is: “STOP!!!”

No can do.

I am married to a Catholic man… (who, as it happens, is now the one who doesn’t go to church.) I attended Mass whenever he did. I grew up unbaptised and unchurched.

Elizabeth, the fact that you and your husband made it work to one degree or another is wonderful. However, such an individual tale CANNOT be extrapolated to a general statement.

It would be extremely reckless to advise anyone to go into a marriage with someone who does not share their faith. The Church cautions against it, and tries to help those who insist through pastoral counseling.

 

[Elizabeth_C]

No can do.

Elizabeth, the fact that you and your husband made it work to one degree or another is wonderful. However, such an individual tale CANNOT be extrapolated to a general statement.

It would be extremely reckless to advise anyone to go into a marriage with someone who does not share their faith. The Church cautions against it, and tries to help those who insist through pastoral counseling.

So, to you, the testamony of not one, but several people on here, that they or their spouse have converted to the Catholic faith, who may not otherwise have been exposed to the Catholic faith, is not enough to persuade you??? Saving of souls is not a good enough reason?

I have read the arguments posted here. I understand the need for faith in the family. I’ve learned about the importance of the domestic church. My heart was changed through my husband. If left to the Catholics around me in my daily life, I would probably not have converted. There are several people I work with that I would never have known that they were Catholic except that I talked about RCIA and converting. Were they speaking of their faith? Were they evangelizing? No… but I don’t fault them. It is not a place for shouting out your personal beliefs.

Yes, I will admit that 2 people of strong faith in different directions will have problems. But… with God, all things are possible. Prayer and faith are the key.

I went through the counseling with the priest. I went through an Engaged Encouter weekend of counseling with Catholic couples sharing and pointing out obstacles. I know there can be problems. But I also don’t think that a blanket “Break up, don’t get married” is the right answer either.